Twelfth Night
by Hitnwey
Summary: AU Thought you got rid of me huh? I'm back, and so is the crew of Twelfth Night! Afterplay Cast Party with a special guest! Pizzas here!
1. Prelude: This COULD mean trouble

Whitney: hey there! I'm back. Thought I might as well try again.

Heath: since the first time didn't teach you anything.

Whitney: #evil death-glare of **DOOM**# you HUSH!

Heath: whatever

Erk: Apparently she didn't learn the FIRST time, so she's going to try and get herself deleted again.

Heath: you really are slow.

Whitney: You are starting to dig a hole to China.

Heath: huh?

Erk: she's getting mad at you.

Heath: Oh.

Nino: disclaimer She doesn't own Fire Emblem, or Twelfth Night, or whatever school these guys go to!

Heath: so read, laugh, roll your eyes, whatever. If you want help trying to understand some of the quotes to follow-

Nino: and hopefully they WILL follow, 'cause we don't want to be kicked out again...

Whitney: would you guys give it a REST?

Heath: then try going to sparknotes.com. Enjoy!

Erk: good luck with that last part.

* * *

It was another boring day at school. The teacher stood at the front of the class, droning on and on and on about something or other; Hector wasn't really paying as much attention as he should be. Classes always put him to sleep, math particularly. He woke up when the piece of paper hit him in the side of the head, however. Looking down on his desk he saw a crumpled note, probably from Lyn or Eliwood: they both sat to the side of him. Furtively glancing around to make sure no one important was watching, he opened the note. It was from Eliwood.  
  
_Hector: did you hear about English class? -Eliwood_  
  
Flipping the paper over, Hector scribbled back.  
  
_-No, I haven't. What's up?_  
  
Again making sure the teacher wasn't looking he lobbed the ball of paper back at Eliwood. Eliwood caught it, read it, and shook his head. Lyn leaned over her desk to read the note. Sighing, she shook her head. 

"Does he EVER pay attention in class?" she whispered.

"Rarely," Eliwood whispered back, writing his reply. Lyn giggled.

"How do you think he's going to respond to this?"

Eliwood grinned slyly. "With his usual charm, I'm sure."

Lyn tried to muffle her laughter at the remark, but the teacher caught it anyway.

"If you find trig so amusing, Lyn, why don't you come here and solve the problem on the board?"

"Damn," Lyn muttered, pushing herself out of her desk and dragging herself to the front where she took the chalk from the teacher and faced the problem on the board. Seizing the momentary distraction, Eliwood skimmed the note back to Hector. His aim was a little off, though, and it bypassed Hector, going a full row further, landing on Serra's desk. Serra promptly left off trying to get Erk's attention and examined the note.

"Ah... Serra, can I have that back, please?" Hector hissed to the little devil who was handling the note. Serra eyed him critically.

"Why?"

"Because it's mine!" He said, a little louder than he meant too.

"Hector! Is there a problem, or do I have to remove you from the room?" Hector whipped around to face the teacher, his face the very picture of innocence.

"No Ms. Arthur, there's no problem here."

"Let's keep it that way!" the teacher snapped before turning back to Lyn who was still struggling with the problem on the board. Or she had been: When the teacher turned to berate Hector, Rath had taken the opportunity to hand Lyn the written answer, and she was quickly finishing the problem, much to the teacher's amazement.

"C'mon Serra, please?" he begged.

"What will you give me?"

"Serra!"

"Weeelll?" she asked in a singsong voice. Except it wasn't really singsong, since Hector was tempted to clap his hand's over his ears. Her voice was painful.

"Serra...c'mon, pleases?"

"I'm waiting..." She said, ignoring him

"...Fine. How about a date with Erk?"

"Hey!" Erk hissed. "Keep me outta this, Hector!"

Hector sighed. He was out of options, frankly. He wasn't about to offer himself on a date with Serra, and apparently he couldn't bribe Erk. Maybe Matthew? Nope, Matthew would probably kill him. "Well, what do you want, Serra?" he asked, terrified of the answer.

"Take me out on a date!" He'd known that was coming.

"Oh Lord..." Hector groaned. Why didn't he just ask Eliwood to write him another note? If anything, Eliwood was probably enjoying this.

"Fine, fine, just gimmie that note!"

"Whee!" Serra giggled, handing out the note, then snatching her hand back.

"Serra!"

"Hang on, I just want to read it!"

"Errrgh..." Hector growled. Serra opened the note read it, giggled, then looked at him.

"You really oughta pay attention, Hector."

"Yeah, yeah, just give it back, OK?"

"Oh, fine. Here." She scowled at him and thrust the note at him.

"Finally..." Hector said, rolling his eyes. "This had so better be worth it..." He muttered, scanning Eliwood's reply.

**"...WHAT?!?"**

"Hector!" the teacher's voice yelled at him. "That's enough! Go stand in the hall!"

"Grr..." Hector ground his teeth as he stood up and was shooed from the classroom.

* * *

Finally the bell rang and the students were dismissed from Recess. He may have been kicked out of class, and standing may be uncomfortable, but at least it had gotten him out of math class. And freed his brain to think about Eliwood's note. 

_C'mon Hector. You really don't know? The English teacher mentioned it: we're going to be doing a play. Shakespeare, of course. Twelfth Night, I think was the play. I could be wrong. I guess sometimes I'm no better than you at listening. Hehheh –Eliwood_  
  
"Aw, MAN!" Hector groaned. If he knew the English teacher, Ms. Spencer, it would be worth extra credit, which he desperately needed. So he'd have to go. Maybe if he was lucky, he could grab a small part, or be an extra, and he'd get the credit without having to work really hard on it.

"So, what'd ya think Hector?" Lyn asked as she came out of the classroom. "Are you going?"

"Are YOU?" he asked back. Lyn thought about it for a moment.

"Probably. I like acting in any case, so this could be fun."

Eliwood emerged from the classroom. "I'll bet your going because you need the credit, eh Hector?"

"Shut up," Hector growled at his friend. "When and where is this happening?"

"Tomorrow, in the art room," Lyn said promptly. "Really Hector, you should pay attention."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "C'mon, it's recess, and I wanna get away before Ms. Arthur thinks up some other fault of mine she can use to get me in trouble."

Lyn winked at Eliwood. "You know, this COULD be fun..."

#The Next Day#

"Where is he?" Lyn asked Eliwood. 

"I don't know, I'm not his keeper!" Eliwood rolled his eyes. "Although he needs one sometimes. But he needs this credit: he'll be here."

"He'd better..." Lyn muttered.

"He's better what?" Hector asked, coming up behind Lyn. Lyn whirled around.

"Where have you BEEN?!?" Lyn demanded, her green eyes flashing. Hector raised an eyebrow at her.

"I slept in. So what?"

Lyn rolled her eyes. "You, are, HOPELESS," she said, accentuating every word.

"Yes, I know, you've told me before." Hector brushed her remarks aside, which made Lyn angrier, if anything. "Look, what's got you so –"

"HECTOR!" an all too familiar voice rang out down the hallway.

"Oh God no – "he groaned.

"What'd you do to draw her attention, Hector?" Eliwood asked him.

"Nothing. When you threw the note, it went to far and SHE got it. Then I had to barter for it back –"

"Hector!" Serra shrieked in his ear, practically throwing herself on him. "Ohmigod, I found the perfect place for our date, you'll never believe it, it's so QUAINT, and-"

"Serra..."Lyn ground her teeth together. "Shut up!"

Serra looked at Lyn. "Oh!" she squealed. "Hi Lyn! What's up? Oh, how are things with you and –"

"SHUT UP!" Lyn yelled, cutting Serra off before stalking away. Serra stared after her wide-eyed.

"What's her problem?"

"I dunno, busted eardrums maybe?" Hector asked sarcastically.

"Oh," said Serra doubtfully. "ANYWAY, Hector, I want you to pick me up Saturday night, blah blah blah..."

"C'mon Eliwood," Hector sighed. "I don't think even Ms. Spencer's rants could compare to Serra right now."

"Amen," Eliwood grinned as they entered the Art room just before the bell rang.

A few minutes later everyone was seated in the art rooms sporadically placed chairs when the teacher entered. 

"Good morning class!" She chirped happily.

"It's mid-afternoon, Ms. Spencer!" Nino interrupted the teacher. Ms. Spencer stopped short, took a look out the window, and shrugged.

"Oh, whatever. Now, I trust you all knew about today's little assignment?"

"Err..." the class chorused. Ms. Spencer rolled her eyes.

"We will be doing a PLAY, if you remembered! 'Twelfth Night', by William Shakespeare. Now, this will be presented on Open House, like always, so we will only be doing excerpts, since I don't think the school would like us taking up all the time."

As she talked, she handed out pieces of paper to students. When Hector received his, he saw it was a passage from the play. That made sense... sorta.

"Does everyone have a sheet?" Ms. Spencer asked, looking around. "Yes? Good. Now, read over the lines. We'll have a reading in a few moments, to help decide who gets what part."

Hector just groaned. Examining his sheet, he saw that it was in two parts: two people would be selected to read off against each other. And, knowing Ms. Spencer, he couldn't read off against Eliwood.

"Alright, everyone done reading? Good. For our first pair, let's have... Heath and Hector."

Hector rose and got to the front where Heath was already standing, and strange look on his face. "I was kinda hoping she wasn't serious," he whispered when Hector joined him. Hector just nodded.

"Alright, Hector you be Antonio, and Heath, you be Sebastian. Start!"

"'Will you stay no longer? Nor will you not that I go with you?'" Hector started. What gibberish was this?

"'By your patience, no. My stars shine darkly over me. The malignancy of my fate might perhaps distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you your leave, that I may bear my evils alone. It were a bad recompense for your love, to lay any of them on you.'" Heath spoke with considerable more energy than Hector, and that made Hector look bad. Time to take it up a notch!

"'Let me yet know of where you wither you are bound?'" he said, trying to made it sound better than Heath. Heath, unfortunately, caught on.

"'No, sooth, sir; my determinate voyage is mere extravagancy. But I perceive in you so excellent a touch of modesty, that you will not extort from me what I am willing to keep in; therefore it charges me in manners that rather to express myself.'"

"Very good boys!" Ms. Spencer clapped, and the class went along out of habit. Hector slunk back to his seat and slouched in it. He was definitely going to be an extra: he'd barely understood half the things Heath had been saying.

And it went on: next was Eliwood and Rath, followed by Erk and Jaffar, who seemed to be trying to out-do each other, Sain and Kent, Wil and Lowen, and finally Matthew and Guy.

Then it was the girls turn, starting with Priscilla and Ninian.

"'The honorable lady of the house, which is she?'" Ninian started, playing Viola.

"'Speak to me; I shall answer for her. Your will?'" Priscilla played Olivia.

"'Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty – I pray you tell me if this be the lady of house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech; for besides that it is excellently well penn'd, I have taken great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me sustain no scorn; I am very comptible, even to the least sinister usage.'"

"'Whence came you, sir?'"

"'I can say little more than I have studied, and that question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that I may proceed in my speech.'"

"'Are you a comedian?"'

"'No, my profound heat; and yet (by the very fangs of malice I swear) I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house?'"

"'If I do not usurp myself, I am.'"

When it was Serra and Florina's turn, Florina was so quiet, and Serra so loud no one could hear a word Florina was saying, and Ms. Spencer finally switched Florina with Lyn, so it was Serra against Lyn, followed by Florina and Karla and finally Nino and Rebecca.

"Alright class," Ms. Spencer smiled happily at all twenty of her mostly sullen students. "You can leave when the bell rings –"

"It rang fifteen minutes ago!"

"...It did? Oops. Alright then, you can go. When we have class tomorrow, I'll post who's who and we can get started, okay? Have a nice –" the class jumped up and ran. "... -Day. Oh well." Ms. Spencer shrugged and went back to her list.

* * *

"I am so glad to be out of there!" Hector exclaimed when they were out of earshot. 

"Oh, it wasn't that bad," Eliwood grinned.

"Oh yes, it was!"

"Did you guys HEAR Erk and Jaffar reading?" Lyn giggled. "It was like they were having this competition about who was better."

"I'd have to say the winner was Erk, though," Eliwood grinned. "Jaffar just doesn't talk enough PERIOD, and that low voice of his didn't help him."

"Nino thought he did pretty good," Lyn pointed out.

"Yeah, but she also thought Erk did 'pretty good' too, Lyn," Hector said. "Don't ask her which one was better: she couldn't answer in front of them, and if she didn't, they would know who the 'winner' was, and that might just start World War 5."

"Three, Hector. There have only been two." Corrected Eliwood.

"Sez you."

"Sezthe history book."

"Aw, who cares about the history book? Everyone knows half of it is bogus anyway."

"Be nice to the history book Hector," Lyn chided. "You might hurt it's feelings!"

Hector didn't need a retort for that one, he just laughed as Lyn blushed.

* * *

Erk: wow, what a bad cliffhanger 

Whitney: -.-;; go away.

Heath: and that's the end of the first chapter!

Nino: we hope you liked it.

Erk: they'd BETTER. Do you know how much bribing it took to get those guys to agree to participate in this? Whitney: hush, or I'll set you up with Serra.

Erk: you wouldn't dare.

Whitney: try me. I'm trying to be the conqueror of the world, darn it! I can be mean if I have to!

Heath: only towards bugs and your friends.

Erk: is there a difference between the two?

Whitney: only in the fact I can kill bugs, but I can't kill my friends.

Heath: ... do you even HAVE friends?

Whitney: Um... I USED to... I think... now there's just this guy living in my attic.

Erk:... she's cracked.

Hector: only now do you notice.

Erk: shaddup

Whitney: anyway, reviews are appreciated, as are almost anything else. Hopefully we'll live to see you again!


	2. Act One, Scene One: Out the Window

Whitney: Here it is! Chapter Two: Act One, Scene One!

Hector: in the on-going saga of my tortured life...

Heath: Ha, I get to be a STAR...

Nino: hey, that's a spoiler!

Erk and Jaffar: glare at Heath

Lyn: hey, would that count as the two of them co-operating?

Hector: THAT should go down in the history books.

Eliwood: you and the history book...

Whitney: thanks to my reviewers, I love ya!

Erk: you don't even KNOW them!

Serra: We don't own FE, Twelfth Night,

Karla: or that evil "**DOOM**" glare thingy

Whitney: #with french beret and director clackboard#

Erk: Where did you get those?

Whitney: err...

Matthew: #counts gold coins#

Whitney: #clacks board# Act One, Scene One! Let's go!

* * *

Math seemed to be dragging along slower than usual. Trig was boring. So was algebra. And everything else mathematical. So what? He never claimed to be a numbers person. But mandatory math was still a pain. Why couldn't he have gone to one of those other schools that were close by? They didn't have mandatory math. But nooo, he was stuck here. Not that he minded, usually. But math class always made him question coming here.  
  
**CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!**...  
  
Geez, his school was so cheap they couldn't even afford to install a BELL. Instead, they had one little person run around the hallways ringing a cowbell instead. And they were never on time either. They always ran late, but you could hear them coming a mile away. It was a wonder to Hector that none of them had gone deaf yet, but it was only a matter of time.  
  
"Ready for English?" Eliwood grinned as the class trooped out to enjoy a brief respite before the last two classes.  
  
Hector groaned. "I'm never ready for English class. Especially not now."  
  
"I'm excited," Ninian piped up from behind Eliwood. "I hope I get a part."  
  
"I hope so too," Lyn said, looking a little worried. "But I did a little research of the play last night: there are only, like, three female parts in the whole thing."  
  
"There are eight girls, and only three female parts? That's gonna be rough." Hector said.  
  
"Hey Hector, I knew you could count!" Eliwood grinned evilly with his arm around Ninian.  
  
"I really should hurt you for that Eliwood," Hector growled.  
  
"Yeah, you should, but you won't. C'mon, the bells gonna ring soon."  
  
"Yeah, we better move before we get DEAFED from the ringing." Hector grumbled.  
  
"Oh lighten UP Hector. There's nothing wrong with the bell!" Lyn chided him. Hector just rolled his eyes and started walking down the hall.  
  
Like always, Ms. Spencer was late. She came running through the down five minutes after the bell rang, papers falling out of every arm. "I'm sorry class, Fluffy had a breakdown, and I had to copy the parts by hand..."  
  
"How do you copy the play parts from an animal, Ms. Spencer?" Nino asked as Jaffar and Erk glared at each other over her head.  
  
"Oh..." Ms. Spencer blinked. "Fluffy's my computer. He's been acting on the fritz lately... I guess I'll have to send him in for repairs." She sighed.  
  
"..." the class just stared at her.  
  
"She NAMES her computer?" Matthew asked. "Hoo boy."  
  
Hector looked at Eliwood and they both nodded. They had just confirmed what they have both suspected for a long time: Ms. Spencer was just about ready for the loony bin and Happy Hills.  
  
"Anyway, I know you're ALL excited to know who got what parts..." She smiled as some of the girls yelled, "So, here we are. Are you ready?"  
  
"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess..." Hector mumbled.  
  
"C'mon Hector, it can't be that bad!" Matthew leaned over and whispered.  
  
"If I just get an extra part, I'll be fine. If not, I think I just might slit my wrists. Oof!" He exclaimed as Lyn elbowed him. "Ow..."  
  
"Alright!" Ms. Spencer chirped. "Starting off: the male parts. Duke Orsino: Heath."  
  
"All right!" Heath exclaimed, then stuck his tongue out at Hector.  
  
"Shut up Heath, or do you want me to rearrange that face for you?"  
  
"Boys!" Ms. Spencer interrupted them. "Um, Sebastian: Hector."  
  
"**WHAT**?" Hector groaned. "Oh, MAN..."  
  
"What's wrong, you got one of the main parts," Eliwood grinned.  
  
"Shut up Eliwood..."  
  
"Antonio will be played Eliwood."  
  
"Sweet..." Eliwood said, leaning back in his chair.  
  
"Oh, Eliwood, good job!" Ninian exclaimed, giving her boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek. Eliwood winked at her and gave her hand a quick squeeze.  
  
"Wil will play Valentino, and Rath will be Curio." Ms. Spencer continued.  
  
"Yay! I got a part!" Wil grinned, making the "V" sign.  
  
"Sir Toby Belch will be Sain..."  
  
"Wow, typecasting doesn't get any better," Eliwood teased.  
  
"Hey, that hurt," Sain twisted around to look at Eliwood, a hurt look on his face. "So I happen to like girls. What's wrong with that?"  
  
"Nothing. But you take it too far, Sain," Lyn snapped at him.  
  
"Hey, calm down Lyn. We all know he's not about to hit on you again," Eliwood tried to calm the two of them down, but Lyn remained frosty.  
  
"Sir Andrew Aguecheek will be played by Erk..."  
  
"Erk! You got a part in the play!" Nino squealed, giving him a hug. Erk smiled smugly while Jaffar glared daggers and cracked his knuckles. Serra glared from the front of the classroom.  
  
"Malvolio will be played by Jaffar..."  
  
Quite suddenly all the colour went out of his face and he stared at Ms. Spencer with a kind of horror on his face. "...God..."  
  
"Jaffar! You got in too!" Nino was almost bouncing up and down in her seat before giving him a hug too. That seemed to make him feel better as Erk started planning his revenge.  
  
"Feste will be played by Matthew."  
  
"Everybody knows Matt's a fool, but how did Ms. Spencer find out?" Hector asked Eliwood before getting bombarded by crumpled pieces of paper, courtesy of Matthew who was busy ripping pages out of his notebook.  
  
"And Fabian will be played by Kent."  
  
"...Cool?" Kent shrugged.  
  
"You could be a LITTLE more enthusiastic," Lyn muttered.  
  
"Moving on to the girl's parts," Ms. Spencer went on, ignoring the few groans of disappointment from the guys. "Um, Olivia will be played by Lyndis."  
  
"Awesome!" Lyn exclaimed smiling.  
  
"Nino will play Viola."  
  
"That's great Nino! You made it too!" Erk smiled. Jaffar casually put his arm around her while Nino smiled her face off.  
  
"And Maria will be played by Rebecca,"  
  
"Yes!" Rebecca punched the air.  
  
"I never understand why girls always WANT work," Hector muttered.  
  
"Oh grow up Hector," Lyn punched him.  
  
"As for the extra parts, Viola's Sea Captain will be Guy, Oliva's servant will be Florina, the Officers will be Lowen and Karla, the Priest will be Ninian, and the attendants will be Serra and Priscilla. All right, I think that's everyone?" Ms. Spencer asked, looking around as people groaned.  
  
"Whadda ya MEAN I'm just an attendant!?!" Serra wailed. Hector covered his ears. He really needed some reason to get away from her.  
  
"Alright, I think that's everyone. If we have enough time we can go over the first scene..."  
  
**CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG**...  
  
'Goddamn bell...' Hector thought.  
  
"...Or not. Alright everyone, grab a play on your way out, and we'll start Act One Scene One tomorrow straightaway."  
  
"Yeah, so long as your not late, right?" Hector mumbled to himself as he dragged himself towards the pile of papers on the table.  
  
"Ah, it won't be THAT bad Hector," Matthew grinned as he continued to pelt him with paper balls.  
  
"Good thing Hector wasn't Feste," Lyn grinned. "I doubt he can sing very well. I hope you sing Matt, or this thing's gonna be hell."  
  
"What?" Matt gave a wounded look. "You doubt my prowess?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You WOUND me!"  
  
"Get over it Matt."

* * *

#Next Day#  
  
"Wow, If I'd known it was so important they'd cancel math class for us I would have asked to start the play a lot sooner!" Hector grinned as they walked down the hall.  
  
"Remember we probably won't get any breaks though: Ms. Spencer almost always misses the bell." Lyn made a face.  
  
"You'd rather be in math class?"  
  
"W-ell, no, but..."  
  
"Then stop whining!"  
  
"Geez Hector, when did YOU get so involved in the play?"  
  
"As soon as I realized it meant no more math class."  
  
"Only until the play's over though," Eliwood said. "As soon as it is, we have no more English class, and double math."  
  
"Aw crap..."  
  
"Hurry up class!" Ms. Spencer stood at her classroom door, waiting. "I want to get started A.S.A.P!"  
  
"Leave it to Ms. Spacer to wait until now to start remembering when class started," Hector grumbled.  
  
"Geez man, is all you do grumble?" Matthew asked running up.  
  
"No. I also mutter, complain and threaten annoying people. Anything else you want to know Matt?"  
  
"Yeah, how have you managed to avoid Serra for this long?"  
  
"Oh that was simple," Hector waved a hand dismissively. "I simply run away whenever I heard her, and left the school via the windows."  
  
"You went out the WINDOW?!?" Lyn yelled.  
  
"**KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN, WE HAVE CLASSES HERE!!!**" A teachers voice echoed down the hall.  
  
"Yeah. So what? I got Erk to put a ladder outside the classroom."  
  
"How did you get Erk to help you?"  
  
"Well, two ways: one, I said I'd hurt him if he didn't, and two, I threatened to hand him over to Serra if he didn't."  
  
"So basically you threatened him into doing it," Lyn asked, disgusted.  
  
"Well, I also said I'd do the same for him if he ever decided to elope with Nino or needed to get away from Jaffar."  
  
"Boys. You're all so BARBARIC!" Ninian shook her head.  
  
"Come on class! I know you all can't WAIT to get started!" Ms. Spencer's bubbly voice called them from the hall. Hector groaned and followed his friends into the room.  
  
"Does everyone still have their scripts?" Ms. Spencer asked, looking around the room. A few hands went up.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Ms. Spencer, my script went missing from my locker this morning. Can I look on with Nino?" Erk asked, looking hopeful.  
  
"Oh, here's an extra. Do you need on too Heath?" Ms. Spencer asked, ignoring the glare she was getting from Erk, as well as the smug look on Jaffar's face.  
  
"Yeah, mine's gone too for some reason."  
  
"Alright, if everyone's ready, why don't we try the first scene? Orsino, Curio, you're up."  
  
Heath and Rath rose and went to the front of the class. Heath was grinning, but Rath just kept the same look he always did on his face.  
  
"Start boys!"  
  
"Yes Ms. Spencer," Heath said.  
  
Orsino:"_'If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die. That strain again! It had a dying fall; O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound That breathes upon a bank of violets,_'"  
  
"How can he say all the with a straight face?" Hector whispered to Eliwood who shook his head, his eyes a little wide.  
  
Orsino:"-'_But falls into abatement and low price Even in a minute! So full of shapes is fancy That it alone is high fantastical._'"  
  
Rath looked at his paper, silent for a moment before giving a sigh of resignation and beginning:  
  
Curio: "_'Will you go to hunt, my Lord?_'"  
  
Orsino: "_'What, Curio'_?"  
  
Curio: "_'The hart_.'"  
  
Heath sighed theatrically. Orsino:"_'Why, so I do, the noblest that I have. O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first, Methought she purg'd the air of pestilence! That instant was I turn'd into a hart, and my desires like fell and cruel hounds, E'er since pursue me.'"_  
  
Hector groaned. "Lyn, you researched the story, right?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"Does this become a love triangle?"  
  
Lyn grinned slyly. "Nope. More like a love octagon."  
  
"Oh GREAT..."  
  
"Alright, Valentine, get up here!" Ms. Spencer interrupted them as Wil bounced to the front of the class.  
  
"'How now, what news from her?'" Heath snapped  
  
Valentine:"Ah... '_So please my lord, I might not be admitted, but from her handmaiden... do so return this answer:... the element itself, till seven years' heat, shall not behold her face at ample view; ...but like a cloistress she will veiled walk, and... water once a day her chamber round with eye-offending brine; all of this to season a brother's dead love, which... she would keep fresh and lasting in her sad remembrance_.'"  
  
"That was good Wil, but try not to lose your spot, alright?"  
  
"Got it Ms. Spencer."  
  
"Alright, continue."  
  
Heath put a hand over his heart, rolling his eyes skyward looking wistful. Orsino:"_'O, she that hath of that fine frame to pay this debt of love but to a brother, how will she love when the rich golden shaft hath kill'd the flock of all affections else that live in her; when liver, brain and heart, these sovereign thrones, are all supplied and fill'd her sweet perfections with one self king! Away before me to sweet beds of flowers, love-thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers_.'"  
  
"Very good Heath!" Ms. Spencer cried as the class started clapping.  
  
"Two things: how did he do that without stopping, and how does he understand what it means? I don't get it!" Hector complained to Eliwood.  
  
"Like I do? Huh. I dunno, but it seems Shakespeare has a thing for body parts huh? Liver, brain etc..."  
  
"Yeah, really. Now all I gotta do is figure out what this all means..."  
  
"Honestly: Valentine is a messenger, sending a marriage proposal to Olivia. Olivia's brother just died, so she's in mourning, and claims a mourning period for seven years. Orsino says that if she goes into such deep mourning for a brother, image what she'll do for her husband, which he thinks is going to be him. ... What?" Lyn asked when she saw the two boys staring open-mouthed at her. "Oh, c'mon get a clue!"  
  
Hector turned to Eliwood. "How the HELL did she get that?"  
  
Eliwood just shook his head, his mouth still open.

* * *

Erk: that was a kind of abrupt ending. 

Whitney: What? That was Act One, Scene One!

Hector: Where did you get the idea for the cowbells?

Whitney: My school actually has cowbells! I've almost forgotten what it's like to have bells that ring on time, and don't kill your ears as they go by...

Hector: Well thanks for killing MY ears too!

Whitney: oh, lighten up.

Hector: huh.

Whitney: We're still early on in the story, so for the people/person who was worried about pairings... don't be. I am still avaliable to change them, and it doesn't much matter to me. Erk and Serra works, 'cause Nino can't have two. -

Erk: WHAT? You're... you're going to HAND me over to Serra?!? Hector, I'm calling you back on that ladder debt!

Hector: How? There's no way to get out of here.

Erk: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

switch to farm scene, many miles away

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Heath: ... wow, in just three seconds, Erk did what Serra couldn't do in three months. He broke my eardrums.

Erk: sob

Whitney: sorry about the strange way of writing the play, but I thought I should probably write who was speaking actor-wise as well as book-wise. If it seems confusing, I'll post a full casting list at the beginning of each chapter.

Karla: read and review!

Nino: We hoped you liked it!

Erk: sob...


	3. Act One, Scene Two: Saved by the bell

Whitney: OK, let's start with general introductions, why don't we?  
  
Heath: I'm Orsino, Duke of Illyria. I'm in love with Olivia, but she won't marry me.  
  
Hector: #sigh# I guess I'm Sebastian, twin brother to Viola. We were shipwrecked, and I think she's dead. Antonio is my only friend.  
  
Eliwood: Hey! I'm Antonio, sea captain friend of "Sebastian". Um... isn't there a bounty on my head?  
  
Wil: I'm, um... Valentino...  
  
Whitney: that should be VALENTINE, Wil  
  
Wil:... Right, Valentine. I'm one of Orsino's attendants, who are constantly running around trying to get Olivia to marry Orsino.  
  
Rath: ...I'm Curio. One of Orsino's men.  
  
Sain: I, Sain, am Sir Toby Belch, uncle to the beautiful Olivia.  
  
Karla: you're also a drunk, lying trickster who should be hanged.  
  
Sain: you wound be lovely Karla.  
  
Karla: just keep your hands to yourself.  
  
Erk: I'm Sir Andrew Aguecheek. I'm visiting, trying to get Olivia to marry me. I'm not very hopeful about it, though.  
  
Jaffar: ... he's also a wimp.  
  
Erk: hey! I heard that!  
  
Jaffar: ... I am Malvolio... steward of Olivia... I delight in bringing trouble to Toby and his 'friends'... kekekeke...  
  
Matthew: I'm Feste! Clown and joker in the employment of Her Grace Olivia.  
  
Kent: I'm Fabian. A servant. ...Why does this guy even have a name? He's an extra!  
  
Whitney: Just read you're lines!  
  
Lyn: I'm Olivia, Countess of Illyria. Orsino, Andrew, and Malvolio all want to marry me, but I want to marry Cesario. #sigh#  
  
Kent: you DO know Cesario is a girl?  
  
Lyn: That doesn't come in 'til later.  
  
Kent: ...If you say so.  
  
Lyn: be a good servant boy and be quiet Kent.  
  
Kent: ... #glare#  
  
Nino: #bouncy# Hi! I'm playing Viola, a shipwrecked girl who disguises herself as a boy to get employment and falls in love with her employer while trying to get her employer's love to fall in love with HIM. #deep breath# I'm also Sebastian's sister, but I think he's dead.  
  
Hector: not YET I'm not!  
  
Rebecca: #sly grin# I'm Maria, one of Olivia's attendants. I like pulling tricks on the other members of her staff!  
  
Jaffar:...kill...  
  
Rebecca: ...uh... #runs# SAAIIINNN!  
  
Sain: #already running#  
  
Guy: I'm the first of the extras. I play a sea captain for about three seconds, and give Viola some advice. That's about it. Then I play the background people.  
  
Serra: Me 'n' Priscilla are attendants for Orsino and Olivia.  
  
Priscilla: Basically, we're the people who mill around in the background.  
  
Serra: Because SOMEONE can't recognize talent when it BITES HER ON THE NOSE and stuck me in a CHARACTER PART!!!!  
  
All but Serra: #covering ears, ignoring her#  
  
Serra: #screeching# HEY!! PAY ATTENTION!!  
  
Florina: um... I'm a servant... I think...  
  
Karla: I am Officer number one. Beware my blade!  
  
Lowen: -.-;; #backing away# Um... I'm, um, officer number two... um, Karla, can you put that down...?  
  
Ninian: #looking holy# Um, I'm supposed to be a priest... hey, were girls ALLOWED to be priests back then?  
  
Erk: can they be priests NOW?  
  
Ninian: ...  
  
Whitney: Well, I thought Lowen would be a better Officer than priest!  
  
All: ...aha.  
  
Whitney: anyway, here's the shortlist of the cast:

* * *

**Main Characters**: 

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras**: 

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian  
  
Whitney: I changed how I wrote the lines from the play a bit, they're not italicized (sp?) anymore, and I don't put the name of the (shakespeare) character in front. If you liked it the other way, or this way better, let me know. Now! Act One, Scene Two!

* * *

When Ms. Spencer had something she wanted done, she could get it done in surprisingly short time. Just two days after announcing the play, she'd turned the gym stage into an auditorium, and was running her acting class ragged.  
  
"Why... didn't I decide to join the visual arts class? All they do is sit around and draw pictures... It couldn't be worse than this." Hector whined, dragging himself down to the gym, play in hand.  
  
"Really. I heard their latest project was to draw flowers. How much easier does it get?" Eliwood moaned.  
  
"Hurry up you two!" Lyn called. She was already in the doorway, waving at them. "Ms. Spencer's already here!"  
  
"Oh Man..." Hector groaned, hanging his head. "Why can't she be late the way she used to be?"  
  
"Alright class, hurry up!" Ms. Spencer snapped. She was standing at the front of the room, wearing what looked like a smock from the art room.  
  
"Tell me she's not serious." Hector demanded, looking wide-eyed at the teacher. "Is that a bullhorn she's holding?"  
  
"...Shoot me. Now." Eliwood commanded as they took their places in the seats facing the stage.  
  
"OK. Today we're going to go over Act One, Scene Two. Viola, Captain, and extras, get up here now!"  
  
Nino, Guy, and the extras (Lowen, Karla, Serra, Priscilla and Ninian) got up and walked to the stage. There was then a few minutes of yawning and chattering among the rest of the cast/class while Ms. Spencer arranged and re- arranged the extras and main character to her liking. Finally content she raised the bullhorn and shouted; "Act One, Scene Two. Begin!"  
  
"Ow..." Hector muttered, rubbing his ears. "I don't know what's worse. The kids with the bells, or the teacher with the bullhorn."  
  
"Who gave her permission to come into the school with that thing anyway?" Lyn demanded.  
  
"Um..." Nino scanned the page, looking for her lines. "Oh! OK... 'What country, friends, is this?'"  
  
Guy paused. "'This... is Illyria, lady.'"  
  
"More feeling boys and girls!" Ms. Spencer interrupted with her bullhorn. Several people winced, but it got everyone's attention.  
  
Nino thought for a moment, then put on an air of worry, which was quite convincing. Too convincing for Hector, who thought at least some of it was real. "'And what should I do in Illyria?'" She looked at Guy with big eyes. "'My brother he is in Elysium. Perchance he is not drown'd – what think you, sailors?'"  
  
Guy seemed speechless for a second, and he stole a quick glance into the audience. Swallowing hard, he looked for his lost place. "Er – 'It is perchance that you yourself were saved.'"  
  
"'O my poor brother!'" Nino wailed, startling more than a few people who hadn't been paying attention. "'And so perchance may he be.'"  
  
"'True, madam; and, to comfort you with chance, ass'... asshure... um..."  
  
"Assure, Guy!"  
  
"Right - 'assure yourself, after our ship did split, Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brother, Most provident in peril, bind himself (courage and hope both teaching him the practice) to a strong mast that liv'd upon the sea; Where, like Arion on the dolphin's back, I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves so long as I could see.'"  
  
"'For saying so, there's gold,'" Nino told him, pretending to press gold coins into Guy's hands. Hector nudged Eliwood and pointed to Jaffar and Erk, both of whom where clenching their fists. "'Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope, whereto thy speech serves for authority-'"  
  
"What the hell is she talking about?" Hector groaned, leaning back. "I do NOT get this Shakespeare stuff. Why don't we shove it in the history books and leave it there to rot?"  
  
"Be NICE Hector! Nino's doing a good job." Lyn hissed.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, real good job. But I still don't get it."  
  
"You're HOPELESS! Listen: Viola just got shipwrecked, OK? She's talking to a sea captain about her brother, who may or may not be dead. He just said there was hope for her brother, but can't be sure. She's so happy she's paying him for the news. Capeesh?" Lyn eyed him sharply.  
  
"Capeesh," Hector mumbled.  
  
"Good."  
  
"'- The like of him. Know'st thou this country?'" Nino asked, continuing.  
  
"'Ay, madam,'" Guy answered forcefully, pointing to some random point behind him. "'Well, for I was bred and born not three hours' travel from this very place.'"  
  
"'Who governs here?'" Nino asked.  
  
"'A noble Duke,'" Guy nodded vigorously. Hector was surprised his head didn't come off, the way his braid was whipping around. "'In nature as in name.'"  
  
"'What is his name?'"  
  
"'Orsino.'"  
  
"'Orsino!'" Nino reacted with far more vigour than was needed, and almost fell over. "Whoops! Er... 'I have heard of my father name him. He was a bachelor then.'"  
  
Both Erk and Jaffar's heads snapped around to glare at a now very nervous Heath.  
  
"'And so is now,'" Guy sighed. "'Or was so very late; but for a month ago I went from hence, and then 'twas fresh in murmur (as you know what great ones do, the less will prattle of) that he did seek the love of fair Olivia.'"  
  
"...Hey Lyn, care to translate that?"  
  
"EERGH! Hector! He's simply saying that this is his home, and when he was here recently the ruler was unmarried. There was also a rumour that the Duke was trying to marry 'fair Olivia'. ME!"  
  
"Thanks, Lyn. I think."  
  
"Uh..." Nino looked at her paper with a quizzical look. "'What's she?'"  
  
Guy looked equally confused but shrugged and continued. "'A virtuous main, the daughter of a count that died some twelvemonth since; then leaving her in the protection of his son, her brother, who shortly also died; for whose dear love, they say, she hath abjured the company and sight of men.'"  
  
"'O that I serv'd that lady, and might not be delivered to the world, till I had made mine own occasion mellow, what my estate is!'" Nino cried.  
  
"'That were hard to compass, because she will admit no kind of suit; no, not the Duke's.'"  
  
Nino looked at her page then took a deep breath. "'There is a fair behaviour in thee, captain, and though that nature with a beauteous wall doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee I will believe thou hast a mind that suits with this thy fair and outward character. I prithee (and I'll pay thee bounteously) conceal me what I am, and be my aid for such a disguise as haply shall become the form of my intent. I'll serve this duke. Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him, it may be worth thy pains; for I can sing and speak to him in many sorts of music that will allow me very worth his service. What else may hap, to time I will commit; only shape thou thy silence to my wit.' Phew..."  
  
"Man, that's gonna be tough to follow," Guy raised an eyebrow looking at his paper. "Hmm... 'Be you this eunuch, and your mute I'll be; when my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see.' Eesh..."  
  
"'I thank thee.'" Nino bowed to Guy, who hastily copied her. "'Lead me on!' ...Are we done?" Nino asked, turned to the teacher.  
  
"Yes, well done! There are some rough spots to iron out, but we'll get to that. OK, third act –"  
  
CLANG CLANG CLANG –  
  
"Bloody bell! Alright, recess. But be back here in TEN minutes!"  
  
There was very nearly a stampede to get out of the gym so they could enjoy the few minutes of freedom they had. Hector and Eliwood pushed their way through to their lockers, and Hector was soon rummaging through his backpack looking for change he could use to by something from the vending machine.  
  
"I SWEAR, it's no fair! I'm only an extra!" Serra's unmistakable voice cut through the other conversations in the hallway. Hector froze and looked up. Serra was the last person he wanted to see right now: she was trying to finalize their 'date' and he was hard pressed to avoid her. Glancing over his shoulder he saw the bathroom. Good, if she saw he, he could just duck in there. She wouldn't dare follow him in there.  
  
"Awesome! Change!" he exclaimed, pulling a toonie out of his bag.  
  
(A/N Ok, I'm a Canadian. For those of you who don't know what a toonie is, it's a two dollar coin. Worth about 1.65 American)  
  
"Hey, Eliwood, come with me to the vending machine."  
  
"Hang on a sec, Hector. I know I had it earlier..." Eliwood grumbled, rooting through his bag.  
  
"What've you lost now Eliwood?" Ninian asked, coming up to them.  
  
"I can't find my wallet. I'm sure I had it earlier..."  
  
"Have you tried asking the class kleptomaniac?" Hector asked.  
  
"Hector!" Ninian cried. "That's not a nice way to put it!"  
  
"...So?"  
  
"HECTOR!"  
  
"Alright, FINE, sor-ry! Geez..."  
  
"What, you mean Matt?"  
  
"'Course!" Hector waved his hand dismissively. "And if it wasn't him, he'll know who did it. And, of course, there's always the chance you dropped it. You've done that often enough." Ninian giggled as Eliwood blushed.  
  
"Now I know why I keep you guys as friends; you're always SO supportive, y'know?"  
  
"Get over it Eliwood. And while you're at it;" Hector grinned as he turned to head towards the vending machine. "Check you're back pocket. There seems to be something in it." Then he walked towards the vending machine leaving Eliwood to swear before running to catch up.  
  
"You always were a klutz."  
  
"Look who's talking."  
  
"You are."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Face it, Eliwood, you weren't meant to crack insults."  
  
"Jerk."  
  
"Ow! The PAIN!" Hector howled in mock pain, which turned into real pain as Eliwood shoved him down the last three stairs. "HEY!"  
  
Eliwood leaned on the rail. "Ha! Got'cha!"  
  
"Why you-!"  
  
"Aw, CRAP. The bells gonna ring soon!" Eliwood yelled, running down the stairs.  
  
"Hey!" Hector yelled, pounding down the stairs after him. "I... am... going... to kill him... for that..." he growled.  
  
"Kill who for what?" Lyn paused from coming up the stairs.  
  
"Eliwood, for pushing me!" Hector yelled as he rushed past Lyn.  
  
"...Boys." She shook her head and continued climbing the stairs.  
  
"Hey Hector," Eliwood grinned when Hector finally reached the vending machine. "What kept ya?"  
  
"Oh, nothing. Just a double crossing friend is all." Hector growled at him as he selected the chips he wanted. They came out with a loud clang, followed by clanking of his change. Eliwood laughed.  
  
"C'mon, bells gonna ring soon."  
  
"Well, we can't have food in the 'gym', so I guess I'll have to go back to my locker. Damn," he made a face. "I hope Serra's gone by now..."  
  
"Eh, I hope so," Eliwood rubbed one of his ears. "I think just being in her general vicinity cracks my eardrums."  
  
"Amen," Hector said, starting to climb the stairs. "Well, c'mon, it's our scene next."  
  
"I know. Isn't it great?"  
  
"...No."  
  
"Grow up Hector."  
  
"HECTOR!"  
  
"Oh crap, no..."  
  
"THERE you are!" Serra practically pounced on him from the top of the stairs.  
  
"Uh... hi Serra..." Hector said, trying to push her off.  
  
"OK, reservations are for 6 two days from now, at Il Mercado – "  
  
"WHAT?!?"  
  
"And be sure to bring extra money, because there's a film I want to see afterwards, and then," she kept prattling on.  
  
"God, I am dead..." Hector moaned.  
  
CLANG CLANG CLANG...  
  
"Saved by the bell," he sighed as the bell ringing ran down the stairs. "See you in class, Serra," he said, dumping her down and running, Eliwood right behind him.  
  
"What are you gonna do about her?" Eliwood asked.  
  
"Hm... d'you think I could get Erk to believe that I was acting as a go-between for him and Nino, and that she wanted to meet him at Il Mercado, but instead send him to Serra?"  
  
"No. I don't."  
  
"Damn. How about if I got one of the girls to do it for me?"  
  
"...That could work..."  
  
"Which one though?"  
  
"How about Priscilla or Rebecca? They might agree?"  
  
"Do you think Ninian or Florina would work? They're both quiet and won't go blabbering all over the place."  
  
"Maybe Lyn?"  
  
"Or Karla. That just about covers all the girls in our class!" Hector groaned as they reached the gym doors. "OK, I'll have to figure it out soon. I've got what, two days? Two days to convince Erk the stubborn. This is SO not gonna be pretty..." 

* * *

Heath: ...wow. What a weak attempt at a cliffhanger.  
  
Whitney:... shut up.  
  
Heath: yes'm!  
  
Whitney: I apologize for any and all spelling mistakes. I miss half of them. Oops.  
  
Nino: #holding copy of the rules# It says here you're not allowed to have spelling mistakes.  
  
Whitney: #takes rules from Nino and burns them# ...Ok, anything else?  
  
Hector: Yeah, which girl am I gonna trick Erk with? It can't be Nino or Serra, so that leaves... Lyn, Karla, Priscilla, Rebecca, Ninian or Florina.  
  
Whitney: um... I'll try to figure it out for next time. -.-;;  
  
Heath: SUUUUURE you will.  
  
Florina: Um... we hope you enjoy today's act..  
  
Matthew: Short as it was.  
  
Florina: ...read and review, and we'll update soon! 


	4. Act One, Scene 3 and 4: The Setup

Whitney: I'm baaa-ack!  
  
Erk: Yippee  
  
Whitney: -.-;; shaddup  
  
Heath: On our next instalment of Shakespeare and Hector...  
  
Hector: KEEP ME OUTTA THIS!!  
  
Whitney: too late.  
  
Hector: NOOOOO!!!  
  
Serra: I want my date!  
  
Whitney: you'll get it, don't worry...  
  
Erk: Please tell me I am not going to be gullible enough to fall for Hector's scheme...  
  
Whitney: Heath?  
  
Heath: You're going to be gullible.  
  
Erk: NOOOOOOOO!!  
  
Whitney: well, I didn't tell you. Anyway –  
  
Erk: NOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Whitney: Today on Twelfth Night –  
  
Erk: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Whitney: We have Sain, Rebecca –  
  
Erk: NOOO-  
  
Hector: #WHAM!#  
  
Erk: #KO#  
  
Whitney: ...and Erk.  
  
Karla: I hope he has an understudy.  
  
Whitney:... er... Anyway! Let us begin!

* * *

**::CAST::**

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina O

fficers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

"What are you doing?" Lyn asked, staring at the two boys, slumped as low as they could go in their chairs.  
  
"Is Serra in here yet?" Hector hissed.  
  
"Uh... Yeah, she's sitting near by the back. Sulking, like always. Why?"  
  
"Oh.., uh, no reason," Hector said, straightening up.  
  
"Suuuuuure..." Lyn raised an eyebrow before sitting down beside Hector.  
  
"Um... Hey, Lyn, could you do me a favour?" Hector asked, looking around nervously. Erk and Jaffar were still glaring daggers at each other, but they were on the other side of the room. Nino was talking with Rebecca and Ninian, near the doorway. Ms. Spencer was late, like usual.  
  
"Like what?" Lyn asked, noticing Eliwood's raised eyebrows and Hector's nervousness.  
  
"Well... you remember Serra making me take her on the date?"  
  
"Yea, 'course. I still can't believe you did that though."  
  
"Quit laughing. You've never done something stupid?"  
  
"I became friends with you."  
  
"...Thanks, Lyn."  
  
"No problem. Now, what was the favour?"  
  
"OK," Hector took a deep breath. "Remember how Serra likes Erk?"  
  
"Y-eah... but what does this have to do with you-?"  
  
"I'm GETTING to that! Erk would never believe me, but... do you think you could get him to believe that Nino wants to meet him for dinner? At the place were Serra wants to meet me?"  
  
"... You mean send Erk in you're place, but tell him it's with Nino, not Serra."  
  
"Right."  
  
"... You're nuts."  
  
"So you noticed."  
  
Lyn shook her head. "I don't think it'll work."  
  
"It's worth a try! Anything's better than a date with Serra!" Hector looked furtively over his shoulder. "...Hey. Where'd Eliwood go?"  
  
"Huh?" Lyn leaned over, looking at Eliwood's empty chair. "What- Oh. He's over there, talking to Ninian." Lyn sat back down looking at Hector.  
  
"Is he in on your little plan?"  
  
"Yeah. It was his idea to use one of the girls."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Well... indirectly."  
  
Lyn sighed. "You're hopeless."  
  
"You've told me. Over and over and over and over and-"  
  
"I get the picture!" Lyn snapped.  
  
"Hey Hector, Lyn" Eliwood greeted his friends as he sat down, Ninian taking the empty chair on the other side of Eliwood.  
  
"Did you tell her?" He asked Hector, nodding in Lyn's direction.  
  
"Yeah," Hector answered glumly. "I think the answer was no."  
  
"Hector, putting Erk on a date with Serra is just as much torture for him as it is for you –"  
  
"But I think Erk likes Serra," Ninian smiled. "Or, at least he did in Jr. High."  
  
"Really?" Hector asked, surprised.  
  
"Yeah," Ninian giggled. "He didn't dare admit it though. The guys teased him enough as it was, he didn't need more because he liked the class loudmouth. I think Serra found out though: it was in Jr.High that she started chasing him... well, if you want to call it chasing."  
  
"Wow. I didn't know they went to the same Jr. High. You must have gone to the same one as them, Ninian?" Lyn asked.  
  
Ninian nodded. "Yeah. I was a transfer student in the last year of Junior High."  
  
Eliwood smiled. "If Lyn won't do it, I think Ninian will."  
  
Hector stared opened mouth for a second, then smiled. "Really?"  
  
Ninian smiled. "Sure. Besides," she gestured towards Jaffar and Erk. "We need to separate those two before they start another world war over Nino. We really don't need two friends trying to murder each other, you know?"  
  
Hector was still staring with his mouth open. Lyn elbowed him hard in the back, and Eliwood was trying very hard not to smirk. Hector was trying to think of something to say when Ms. Spencer came sweeping in to the room. No one noticed the sweeping part, but everyone saw when she tripped over a chair and sprawled on her face. The noise of the chairs was more than enough to get everyone's attention.  
  
"Oof! Alright –ouch- class, time to go over –thank you, Priscilla – Act One, Scene Three. Um... Rebecca and Sain, you two are up, Erk, be ready on cue."  
  
Rebecca and Sain got up to the front and stood on the stage facing each other. Sain had a silly grin on his face, and Rebecca was trying to act like she didn't notice. She kept fidgeting, though, so everybody knew SOMETHING was up.  
  
Sain took a deep breath and struck what he thought was a heroic pose as he read the lines. He didn't even look at the script in his hand. "'What a plague means my niece to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemy to life.'"  
  
"Don't tell me he-he actually memorized that," Lyn said, trying not to laugh. The pose Sain had assumed had at least half the class tittering, but they were trying to keep it quiet. Rebecca was having a hard time though. She had her script covering her face, and was shaking so hard the paper rattled.  
  
"Maria! Your lines!" Ms. Spencer called.  
  
"Y-yes m-m'am." Rebecca giggled. "B-By my t-tr-troth, Sir T-Toby, you must c-come in earlier o'... o'..." Rebecca gave up at that point and burst into hysterical giggles, which set the rest of the class off as well. Ms. Spencer looked around with wide eyes as everyone – excluding Sain – laughed.  
  
"Enough!" Ms. Spencer clapped her hands, trying to restore order. Finally she resorted to the bullhorn she kept under her seat. "CLASS!"  
  
The general noise subsided, but a few infectious giggles could still be heard. Sain stood on the stage looking at Rebecca who was on her knees laughing. She bit her lip to stop and stood up when Ms. Spencer used the bullhorn. She seemed reasonably under control now.  
  
"Try that again, Rebecca!" Ms. Spencer snapped.  
  
"Wow, looks like she's in a bad mood," Hector commented.  
  
"I wonder why. She's usually in a good mood," Ninian wondered, eyebrows raised.  
  
"'B-By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier, o' nights. Y-Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.'" Rebecca managed to keep from laughing, but only just.  
  
"'Why, let her except, before excepted!'" Sain cried, trying to re-assume the pose of a heroic man.  
  
"Doesn't he know he's supposed to be a drunkard?" Lyn leaned over and whispered.  
  
"You'd think so, since he memorized him lines," Hector returned.  
  
"'Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.'" Rebecca was starting to giggle again, and Hector couldn't blame her.  
  
"'Confine?'" Sain looked shocked. "'I'll confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too; and they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.'"  
  
"'That quaffing and drinking will undo you. I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of that foolish knight that you brought in one night to be her wooer.'"  
  
"'Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?'"  
  
"I still can't believe he's memorized all that, but can't remember half of him homework assignments, even with them written down for him." Lyn shook her head  
  
"Same could be said about his memory for girls names, opposed to the names of the first ten periodic elements," Hector shrugged. "If it gives him a chance to show off, he'll do it, regardless of anything else."  
  
"That's true, I guess..." Lyn conceded.  
  
"'Ay, he.'" Rebecca sighed at Sain.  
  
"Looks like she's finally done laughing and starting to get into it, huh?"  
  
"Looks like it," Eliwood nodded.  
  
"'He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.'"  
  
"'What's that to the purpose?'"  
  
"'Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.'"  
  
"'Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats. He's a very fool and a prodigal.'" Rebecca said haughtily.  
  
"'Fie, that you'll say so! He plays o' the viol-de- gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.'"  
  
"What the hell is a viol-de-gamboys?" Hector stared at his paper.  
  
"Uh... for once I have no idea. Eliwood?" Lyn looked across Hector to Eliwood, who just shook his head.  
  
"'He hath indeed,'" Rebecca replied scathingly. "'almost natural; for besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.'"  
  
"'By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?'"  
  
"'They add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.'"  
  
Sain waved his hand dismissively. "'With drinking healths to my niece. I'll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and a drink in Illyria. He's a coward and coystrill that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo! For here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.'"  
  
"Hey... isn't it supposed to be Aguecheek?" Hector looked at his paper.  
  
"Well, he's drunk, right?" Eliwood said, also looking over his paper. "Is he supposed to screw up?"  
  
"He must be. Sain wouldn't memorize that wrong." Lyn said, equally puzzled as the two boys.  
  
"ERK! Stop staring at Jaffar and get up there!" Ms. Spencer yelled with her bullhorn. There were a few laughs from students as Erk, red-faced, rose and went to the stage.  
  
"Uh... where are we?"  
  
"Weren't you paying ATTENTION?" Ms. Spencer asked acidly.  
  
"No."  
  
Ms. Spencer held her head and sighed. "I need aspirin... We're on page 5, 'enter Sir Andrew.' Got it?"  
  
"Yes. 'Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch?'" Erk said, quite without enthusiasm.  
  
"'Sweet Sir Andrew!'"  
  
"And... 'Bless you,... fair shrew.'" Erk nodded weakly at Rebecca, who curtsied.  
  
"'And you too, sir.'"  
  
"'Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.'" Sain cried to Erk, who looked at Sain like he'd lost his mind.  
  
"What the f- er... 'What's that?'"  
  
"'My niece's chambermaid.'" Sain grinned.  
  
"'Good mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.' What the hell?" Erk muttered. "This guy's a bleeding idiot."  
  
"'My name is Mary, sir.'" Rebecca smiled sweetly.  
  
"'Good Mistress Mary Accost-'" Erk turned bright red from the titters of classmates. He was one of the smartest students, and here he was, playing the play's greatest idiot.  
  
"'You mistake, knight. "Accost" is front her, board her, woo her, assail her,'" Sain grinned.  
  
"'By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of 'accost'?'" Erk's eye was starting to twitch.  
  
"'Fare you well, gentlemen," Rebecca smiled falsely.  
  
"'And thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.'"  
  
"'An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?'" Erk looked like he was about to have a seizure.  
  
"'Marry, but you shall have-and here's my hand,'" Sain bowed with a flourish, offering Rebecca his hand with a smile.  
  
"'Now, sire, thought is free,'" Rebecca said, backing away. "'I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.'"  
  
"Wherefore, swe- SWEETHEART?!?'" Erk's eyes went wide and his head drooped. "God, I'm going to get my teased to death. 'What's your metaphor?'" he finished with a small sob.  
  
"'It's dry sir.'"  
  
"'Why, I think so. I am not such an ass but I can keep my hand dry. But what's your jest?'" Erk said, eye twitching.  
  
"'A dry jest sir.'"  
  
"'Are you full of them?'" Erk asked.  
  
"'Ay, sir. I have them at my fingers' ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.'" Rebecca bowed and left.  
  
Hector turned to Lyn. "Did you get that?"  
  
"Uh... Maria thinks that Andrew is an ass, a bore, and foolish, but Toby thinks he's perfect for Olivia, his niece. Um...Andrew keeps making a fool of himself by making mistakes with Maria's name, and she's disgusted because what she thinks is more or less justified for her." Lyn wrinkled her nose. "I didn't get all the details, but that's the gist."  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
"What? No thanks?" Lyn demanded.  
  
"Thanks Lyn," Eliwood and Hector chorused.  
  
"Your welcome," Lyn said smugly, settling back in her seat.  
  
"'O knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?'" Sain queried.  
  
"'Never in your life, I think,'" Erk sighed. "'unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man gad; but I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.'"  
  
"'No question,'" Sain agreed.  
  
"'An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride home to- morrow, Sir Toby.'"  
  
"'Pourquoi, my dear knight?'" Sain asked, looking like he didn't REALLY care.  
  
"'What is 'pourquoi'?'" Erk asked, rolling his eyes skyward. "'Do or do not do? I would I had bestow'd that time in the tongues that I had in fencing, dancing, or bear- baiting. O, had I but follow'd the arts!'"  
  
"'Then hadst though had an excellent head of hair.'"  
  
"'Why, would that have mended my hair?'" Erk rolled his eyes.  
  
"'Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.'"  
  
"'But it becomes me well enough, does't not?'"  
  
"'Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.'" Sain scoffed.  
  
"Ms. Spencerrrr..." Erk turned to the teacher. "Can we skip this? The entire thing is nonsense!"  
  
Ms. Spencer flipped over the script. "Fine. But next time I expect to hear more feeling in your voice, Erk, and be prepared to dance during this scene, or I'll flunk you."  
  
"Yes Ms. Spencer," Erk ground his teeth together.  
  
"Fine, you can come down now. Viola and Valentine, you're up, Orsino, Curio, and attendants, you're on standby."  
  
Wil and Nino got up on the stage, while Heath, Rath, Serra and Priscilla moved closer.  
  
"'If the Duke continue these favours towards you, Cesario, you are like to be much advanc'd; he hath known you but three days, and already you are no stranger.'" Wil, who just earlier had been slow in reading his lines, was now reading so fast people stared open-mouthed and more than one person wailed about him going too fast.  
  
"'You either fear his humour or my negligence, that you call in question the continuance of his love. Is he inconsistent, sir, in his favours?'" Nino looked at him with wide eyes.  
  
"'No, believe me.'" Wil answered as Heath, Rath, and the two girls came walking onto the stage.  
  
"'I thank you. Here comes the Count.'" Nino nodded to Wil.  
  
"'Who saw Cesario, ho?'" Heath asked, addressing Nino. From the seats, Jaffar and Erk glared.  
  
"'On your attendance, my lord, here.'" Nino said, bowing to Heath.  
  
"'Stand you a while aloof, Cesario, thou know'st no less but all. I have unclasp'd to thee the book even of my secret soul. Therefore, good youth, address thy gait unto her, be not denied access, stand at her doors, and tell them, there thy fixed foot shall grow till thou have audience.'" Heath commanded in a strong voice. Several girls behind Hector giggled and whispered.  
  
"'Sure, my noble lord, if she be so abandon'd to her sorrow as it is spoke, she never will admit me.'"  
  
"'Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds rather than make unprofited return.'" Heath nodded.  
  
"'Say I do speak with her, my lord, what then?"" Nino asked, always the innocent.  
  
"'O, then unfold the passion of my love, surprise her with discourse of my dear faith; it shall become thee well to act my woes: she will attend it better in thy youth than in a nuntio's of more grave aspect.'"  
  
"'I think not so, my lord.'" Nino disagreed.  
  
"'Dear lad, believe it; for they shall yet belie thy happy years, that say thou art a man. Diana's lip is not more smooth and rubious; thy small pipe is as the maiden's organ, shrill and sound, and all is semblative a woman's part. I know thy constellation is right apt for this affair. Some for or five attend him – all, if you will; for I myself am best when least in company. Prosper well in this, and thou shalt live as freely as thy lord, to call his fortunes thine.'" Heath said patronizingly , then praising Nino. Even though it was in the script, Jaffar was glaring sharp daggers at the back of Heath's head.  
  
"'I'll do my best to woo your lady,'" Nino nodded, then turned her back on Heath. "'Yet, a barful strife! Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.'"  
  
"Very good!" Ms.Spencer nodded. Alright, you're all free to go. Let's try and do two again tomorrow, alright?"  
  
"Yes Ms. Spencer!" The class yelled as they stampeded for the door.  
"Hey, Ninian," Hector called as Ninian walked ahead with Eliwood. They both stopped and allowed Hector to catch up.  
  
"Hey Hector," Eliwood greeted as Ninian nodded.  
  
"Ninian, are you going to do it?" Hector asked, nervous.  
  
Ninian nodded. "Yeah. What were the dates? I'll talk to him now. You'll have to talk to Serra though: she'll probably want to be picked up. Get her to meet you there, or everything's screwed. 'Kay?"  
  
"You got it," Hector nodded in relief. "The dates set for two days from now, at 6, at Il Mercado."  
  
"Saturday at six?" Ninian thought for a moment, then nodded. "Alright. Eliwood, help Hector find Serra. I don't need you hanging around right now. He might suspect something."  
  
"Alright. I'll meet you by your locker then," Eliwood said, not looking all that happy about it. Ninian nodded, and walked off towards Nino's locker, where Jaffar and Erk inevitably were.  
  
"Come on," Hector sighed. "I might as well find Serra now so I can get this over with."  
  
"'Kay, let's go." Eliwood agreed.  
  
It took them about five minutes to find Serra, talking with Lyn and Priscilla. "Shit..." Hector muttered. "Do you think Lyn'll keep her mouth shut? Or – "  
  
"Hey, Lyn is Lyn. She'll keep her mouth shut, don't worry." Eliwood grinned. Stop worrying, Hector."  
  
"Alright, alright," Hector grumbled. "Let's go."  
  
"Hey, Serra," Hector called when they got close to the group. Serra turned and smiled.  
  
"Hector! There you are! I have some more plans about what to do Saturday – "  
  
"Yeah, about that," Hector interrupted her. "Serra, do you think you could MEET me there?"  
  
"Why?" Serra shrieked.  
  
Hector winced/ "My car's in the shop. It won't be ready until 5:30 Saturday, and it might take longer. I wouldn't want to miss the reservation, so if I am late, wouldn't it be a good idea to meet you there?"  
  
Serra thought about that for a moment. "Yeah, I guess you're right," She smiled maliciously. "But you owe me for meeting you there!"  
  
"He'll buy you flowers. How's that, Serra?" Eliwood offered.  
  
"Yeah, OK! I like that! I looooooove roses, Hector, I want a dozen red ones, alright! Long stemmed, all wrapped up, oooh, maybe a corsage too? Alright? Alright!"  
  
"See you then, Serra!" Hector said, almost grinding his teeth.  
  
"That wasn't so bad, now was it Hector?" Eliwood grinned as they walked away.

* * *

Whitney: And that's the end of this episode! 

Heath: Hey, you did two scenes in this one!

Whitney: Yeah, well, I took a break so I felt I owed 'em. Plus, if I did one chapter per scene, we'd be here for a LOOONG time.

Heath: that's true.

Erk: You hate me, don'tcha?

Whitney: what gives you that idea?

Erk: Oh, NOTHING. Just EVERYTHING!

Whitney: Get over it.

Erk: #sob#

Karla: Anyone seen my brother? I'm looking for him.

Whitney: Er... maybe I can bring him in later?

Erk: Why not make him the new math teacher?

Whitney:... or English teacher...

Erk: Sweet Elimine, NO!

Heath: We'll all die!!

Whitney: How about Wallace then?

Wil: Excuse me, I think I'll go jump off a cliff.

Whitney: Anyway! Hope you enjoyed it, sorry 'bout the break, see you tomorrow or something close to that.

Jaffar: ... ... ...

Nino: Jaffar says "we hope you enjoyed it, and please review!"

Jaffar: ...


	5. Act One, Scene 5: Appocalypse is Approac...

Whitney: and after another break, I'm baaa-ack!

Erk: Darn. We were all hoping you would STAY AWAY

Whitney: Just for that, I am making your date with Serra a prolonged event. I might even switch my 'character point of view' for a chapter or two, JUST to spite you.

Erk: ...I hate you.

Whitney: good, I'm so glad.

Erk: ...

Whitney: Anyway. If there are any mistakes in this chapter, I'm blaming it on how long it is. Act one, Scene five is a really, really, really long scene. I was thinking about doing two again, but I think my eyeballs are about to be burned out of their sockets. If you could see how bad my typing is right now -

Heath: She keeps erasing it to make it look nice.

Whitney: -you'd agree

Nino: what DOES your typing look like right now?

Whitneu: without erasing the msitakes? Something close to thinks, only worse because i kwwp backspance ing my acciendey.

#translation: Whitney: without erasing the mistakes? Something close to this, only worse because I keep backspacing by accident.#

Heath: wow.

Erk: Maybe you shouldn't write anymore today?

Whitney: yeah, good thing it's already writting.

Erk:...darn...

Whitney: on with act one, scene five, the terribly long, frustrating, and probably not very funny chapter!

* * *

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath T

oby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras: **

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

English/Drama class was first thing that morning, instead of after lunch. The so-dubbed "Shakespeare Students" class milled around outside their lockers and homeroom, waiting for the annoying little kid with the bell to do his morning lap around the building, bringing ear problems and hearing loss to every student he passed.  
  
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!...  
  
"I swear," Hector muttered as the little kid scurried wil-nil around the halls, "I am going to take that bell and throw it into a deep lake one day. And maybe send the little kid along with it."  
  
"I sure hope you don't," Ninian said severely. "That's my little brother, Nils."  
  
"You have a brother?"  
  
"I just said I did, didn't I?"  
  
"Damn," Hector sighed. "I guess that kills that idea."  
  
"C'mon guys," Lyn chided. "The bells rung! We need to get to the gym!"  
  
"No, we don't," Hector growled. "Maybe I'll just skip today. What can she do about it?"  
  
"Flunk you?"  
  
"Thank you, Eliwood. I KNEW I could count on you to make me feel better."  
  
"You're always welcome, Hector."  
  
"#%"  
  
"Hector! Watch your language!"  
  
"Grr..."  
  
"Just come ON!" Lyn snapped at him.  
  
"Fine, fine," He rolled his eyes skyward. "Noisy, annoying, green- haired WITCH – "  
"WHAT did you just call me?!?!"  
  
"Uh, Nothing..."  
  
"Like fun, you – "  
  
"CALM DOWN!" Eliwood yelled, stopping both Lyndis and Hector in their advancement on each other. "Act like you're at LEAST 13, guys. Right now, you're both acting like you belong in PRESCHOOL. Now let's go, before we're really late." Hector and Lyn followed Eliwood, glaring at each other as they did. Eliwood sighed.  
  
"Maria, Clown. Get up there!" Ms. Spencer's attitude hadn't improved since the last class, and her students moved when she shouted. It was obvious if they didn't they'd be in more trouble than they were right now, and they'd rather avoid that, if possible. Another class had once gotten on her bad side, and they'd all been afraid of their shadows for months afterwards.  
  
Rebecca and Matthew climbed up onto the stage and stood facing each other. Rebecca looked a little more nervous than last time, probably because it'd been her laughter that had gotten Ms. Spencer into her bad mood in the first place. Matthew gave her an encouraging smile and nodded at her to start.  
  
"'Nay, either tell me where –'" She broke off to look nervously at Ms. Spencer. "'T-thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse. M-My lady will hang thee for thy absence.'"  
  
"'Let her hang me,'" Matthew said in an off-hand manner, like it didn't matter to him on bit. And it probably didn't: he'd already read to the end and knew he'd survive. "'He that is well hang'd in this world needs to fear no colours.'"  
  
"'Make that good.'" Rebecca replied tartly.  
  
"'He shall see none to fear.'"  
  
"'A good Lenten answer. I can tell thee where that saying was born, of "I fear no colours".'"  
  
"'Where, good Mistress Mary?'"  
  
"Why does everyone call her 'Mary', when it says her name is MARIA?" Hector complained quietly.  
  
"A nickname?" Eliwood suggested.  
  
"I didn't know they were allowed to use nicknames in a royal house." He replied sourly.  
  
"Well, I've never been to a royal house. If I ever DO get to go, I'll let you know about it."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"'In the wars,'" Rebecca was continuing. "'and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.'"  
  
"'Well, God gave them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.'" Matthew grinned impishly.  
  
Rebecca, who needed to be serious, was having trouble keeping a straight face. "'Yet you will be hang'd for being so long absent, or, to be turn'd away – is not that as good as a hanging to you?'"  
  
"'Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and for turning away, let summer bear it out.'" Matthew was acting carefree again, just like always.  
  
"'You are resolute then?'" Rebecca asked him.  
  
"'Not so, neither, but I am resolv'd on two points.'"  
  
"'That if one break, the other will hold; or if both break, you gaskins fall.'" Rebecca snapped at him.  
  
Matthew grinned at Rebecca. "'Apt, in good faith, very apt. Well, go thy way; if Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.'"  
  
"'Peace, you rogue,'" it was hard to tell if Rebecca was acting or really cranky now. "'No more o' that. Here comes my lady. Make your excuse wisely, you were best.'" With that she left, while Lyn entered on time, Jaffar right behind her.  
  
"Well, I guess that kills my asking Lyn what just happened in the last scene, huh?" Hector grumbled.  
  
"If I get it right, Matthew's been gone somewhere for a long time, and Olivia – Lyn – is really mad at him. Rebecca's telling him this, and warning him to be careful, or he'll be hanged or, more likely, dismissed and out of work. Feste, like Matthew, really doesn't act like he cares, but he probably does."  
  
"Gee, Ninian," Hector raised his eyebrows. "Maybe I should go to you for interpretation. You don't swear at me or call me hopeless. It's rather nice, y'know." Hector winked and Ninian smiled at the joke.  
  
Onstage, Matthew bowed to the scowling Lyn. "'Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee do very oft prove fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wide man. For what says Quinapalus? "Better a witty fool than a foolish wit" – God bless thee, lady!'"  
  
"Wow, he said that all in, like, one sentence," Eliwood admired. "That might be even better than Sain's memorizing of all his lines."  
  
"'Take the fool away,'" Lyn snapped to Jaffar, who tried not to glare at her, but failed and glared anyway.  
  
"'Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady,'" Matthew countered.  
  
"'Go to, y'are a dry fool; I'll no more of you. Besides, you grow dishonest.'"  
  
"'Two faults, Madonna, that drink and good counsel will amend; for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry; bid the dishonest man mend himself: if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Any thing that's mended is but patch'd; virtue that transgresses is but patch'd with sin, and sin that amends is but patch'd with virtue. If that this simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not, what remedy? As there is no true cockold but calamity, so beauty's a flower. The lady bade take away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.'" After that, Matthew looked a little blue in the face from a lack of oxygen trying to fast-talk himself out of death.  
  
"'Sir, I bade them take away you,'" Lyn said icily.  
  
"'Misprision in the highest degree!" Matthew cried. "Lady, "Cucullus non facit monachum"; that's as much to say as I wear not motley in my brain. Good Madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool.'"  
  
"Isn't Madonna a singer?" Hector asked.  
  
"They're talking about the Virgin Mary, Hector."  
  
"Huh? That doesn't make sense."  
  
"It's also an obsolete way of addressing –married- women in Italy."  
  
"Olivia's not married."  
  
"Get over it, Hector."  
  
"'Can you do it?'" Lyn taunted.  
  
"'Dexteriously, good Madonna.'"  
  
"'Make your proof.'"  
  
"'I must catechize you for it, Madonna. Good my mouse of virtue, answer me.'"  
  
"'Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof.'"  
  
Matthew winced theatrically, as if wounded. "'Good Madonna, why mourn'st thou?'"  
  
"'Good fool, for my brother's death.'"  
  
"'I think his soul is in hell, Madonna.'"  
  
"'I know his soul is in heaven, fool.'" Lyn snapped at him.  
  
"'The more fool, Madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.'" Matthew grinned triumphantly.  
  
"'What think you of this fool, Malvolio?'" Lyn asked, turning to face Jaffar, who stood stony faced. "'Doth he not mend?'"  
  
"'Yes...'" Jaffar's voice was very low and hoarse, and Hector found himself leaning forward to try and hear the low, slow-speaking Malvolio.  
  
(A/N: haha, that rhymes!)  
  
"'...and shall do till the pangs of death,'" at the word death, Jaffar's voice grew a little louder. "'shake him. ... Infirmity... that decays the wise, doth... ever make a better fool.'"  
  
"Good thing he doesn't have many lines," Hector commented. "He takes so long to say something we'd all die of old age before the middle of the plan." Eliwood tried not to grin as Ninian laughed quietly.  
  
"'God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox; but he will not pass his word for twopence that you are no fool.'" Matthew shot at Jaffar.  
  
"'How say you to that, Malvolio?'" Lyn asked.  
  
"'... I ... marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a ... barren... rascal. I saw him – '"  
  
"Come ON Jaffar!" someone yelled. Twisting around, Hector saw Serra yelling from the back. "We'll be here all DAY if you don't speed up!" there were a few murmured agreements. Jaffar glared.  
  
"'I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool that has no more brain than a stone. Look you now, he's out of his guard already. Unless you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagg'd. I protest I take these wise men that crow so at these set kind of fools no better than the fools' zanies.'"  
  
There were more than a few open mouths at Jaffar's sudden increase of speech, and more than one of the girls were getting strange looks on their faces and little hearts floating around their heads. Nino was beaming.  
  
"'O – o, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio,'" Lyn tried to recover herself, and spoke while giving Jaffar the oddest look. "'And taste with a distemper'd appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition, is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets. There is no slander in an allow'd fool, though he do nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet main, though he do nothing but reprove.'"  
  
"Care to translate for me, Ninian?" Hector asked.  
  
"Um," Ninian furrowed her brow thinking. "Basically, Olivia was going to dismiss him, but Feste managed to talk his way out of it. Now Malvolio's trying to get rid of him, but not having much luck, and even Olivia is starting to make fun of him. ...I think, anyway..." Ninian looked worried.  
  
"Sounds right to me," Eliwood said, giving Ninian a hug that she gladly accepted. Hector turned his head back towards the stage as Rebecca ran back up the steps.  
  
"'Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman who much desires to speak with you.'" She panted.  
  
"'From the Count Orsino, is it?'" Lyn rolled her eyes.  
  
"'I know not, madam. 'Tis a fair young man, and well attended.'" Rebecca bowed her head.  
  
"'Who of my people hold him in delay?'" Lyn asked.  
  
"'Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman,'" Rebecca answered.  
  
"'Fetch him off, I pray you, he speaks nothing by mad-man; fie on him!'" Lyn scolded and Rebecca scurried offstage again. "'Go you, Malvolio; if it be a suit from the Count, I am sick, or not at home – what you will, to dismiss it.'" Jaffar silently turned and slipped off the stage. "'Now you see, sir, how your fooling grows old, and people dislike it.'" Lyn eyed Matthew.  
  
"'Thou hast spoke for us, Madonna, as if thy eldest son should be a fool; whose skull Jove cram with brains! For – here he comes – '" Matthew broke off as Sain came swaggering onto the stage. "'one of thy kin has a most weak pia mater.'"  
  
"'By min honour, half drunk. What is he at the gate, cousin?'" Lyn asked with obvious distaste.  
  
"'A gentleman,'" Sain said proudly. Probably for still knowing all his lines.  
  
"'A gentleman? What gentleman?'" Lyn asked.  
  
"''Tis a gentleman here – a plague o' these pickle-herring! How now, sot?'"  
  
"'Good Sir Toby!'" Matthew cried.  
  
"'Cousin, cousin, how have you come so early to this lethargy?'" Lyn demanded.  
  
"'Lechery! I defy lechery. There's one at the gate.'" Sain said.  
  
"I wonder if he knows what his words really mean," Hector snickered. "I know he probably intends to be all noble and chivalrous, but his stupid attitude are working perfectly."  
  
"'Ay, marry, what is he?'" Lyn asked, trying to be patient. She was starting to imitate Erk by having her eye twitch.  
  
"'Let him be the devil an he will, I care not; give me faith, say I. Well, it's all one.'" Sain said and walked off.  
  
"Absolutely, bloody perfect!" Hector crowed.  
  
"Hector! Be nice!" Ninian hissed.  
  
"Well, at least be quiet, or you might set Ms. Spencer off again," Eliwood grinned, obviously agreeing with his friend. Try as he might, Sain was giving his person the perfect impression, without even meaning too.  
  
"'What's a drunken man like, fool?'" Lyn asked Matthew.  
  
"'Like a drown'd man, a fool, and a madman. One draught above heat makes him a fool, the second mads him, and a third drowns him.'" Matthew answered.  
  
"'Go thou and seek the crowner, and let him sit o' my coz; for he's in the third degree of drink, he's drown'd. Go look after him.'"  
  
"'He is but mad yet, Madonna, and the fool shall look to the madman.'" Matthew grinned as he left after Sain.  
  
Jaffar re-approached the stage, his face stony. "'Madam,'" he spoke to Lyn, his face expressionless. "'yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. I told him you were sick; he takes on him to understand so much and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep; he seems to have foreknowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him, lady? He's fortified against any denial.'"  
  
"'Tell him he shall not speak to me,'" Lyn said haughtily.  
  
"'H'as been told so; and he says he'll stand at your door like a sheriff's post, and be the supporter to a bench, but he'll speak with you.'"  
  
"'What kind o' man is he?'" Lyn asked.  
  
"'Why, of mankind,'" Jaffar surprised the entire class by saying it in an offhand manner, accompanied by a small, sly grin. A few people applauded.  
  
"'What MANNER of man?'" Lyn asked.  
  
"'Of very ill manner; he'll speak with you, will you or no.'"  
  
"'Of what personage and years is he?'"  
  
"'Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy; as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a codling when 'tis almost an apple. 'Tis with him in standing water, between boy and man. He is very well-favor'd and he speaks very shrewishly. One would think his mother's milk were scarcely out of him.'"  
  
"'Let him approach. Call in my gentlewoman.'" Lyn commanded.  
  
"'Gentlewoman, my lady calls,'" Jaffar said as he walked off the stage, crossing paths once again with Rebecca.  
  
"'Give me my veil; come, throw it o'er my face. We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy.'" Lyn sighed as Rebecca pantomimed throwing a veil over her head.  
  
Nino, flanked by the two 'attendants', Serra and Priscilla, trooped onstage and stood opposite to Lyn and Rebecca.  
  
"'The honourable lady of the house, which is she?'" Nino asked, looking at Lyn as a dead giveaway.  
  
"'Speak to me; I shall answer for her. Your will?'" Lyn answered  
  
"'Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty – I pray you tell me if this be the lady of house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech; for besides that it is excellently well penn'd, I have taken great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me sustain no scorn; I am very comptible, even to the least sinister usage.'" Nino began, speaking as if she had recited it from memory.  
  
"'Whence came you, sir?'"  
  
"'I can say little more than I have studied, and that question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that I may proceed in my speech.'"  
  
"'Are you a comedian?"' Lyn demanded.  
  
"'No, my profound heat; and yet (by the very fangs of malice I swear) I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house?'" Nino asked, sounding exasperated.  
  
"'If I do not usurp myself, I am.'" Lyn admitted  
  
"That all sounds familiar," Hector said, trying to remember where he'd heard it before.  
  
"It was the lines the girls used for the tryouts, remember?" Ninian told him.  
  
"Oh, right, right."  
  
"'Most certain you are she, you do usurp yourself; for what is yours to bestow is not yours to reserve. But this is from my commission; I will on with my speech in your praise, and then show you the heart of my message.'" Nino looked more than a little confused at the meaning of the script, but shrugged and kept reading.  
  
"'Come to what is important in't. I forgive you the praise.'" Lyn said dismissively.  
  
"'Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 'tis poetical.'" Nino sounded disappointed.  
  
"'It is the more like to be feign'd, I pray you keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates, and allow'd your approach rather to wonder at you than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone. If you have reason, be brief. 'Tis not that time of moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.'"  
  
"Heh. And that translates into 'it's her time of month'.'" Eliwood grinned wickedly while Ninian pummelled him lightly.  
  
"'Will you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your way,'" Rebecca offered, obviously eager to get rid of Nino.  
  
"'No, good swabber, I am to hull here a little longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet lady. Tell me your mind – I am a messenger.'" Nino flattered Lyn.  
  
"'Sure you have some hideous matter to deliver, when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.'" Lyn sighed.  
  
"'It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war, no taxation of homage; I hold the olive in my hand; my words are as full of peace as matter.'"  
  
"'Yet you begin rudely. What are you? What would you?'" Lyn asked.  
  
"'The rudeness that hath appear'd in me have I learn'd from my entertainment. What I am, and what I would are as secret as maidenhead: to your ears, divinity; to any other's, profanation.'"  
  
"'Give us the place alone, we will hear this divinity.'" Lyn said, waving away the attendants and Rebecca, who all filed down the stairs once more. "'Now, sir, what is your text?'"  
  
"'Most sweet lady-'" Nino began but was cut off by Lyn.  
  
"'A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it. Where lies your text?'"  
  
"'In Orsino's bosom.'"  
  
"I would so love to poke fun at that, but it's so perfect I don't even need to," Hector grinned to Eliwood.  
  
"'In his bosom? In what chapter of his bosom?'"  
  
"'To answer by the method, in the first of his heart,'" Nino answered sagely, although Hector doubted she understood much of what she said. Nino was simply a natural genius, whether she knew it or not.  
  
"'O, I have read it; it is heresy. Have you no more to say?'" Lyn said grumpily.  
  
"'Good madam, let me see your face.'"  
  
"'Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face? You are now out of your text; but we will draw the curtain and show you the picture. Look you, sir, such a one I was this present,'" Lyn said, brushing away the 'veil' about her face. "'Is't not well done?'"  
  
"'Excellently done, if God did all.'"  
  
"''Tis in grain, sir; 'twill endure wind and weather.'"  
  
"''Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and while nature's own sweet and cunning hand laid on. Lady you are the crull'st she alive if you will lead these graces to the grave, and leave the world no copy,'" Nino flattered Lyn outrageously.  
  
"'O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted; I will give out divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be inventoried, and every particle and utensil labell'd to my will: as, item, two lips, indifferent red; item, two gray eyes, with lids to them; item, one neck, on chin, and so forth. Were you send hither to praise me?'"  
  
"'I see you what you are, you are too proud; but, if you were the devil, you are fair, my lord and master love you. O, such love could be but recompens'd though you were crown'd the nonpareil of beauty!'"  
  
"'How does he love me?'" Lyn asked.  
  
"'With adorations, fertile tears, with groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire,'" Nino said stubbornly.  
  
"'Your lord does know my mind, I cannot love him, yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble, of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth, in voices well divulg'd, free, learn'd, and valiant, and in dimension, and the shape of nature, a gracious person. But I cannot love him. He might have took his answer long ago.'" Lyn said with a sigh.  
  
"'If I did love you in my master's flame, with such a suff'ring, such a deadly life, in your denial I would find no sense; I would not understand it.'" Nino said, her innocent eyes wide.  
  
"'Why, what would you?'" Lyn asked, curious  
  
"'Make me a willow cabin at your gate, and call upon my soul with the house; write loyal cantons of condemned love, and sing them loud even in the dead of night; hallow your name to the reverberate hills, and make the babbling gossip of the air cry out, "Olivia!" O, you should not rest between the elements of air and earth but you should pity me!'" Nino cried with such sincerity that she surprised maybe even herself.  
  
"'You might do much. What is your parentage?'"  
  
"'Above my fortunes, yet my state is well: I am a gentleman.'"  
  
"'Get you to your lord. I cannot love him; let him send no more- Unless, perchance, you come to me again to tell me how he takes it. Fare you well. I thank you fore your pains. Spend this for me.'" Lyn nodded, miming her taking out money.  
  
"'I am no fee'd post, lady; keep your purse; my master, not myself, lacks recompence. Love make his heart of flint that you shall love, and let your fervor like my master's, be plac'd in contempt! Farewell, fair cruelty,'" Nino said, bowing as she left.  
  
"'"What is your parentage?" "Above my fortunes, yet my state is well: I am a gentleman."'" Lyn muttered to herself. "'I'll be sworn thou art; thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions and spirit, do give the fivefold blazon. Not so fast! Soft, soft! Unless the master were a man. How now? Even so quickly may one catch the plague? Methinks I feel this youth's perfections with an invisible and subtly stealth to creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be. What ho, Malvolio!'"  
  
Jaffar glumly climbed the steps again. "'...Here, madam. ... At your service.'"  
  
"Run after that same peevish messenger, the County's man. He left this ring behind him, would I or not. Tell him I'll none of it. Desire him not to flatter with his lord, nor hold him up with hopes: I am not for him. If that the youth will come this way to-morrow, I'll give him reasons for't. Hie thee, Malvolio.'"  
  
"Can you explain that, Ninian?" Hector asked plaintively.  
  
"All that in a nutshell is Viola is posing as a boy, trying to woo Olivia for Orsino. Olivia won't take any of it, but she'll listen to Viola. Viola charms Olivia, and Olivia falls in love, so when Viola leaves, she sends Malvolio after Viola with a ring that Viola supposedly left behind. This act will make Viola return the next day, which is what Olivia wants."  
  
"Alright. Thanks, Ninian."  
  
"Your welcome, Hector."  
  
"'...Madam. ...I will.'" Jaffar left a lot faster than he'd came.  
  
"'I do not know now what, and fear to find mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind. Fate, show thy force, ourselves we do not owe; what is decreed must be; and be this so.'" Lyn said, finally finished.  
  
"Very good, class!" Ms. Spencer beamed. Her temperment had greatly improved over the course of the scene. "Alright, you can leave in a moment. However: Tomorrow is Saturday, day off, ect. We need to start costumes, so I need all the major characters HERE by noon –" There were several groans. "If you are a major character, and you aren't here, I'll give your part to someone else." She threatened. The groaning quieted a lot, but there still grumbling by the late risers. "We'll be done by initial fittings by four, so afterwards your free to go. Sunday is your day off, and Monday we start all over again. Clear?"  
  
"Clear," the class chorused.  
  
"You can go."  
  
There was an instant stampede as everyone ran for the doors. Once outside the gym, Hector stretched, cracking a few bones in the process.  
  
"It's getting REALLY boring, just sitting there doing nothing," Eliwood commented.  
  
"It's a good time to nap."  
  
"HECTOR!" his friends yelled.  
  
"Alright, alright, calm down. Eesh..."  
  
"By the way, Ninian," Eliwood turned to his girlfriend with a grin. "How did the talk with Erk go?"  
  
Ninian grinned. "Just fine. He believed every word I said."  
  
"What did you tell him?" Hector asked nervously.  
  
"I told him that Nino wanted to go on a date, but she was afraid Jaffar would get angry with her, so she arranged for it through proxy. She would met him there in case Jaffar was at her house when he came by, and he couldn't tell anyone in case Jaffar found out. So that eliminates all possibilities of anyone finding out and tipping either Erk or Serra off."  
  
"..Ninian, I love you."  
  
Lyn glared at Hector as Ninian blushed and Eliwood laughed.

* * *

Whitney: and that's all. I think I'll go give my eyes a rest before they burn up on me. I know that was mostly lines from the play, but by the time I got through it, I couldn't think of anything really funny, so I ended it quickly. Sowwy.

Nino: Read and review, pleeeease? #puppy eyes#

Matthew: #shifty look# the more you review, the quicker the next one goes up...

Heath: It'll probably go up fast, regardless.

Matthew: Shaddup

Whitney: bep, debep, debep, t-t-that's all folks!


	6. Intermission 1: Mission, Impossible

Whitney: I'm baaaa-aaaack!  
  
Erk: Run for your lives.  
  
Whitney: -.- I'm sorry the last chapter was apparently so confusing.  
  
Lyn: It was long!  
  
Whitney: And if I'd cut it into two parts, it would've meant less, er, out- of-class time.  
  
Erk: #raised eyebrow# out-of-class?  
  
Whitney: YOU think of a better way to say it!  
  
#SILENCE#  
  
Whitney: good. Now, this time, as a reward, there will be NO SHAKESPEARE! None!  
  
Erk/Jaffar: YES!  
  
Erk/Jaffar: #look at each other#...  
  
Erk/Jaffar: AAAHHH!  
  
Heath: Man, that was odd...  
  
Whitney: Alright! Today, we have costume fittings –  
  
Erk: Uh-oh  
  
Wil: I have a baaaad feeling about this  
  
Whitney: and the long awaited event: Serra and Erk's DATE!!  
  
Erk: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-  
  
Hector: #WHAM#  
  
Hector: Let's learn from the first time, shall we?  
  
Erk: #KO#  
  
Whitney: I will also be switching back and forth between Hector and Erk's POV (point of view). I'm trying to make it more interesting... For both parties.

Hector: Both parties?

Whitney: Y'know, more than one?

Heath: is someone else going on a date?

Whitney: #whistles#

Hector: #shivers# I'm getting a BAAAAD feeling...

Whitney: I don't own Fire Emblem, I don't own the unnames Ice Cream Place (maybe it's DQ?), I don't own Harry Potter, Spider-Man 2, the Notebook, Il Mercado, the Movie Theater (maybe it's Empire?), umm..

Karla: or anything else that happens to randomly pop up that she forgot about

Whitney: and hints to people requesting parings: the people in the play (Orsino, Olivia, etc.), the people they end up with at the end will mimic (for the most part), the pairings at the end of the story :P

* * *

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

Hector groaned as he walked through the school doors. The school was empty and hollow seeming without the multitude of students filling its halls. Sure, he'd seem empty hallways before – when he was wandering around the school going to "the bathroom" in the middle of class – but there was something different about it on a weekend. There was a kind of "You shouldn't be here" quality about it, and Hector agreed completely. He hated giving up his weekend – even part of it – for any reason. However, he was getting out of a date with Serra, so he couldn't REALLY complain.  
  
"Hi Hector!"  
  
He groaned silently. He wasn't really interested in talking to people today, but he'd probably better be civil: he didn't need Lyn gabbing him in the gut all day, muttering at him. He stuck a smile on his face as he looked at the disgustingly wide-awake Lyn.  
  
"Hi, Lyn. S'up?"  
  
"Not too much," she grinned bouncing over to him. Hector shut his eyes. He couldn't stand that much energy this early in the morning.  
  
"What's wrong with you, Hector?" She asked. "So don't look so hot."  
  
"It's too early in the morning!" He complained.  
  
"What're you talking about?" Lyn demanded, staring at him. "It's almost noon! Y'know, like, AFTERnoon? Like, almost EVENING? How can you say it's too early?"  
  
"I don't usually get up on a weekend 'til, like, ONE, alright?" Hector groaned. "I like staying up late, not getting up early." Lyn rolled her eyes.  
  
"Well, if you fall asleep, I'll elbow you in the gut a few times; that should keep you awake."  
  
"Wonderful..."  
  
"I knew you'd agree. C'mon. Ms. Spencer'll be P.O'd if we're late."  
  
"Yeah, yeah..."

* * *

Hector and Lyn joined Eliwood and Ninian near the stage. Ninian looked as awake as she always did, but Eliwood looked more like what Hector felt: lousy, and half asleep.  
  
"Hi Ninian, Eliwood," Lyn greeted them plunking herself in the nearest available seat. Hector grabbed three empty chairs and lay down.  
  
"Hector! What are you DOING?" Lyn scolded him. Hector ignored her.  
  
"Good idea Hector," Eliwood congratulated him and mimicked him.  
  
"Eliwood?" Ninian asked.  
  
"Simple," Eliwood grinned at his girlfriend. "If I can't stay in bed, I'll bring the bed to me!"  
  
"You mean you two are ACTUALLY going to go to sleep?" Lyn almost shrieked.  
  
"Yes. That way you get to elbow us when the teacher comes in. Get over it Lyn, we're going to be here for a long time doing nothing. You can handle two sleeping guys, I'm sure." Hector grinned as he imagined the smouldering look on Lyn's face. He wasn't far off.  
  
Hector groaned and got up, pacing the floor. They'd been there for three and a half hours, and he was getting VERY bored. Lyn, Rebecca and Nino had all be called early, then all the extras and half of the minor major boy's parts. Now it was just half the male cast left, and they were left to wait while Ms. Spencer to find the location of the seamstress. Apparently Jaffar hadn't liked her too much and threatened her, so she'd gone into hiding. Hector groaned again. Lyn and Ninian had left after their fitting, and so had most of the class. Now only the people who were still to be done were left, along with Erk and Nino, who were waiting for Jaffar. Rather, Nino was waiting for Jaffar, and Erk was waiting for Nino. Hector smirked to himself. Erk was going to be in for a rather nasty shock later on. He only hoped no one tipped him off before hand. He was watching the two of them now, and getting more and more nervous. It was possible Erk might ask Nino something and she might tip him off –  
  
Then Jaffar came out with Ms. Spencer screaming behind him. He calmly walked to Nino then the three of them left, Ms. Spencer's oaths streaming out behind them. Hector looked in her general direction and nodded approvingly.  
  
"Y'know, I was beginning to think she was a lost case."  
  
Eliwood shook his head. "Honestly Hector. You'll respect her now because she knows how to swear?"  
  
"No, because she knows swear words even I don't know."  
  
Eliwood rolled his eyes.  
  
Things ground to a halt at that point. The seamstress was practically in hysterics and Ms. Spencer didn't seem to know what to do. Finally, Ms. Spencer told them all to go home and they would do the rest of the fittings later. There was quite a bit of grumbling as the rest of the students filed out.  
  
"Waddaya mean, WE HAVE TO COME BACK?" Hector bellowed as soon as they were out of the school building. He wasn't in a good mood. He had wasted four hours of his day, if not more, had had to get up early, and had gotten bored out of his skull: all for NOTHING. Smoke was almost coming out of his ears.  
  
"I wonder what's gonna happen tonight," Eliwood mused, trying to get Hector's attentions away from their wasted afternoon.  
  
"Huh?" Hector wasn't paying much attention. Eliwood rolled his eyes.  
  
"I SAID, I wonder what's going to happen tonight. You know, with Erk and Serra." He grinned. "It's going to be interesting, whatever the outcome."  
  
"It'd better be a GOOD outcome," Hector grumbled. "I don't want her screeching at me the second I walk into school on Monday." He made a face. "Maybe I should just skip school."  
  
"Lyn'll have your hide."  
  
"So?"  
  
"And they call ME dense with girls..." Eliwood laughed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hector, you are HOPELESS."  
  
"What in the WORLD are you going on about?"  
  
"I guess you'll have to wait and find out huh?"  
  
"...Whatever." Hector shook his head. He didn't need more problems today. He glanced at his watch. 5:30. "Think Erk and Serra are there yet?"  
  
"What time is it?" Eliwood asked, looking at Hector's watch. "Hm. I dunno. Maybe. It takes 15 minutes to drive, so they might be leaving now."  
  
"Where does Serra live?" Hector asked.  
  
"Not around here, if you think she's gonna drive past us," Eliwood assured him.  
  
"Good. C'mon, let's go to my house. It's closer."  
  
"Will I get food?"  
  
"If there's anything left over, sure."  
  
"Hurry up, Hector!" Eliwood yelled over his shoulder as he bolted down the street. Hector stood stunned for a moment then, with a yell, ran to catch up.

* * *

Erk POV

* * *

Erk was running late.  
  
Stupid Jaffar had frightened the sewing lady so badly that even Nino had given him a lecture, and made Erk had waited around to watch. He wasn't in such a hurry he was about to miss seeing Jaffar get his ass kicked by a girl. A younger girl, at that. Erk grinned. It had been the highlight of his day. Now, there was going to be an even bigger highlight.  
  
If he ever got there.  
  
Things seemed to be working against him. First, his car hadn't wanted to start, so he'd had to ask Louise, his "mother", to lend him HER car, which was almost out of gas. So he'd had to fill it up. And pick up a few groceries while he did so – with his own money. The things he'd do to get to the date on time. Then the shower'd gone cold on him, and he'd almost set the house on fire with the iron – but he was going on a date with Nino, so it was all good. Things could only go uphill from here.  
  
If only he knew what was in store for him.  
  
When he finally got there, he was five minutes late. He could only hope that either A)Nino had gotten there before him, or B)They weren't full and hadn't given his table away. Ninian had said the table was reserved under Hector's name, just as a precaution. He wasn't sure why – he was sure Jaffar would never bring Nino here – but it made sense to take no risks. He was relieved, when he got there, to find that it wasn't crowded at all – good. It meant a more intimate dinner. A smile crept onto his face, despite a desperate attempt to keep it off. Nothing could go wrong tonight, nothing! Even if Jaffar showed up! Bwahahahaha!  
  
"Um... I have a reservation." He said to the person standing at the front desk. With a sudden panic he realized he wasn't sure of Hector's last name. It was... Ostia, wasn't it? Crap!  
  
"May I ask your name, sir?" The lady asked him.  
  
"Uh... Hector Ostia!" he said breathlessly. Please let that be the right name!  
  
"You're late." The lady commented. "But we aren't full tonight, so your in luck." She paused. "You were expecting someone else to eat with you, right? The young lady who came in a few minutes ago said she was waiting –"  
  
"Yes!" Erk exclaimed. "Yes, that's the right table." Nino was here! He hoped she wouldn't be too mad at him for being late.  
  
"Right this way, sir," The lady said, leading him to his table.

* * *

Hector's POV

* * *

Hector and Eliwood were sprawled on the couch, eating the remnants of a bag of chips. Hector's brother was out for the evening – at least that's what his note said – so Eliwood and Hector had the house to themselves. When the phone rang Hector groaned, but after the third annoyed ring, he dragged himself away from the NASCAR race on T.V. and answered it.  
  
"Hello?" He asked, annoyed.  
  
"Hey, Hector?"  
  
"Uh, yeah-?"  
  
"It's Karla!"  
  
"Karla? What's up?"  
  
"Look, do you have something to do with Erk being here under your name?"  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"I work at Il Mercado, Hector!"  
  
"OH! Oh, that. Uh, maybe. Why?"  
  
"Because I'm trying to figure out why both Serra and Erk claim a table under YOUR name, Mr. Ostia." She sounded annoyed.  
  
"Uh..." Hector sighed. "OK, it's like this..." As he told Karla the whole story, she starting snickering.  
  
"OK, it's like this," She told him. "When Erk got in, Serra was in the bathroom or something, because she wasn't at the table. I was serving a table close by, but I had my back turned so I didn't see him. I was lucky though; I turned around just as Serra sat down. I think Erk's eyes were about to bug out of his head. Serra seemed a little confused, but not all that upset," Karla laughed. "It took Erk a little longer to realize it though. He seemed to think Serra was in the wrong place, and she told him she had a date with Hector here – something about a bet? Ah, whatever. Anyway, ERK said that Ninian had told him Nino wanted to meet him here. Serra gave him this weird look and told him that Nino was going to a movie with Jaffar tonight. I think at that point Erk realized that, since Ninian is Eliwood's girlfriend, and Eliwood is YOUR best friend, he'd been had. I could almost swear he started to cry at that point, but Serra wasn't about to put up with a sobbing date. Last time I saw them, Erk was trying to eat his dinner while Serra chatted his ear off. At least he hasn't bolted yet."  
  
Hector was trying to laugh with glee. "Karla, do you think you could call me back when they leave? I want to see if he makes it to the movie theatre."  
  
"You got it Hector!" Karla promised and hung up.  
  
"What was that Hector?" Eliwood asked and Hector, laughing, told him.

* * *

Erk's POV

* * *

Erk was in a state of shock, to put it lightly.  
  
He'd spent most of dinner ignoring Serra, and trying to figure out how he'd been tricked – by Ninian, no less! Why hadn't he thought of it earlier? Hector – Eliwood – Ninian – him. It was a good plan, and he'd totally missed it. What was worse (or better), was that Serra didn't care. Now he had to fork out all the money for a date he didn't really want to be on anymore. When he'd finally gotten out of the house, he was sure it could only get better.  
  
But it had gotten worse. Much worse.  
  
"What movie shall we see, Erky-werky?" Serra cooed looking through the movie selections.  
  
"Harry Potter and the Prisioner of Azkaban?" he offered hopefully. It may be a long movie, but it was about magic, so he could endure it. Serra, however, made a face and his hopes fell. "King Arthur, then?"  
  
"I want to see The Notebook!" Serra gave him a hard look.  
  
Erk blanched. Oh God. Help me. Help me, help me, help me, help me...  
  
"Hi guys!" A cheerful voice greeted them. Erk turned to see Eliwood and Ninian coming towards them.  
  
"Hi Ninian! Hi Eliwood!" Serra smiled at them. "Are you going to a movie too?"  
  
"Yeah," Eliwood grinned. "We're going to see Spider-Man 2."  
  
"Is it any good?" Serra asked, wrinkling her nose.  
  
"My brother said it was," Ninian offered. "Why don't you come with us?"  
  
"Yes, PLEASE!" Erk jumped at the chance. "C'mon Serra, let's go buy tickets." He said, practically dragging Serra along as she started –loudly – to protest.  
  
Fifteen minutes later Erk and Serra met up with Eliwood and Ninian at the ticket gate. Serra had made him practically buy out the snack counter, and he could barely walk straight.  
  
"You guys ready?" Eliwood greeted them. Erk could only nod, so Serra answered for him.  
  
"Of course. Come on!"  
  
"Come on, Ninian," Eliwood said, putting his arm around her waist and leading them down the hall.  
  
The theatre was still light when they got in. Erk almost dumped the snacks down on the seat with relief, since his arms were about ready to give up. Serra seated herself promptly in the centre of the back row, and snuggled close to Erk as soon as he sat down. They'd barely sat down when Ninian said she wanted a drink, and Eliwood took her to buy one. He return a few moments later to collect his coat, saying his wallet was inside. Erk sat there, fuming. He'd been waiting to talk to Ninian for a while now, but hadn't been alone long enough to do so. She'd better get back soon. Then the lights darkened and the movie started.

(A/N: do we sense a conspiracy?)

* * *

Hector's POV

* * *

"Hey Hector!" Eliwood's exulted voice came over the phone.  
  
"Eliwood! Well? How's it going?" Hector demanded.  
  
"Great. We got them into see Spinder-Man 2. Me 'n' Ninian are going to pick up the one that starts in, what –" his voice faded as he turned away from the phone than came back again. "2 minutes. We're going to watch till the end of the credits to make sure Erk and Serra leave first. I think it would ruin their date – and ours – if Erk starting yelling and Ninian and me for duping him twice."  
  
"Have fun you two. Be nice to each other," Hector told him with a grin.  
  
"You know it!" Eliwood agreed and hung up. Hector rubbed his hands, almost wanting to jump up and down. This more than made up for the wasted afternoon!

* * *

Erk's POV

* * *

It'd been about halfway through the movie when Erk finally realized he'd been duped. He'd had suspicious at the beginning of the movie, but the middle marked the point of no return. He'd had to suffer through the whole thing with Serra hanging off his arm so tightly she'd cut off circulation. She'd hugged even tighter when something "scary" came on the screen, and she'd been a little put out when he didn't put an arm around her to comfort her. He'd finally told her that he couldn't, because she was hanging onto his arm. She'd finally let go of it, but he'd then spent the rest of the movie in far closer contact with her than he would've liked.  
  
It was finally over, and Serra'd dragged him out of the theatre as soon as credits started to roll. She then spent five minutes in the bathroom while Erk lounged around outside. He considered running, but that probably wouldn't do any good. It was beginning to smell like a carefully staged plot to him: She'd made a deal with Hector, Ninian and Eliwood and Karla – who'd been at the restaurant – and they were setting him up and keeping tabs on him. He just hoped they were almost done.  
  
"ERK!" Serra screeched happily when she finally re-emerged. "C'mon, let's go!"  
  
"Go?" Erk stared at her. "Go where? It's getting close to midnight!"  
  
"Sooooooo?" Serra asked him, giving him "the look" that brooked no argument. Erk sighed.  
  
"Alright, fine, let's go. Just, tell me where were going."  
  
"To the ice cream place."  
  
"Wonderful," Erk said without enthusiasm.  
  
"I KNEW you'd agree!" Serra squealed, then started dragging him off. "C'mon!"  
  
"Someone... help me..." Erk moaned.

* * *

Hector's POV

* * *

"Hi, Hector?"  
  
The phone didn't seem to want to stop ringing at his house. There HAD been three or so hours of peace while the movie was playing, but now it was back.  
  
"Hi Lyn," he greeted the person at the other end. "S'up?"  
  
"I was just calling to see what happened with the Serra-Erk affair. I mean, if it worked or not -..." She sounded nervous for some reason.  
  
"It's going GREAT!" He exclaimed, then proceeded to tell her about all he'd heard in the past six hours. "... and Eliwood just called to say his movie was over, which means their movie's been over for about fifteen minutes. Probably closer to twenty, though, because they waited until the end of the credits to come out."  
  
"Does that mean you're free tonight, then?" Lyn asked.  
  
"Yeah...why?"  
  
"Oh... er..."  
  
"Lyn?"  
  
"...Nothing. I'll talk to you later Hector – "  
  
It finally dawned on Hector was Eliwood was talking about earlier.  
  
"Are YOU free tonight Lyn?" He asked quickly before she could hang up.  
  
"Huh? Uh, yeah."  
  
"Have any interest in ice cream or a movie?"  
  
"Oh! Uh..."  
  
Hector grinned.

* * *

Erk POV

* * *

The night was almost over.  
  
It was 11: 43, and there was only 17 minutes left until tomorrow. And then, a new wave of misery. Although he was keeping his face a stony as possible, and saying little, Erk was beginning to have SOME fun – not that he would admit it.  
  
Serra was rambling on and on about something – Erk hadn't been paying much attention – when the door caught his attention. Erk causally glanced at the door and then stared, open mouthed by what he saw. Hector and Lyn walked through the door, chatting as they did so. Hector and Lyn headed for the bored cashier and bought their ice cream – Hector buying about twice Lyn's amount. When they turned, Lyn nudged Hector and pointed towards them. Erk's eyes went wide again and he banged his head on the table. This, at least caught Serra's attention, and she started screeching "What's wrong, Erky?" over and over again.  
  
"Hiya Erk," Hector greeted him cheerfully. "How's it going?"  
  
"Go to hell, Hector," Erk muttered. JUST when things were going sorta well, someone ELSE they knew showed up. All he needed now was for Nino to show up and his life was screwed.  
  
"Hi Serra," Lyn greeted Erk's date, and she was quickly followed by Erk. Erk narrowed his eyes and looked at them.  
  
"Hey – he interrupted Lyn and Serra's conversation, whatever it had been about. "Why are you two here together?"  
  
Lyn and Hector looked at him, then looked at each other. Hector shrugged. "Oh... nothing, y'know? We just got bored and... decided to come for ice cream." Erk noticed them both looked a little red and promptly buried themselves in their ice cream the second Hector was done talking. Erk smiles to himself. He could get back at Hector now!  
  
"Are, um, you two here on a date?" Lyn asked, then realized it was probably the wrong thing to ask when Serra went off on a long rant about how great her date had been. She'd talked for so long the three of them were in a stupor when Serra suddenly stopped, then looked at Hector.  
  
"Hector, Wasn't my date with YOU?"  
  
"Uh... I guess so." Hector was looking a little uncomfortable at this point.  
  
"Then why did ERK show up? And why didn't he know he was meeting me?" Serra pouted, looking very sulky. Kinda cute too, Erk noticed.  
  
"They were trying to set you up," Lyn interjected quickly.  
  
"They?" Serra raised an eyebrow.  
  
What was going on? Serra didn't know what was going on, he didn't know what was going on... unless this was all part of some plan Serra was in on, was it possible that Hector and his group had set it up all on their own?  
  
"Hector and Ninian. They got together and decided that you two should at least TRY going on a date. I mean, do you REALLY think Hector would be so stupid as to accept taking you on a date in exchange for a note he could just get Eliwood to write again?" Lyn covered for Hector smoothly.  
  
"I... guess so." Serra looked a little less sulky, but looked a little put out at Lyn calling her scheme to get a date 'dumb'.  
  
"Well, look at the time!" Erk exclaimed, looking at his watch. It was 11:59:59, and he wanted to get out of there A.S.A.P. "C'mon, Serra, isn't it about time I took you home?"  
  
Serra looked at the wall clock and sighed. "I guess so," she said, annoyed. Erk could have jumped up and down. He was almost FREEEEE!  
  
"We'll see you two Monday at school?" Lyn asked.  
  
"You know it! And I'll give you the FULL details of my date!" Serra squealed. Lyn nodded and Hector smirked.  
  
"See you guys later!"  
  
The drive back to Serra's house was almost exactly like dinner, except Erk was driving instead of sitting at a table. He almost drove past her house, but her unusually loud screeching brought him back to earth.  
  
"Here you go Serra," he said, sounding tired.  
  
"Won't you walk me to the door?" She asked, giving him two very convincing – he hated to admit – puppy eyes. With a sigh he got out of the car. And opened her door as well, since it became obvious she would never get out otherwise.  
  
"I had SO much fun, Erk!" she grinned at him.  
  
"That's good, Serra," he responded automatically.  
  
He stood there waiting for her to go in while she stood there and looked back at him.  
  
"Uh...Serra? This IS your house right?"  
  
"Uh huh!"  
  
"Then, um... why don't you go in?" please don't let her be thinking what I THINK she's thinking...  
  
"How can you end a date without a goodnight kiss?" she demanded. Erk groaned inwardly.  
  
"Isn't there some 'three date rule' with that?" he asked plaintively.  
  
"Not in my book!"  
  
Erk squirmed. "Er... aw, c'mon Serra, please?"  
  
She just stood there staring at him. "Crap..."  
  
Apparently Serra got tired of waiting at that point because she leaned forward and kissed him, taking him totally by surprise. He knew she'd wanted a kiss, but it was a surprise all the same. Even more surprising was the fact that he enjoyed it – enough so that by the time they broke away, they were both a little short on breath. Erk quickly backed away the moment he was free.  
  
"Er... see you at school, Serra. 'Nite!" he then turned and bolted for his car.  
  
"'Bye Erk!" Serra called after him, before finally entering her house.

* * *

Whitney: and that was my Shakespeare-free Intermission Pt.1

Heath: there's gonna be MORE?

Whitney: Sure. I mean, how else do I get Priscilla to burn you?

Heath: O.O

Hector: how would YOU know? You write this as you go along!

Whitney: Hey! That's a SECRET!

Hector: what, the fact you don't know how to plan?

Whitney: ...Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, the date was probably a little sloppily done, but I have a lack of experiece there, so, I'm writing from scratch and just trying to get it done. Eh-heh

Heath: ...I think I should be scared of you.

Whitney: That's a good plan! Anyway, there will be, I dunno, X number of other "intermissions". I think there'll be a total of three, because if I'm not mistaken there are three acts in the book. The intermissions (or things that happen outside of the play) will happen at the end of each scene. Oh, and at the end of the play. So... yeah. A few more. We can make fun of whoever you want! I happened to still two pairing in here (ErkxSerra, LynxHector) because the idea happened to present itself, so I could always do with more suggestions.

Sain: How about myself and fair lady Rebecca -

Rebecca: #hits Sain# in your DREAMS! #$

Whitney: He had that coming.

All except Sain: Yep...

Whitney: All right we hoped you liked it, R&R!

Nino: WOW! I didn't have to do it this time!

Karla: or me!

Nino/Karla: #high five!#

Whitney: -.-;;


	7. Act 2, Scene 1 and 2: Monday Morning

Whitney: Allo! I return!

Erk: Oh good. Just give me a moment to sharpen my knife, and then we'll be all set.

Whitney:... I just wanted to take a second to thank all my reviewers for the encouragement I've been recieveing -

Heath: there was that one exception, of course

Nino: #reading over particular review# We're ignoring that one until the guy learns to spell.

Erk: wait until he learns to read too. I mean, DUH. If you want action, why would you come to SHAKESPEARE PLAY?!?

Whitney: however, I got an idea from that review, so my story will now flip POV's around. It'll centre mostly around Hector, like normal, but during certain moments I'll put the POV on someone with more interesting observations.

Hector: Are you saying I'm dull?

Whitney: As dull as an axe.

Hector:... huh? Axes can be dull AND sharp!

Whitney: Exactly. I would also like to thank the reviewer who used the term "walking on eggshells" for Hecter and Lyn. I loved that line.

Nino: there was also that person who said we weren't acting OOC at all.

Eliwood: except we are.

Nino: It's the thought that counts.

Eliwood: #sighs#

Whitney: Anyway, thanks to EVERYONE, I hope you enjoy the, er, new style!

Karla: She doesn't own anything copyrighted mentioned in this fic.

* * *

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

Monday morning had a feeling of hollow feeling about it, like all that was worth happening had already happened. Hector didn't really like it.  
  
The weekend had been fairly exciting, if you discounted the four lost hours of costume making. That had to make THAT up after school today. He groaned. He wasn't up to this on a Monday.  
  
Then there was the whole Erk-Serra thing that the whole class – if not school – seemed to be in on. They hadn't MEANT to spy on the two, but it seemed to end up that way – simply because the opportunity presented itself, Hector was trying to tell himself. It wasn't really working.  
  
However, his biggest problem wasn't Erk and Serra anymore, or even that bloody play. It was Lyn.  
  
Not that this was a new thing. She was always a problem. But she was a BIGGER problem now; one he wasn't all that sure how to deal with. If anything, he wanted to keep their tentative relationship a secret –unlike Eliwood, who had practically announced it to the whole world when he and Ninian hooked up- and that normally wouldn't be a big problem, but Serra and Erk had happened to be at the one place Hector took her, and they knew. That could be a problem.  
  
"Hector!" Eliwood almost jumped him from behind.  
  
"Hey Eliwood," Hector greeted his friend, somewhat distractedly.  
  
"Hector? You're alright?" Eliwood asked, noticing Hector wasn't paying attention.  
  
"Er," Hector straightened up and tried to pay attention. Always a difficult thing when you're trying to sort out a problem like "how to keep the biggest loudmouth in school from spilling your deepest, darkest secret". "Er, yeah. I'm good. What's up?"  
  
Eliwood grinned. "I was beginning to get worried there. Anyway, I never got a chance to talk to you after me and Ninian's, er, get-together," they grinned at each other, "Saturday night. Have you found out how it went? Did Erk ever call you and string you out?"  
  
"Uh..." Hector faltered. Of COURSE Eliwood would want to talk about that, since he and Ninian had mysteriously vanished after calling Hector late Saturday night. "Well, when I saw them they were having ice cream – probably at Serra's insistence – but... they seemed to be doing O.K. And no, neither of them has hired assassins to come after me... yet, anyway."  
  
Eliwood laughed. "Yeah, yet. Hey, wait a second – you SAW them? At an ice cream place? After I talked to you at the theatre?" Eliwood looked at him, confused. "What were you doing out there?"  
  
"Er..." Hector shrugged, trying to think of an excuse. "Well, um... I got hungry, I guess. I thought about going to a movie, but it was kinda late, so I... just stopped by the first place I saw. And they happened to be there. S'all." Well, it wasn't a COMPLETE lie, and Eliwood seemed to believe it. Thank God Eliwood was trusting. Hector didn't lie a lot either, so that helped him a bit. Now, back to the Erk-Serra-Hector-Lyn problem. Erk had a grudge on him, and Serra was the biggest loudmouth around, and Hector was pretty sure that Lyn, like him, wanted to keep this as quiet as possible. ...Aw, hell, who was he kidding? He was screwed.  
  
**CLANG CLANG CLANG!....**  
  
"WHY CAN'T THE SCHOOL BUY SOME REAL FLIPPING BELLS?" He yelled peevishly over the noise of the bells as Nils whipped around the school ringing them for all he was worth.  
  
"I dunno. They charge enough, so you'd think we'd have enough money to install a P.A. too." Eliwood shrugged.  
  
"Wadda we have first?" Hector asked grumpily.  
  
"Er... Chem. It's a lab today too," Eliwood answered. Hector just swore and followed Eliwood to the lab room.  
  
Lab seemed to last forever. Lyn, who was smarter than Eliwood and Hector, was in advanced, and so did not share their class, for which Hector wasn't sure he was happy or disappointed. He was very inattentive that class, and in addition to spilling half his chemicals, he also dropped two beakers and the metal stand, which dented the floor and made the whole class jump with the noise. All in all, it was a very nasty first class, and he was more than happy to get out of there.  
  
"Hey, Hector, are you SURE you're OK?" Eliwood asked as they exited the class.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hector demanded, somewhat upset after the class.  
  
"Well, normally, you're pretty good at hands-on things like labs," Eliwood said, shrugging. "Today you pretty much went to pieces – along with most of your equipment."  
  
"Shove it," Hector growled. "What's next?"  
  
"It's recess right now. We have 15 minutes before English. A double double again."  
  
"Shit..." Hector grumbled. "Hey, Eliwood, can you bring my book to English for me?" He asked.  
  
"Huh? Well, sure, but where are you going?" Eliwood asked.  
Hector didn't answer, and instead proceeded to enter the boys bathroom, where he spent 15 minutes agonizing over his problem. If anything, he did NOT feel like looking Lyn in the eye until he had too. When the bell rang, it was with great reluctance that Hector headed for the gym.

* * *

Eliwood POV

* * *

Eliwood sat nervously in the seat he normally did, Ninian seated beside him. Hector'd been acting strangely all day, and Eliwood wanted to ask him why. He had Hector's books placed on the seat next to him, and he kept his eyes glued on the gym doors. Lyn entered as the bell rang, and seemed to be looking for someone, from the ways her eyes searched the room. She finally made her way to the front of the room, where Eliwood and Ninian were.  
  
"Have either you guys seem Eliwood?" She asked, looking nervous.  
  
"I haven't seem him since before recess," Eliwood answered. "But he asked me to bring his books, so he should show up." Lyn nodded mutely and sat down in the seat next to Hector's empty one. Eliwood looked at her curiously. She didn't seem so self-assured today. If anything, she was acting the same as Hector had been earlier. Eliwood raised an eyebrow but said nothing. There was SOMETHING going on, and it seemed to be centring around those two, but he'd keep his peace if they didn't want to talk about it.  
  
Hector finally arrived, just ahead of Ms. Spencer, so Eliwood had no chance to talk to him before Ms. Spencer started yelling at them to get ready. Eliwood noticed the yelling and an icy stare seemed to be directed at Jaffar, and Eliwood wondered how much of it had had to do with the weekend's threat of the seamstress. With a sigh Eliwood picked up his script and handed Hector his copy. He noticed that neither Lyn nor Hector looked each other in the eye, or even traded insults. This was definitely getting interesting.  
  
"You can begin anytime, boys," Ms. Spencer told them with a curt nod.  
  
Eliwood sighed. "Ready Hector?"  
  
Hector nodded. "Yeah, I guess."  
  
"' Will you stay no longer? Nor will you that I go with you?'" Eliwood asked. The old language wasn't tough to read, but it was a nuisance. He wondered if Ms. Spencer would object to a MODERN version of the play, where everyone could understand what was being said.  
  
"'By your patience, no," Hector exclaimed in response. It seemed to Eliwood he was putting all his energy into the play, for whatever reason. It was having a good effect, though. "'My starts shine darkly over my. The malignancy of my fate might perhaps distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you your leave, that I may bear my evils alone. It were a bad recompense for your love, to lay any of them on you.'"  
  
"'Let me yet know of you whither you are bound,'" Eliwood winced. His character was basically gay, and he knew it. Still, he reasoned, it was ONLY a play, so he might as well go along with it.  
  
"'No, sooth, sir; my determinate voyage is mere extravagancy. But I perceive in you so excellent a touch of modesty, that you will not extort from me what I am willing to keep in;...'" Hector trailed off for a second there and seemed to stare at his paper. Eliwood glanced quickly at the sea of students and saw Lyn doing almost the exact same thing with her paper.  
  
"HECTOR!" Eliwood hissed as quietly as he could.  
  
"Ah! 'therefore it charges me in manners the rather to express myself. You must know of me then, Antonio, my name is Sebastian, which I call'd Rodorigo. My father was that Sebastian of Messaline, whom I know you have heard of. He left behind him myself and a sister, both born in an hour. If the heavens had been pleas'd, would we so have ended! But you, sir, alter'd that, for some hour before you took me from the breach of the sea was my sister drown'd.'" Hector spoke with such accusation the last part of his lines that Eliwood was hard-pressed not to stare at him.  
  
"'A-Ala-alas the day!'" Eliwood stumbled over his words.  
  
"'A lady, sir, though it was said she much resembled me, was yet of many accounted beautiful; but though I could not with such estimable wonder overfar believe that, yet thus far I will boldly publish her: she bore a mind that envy could no but call fair. She is drown'd already, sir, with salt water, though I seem to drown her remembrance again with more.'"  
  
"'Pardon me, sir, your bad entertainment,'" as Eliwood apologized as the lines dictated, he felt the need to apologize to Hector at the same time, as if his prying had somehow been a violation. It was an odd feeling, and it made Eliwood feel guilty.  
  
"'O good Antonio, forgive me your trouble.'"  
  
"'If you will not murther me for my love, let me be your servant,'" Eliwood offered. Here it was: gay city. He was going to pay for this later.  
  
"'If you will not undo what you have done, that is, kill him whom you have recover'd, desire it not. Fare ye well at once; my bosom is full of kindness, and I am yet so near the manners of my mother, that upon the least occasion more mine eyes will tell tales of me. I am bound to the Count Orsino's court. Farewell.'" He said, and stalked to the edge of the stage, where he – and Eliwood – were stopped by more than a few of the class actually APPLAUDING – without Ms. Spencer's encouragement. Eliwood smiled and clapped along with them, because it was for Hector they did so, not him. And Hector deserved it, for the performance he had delivered. Hector, in a rare display of modesty, looked at his feet and headed to his seat, taking only a brief glance at Lyn. This gesture made both of them look away and turn slightly red.  
  
"'The gentleness of all the gods go with thee! I have many enemies in Orsino's court, else would I very shortly see thee there. But come what may, I do adore thee so that danger shall seem a sport, and I will go,'" Eliwood finished and sat down, not a few of the guys making cat calling noises, which ended abruptly with a screech from Ms. Spencer.

* * *

(A/N – since we appear to be having problems with our translators (Lyn and Ninian), we offer a translation from : "Somewhere near the coast of Illyria, we meet two men who have not yet appeared in the play. One of them is called Antonio, and he has been hosting the other in his home. This other man is none other than Sebastian, the twin brother of Viola, who she believes has drowned. It seems that Antonio took Sebastian into his home when he washed up after the shipwreck and has been caring for him ever since. At first, Sebastian gave him a false name, but now that he plans to leave Antonio and go wandering, he decides to tell his benefactor his true identity and the tale of his sister, who he assumes drowned in their shipwreck. We learn here that Sebastian and Viola's father is long dead, and so Sebastian assumes that he has no family left. He is still devastated by the loss of his sister and is preparing to go wandering through the world, with little care as to what the future will hold. Antonio urges Sebastian to let him come with him on his journey. It is clear that Antonio has become very fond of Sebastian and does not want to lose him. But Sebastian is afraid that his travels will be dangerous, and he urges Antonio to let him go alone. After Sebastian leaves to go to Orsino's court, Antonio ponders the situation: he wants to follow his friend and help him, but he has many enemies in Orsino's court and is afraid to go there. He cares about Sebastian so much, however, that he decides to face the danger and follow him to Orsino's court anyway." We will now return you to our regular programming.)

* * *

"Good job, Eliwood," Ninian smiled at him as he sat down. Eliwood smiled at her and sat down, taking another quick glance at Hector and Lyn. They seemed to not be looking at each other, but their chairs had somehow gravitated closer together. On impulse, Eliwood twisted around and looked to were Erk and Serra were sitting. Serra was practically hanging off Erk's arm, and the pained look on Erk's face, Eliwood suspected, was more than a little forced. He was going to have to talk to Erk and Serra, and see if Hector had been acting weird Saturday night; since it was entirely possible he had.  
  
"Ok, next scene! Viola and MALVOLIO get up there!" Ms. Spencer seemed to be trying to get rid of her stress by yelling at Jaffar as much as possible. Eliwood couldn't blame her as he sat back to watch.

* * *

Jaffar's POV

* * *

It had been a more than little weird day. First was Erk: since when was he with Serra? Nino had been happy for the two of them, and he tolerated her chattering about Erk. After all, he wasn't competition anymore. Not with Serra clinging to his arm. The other was Hector. He'd overheard more than a few people talking about his clumsiness in chemistry, and he'd seen him holed up in the boys bathroom. The fact that Lyn had acted nearly the same way in their lab was equally interesting. They were both hands-on, practical people. Sure, Hector hated his guts; that didn't stop him from speculating about his love life. From the signs, it looked like the two of them might be getting together. They would bear watching. However, at the moment, it was him and Nino, on the stage, at the same time, so he'd tolerate it again. He was a little put out by the fact he had to be mean to her, though.  
  
"'Were not you ev'n now with the Countess Olivia?'" He asked, his rough voice making him sound harsh. Harsher than he meant to be, in any case. Nino seemed to be used to it, though.  
  
"'Even now, sir; on a moderate pace I have since arriv'd but hither,'" Nino answered politely, an innocent look on her young face. Jaffar looked at her for longer than he meant to –he would never call it staring- and quickly bent his head to the paper.  
  
"'She returns this ring to you, sir.'" He winced. No one could EVER mistake Nino for a boy. Unless they looked only at her name, or something. And if anyone ever DID mistake her for a boy, he'd kill them. Most people knew that, but there were always a few idiots around. "'You might have sav'd me my pains, to have taken it away yourself. She adds, moreover, that you should put your lord into a desperate assurance she will none of him. And one thing more, that you be never so hardy to come again in his affairs, unless it be to report your lord's taking of this. Receive it so.'"  
  
"'She took the ring of me, I'll none of it,'" Nino said, drawing herself up in indignance. Jaffar watched her, smiling to himself. She was a good actress, even if she was still three heads shorter than he was.  
  
"'Come, sir,'" He winced slightly again. This play was not going to be kind to him. "'you peevishly threw it to her; and her will his, it should be return'd. If it be worth stooping for, there it lies, in your eye; if not, be it his that finds it.'" He turned and walked to the edge of the stage, stopping near the stairs and turning to watch her as she turned to the audience, her green eyes wide in innocence and concern.  
  
"'I left no ring with her. What means this lady? Fortune forbid my outside have not charm'd her! She made good view of me; indeed so much that methought her eyes had lost her tongue, for she did speak in starts distractedly. She loves me sure, the cunning of her passion invites me in this churlish messenger. None of my lord's rings? Why, he sent her non. I am the man! If it be so, as 'tis, poor lady, she were better love a dream. Disguise, I see thou are a wickedness wherein the pregnant enemy does much. How easy is it for the proper false in women's waxen hearts to set their forms! Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we, for such as we are made of, such we be. How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly, and I (poor monster) fond as much on him; and she (mistaken) seems to dote on me. What will become of this? As I am a man, my state is desperate for my master's love; as I am woman (now alas the day!), what thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe! O time, thou must untangle this, not I; it is too hard a knot for me to untie.'"  
  
Jaffar watched her smile as she finished and move towards where he waited on the steps. She was special, Nino. For as long as he could, he'd be with her, her silent support in anything and everything she did. So long as that something wasn't marrying Erk or some other guy. Jaffar nodded to her and they made their way back to their seats.  
  
"Alright class," Ms. Spencer's voice cracked over the heads of the other students. "You're dismissed for the day." She was still glaring at him. What was her problem? The seamstress had wanted him to strip, for crying out loud. She didn't need to see him ass-naked! She'd gotten what she deserved, when he'd pulled the knife out of his jeans. She hadn't needed to go into hysterics; almost all the guys carried knives, or guns. Of course, they boys she'd already done were some of the gentler boys, so it was altogether possible that his was the first knife she'd seen. Too bad for her. Without looking at Ms. Spencer Jaffar left the gym, his steps slower than normal to allow Nino to walk beside him.

* * *

Back to Hector's POV...

* * *

The rest of the day went more or less smoothly. Lyn had slipped Hector a note, to which he'd agreed, and the two managed to get through the rest of the day with minimal damage. He noticed Eliwood looking at him oddly a few times, but he ignored it. Last class was biology, which everyone slept through anyway, so it passed by alright.  
  
"What are you doing after school?" Lyn asked him and Eliwood as they stood by their lockers after classes.  
  
"As, damn!" Hector swore as he remembered. Lyn looked at him disapprovingly. "We have to go back for costume fittings." He said by way of explanation.  
  
"Why?" She asked. "I thought we did those on Saturday."  
  
"We did," Eliwood said gloomily. "But Jaffar said or did something that scared the hell out of the seamstress lady, so we all had to leave. Apparently we have a new one, since the old one refuses to come back."  
  
"I wonder who the new one is?" Lyn inquired, more to herself than anyone.  
  
"I heard it was some guy," Matthew said, joining their small circle.  
  
"A guy this time? Good," Hector nodded.  
  
"I also heard that he's a tough guy. Apparently, according to what the seamstress was babbling, Jaffar pulled a knife on her. According to what he told Nino, though, He was simply taking it out of his jeans when she told him to strip."  
  
"Did he mean to threaten her?" Lyn asked.  
  
"Lyn, this is JAFFAR. Use your head. What do you think?" Matthew asked her, giving her a sideways look. Lyn blushed at looked at her feet.  
  
"Ok, Ok, dumb question." She mumbled. Hector glared at Matthew a little, who wasn't paying much attention, before slamming his locker shut.  
  
"I guess we may as well go, huh?" Hector sighed to Eliwood.  
  
"May as well," Eliwood didn't look any happier than Hector felt and they walked with Matthew and Lyn down to the gym.  
  
"I'll see you after," Lyn promised Hector before leaving. Hector nodded before entering the gym.  
  
"Oh yeah, I meant to ask you Hector," Eliwood said. Hector winced; he knew what was coming. "Is there something with you and Lyndis?"  
  
"Look who's talking, Loverboy," Hector shot back, suddenly irritated by the turn in the conversation.  
  
"Ouch. Point Hector," Matthew grinned. Somehow, he'd been appointed referee in the impromptu "fencing match".  
  
"Shut up, Matthew," Hector snapped. "And just let it DROP Eliwood, I'm in no mood for it right now, got it?"  
  
Eliwood nodded. "Got it."  
  
Hector stalked to his regular placed and flopped down. This wasn't gonna be a pretty afternoon. Eliwood and Matthew seated themselves by him and were mostly silent, for which he was grateful. He was confused as it was, and he didn't need chatter interrupting his thoughts. Not that it really mattered. Regardless of whether Erk or Serra talked about it, his and Lyn's behaviour were probably more than enough signs that something was happening. They needed to work on that.  
  
They waited for about 5 minutes before Ms. Spencer entered the gym, followed by a man who seemed familiar. Hector took a second look and almost swore.  
  
"What's up, Hector?" Matthew asked.  
  
"That guy! He's Karla's brother!" Hector said, pointing at the guy behind Ms. Spencer. "That's Karel!"  
  
"Oh joy," Matthew said sarcastically. "I heard he was a holy terror."  
  
"I don't doubt it," Eliwood nodded.  
  
"I think we're all screwed." Hector said with a sigh.  
  
"Amen," Matthew agreed.

* * *

Whitney: and that's the end of another chapter. I won't ramble on today, so R&R! 


	8. Act 2, Scene 3: Cut!

Whitney: I'm BAAAaaaaAAACK!

Erk: Head for the hills!

Whitney: And in this episode of 'Twelfth Night' (maybe I should change that name .), we get some ACTION (if you want to call it that), some =more= romance, and... what else?

Erk: a few headaches from the actors!

Whitney: oh head! Headaches from the people trying to read Ye Olde English.

Heath: Can we flip it so that it's, like, I dunno, MODERN Shakespeare?

Whitney:...Now there's a thought. It might be fun to flip the script. By the way, did you know we're in for about 11 more chapters... 15 with Intermissions? Hehehehe...

Erk: Excuse me, I'm going to go find a cliff or something.

Karla: just tell Jaffar you have naked pictures of Nino. Or tell my brother you think his swordwork is clumsy. That'll kill you a lot quicker!

Jaffar/Karel: ... #pull out swrods#

Karel: You smell of blood...

Erk:...crap. #runs#

Whitney: Disclaimer stuff: I don't own it, any of it, never will, blah blah blah. I never get why I put this here.

Karla: is that why you forget it half the time?

Whitney: ...hm... probably.

Karla: .'

Whitney: now on with the show!

**

* * *

**

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

Hector wasn't in a very good mood. But then again, he rarely ever was. Especially when he had English class, which was every day. So he was grumpy, every day. It made one wonder how he kept friends, let alone got a girlfriend. The fact that he had missed most of his sleep the night before didn't help matters much. He was so tired he was almost walking into the walls of the school. Karel had kept the boys there for almost four hours – unnecessarily, Hector felt – while he got measurements for costumes. They were going to start having dress rehearsals soon, and Hector was dreading it immensely. And, of course, going along with the ton of good luck he was having, English was first thing.  
  
"Hey Hector," Eliwood greeted him, looking almost as tired as Hector. Eliwood had been there for almost as long, but Hector had been the last one out – probably because of the comments he had made about Karel. It wasn't entirely impossible the "holy terror" hadn't heard them. Which would explain a lot that Hector would prefer not to think about.  
  
"Huh," Hector grunted. He wasn't really in the mood for talking, and he doubted he could have strung a full sentence together anyway. Bah, he was screwed. It was only Tuesday, and the rest of the week was probably going to keep playing out along the same lines.  
  
The two of them got to the gym without too many mishaps, and Hector only walked into a corner once, although it hurt a lot. Stone had a tendency to do that. He almost missed the doorway into the gym, and if Eliwood hadn't noticed it, Hector may well have gone on walking. He could only pray that there were no costumes today, and that he wasn't doing any talking. He couldn't even remember if he was supposed to read today. He sure hoped not – neither he nor Eliwood could cover for the other if they tried to blunder through their scenes. Maybe it would be a long scene without Sebastian in it, and he could catch up on his sleep while the others talked. If Lyn let him, anyway. And that was always highly doubtful. Lyn almost never let him do anything, and her newfound "girlfriend" status probably hadn't changed that.  
  
"Hey guys!" Lyn greeted him with a cheerfulness Hector was not ready to face. She was almost always like this, sure, but today wasn't a good day for it. Just keep temper under control... just keep tongue under control... he repeated to himself. He would hate to piss her off so early in the morning.  
  
"Hey," He said tiredly.  
  
"Wow, what happened to you two?" Lyn asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Karla's brother happened," Eliwood groaned. "He kept us there for almost three hours."  
  
"It was after eight by the time I got home," Hector said, making a face. He wasn't going to mention that their homework had kept him up until nearly two in the morning. He wasn't a late night person, and normally he would have just left the homework, be he had learned that doing projects in high school was absolutely imperative, and he couldn't afford to flunk anything. Not when he was so close to getting out of school forever.  
  
"Eight? That's not so late."  
  
"It is when I had to make dinner, to chores, and finish that science project that took me four hours." Hector groaned.  
  
"There's something called 'doing things in advance,' Hector – ever heard of it?" Lyn asked him. Hector groaned. This was all he needed. Today was going to be absolute hell. And this was only the first class of the day. If he didn't get some sleep soon, he was going to cry – or worse.  
  
"Alright class!" Ms. Spencer chirped as she entered the gym. She seemed to be in a much better mood after Karel became the costume maker. Maybe she was just afraid Jaffar would pull a knife on her. No one really knew, and no one was going to ask. Ms. Spencer was weird enough as it was without anyone trying to UNDERSTAND her. "Act two, scene three! Toby and Andrew, you're up!"

* * *

Erk's POV

* * *

Erk ground his teeth together as Sain practically danced up to the front. At least gave him the chance to get away from Serra for a little while, but he was having to exercise powerful will control to prevent himself from looking over his shoulder at her. The whole school, naturally, knew they were going together, at least tentatively. There were little or no secrets when Serra was concerned – which is why Erk was curious about the fact that Lyn and Hector's relationship was practically a secret kept within class limits. Ah, well – it would get out eventually, he was sure. He'd make sure of it! It was a good way to get rid of the stress of playing a total idiot in the play.  
  
Onstage Sain grinned foolishly at him. Erk was certain that Sain meant for it to be a charming, gallant grin, but all he did was make himself even stupider than normal. The thought of the rumour that Sain actually had GOTTEN himself a girlfriend was disturbing. He pushed the thought out of his mind when Sain started talking – still without his script. How DID he memorize things so quickly?  
  
"'Approach, Sir Andrew. Not to be a-bed after midnight is to be betimes, and "deliculo surgere,"'" Sain stumbled slightly over the Latin –or whatever it was – and Erk smirked to himself. So mister high-and-mighty wasn't so perfect after all. Not that he didn't know that already, of course. "'thou know'st-'"  
  
"'Nay, by my troth,'" Erk interrupted him, as planned. "'I know not; but I know, to be up late is to be up late.'" At least this guy had SOME common sense. And it could've been worse – be could have been Malvolio. He had thought it would have been a better scene for him – until he'd found out what happened to Malvolio. Then he was only too happy to continue as the play's Super Idiot.  
  
"'A false conclusion,'" Sain waved Erk's comment. "'I hate it as an unfill'd can. To be up after midnight and too go to bed then, is early; so that to go to bed after midnight is to go t bed betimes. Does not our life consist of the four elements?'"  
  
Erk had no idea what Sain was supposed to be talking about – something about how after midnight was a new day, so going to be after midnight was going to be too early the next day – but it was even more stupid than his lines. At least 'Toby' could blame being drunk – he was semi-sober, at least. "'Faith, so they say, but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking.'"  
  
"'Th'art a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink.'" Hell yeah, he was a scholar – too smart to be in this stinking mess. But here he was. Surprise, surprise. For some reason, Erk believed he existed simply to serve as something for people to point and laugh at. "'Marian, I say! A stope of wine!'"

* * *

Matthew's POV

* * *

Matthew almost missed his cue to get up on the stage. He'd thought it was Rebecca who was up next, but he'd caught it just in time. He was much more awake than Eliwood, Hector and Heath – all three who had fallen victim to Karel. Matthew had simply forfeited the project for a note. That was the nice thing about being basically dishonest – he didn't need to worry about morals. Well, not too much anyway.  
  
"'Here comes the fool, i'faith,'" Erk said with as much forced enthusiasm as he could muster.  
  
"'How now, my hearts? Did you never see the picture of "we three"?'" Matthew grinned airily.  
  
"'Welcome, ass,'" Sain said with much sincerity. Matthew made a mental note to steal Sain's wallet as soon as he got the chance. "'Now let's have a catch.'"  
  
"'By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg, and so sweet a breath to sing, as the fool has. In sooth, thou wast in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spok'st of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of Quebes. 'twas very good i'faith. I sent thee sixpence for thy lemon. Hadst it?'" Erk sounded much better, Matthew noted, when he wasn't grinding his teeth together. He hadn't ground his teeth for a while.  
  
He bowed to Erk's compliment on his singing –since that's what it was- and grinned impishly. "'I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose is no whipstock. My lady has a white hand, and the Mermidons are no bottle- ale houses.'"  
  
"'Excellent!'" Man, Erk almost sounded genuinely excited. "'Why, this is the best fooling, when all is done. Now, a song.'"  
  
"'Come on, there is a sixpence for you,'" Sain encouraged. Matthew flinched inwardly. He didn't know if he could sing well, and if he couldn't... he didn't want to think about that. "'Let's have a song.'"  
  
"'There's a testril of me too. If one knight give a –'" Erk was cut off.  
  
"'Would you have a long-song, or a song of good life?'" Matthew asked innocently.  
  
"'A love-song, a love-song!'" Sain almost chanted, very excited. He reminded Matthew of a little boy on Christmas.  
  
"'Ay, ay, I care not for good life,'" Erk concurred. Matthew made another mental note to steal something from Erk too. Or stick naked pictures of Serra in his locker where Serra would see them.  
  
He sighed inwardly, then started singing.  
  
"'O mistress mine, where are you roaming? / O, stay and hear, your true- love's coming, / that can sing both high and low./ Trip no furthur pretty sweeting; / Journeys end in lovers meeting, / Every wise man's son doth know.'"  
  
There was a little silence that made Matthew's stomach squirm. Then there was almost an explosion of female squealing, a general babble. Looking out in the 'audience', he saw several girls staring in open adoration. He kinda liked it. He grinned and bowed to them, and got a standing ovation. From the girls, anyway. It took Ms. Spencer a good five minutes to regain order, and Matthew wasn't helping.  
  
"'Excellent good, I'faith,'" Erk said in a strangled voice. Matthew had the impression that Erk was trying not to reach over and strangle him.  
  
"'Good, good,'" Sain said without enthusiasm. Sain's sulkiness was easy to understand – Matthew got a better reception than him. But Erk wasn't so interested in self-ego boosting, so Matthew couldn't understand why he was angry. Then he looked again. Serra had been in the group that was screaming like girls at a rock concert, and that solved a lot. The only girls who hadn't screamed were Ninian and Lyn. No surprise. He'd have to work on that.  
  
"'What is love? 'Tis not hereafter;/ Present mirth hath present laughter;/ What's to come is still unsure./ In delay there lies no plenty,/ Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty/ Youth's a stuff will not endure.'"  
  
This time he was a bit louder, and much more sure of himself. As he'd predicted the girls –most of them- went absolutely wild, and Ms. Spencer gave up on controlling them and simply let themselves burn out. That took another ten or so minutes for Matthew to bask in the glory while Erk and Sain nearly strangled themselves in frustration.  
  
"'A mellifluous voice, as I am a true knight.'" Erk said. He was grinding his teeth again.  
  
"'A contagious breath,'" Sain said with equal suffering.  
  
"'Very sweet and contagious, I'faith,'" Erk said, his eye twitching. Matthew suddenly got the feeling he should be backing away.  
  
"'To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion. But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? Shall we rouse the night-owl in a catch that will draw three souls out of one weaver? Shall we do that?'" Sain asked Erk, a threatening note in his voice. Matthew suddenly realized it would probably be a good thing at this point to turn and run.  
  
"'An you love me, let's do't. I am dog at a catch.'" Erk grinned suddenly and Matthew felt trapped. They were going by the lines, to be sure – but it didn't look well for him, and the words were taking a very sinister meaning.  
  
"'By 'r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well,'" Matthew gulped, nervous. Please just CALM DOWN! He silently pleaded.  
  
"'Most certain,'" Erk said with no hint of slowing down. If anything, he was advancing. "'Let our catch be "Thou knave."'" Uh oh...  
  
"'"Hold thy peace, thou knave," knight? I shall be constrain'd in't to call thee knave, knight.'" Matthew backed up as Sain joined Erk in his advance on Matthew. A few people had caught on to what was happening, and snickers were drifting up.  
  
"''Tis not the first time I have constrain'd one to call me knave. Begin, fool. It be begins "hold thy peace,"'" Erk's hand twitched.  
  
"Uh, um..." Matthew glanced over his shoulder as the stage wall rapidly moved in. "'I shall never begin if I hold my peace.'" Oh, shit, oh shit......  
  
"'Good, I'faith,'" Erk said, cracking his knuckles. "'Come, begin!'"  
  
Matthew knew it was coming, but that didn't stop him from getting Erk's fist right in his face. Sain was there too, adding to the pain by trying to hold him down. The class erupted in screams and yells, and all- around general panic at the three-person fight on the stage. Ms. Spencer was yelling, but definitely not willing to wade in there and break them apart. Even Kent wasn't about to get involved. It was Lyn, her tomboy blood boiling, who jumped on the stage and got involved. But when someone hit her, Hector quickly involved himself as well. In a matter of moments Sain and Erk had backed off, while Matthew was leaned against the wall, panting. Lyn was sitting on the stage, a hand to her cheek where someone's fist had connected. Erk had a black eye, Sain had a split lip and a bloody nose, and Matthew had scratches on his face and a cut on his forehead. Lyn had a bruise, and Hector was on the verge of having an explosion. Neither Erk nor Sain was foolish enough to decide to attack Matthew again. The five endured a ten-minute lecture from Ms. Spencer – who looked as angry as Hector – before the class was given a quick break while the five fighters were allowed to visit the school nurse.  
  
"What they hell were you two DOING?" Hector was almost screaming at Erk and Sain. When a teacher screeched at them from inside a classroom, Hector promptly swore back at them so badly the teacher didn't even venture into the hallway. Hector definitely wasn't in the mood for idiots, and they had just hurt his girlfriend.  
  
Sain gave some small, pathetic excuse about Matthew insulting him, and Hector replied so scathingly that Sain looked at his shoes the rest of the way. Erk didn't even bother to reply and Hector spent the remained of the 'trip' swearing while Lyn tried her best to calm him down. Although, Matthew noted, she didn't look all that upset, since Hector HAD come to her rescue, so to speak. He wasn't about to mention that, though.  
  
When they finally reached the nurse's, they got another lecture as she patched them all up as best she could. The only one without any real injuries was Hector, so he just stood there glaring at Erk and Sain. It took them a good ten to fifteen minutes – Matthew wasn't good with time when he was trying to keep the blood out of his eyes – and it was very uncomfortable between the nurse and the lord.

* * *

Lyn's POV

* * *

It felt like a long time before they were finally allowed to make their way back to the gym. The hallways were much quieter without Hector's swearing, and Lyn, personally, was thankful. It was almost impossible to get him calmed down after his temper got up. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him angry, of course, but it was one of the worst cases. It probably had something to do with his lack of sleep. He'd been asleep – or semi- asleep – for most of the scene, and had only woken up when the girls went wild over Matt. Then, of course, there was her jumping into the fight since no one else would. She couldn't be sure, but she thought she'd seen Karla about to join her when Hector got involved. That had ended everything, and she wasn't sure if she was upset or not. Maybe she should talk with Hector about fighting lessons; he'd ended the last one with speed if not style.  
  
"Well then, are we all ready to begin again?" Ms. Spencer was still in a pretty good mood, which was a surprise to almost everyone. Everyone thought she'd explode like a volcano, but she kept her cool. There was definitely something up, but no one was going to ask.  
  
"I guess so..." Erk grumbled.  
  
"Of course, Milady," Sain said, actually bowing. Lyn raised an eyebrow. This was kind of creepy. In the play, she could understand this behaviour. But it was like Sain constantly lived in the middle ages or something, despite the fact he walked around a CD player blaring his ears off, with the last fashions, with a stylish car, and with brand-name shoes. He was a modern boy living in a medieval world. Maybe she should look into a nut house for him.  
  
Ms. Spencer didn't even seem to notice Sain's odd behaviour, and nodded for them to start right away. Lyn and Hector exchanged a glance, and they both shared raised eyebrows. They entered together, and Lyn was aware that her face was getting very hot, and she prayed that it wasn't so red that people noticed she was blushing or thought she was crying. She didn't need those two things, to be honest.  
  
Erk, Sain and Matthew, all bandaged in various locations and to varying degrees, re-mounted the stage. Or tried too – as Erk passed Serra, she, very loudly, screamed at him that he was going to get a long rant about his fighting after the class. Lyn was sure that Erk was going to do his best to avoid his over-bearing girlfriend as much as possible. Not that he'd have much luck if Serra put her mind to it. No one could hide from Serra when she was determined. The three boys were joined by Rebecca, who was the only one who looked even remotely normal at this point.

* * *

Rebecca's POV

* * *

The fight had been a shock to the whole class, although they should have seen it coming. Onstage, Matthew was as far away from Erk and Sain as he could get without being obvious, and Rebecca placed herself between Matthew and the other two. When she faced them, she didn't really have to pretend to be angry, as her character was.  
  
"'What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady have not call'd up her steward Malvolio and bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me!'" It was remarkable to her how everything seemed to fit: she could be yelling at them for the singing (as was intended), or for the fight that had occurred a while ago (as she was doing).  
  
"'My lady's a Cataian, we are politicians, Malvolio's a Per-a-Ramsey, and- '" Sain, horribly, broke into song. "' "Three merry men be we!"'" It wasn't actually THAT bad, but it didn't come close to Matthew's hidden talent. "'Am not I consanguineous? Am I not of her blood? Tilly-vally! Lady!'" And he broke into song again. "' "There dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady."'"  
  
"'Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.'" Matthew said with his normal roughish manner. Maybe Sain should take lessons from Matthew. He always seemed to be trying to be like him anyway.  
  
"'Ay, he does well enough if he be dispos'd, and so do I too. He does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural.'" Erk replied, with a hard edge to his voice that wasn't supposed to be there.  
  
Sain started singing again, and Rebecca involuntarily covered her ears. It wasn't BAD singing, it was just that Sain seemed to think that louder was better, and his singing was VERY loud. "' "O, the twelfth day of December-"'" Where was Jaffar?  
  
"'For the love o' God, PEACE!'" She almost screamed. She almost screamed again when Jaffar appeared right at her elbow with very little sound. She hadn't even heard him coming.  
  
"'My masters, are you mad?'" He asked, his voice deadly ice. "'or what are you? Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an alehouse of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your coziers' catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you?'" he wasn't yelling, he hadn't even raised his voice. If anything, it was quieter, and it sent a chill down Rebecca's spine. He was creepy normally, and even more so when playing Malvolio, who seemed to bring out the coldest in him.  
  
"'We did keep time, sir, in our catchers. Sneck up!'" Sain tried to smile at Jaffar, but that was very nearly impossible.  
  
"'Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me tell you, that though she harbors you as her kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If you can separate yourself and you misdemeanours, you are welcome to the house; if not, an it would please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell.'" Jaffar said in his icy voice, his eyes never leaving Sain's very uncomfortable-looking face.  
  
"' "Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone,"'" Sain sang again. Rebecca was beginning to wish he would stop.  
  
"'Nay, good Sir Toby,'" she tried to stop him. It was useless, of course, because he kept on singing.  
  
"' "His eyes do show his days are almost done."'"  
  
"Is't even so?'" Jaffar asked quietly. Things were getting dangerous – really. Rebecca wasn't sure Jaffar was just reading from the play.  
  
"' "But I will never die!"'" Sain was still singing.  
  
"'Sir Toby, there you lie,'" Matthew said with his usual finesse.  
  
"'This is much credit to you,'" Jaffar commented to Matthew, his eyes still colder – colder, even, if possible. It was well-known Jaffar and Matthew had some history together, and no one ever asked why they hated each other with such passion.  
  
"' "Shall I bid him go?"'" Sain was STILL singing.  
  
"' "What and if you do?"'" Matthew sang back, and there were a few sighs from the girls. And a few frustrated sighs from the boys.  
  
"' "Shall I bid him go, and spare not?"'" would you STOP SINGING, Sain, please?  
  
"' "O no, no, no, no, you dare not!"'" Matthew sang back one last line.  
  
"'Out o' tune sir! Ye lie.'" Sain exclaimed to Matthew before turning to Jaffar. How he could look Jaffar in the eye was beyond Rebecca, but she knew she'd have to do it as well before too long. "'Art any more than a steward? Dost thou think because thou art virtuous there shall be no more cakes and ale?'" he demanded.  
  
"'Yes, by Saint Anne, and ginger shall be hot I' the mouth too.'" Matthew joined in the attack against Jaffar.  
  
"'Th'art I' the right. Go, sir, rub your chin with crumbs. A stope of wine, Maria!'" Sain cried, turning to Rebecca. She was a little embarrassed to find she blushed a little when he looked at her.  
  
"'Mistress Mary, if you priz'd my lady's favor at any thing more than contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil rule,'" Jaffar told her icily. Rebecca noticed his voice sounded harsher when he talked to her, but she couldn't understand why. "'She shall know of it, by this hand,'" He said raising one hand threateningly. Rebecca glanced quickly at Nino, who winked. Nino was her best friend; Jaffar wouldn't do anything to her... right? She sighed. Everyone was afraid of Jaffar, maybe even Nino. It made things very hard sometimes. She looked at Jaffar's back as he left the stage.  
  
"'Go shake your ears,'" she called after him, shaking her head in a show of anger.  
  
"' 'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's a-hungry, to challenge him the field, and then to break promise with him and make a fool of him.'" Erk suggested, looking after Jaffar with the all-familiar jealousy. He may well be going out with Serra, but that didn't mean he'd stopped liking Nino. That might make things interesting later on. Maybe Rebecca and Nino should have a chat later on: Rebecca wanted some tips on how to pick up boys.  
  
"'Do't knight. I'll write thee a challenge, or I'll deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.'" Sain said, his sense of chivalry practically screaming, his face excited.  
  
"'Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for to-night,'" Rebecca interrupted. She had a feeling things might get out of hand again if she didn't. Everyone was still a little jumpy from the fight earlier. "'Since the youth of the Count's was to-day with my lady, she is much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me alone with him. If I do not gull him into an ayword, and make him a common recreation, do not think I have wit enough to lie straight in my bed. I know I can do it!'" She pressed, suddenly excited. This was going to be fun!  
  
"'Possess us, possess us, tell us something of him,'" Sain was sharing her excitement.  
  
"'Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.'"  
  
"'O, if I thought that, I'd beat him like a dog!'" Erk exclaimed.  
  
"'What, for being a puritan? Thy exquisite reason, dear knight?'" Sain asked, either confused or incredulous, Rebecca wasn't sure.  
  
"'I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason good enough.'" Erk replied defensively.  
  
"'The dev'l a puritan that he is, or any think constantly but a time- pleaser; an affectioned ass, that cons state without book and utters it by great swarths; the best persuaded of himself, so cramm'd (as he thinks) with excellencies, that is his grounds of faith that all that look on him love him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause to work!'" Rebecca was excited now. She had been a long time memorizing her lines, and was proud of herself. They were still allowed to bring scripts with them, but the sooner the memorized their lines, the better.  
  
"'What wilt thou do?'" Sain asked her, moving closer. Rebecca moved closer, imitating a great secret.  
  
"'I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love, wherein, by the colour of his beard, the shape of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself most feelingly personated. I can write very like my lady your niece; on a forgotten matter we can hardly make distinction of our hands.'"  
  
"'Excellent!'" Sain cried. "'I smell a device!'"  
  
"I have't in my nose too.'" Erk nodded. He may not like being in the play, but he got to make fun on Jaffar, so he'd go along with it as far as he could with great pleasure.  
  
"'He shall think by the letters that thou wilt drop that they come from my niece, and that she's in love with him!'" Sain was grinning broadly now, his emerald eyes gleaming with mischief.  
  
"'My purpose is indeed a horse of that colour,'" Rebecca grinned.  
  
"'And your horse now would make him an ass,'" even ERK was grinning now. This was infectious.  
  
"'Ass, I doubt now.'"  
  
"'O, 'Twill be admirable!'" Erk cried.  
  
"'Sport royal, I warrant you. I know my physic will work with him. I will plant you two, and let the fool make a third, where he hall find the letter; observe his construction of it. For this night, to bed, and dream of the event,'" Rebecca said and almost skipped off the stage. Now things were getting fun.  
  
"'Good night, Penthiesilea,'" Sain said after Rebecca.  
  
"'Before me, she's a good wench,'" Erk nodded. Rebecca winced a little. It seemed everyone called her "wench" in this play. That was the one downside.  
  
"Good job," Nino said as Rebecca sat down near her.  
  
"Thanks," Rebecca grinned back.  
  
"Hey, Rebecca?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What do you think of Sain?"  
  
"Huh? Sain? I dunno. He's kind of a player, huh? I don't really like him, but he's not too bad for short periods of time when his attentions diverted. Why?"  
  
"'Cause you two were looking really close up there."  
  
"What? Oh crap..."  
  
Nino giggled.  
  
"'She's a beagle, true-bred, and one that adores me. What o' that?'" Sain continued airily. Rebecca made a face. She adored him? Right. Only in his dreams. The thought made her shudder.  
  
"'I was ador'd once, too,'" Erk said, and Rebecca noticed he seemed a little sad as he said that. She looked sideways at Nino, who was paying partial attention to the play, but more attention to snuggling against Jaffar, who didn't seem to mind too much.  
  
"'Let's to bed, knight. Thou hadst need send for more money,'" Sain kept plowing ahead, ignoring the tiny bit of regret in Erk's voice. Rebecca wondered if Serra noticed it. If she did, Erk was in for a bigger speech than already planned. All three had been lucky the fight was in Ms. Spencer's class, where they wouldn't get a detention. Ms. Spencer didn't believe in detention. She seemed to think that fighting was natural, and if they wanted to, that was fine so long as no one got killed. Plus, she needed everyone she could get for the play, and couldn't afford to lose anyone.  
  
"'If I cannot recover your niece, I am a foul way out,'" Erk said making a face.  
  
"'Send for money, knight;'" Sain insisted. "'if thou hast her not I' the end, call me cut.'" Whatever that meant.  
  
"'If I do not, never trust me, take it how you will,'" Erk said wearily.  
  
"'Come, come, I'll go burn some sack; 'tis too late to go to bed now. Come, knight; come, knight,'" Sain said, trying to be as convincing as possible. It was very hard to take Sain seriously, however, and his feeble attempt brought only giggles from the class.  
  
"Alright class, we're done. You're free to go, whether the bells rung or not!" Ms. Spencer yelled. There was yet another stampede, as usual, as everyone ran to take advantage of the few free minutes before the bell ringer came running through the halls.

* * *

Nino: No FE characters were harmed in the making of this episode

Serra: Not yet #waves healing staff# Erk's hiding from me

Rebecca: I wonder why

Serra: What's THAT supposed to mean?!

Nino: I wonder who's older, Serra or Erk?

Priscilla: Why are you wondering?

Nino: Well, I heard someone say/muse that Erk was 15 years or so. Is Serra the same age?

Karla: ... Remind me to check the Oswin-Serra conversation. I think they give a hint there.

Serra: What's the point of this?

Nino: ...Random musing?

Serra:.. OK.

Karla: why DO you go after Oswin, anyway?

Serra: I DIDN'T!

Karla: You did.

Serra: ...

Nino: she goes after Matthew, too.

Karla: OO

Priscilla: But I think Lyn still holds the record for being able to get the most guys.

Lyn: ... Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

All: ... dunno #shrug#

Whitney: ah, randomness. I love it. Hope you readers don't mind too much.

Nino: read and review... please?

Heath: otherwise Jaffar **just** might come after you with a killing edge.

Jaffar:...#tries to look innocent#

Nino:... that look just doesn't work for you Jaffar.

Jaffar:... #shrug#

Whitney: -.-;;


	9. Act 2, Scene 4: Gossip Girls and Guys

Whitney: I know it gets annoying readying all this Shakespeare stuff when most people are more interested in what goes on BETWEEN the people. So I can do some different things –  
  
Jaffar: Cancel the play!  
  
Whitney: and that's not one of them. I could cut the scenes short (especially when they're the longer chapters), or I could scenes into parts and interrupt them more. Which would mean this play would be something like 20 chapters.  
  
All: ... err...  
  
Whitney: Any other ideas would be good too. As shown earlier I'm switching POV's around because, I mean, Hector just sitting there listening isn't all the interesting. Kinda boring, in fact, ne? I'm just trying to make this an interesting as I can.  
  
Erk: #heavy sarcasm# and you're doing a WONDERFUL job  
  
Whitney: I know.  
  
Erk: -.-

Whitney: I don't own FE, Hoobastank, etc.

Nino: WOOOW O.O She did the disclaimer ALL by HERSELF!

Karla: Finally, we don't have to spoon feed her anymore!

All: wheeeeeeeeeee!

Whintey: -.-;;

* * *

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

"Yay. Hump day," Hector said, without too much enthusiasm. He may have caught up on his sleep but that didn't make him want to jump around like Serra was going. Apparently she'd hooked Erk into taking her on another date as an "apology" for the fight. If anything, Erk should be apologizing to Matthew, but no one ever dared argue with Serra. She used "illogical logic" and there was absolutely no guard against that. He's learned that a long time ago. So everyone just let Serra do what she wanted, no questions asked.  
  
That wasn't the only Date-rumour going around. As far as Hector had heard that day, there was Erk and Serra (on for tonight), Nino and Jaffar (top secret, but supposedly on for Friday or Saturday. There was also that ridiculous rumour that they were eloping), Him and Lyn (that hadn't been formalized yet, and he hadn't heard the date because they'd stopped talking the second they saw him), Sain and Rebecca (that was false, as of yet), and, of course, Eliwood and Ninian (on for Friday). It seemed like the entire class was hooking up with each other. Hector had the sinking feeling that he was part of the most screwed-up class in all of North America and beyond.  
  
He was probably right too.  
  
"Heya Hector!" Lyn – quite literally – came bouncing over to him. She had a grin on her face, and seemed no worse for the ware after her impromptu fight.  
  
"Hey, Lyn," He greeted her back. Without groaning too. That was a first. "Hey, were we going out sometime this week?"  
  
"Err..." Lyn looked a little startled at that, and then turned a little red. "No, I don't think so... were we?"  
  
"I don't think so, so no probably," Hector said with an inward sigh of relief.  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"Because according to rumour, we're one of the..." he paused to count the number of couples he'd heard of. "... Four or five couples going out sometime this week. One or two of those couples might even be true."  
  
"Other than us, who is there?" Lyn asked. She could be the gossip hound if she wanted to be. But then again, she WAS a teenage girl, and Hector had yet to meet ANY girl could resist any piece of gossip, true or not. There was something about girls that made them have to know everything that was going on in the world, and then fix it.  
  
He was just going to let Erk and Serra's first date slip on that score.  
  
"Err... there's Erk and Serra – "  
  
"Of course, they're a given. Almost all the girls heard Serra's lecture to Erk," Lyn grinned.  
  
"Nino and Jaffar're the second pair," Hector said before being interrupted again.  
  
"FINALLY!" Lyn exclaimed.  
  
He decided not to tell her about the eloping part. "Eliwood and Ninian are on for Friday, and Rebecca and Sain are the last two."  
  
Lyn made a face. "Rebecca and SAIN?!? Ugh!"  
  
"That's kind of what I thought. I don't think it's true, though. Sain likes Rebecca, and she might like him, but she's not about to stoop to his level yet. She's still hanging around with Lowen, so Sain's going to have his work cut out for him."  
  
"Lowen's not much better," Lyn protested. "All he thinks about is food!"  
  
"But not women," Hector countered. "He's not likely to cheat on her for another woman, where Sain would."  
  
"That's a point, I guess..." Lyn didn't look too happy about it. Hector couldn't blame her – at least Sain wasn't too bad to look at, but Lowen was another story. He also kept walking into things. It was a wonder he hadn't set his hair – as well as the school or his house – on fire when he was cooking. Hector had a feeling it was only a matter of time, however.  
  
"Ah, let it rest. Bells going to ring any moment – "  
  
**CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!** ...  
  
"- So we'd better get to class huh?" He finished with a sigh. He hated that bell, and he was learning to hate English class. It was still better than math, though.  
  
"Y-eah, let's go," Lyn sighed. Hector put his arm around her – more as an experiment than anything else – and "escorted" her to class.  
  
So he would never, ever use those exact words. This is PG13, so we'll leave it at that, shall we?  
  
"Hi guys!" Eliwood greeted them as they entered the "classroom" (AKA the gym). Like always, they were up front, and Hector, his arm STILL around Lyn, turned bright red as he walked down the aisle. This was beginning to look like a scene from a soap opera wedding in his mind, and it was more than a little creepy. Lyn looked like she was enjoying it, though.  
  
"Hey, you two." Hector grinned at them. "Are you still on for Friday?"  
  
The stunned look the two exchanged made Hector burst out laughing and Lyn giggled.  
  
"How did YOU know that?" Ninian gasped.  
  
"It's going around the class grapevine, along with about four other pairs, at least two of them false." Hector answered with a casual shrug.  
  
"Who are the others?" Ninian asked. There was DEFINITELY something about girls and gossip.  
  
"Erk and Serra," Hector started. Ninian was already giggling. Apparently she'd already heard about that. "Me and Lyn – "  
  
"Are you?" Eliwood asked, his eyes gleaming.  
  
"NO!" They both yelled. It eared them several odd looks and they quickly quieted down.  
  
"Anyway, who else?" Eliwood asked, a grin on his face.  
  
"Sain and Rebecca, you too, and Nino and Jaffar."  
  
"It's about time!" Eliwood and Ninian chorused. Hector had to cover his smile with a hand because that was exactly what Lyn said.  
  
"There's also this thing about Nino and Jaffar's date," Hector said with a grin. "There's a rumour that their "date" in cover-up for an elopement."  
  
"WHAAAAAT!?!" Lyn, Eliwood and Ninian yelled. THAT netted then more a lot of odd looks.  
  
"What's so shocking?" Ms. Spencer had entered when they were yelling and she was, apparently, as interested in gossip as any other female.  
  
"Oh, we were just... discussing school projects, Ms. Spencer!" Lyn exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, we were just shocked when, uh, Hector told us about his project," Ninian continued Lyn's lie. Now he was screwed.  
  
"Alright, that's good. What project is that, Hector?" Ms. Spencer asked. The entire class was now watching them, and Hector needed a good lie.  
  
"It's a secret, Ms. Spencer," Hector said with an innocent expression. "But I guess I can give you a bit of a preview." He grinned as he got an idea. "It's a study on students and lying to the teacher, and other members of the faculty. It's a report and graph, and includes examples."  
  
"Maybe I should look into that report Hector – I could use it as a guidebook," Ms. Spencer grinned. Hector nodded with a fixed, false smile.  
  
"Sure Ms. Spencer," he said, his hand twitching. Behind him Eliwood was on the verge of laughing. He made a vow to hurt Eliwood, the next chance he got. Not TOO hard, of course – Ninian might get mad at him if her boyfriend was in traction during their date.  
  
"Alright class, today it's Act one, Scene Four. Heath, Nino, and Rath."  
  
Heath and Rath walked to the stage with slight grimaces while Nino went on a head, bouncing excitedly. She was always excited, unless Jaffar got mad at her. Then, of course, Jaffar had to endure to ire of every girl in the class, so he didn't often get mad at her, if ever.  
  
This was promising to be a very long day...

* * *

Heath's POV

* * *

He was supposed to be a – if not the – main character, but he hadn't gotten to say many lines yet. The people who had had more time on stage were doing a good job – so he had to do better. And that was the only option.  
  
"Are you ready Heath?" Nino asked, looking up at him with those wide green, innocent eyes. It was a little disconcerting. He was starting to wish that he really COULD marry her at the end of the play. Of course, Jaffar would probably kill him in he did. He sighed inwardly.  
  
"Yeah, let's get going, 'K Rath?"  
  
"Let's go," Rath said curtly.  
  
"'Give me some music. Now good morrow, friends. Now, good Cesario, but that piece of song, that old and antique song we heard last night. Methought it did relieve my passion much, more than light airs and recollected terms of these most brisk and giddy-paced times. Come, but one verse,'" Heath said with a theatrical sigh.  
  
"'He is not here, so please your lordship, that should sing it,'" Rath said, totally deadpan. There was NO emotion in his voice at all.  
  
"'Who was it?'" Heath asked.  
  
"' Feste, the jester, my lord; a fool that the lady Olivia's father took much delight in. He is about the house.'" Rath said with a stiff bow.  
  
"'Go, seek him out, and play the tune the while!'" Heath ordered while Rath silently left the stage. Heath noticed, from the corner of his eye, Rath give Lyn on long look before returning to his seat.  
  
Below the stage Priscilla played random music. By accident she hit the "radio" tab and "The Reason" by Hoobastank come on. She went to change it but several girls yelled, "Leave it on!" so the play was suspended until the song ended.  
  
"Can we start now?" Ms. Spencer demanded.  
  
"Yes Ms. Spencer," Priscilla said, finally flipping on the music needed. Heath hoped the real sound effect and lightening person was better than Priscilla.  
  
"'Come hither, boy. If ever thou shalt love, in the sweet pangs of it remember me; for such as I am all true lovers are, unstaid and skittish in all motions else, save in the constant image of the creature that is belov'd. How dost thou like this tune?'" Heath asked Nino who stood to one side.  
  
"' It gives a very echo to the seat where Love is thron'd.'" Nino said, giving him a longing look. It was all theatre, Heath knew... or at least hoped. Heath liked Nino a lot, but Jaffar was way too violent for Heath's taste.  
  
"' Thou dost speak masterly: My life upon 't, young though thou art, thine eye Hath stay'd upon some favour that it loves; Hath it not, boy?'" Heath grinned. Nino was in love, but HE knew that in the play at least it was with him. Too bad it wasn't Priscilla playing Nino. That would be perfect.  
  
"'A... little, by your favour,'" Nino said, bowing a little to "her lord".  
  
"' What kind of woman is 't?'" Heath asked. It was odd, asking a girl – who was obviously NOT a boy – what girl she loved. He just hoped Jaffar would remember this was a PLAY.  
  
"' Of your complexion.'" Nino said, looking at him coyly.  
  
"' She is not worth thee, then. What years, i' faith?'" Heath said, waving away Nino's description.  
  
"'About your years, my lord,'"  
  
"' Too old, by heaven!'" Heath said with feigned shock. "'Let still the woman take An elder than herself; so wears she to him, So sways she level in her husband's heart: For, boy, however we do praise ourselves, Our fancies are more giddy and unfirm, More longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn, Than women's are.'" He said, staring off into space. He was glade there were finally props on set – sitting down helped him look like he WASN'T just daydreaming.  
  
"'I think it well, my lord.'"  
  
"'Then let thy love be younger than thyself, Or thy affection cannot hold the bent; For women are as roses, whose fair flower, Being once display'd, doth fall that very hour.'" Heath said to Nino touching her briefly. He didn't dare let his hand linger – Jaffar would kill him.  
  
"'And so they are: alas, that they are so; To die, even when they to perfection grow!'" Nino said with a longing sigh. Heath wondered if she was thinking about Jaffar in order to act so... realistically. He HOPED she was thinking about Jaffar...  
  
Rath re-emerged on the stage with Matthew in tow.  
  
"' O, fellow, come, the song we had last night. Mark it, Cesario, it is old and plain; The spinsters and the knitters in the sun, And the free maids that weave their thread with bones, Do use to chant it: it is silly sooth, And dallies with the innocence of love, Like the old age.'" He said, imperiously, pointing a finger at Nino.  
  
"'Are you ready, sir?'" Matthew asked.  
  
"'Ay; prithee, sing!'"  
  
The music changed. Apparently Priscilla managed to learn how to change the CD/tape or whatever.  
  
"'Come away, come away, death, And in sad cypress let me be laid; Fly away, fly away, breath; I am slain by a fair cruel maid. My shroud of white, stuck all with yew, O, prepare it! My part of death, no one so true Did share it.  
  
"' Not a flower, not a flower sweet, On my black coffin let there be strown; Not a friend, not a friend greet My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown. A thousand thousand sighs to save, Lay me, O, where Sad true lover never find my grave, To weep there!'" Matthew was an even better singer when he did it with music. Heath narrowed his eyes. He couldn't sing that well even if he tried. That was something to work on later.  
  
"' There 's for thy pains,'" Heath said, pantomiming tossing Matthew a coin.  
  
"' No pains, sir; I take pleasure in singing, sir,'" Matthew said with a grin. Yeah, Matthew took a pleasure in singing – it only got him ALL the girls in class threatening to break down his door.  
  
"' I'll pay thy pleasure, then.'" Heath said with a shrug.  
  
"' Truly, sir, and pleasure will be paid one time or another.'" Matthew said with wide-eyed "innocence."  
  
"'Give me now leave to leave thee,'" Heath said, his eyes drifting off to a far-away image.  
  
"'Now the melancholy god protect thee; and the tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta, for thy mind is a very opal. I would have men of such constancy put to sea, that their business might be every thing, and their intent every where; for that 's it that always makes a good voyage of nothing. Farewell,'" Matthew said with a sweeping bow before leaving.  
  
"'Let all the rest give place,'" he said when he 'noticed' everyone else was still there. Rath again left but Nino stayed where she was.  
  
"'Once more, Cesario, get thee to yond same sovereign cruelty. Tell her my love, more noble than the world, prizes not quantity of dirty lands; the parts that fortune hath bestow'd upon her, tell her, I hold as giddily as fortune; but 't is that miracle and queen of gems that Nature pranks her in attracts my soul.'" Heath said, his voice "full of longing" for Olivia.  
  
"'But if she cannot love you, sir?'" Nino asked timidly, looking concerned.  
  
"'I cannot be so answer'd!'" he cried, anguish dripping from his voice.  
  
"'Sooth, but you must. Say that some lady, as perhaps there is, hath for your love as great a pang of heart as you have for Olivia: you cannot love her; you tell her so; must she not, then, be answer'd?'" Nino said with a pained look, concern flitting across her face.  
  
"'There is no woman's sides can bide the beating of so strong a passion as love doth give my heart; no woman's heart so big to hold so much; they lack retention. Alas, their love may be call'd appetite— no motion of the liver, but the palate— that suffer surfeit, cloyment, and revolt; but mine is all as hungry as the sea, and can digest as much. Make no compare between that love a woman can bear me and that I owe Olivia.'" Heath tried to ignore Nino's look. It was so easy to believe she WAS in love with him – she was too innocent, and a good actress. Not a good combo in high school. Especially not when she had a violent, powerful, jealous boyfriend.  
  
"'Ay, but I know – '" She tried again.  
  
"'What dost thou know?'" Heath snapped at her.  
  
"'Too well what love women to men may owe; In faith, they are as true of heart as we. My father had a daughter lov'd a man, As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman, I should your lordship.'" She, of course, was her father's daughter. Just don't look at her, she has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, don't look at her...  
  
"'And what's her history?'" Heath asked.  
  
"'A blank, my lord. She never told her love, But let concealment, like a worm i' th' bud, Feed on her damask cheek; she pin'd in thought, And with a green and yellow melancholy, She sat, like patience on a monument, Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed? We men may say more, swear more; but indeed Our shows are more than will; for still we prove Much in our vows, but little in our love.'" Nino said with a great sigh and very convincing sadness.  
  
"'But died thy sister of her love, my boy?'" Heath asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"'I am all the daughters of my father's house, And all the brothers too; and yet I know not. Sir, shall I to this lady?'" she asked, changing the topic.  
  
"'Ay, that's the theme. To her in haste; give her this jewel; say, My love can give no place, bide no denay.'"  
  
"Very well done, class," Ms. Spencer applauded. Yes! He WAS the best. All bow to the Mighty Heath... "All right, break time. But hurry back so we can do the next scene."

* * *

Lyn's POV

* * *

"OK, all-knowing and intelligent one, care to explain that last scene to me?" Hector asked Lyn, who gave him a half bemused, half annoyed look.  
  
"You know, Hector, if you STAYED AWAKE during the play, you might get some of it, you know?" Eliwood said with a smirk.  
  
"Yeah, but that's so much WORK!" Hector whined.  
  
"Alright, Hector, fine: It starts off with – "Lyn checked her script. "Orsino observes that Cesario's in love. As we all know, "Cesario" is in love with "Orsino", but she can't TELL him that because Orsino thinks Cesario is a boy. Cesario presses on, telling him that the "woman" she loves looks and is the same age as Orsino. Orsino tells Cesario that "he'd" be better off loving a younger woman.  
"Then Orsino calls for Feste – Matthew – to sing a song," Lyn trailed off a little and sighed. "Feste sings about dying for love, etc. Then, of course, Orsino orders Cesario to go back to Olivia and declare his love for her again.  
  
"Cesario tries to remind Orsino that Olivia has denied his advances many times, and suggests that Orsino accept that Olivia is not romantically interested in him, just as a woman in love with Orsino but whom Orsino did not love would have to accept his lack of interest in her. Orsino says no woman can love with the same kind of passion as a man and Cesario disagrees. "He" tells the story of a woman "he" knew who died for the love of a man: the woman never told the man about her love but, instead, simply wasted away. Cesario tells Orsino that the girl is her father's daughter—leading Orsino, to think that it must be Cesario's sister. He asks if the girl died of her love, and Viola answers ambiguously. Orsino then gives her a jewel to present to Olivia on his behalf, and she departs." Lyn took a deep breath. "That's about it."  
"Thanks Lyn!" Hector surprised her by pecking on the cheek. Lyn looked away as she turned a little red. Eliwood and Ninian snickered.  
"C'mon you too – let's get out of the gym while we can. I think I'll go insane if I have to stay here much longer," Eliwood suggested, herding Ninian towards the door.  
"Eliwood! Wait up!" Hector said, starting after his friend. He stopped and looked back at Lyn. "Coming?"  
"Y-Yeah. I'll be right there!" she said. Hector nodded and ran to catch up. Lyn stood there for a little while trying to regulate her breathing before sprinting after her friends and – now official – boyfriend.

* * *

Whitney: guess what! I found that has the ENTIRE play ALL READY on the computer!

Erk:... soooo?

Whitney: So I can save TONS of time from not having to type! I can get things up faster!

Erk: ... wheeee.

Whitney: I hope you enjoyed chapter nine. I hope you aren't TOO annoyed with all "Ye Olde English". I try to put as much humour in here as I can.

Erk: and you are SO not successful

Whintey:... Oh well! And to elven girl-10: I might do a sequel if the demand is big enough. If you want to do one of your own, I wouldn't mind, but I'd pick a play that WASN'T written by Shakespeare :P

Nino: That's all for today!

Karla: so read and review and then do it again! :P


	10. Act 2, Scene 5: From Behind the Bush

Whitney: AHAHAHAHAH! I live! I live!

Erk: yipee.

Nino: It's about TIME!

Whitney:... yeah. I got lazy.

Heath: O.O What? No excuses?

Whitney: Nope.

Heath: O.O

Erk: #in shock#

Whitney: anyway, disclaimer thingymabob:

Don't own FE, Shakespeare, sparknotes, etc.

* * *

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

Recess was over too quickly, and Nils ran around the school #AGAIN!#, almost running over his sister and her boyfriend. He apologized hastily and ran on. Lyn, Ninian and Hector walked back as Eliwood limped along behind them, grumbling about the annoyance of little brothers. Ninian laughed at that, and Hector suspected – from the smirk on Nils' face when he ran Eliwood over – that they didn't get along to well, and Nils had probably walked in on them doing something "inappropriate" one (or two) times too many.  
  
The class was going in to the gym a lot faster this time than the normally did. Hector had a sneaking suspicion that they were all going to enjoy Jaffar's torment. It wouldn't surprise him in the SLIGHTEST in Jaffar skipped town on the day of the production. He just might too – if he could get away from Lyn long enough to skip town.  
  
Yeah right. And Erk was going to marry Serra.  
  
When they entered the gym they stared at the stage.  
  
In the ten minutes they were gone, the stage had gone from wood to garden.  
  
"When did they do this?" Ninian exclaimed.  
  
"WHO did this?" Hector asked, staring. There was a "pathway" (out of something like Bristol board painted brown), lined with "shrubs" (made of wood) and a cloth background hanging in the back (obviously), painted with short, stubby fruit trees. It was pretty good, for a high school play.  
  
"Do you like it?" someone asked. They group turned around to see some students from the grade 12 art class standing there looking at the set up critically. Isadora wrinkled her nose at it. "It isn't that great, because we were a little rushed, but it's not TOO bad."  
  
"Why are YOU here?" Hector asked.  
  
"Hector! Behave yourself!" Lyn glared at him.  
  
"Make me."  
  
"Hector!"  
  
"Fine, fine... slave driver..." he muttered. She heard him, of course, and punched him in the arm.  
  
"Always nice to see new lovebirds," Farina laughed. Farina, Isadora, Lucius, and Raven were, apparently, working with the grade 11 class, because they were all standing there, critiquing the background. Except for Raven. He was glaring around, almost daring anyone to go near him. Or his sister, since his gaze often rested on her. Hector privately thought Heath might want to keep his distance, otherwise he might run into trouble with her older brother. Unless you were Jaffar (or insane, but a few people argued Jaffar was both), you didn't cross Raven.  
  
"Wonderful job, boys and girls!" Ms. Spencer beamed at the grade 12's. Hector had a feeling they had extra points headed their way. "I'll talk to the art teacher and see if I can't get you some extra points for all of this!" Bingo!  
  
"Alright class!" Ms. Spencer turned to her current students while the older kids took seats at the back. "Let's see if we can't get through another scene before the bell rings!"  
  
"And if the bell DOES ring, well ain't that too bad?" Hector muttered.  
  
"Be NICE Hector!" Lyn frowned at him.  
  
"Yes mother..."  
  
"Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian! Sain, Erk and Kent! I want you onstage!" Ms. Spencer yelled. Very loudly. Matthew FINALLY got that bloody bullhorn away from her, and look what happens. Her voice goes up a decibel level. From 100 to 151. He groaned and seated himself in the front.

* * *

Sain's POV

* * *

He was a little disappointed that Rebecca wasn't in the scene, but then, he couldn't have everything. She'd be along later, at least. But WHY did he have to do one of the best scenes EVER with the three most serious people on the planet? I mean, talk about miscasting! ERK as Andrew? KENT as Fabian? What was this world coming too? And Jaffar as Malvolio! While that was a miscasting, per se, Jaffar would probably kill them all for the humiliation he was going to suffer at the hands of the audience.  
  
"Are we ready?" He asked with a smile that made the ladies swoon. At least, he thought it made them swoon. Maybe not. Oh well. It was all good.  
  
"Huh," Erk grunted.  
  
"I believe we are ready to proceed," Kent said stiffly. Sain rolled his eyes. This guy lived in the middle ages. Sure Kent was his best friend, but Kent was so tight he didn't even know what the word FUN meant. It made Sain annoyed; half the trouble he got into was trying to get Kent to even crack a SMALL smile. Ha. The only smile Kent EVER cracked was when that old HAG of a teacher FINALLY quit. Ms. Hannah or something. The creepiest teacher to ever walk the earth. She seemed to think Kent was the best thing since sliced bread, and creeped him out at every opportunity. They were ALL glad when she was gone.  
  
"Well, let's go then!" Sain grinned. "'Come thy ways, Signior Fabian.'"  
  
"'Nay,"' Kent replied. "'I'll come: if I lose a scruple of this sport, let me be boil'd to death with melancholy.'" This, coming from KENT? Hah! Did hell just freeze over or something?  
  
"' Wouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly rascally sheep-biter come by some notable shame?'" Sain asked with ridiculous exaggeration and accentuation. He was having the time of his life, acting in this play. PLUS, he got to work with the most beautiful girls in school! Lyn, Karla, Rebecca, and Priscilla... he was just going to kinda forget about Serra for the moment.  
  
"' I would exult, man; you know he brought me out o' favour with my lady about a bear-baiting here.'" Kent said. It was so IRRITATING! His face never changed. Sain twitched inwardly. This play was NEVER going to be a success if these guys didn't get their acts together!  
  
"' To anger him, we'll have the bear again; and we will fool him black and blue: shall we not, Sir Andrew?'" Sain grinned at the scowling Erk. It was amazing how alike Raven and Erk were when you ignored age, hair and eyes. It was creepy. Maybe they were separated at birth or something.  
  
"' And we do not, it is pity of our lives!'" Erk exclaimed with ferverance. That caught Sain off guard. Erk... getting into it? Geez! He was tempted to ask him "who are you, and what have you done with Erk?" but he clamped his teeth together. Just let him roll with it – it might even be fun!  
  
"Oops!" there was a scrapping of chairs and Rebecca came running on to the stage, her pigtails flying. She was smiling, like always, her bright white teeth sparkling...  
  
---This is SAIN'S point of view. What did you expect? I think we can skip the description though, we all know what Rebecca looks like. ---  
  
"' Here comes the little villain. How now, my metal of India!'" He greeted her with the best smile he could possibly give. She looked at him and smiled back, and he, of course, missed the snicker that accompanied it.  
  
"' Get ye all three into the box-tree; Malvolio's coming down this walk. He has been yonder i' the sun practising behaviour to his own shadow this half hour. Observe him, for the love of mockery; for I know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of him. Close, in the name of jesting! Lie thou there,'" she dropped a piece of paper in lieu of a real envelop. "'For here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling.'" She then ran off the stage again. Sain sighed. The best moments were gone so fast... then the three of them crouched behind the "box tree" (a tree in the form of a box, that was so small they all had to have their heads sticking out. But then again, that was the purpose... wasn't it?  
  
Jaffar came up the stage steps – most people were too last to wait off- stage – and, with a sigh, "walked" up and down the "path". Actually, it was more like aggravated pacing, but whatever worked for him.  
  
"' 'T is but fortune; all is fortune. Maria once told me she did affect me; and I have heard herself come thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one of my complexion. Besides, she uses me with a more exalted respect than any one else that follows her. What should I think on 't?'" He was talking to himself in his hoarse, creepy voice. Sain shivered. He was glad that he'd learned Nino was Jaffar's girlfriend BEFORE he hit on her. Of course, he'd then "mentioned" it to his then-girlfriend, and she'd hit on HIM. He'd had a lump on his head for a week.  
  
"' Here 's an overweening rogue!'" Sain grinned.  
  
"' O, peace!'" Kent snapped. Leave it to Kent. "'Contemplation makes a rare turkey-cock of him; how he jets under his advanc'd plumes!'" In other words, shut up so we can hear him!  
  
"' 'Slight, I could so beat the rogue!'" Erk declared, even louder that Sain. If Jaffar really WAS Malvolio, they'd all have been caught by that.  
  
"' Peace, I say!'" Sain shushed him.  
  
"' To be Count Malvolio!'" Jaffar declared. Or... stated. Jaffar didn't declare anything unless Nino made him, or it was about Nino.  
  
"'Ah, rogue!'" Sain muttered.  
  
"' Pistol him, pistol him,'" Erk urged.  
  
"' Peace, peace!'" Sain hushed him again. Erk didn't look too happy about it, and Sain hoped they weren't about to repeat yesterdays little stage fight.  
  
"' There is example for't: the lady of the Strachy married the yeoman of the wardrobe,'" Jaffar continued, trying to ignore the three very loud boys. It wasn't working well – one of his eyes were twitching.  
  
"' Fie on him, Jezebel!'" Erk almost yelled.  
  
"' O, peace!'" Kent snapped at him. "'Now he's deeply in; look how imagination blows him'" did Sain detect a slight snicker in that last statement?  
  
"' Having been three months married to her, sitting in my state,—'" Jaffar was "daydreaming" now, although that glint in his eye hinted otherwise.  
  
"' O, for a stone-bow, to hit him in the eye!'" Sain declared.  
  
"' Calling my officers about me, in my branch'd velvet gown; having come from a day-bed, where I have left Olivia sleeping,—'" There was a DEFINATE twitch there. Sain guessed Jaffar didn't like talking about anyone but Nino.  
  
"' Fire and brimstone!'" Sain yelled, in 'indignation'.  
  
"' O, peace, peace!'" Kent almost grabbed his arm. Maybe Kent was getting a little TOO much practise at trying to keep Sain under control...  
  
"' And then to have the humour of state; and, after a demure travel of regard, telling them I know my place, as I would they should do theirs, to ask for my kinsman Toby,—'" there was a faint flicker of a smile there. Apparently Jaffar didn't like Sain too much, and enjoyed imagining about getting rid of him.  
  
"'Bolts and shackles!'" Sain growled in a stage whisper, or whatever actors called it.  
  
"' O, peace, peace, peace! now, now.'" Sain could not image Kent saying "now, now" like an old granny. The thought made him snicker and Kent glanced at him sharply.  
  
"' Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make out for him: I frown the while; and perchance wind up my watch, or play with my—'" Jaffar paused. "'Some rich jewel.'" He concluded. "'Toby approaches; curtsies there to me,—'" there was DEFINITELY a smile there now.  
  
"' Shall this fellow live?'" Sain demanded. He almost meant it.  
  
"' Though our silence be drawn from us with cars, yet peace!'" Kent almost ordered it. Leave it to Kent. ERK would have gone along with him! Hell, he did when they attacked Matthew...  
  
"' I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard of control,—'" Jaffar was still daydreaming, although there was a little more life behind it.  
  
"' And does not Toby take you a blow o' the lips, then?'" Sain asked acidly.  
  
"' Saying, 'Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on your niece, give me this prerogative of speech,'—'"  
  
"' What, what?'" it seemed that the entire monologue was between him and Jaffar now.  
  
"' 'You must amend your drunkenness.'—'"  
  
"' Out, scab!'" Sain was almost yelling.  
  
"' Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of our plot!'" It seemed even Kent WANTED to go along with this now, because there was a note of conspiracy about him.  
  
"' 'Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a foolish knight,'—'"  
  
"' That's me, I warrant you,'" Erk said with some disgust.  
  
"' 'One Sir Andrew.''"  
  
Man, these guys were GOOD.  
  
"' I knew 't was I; for many do call me fool,'" Erk sighed. Sain wondered if Erk knew just how MANY called him a fool. He was dating SERRA. It didn't get much worse than that...  
  
"'... What employment have we here?'" He'd stopped pacing over the letter and bent to pick it up.  
  
"' Now is the woodcock near the gin,'" Kent grinned. He GRINNED! The world was ending. Sain was sure of it. Any time now, the roof was going to fall in and the sun was going to explode...  
  
"SAIN!" Kent hissed.  
  
"Oops!" Sain sheepishly recited his next lines. "' O, peace! and the spirit of humours intimate reading aloud to him!'"  
  
"' By my life, this is my lady's hand:'" Jaffar was twitching again, and the enthusiasm that had been there before was gone. Maybe Ms. Spencer should have cast NINO as Olivia. "'These be her very C's, her U's, and her T's; and thus makes she her great P's. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.'"  
  
"' Her C's, her U's, and her T's; why that?'" Erk looked confused, and Sain didn't blame him. He might have memorized the entire play, but that didn't mean he understood it. The general overall picture, YES. The little parts that people said? No. Nope. No way. He didn't like in the middle ages! If someone wanted to understand the little parts, go ask Kent. He lived in the middle ages. Plus Kent understood everything, probably because he paid attention.  
  
"' To the unknown beloved, this, and my good wishes:—'" One twitch, two, three... maybe Jaffar was going into spasm? "'Her. Very. Phrases.'" He was gritting his teeth now. "'By your leave, wax. Soft. and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal; 't is my lady. To whom should this be?'"  
  
"' This wins him, liver and all.'" Kent nodded. Really, what was so hard about saying "this guy's a sucker and he's falling for our scheme hook, line and sinker?"  
  
"' 'Jove knows I love; But who? Lips, do not move; No man must know'. 'No man must know.' What follows? the numbers alter'd! 'No man must know.' If this should be thee, Malvolio?'" Nope. It WASN'T. But then, 'Malvolio' was an idiot.  
  
"' Marry, hang thee, brock!'" Kent and Erk looked at Sain as he said that. What? How was HE supposed to know what it meant?  
  
"' 'I may command where I adore; But silence, like a Lucrece knife, With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore: M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.''"  
  
What the hell?  
  
"' A fustian riddle!'" Kent cried softly.  
  
"' Excellent wench, say I,'" Sain said with a grin. It was so nice being able to get away with words like "wench" every once in a while. He would never actually CALL a girl one – why would he? – but sometimes it was fun. Just for the fun of it. Where the heck was his brain going?  
  
"' 'M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.' Nay, but first, let me see, let me see, let me see.'" Apparently 'Malvolio' couldn't get it either.  
  
"' What dish o' poison has she dress'd him!'" Yep. The funny thing was that Sain could see Rebecca actually doing something like this.  
  
Heh heh heh...  
  
"' And with what wing the staniel checks at it!'" it was Sain's turn this time.  
  
"' 'I may command where I adore.' Why, she may command me; I serve her; she is my lady. Why, this is evident to any formal capacity; there is no obstruction in this: and the end,—what should that alphabetical position portend? if I could make that resemble something in me!—Softly! M, O, A, I,—'" What the hell? This was supposed to be a COMEDY! Not a frickking RIDDLE!  
  
"' O, ay, make up that; he is now at a cold scent.'" Sain feigned excitedness. ... Was that even a word?  
  
"' Sowter will cry upon 't for all this, though it be as rank as a fox.'"  
  
"' M,—Malvolio; M,—why, that begins my name,'" Hah!  
  
"' Did not I say he would work it out? the cur is excellent at faults,'" Wow, another first! Kent crowing!  
  
"' M,—but then there is no consonancy in the sequel; that suffers under probation: A should follow, but O does.'"  
  
"' And O shall end, I hope,'" that was Kent.  
  
"' Ay, or I 'll cudgel him, and make him cry O!'" Sain cried, pantomiming hitting Jaffar. Jaffar broke the "rules" and glared at him.  
  
"' And then I comes behind,'" Jaffar growled, still glaring at Sain.  
  
"' Ay, an you had any eye behind you, you might see more detraction at your heels than fortunes before you.'" (Kent)  
  
"' M, O, A, I; this simulation is not as the former; and yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for every one of these letters are in my name. Soft! here follows prose.  
  
"' 'If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I am above thee; but be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. Thy Fates open their hands; let thy blood and spirit embrace them; and, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be, cast thy humble slough and appear fresh. Be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity: she thus advises thee that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings, and wish'd to see thee ever cross-garter'd. I say, remember. Go to, thou art made, if thou desir'st to be so; if not, let me see thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell. She that would alter services with thee, THE FORTUNATE- UNHAPPY.''" Sain didn't think Jaffar had ever talked that much in his entire life.  
  
"' Daylight and champain discovers not more; this is open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors, I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be point-devise the very man. I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my leg being cross-garter'd; and in this she manifests herself to my love, and with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits of her liking. I thank my stars, I am happy. I will be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and cross-garter'd, even with the swiftness of putting on. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is yet a postscript.'" Jaffar stopped reading and looked up at Ms. Spencer.  
  
"...Is there any chance that I could stop doing this? Right now?"  
  
"Don't be silly, Jaffar!" Ms. Spencer chided. "You're doing a wonderful job. Now, keep going!" Jaffar just glared at her.  
  
"'' Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou entertain'st my love, let it appear in thy smiling; thy smiles become thee well; therefore in my presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.'  
"' Jove, I thank thee. I will smile; I will do everything that thou wilt have me.'" Finally done reading, Jaffar almost fled the stage.  
  
"' I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy,'" Kent said to Sain and Erk.  
  
"' I could marry this wench for this device!'" Sain crowed, grinning. And he meant it: marrying Rebecca couldn't be TOO bad!  
  
"' So could I too,'" Erk said, nodding.  
  
"' And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest!'" Sain exclaimed.  
  
"' Nor I neither.'" Was Erk going to do nothing but agree with him?  
  
"' Here comes my noble gull-catcher,'" Kent smiled at Rebecca, who was, for once, on cue.  
  
"' Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck?'" Sain asked her.  
  
"' Or o' mine either?'" Sain's hand twitched he wished Erk would say something – ANYTHING – original. But it WAS the script, after all...  
  
"' Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip, and become thy bond-slave?'" (Sain)  
  
"' I' faith, or I either?'" Sain groaned inwardly. There was NOTHING original about "Sir Andrew".  
  
"' Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, that when the image of it leaves him he must run mad!'" Sain grinned at her.  
  
"' Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?'" Rebecca's eyes were shining. She was a good actress. And maybe it was Sain's imagination, or was Rebecca smiling at him?  
  
"' Like aqua-vitae with a midwife!'" (Sain)  
  
"' If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark his first approach before my lady. He will come to her in yellow stockings, and 't is a colour she abhors; and cross-garter'd, a fashion she detests; and he will smile upon her, which will now be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him into a notable contempt. If you will see it, follow me,'" Rebecca was a delightful little minx, she was!  
  
"' To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit!'" Sain smiled "becomingly" at her. He hoped.  
  
"' I'll make one too,'" Erk agreed. Again. And that was the end of the scene. Dammit!  
  
"Good job people! That was a long scene, good job!" Ms. Spencer repeated.  
  
"Can we go now?" Hector yelled from the front.  
  
"In a moment," Ms. Spencer frowned at him. Hector looked uneasy, more from the looming announcement than Ms. Spencer's displeased look.  
  
"Alright people," she began. Had anyone else noticed, Sain wondered, that Ms. Spencer almost always started off the same way? "Alright" seemed the only thing she was capable of saying. "Tomorrow we're going to begin with costumes. So when you come, be prepared to get dress in costumes. We need everything in order very soon. Open House is sooner than you think!"  
  
There were several groans, and a few excited titters. Rebecca was grinning, and several people were giving Jaffar sly looks: his first costume would be in yellow, cross-gartered stockings. Sain would have to remember to bring his camera that day.  
  
"Oh crap, not Karel AGAIN? Ms. Spencer, tell me you've got another costume person?" Hector didn't look too happy with the costume announcement. Karla gave him a sideways glare.  
  
Ms. Spencer looked at Hector coldly. "You will come to school tomorrow, and you will leave with a costume," she said, accenting the 'will's. "Any other questions?"  
  
"Yeah," Hector said, looking her in the eye. "The bell rang. Can we go?" Laughter rippled around the room, and Ms. Spencer sighed, then smiled a little.  
  
"You are dismissed. But you had better do a good job in you scene tomorrow!" She called after Hector as he and the rest of the class ran for the door, and onwards towards the freedom of afternoon.

* * *

((The explination of above scene (because I'm feeling lazy again) is courtesy of Sparknotes )) 

_In the garden of Olivia's house, Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Maria—along with Fabian, one of Olivia's servants—prepare to play their practical joke on Malvolio. Maria has written a letter carefully designed to trick him into thinking that Olivia is in love with him. She has been spying on him and knows that he is now approaching. She drops the letter in the garden path, where Malvolio will see it. She exits, while the three men hide among the trees and shrubbery._

_Malvolio approaches on the path, talking to himself. He speaks of Olivia: it seems that he already thinks it possible that she might be in love with him. He is deep in a fantasy of what it would be like to be Olivia's husband and the master of her house. He would have power over all the other servants and even over Sir Toby. Sir Toby and the others can't help jeering at Malvolio's pride from their hiding place, but they do it softly so that he will not overhear them and realize that they are there._

_Malvolio spots the letter lying in the garden path. He mistakes Maria's handwriting for Olivia's, as Maria has predicted, and Malvolio thinks that the letter is from Olivia. Apparently, Maria sealed the letter with Olivia's sealing ring to make the letter look even more authentic. To Sir Toby's pleasure, Malvolio decides to read it aloud._

_The letter is addressed to "the unknown beloved" and contains what seems to be a riddle about love (II.v.92). It suggests that the writer is in love with somebody but must keep it a secret from the world, though she wants her beloved to know about it. The first part of the letter concludes by saying that the beloved's identity is represented by the letters M.O.A.I. Malvolio, naturally, works over the message in his mind until he has made it mean that he is the beloved (he notes, for instance, that all four of the letters appear in his own name). Sir Toby and the rest laugh at him from behind the bush._

_Once he has convinced himself that Olivia is in love with him, Malvolio reads the second half of the letter. The mysterious message implies that the writer wishes to raise Malvolio up from his position of servitude to one of power. But the letter also asks him to show the writer that he returns her love through certain signs. The letter orders him to wear yellow stockings, "go cross-gartered" (that is, to wear the straps of his stockings crossed around his knees), be sharp-tempered with Sir Toby, be rude to the servants, behave strangely, and smile all the time. Jubilantly, Malvolio vows to do all these things in order to show Olivia that he loves her in return._

_After Malvolio leaves, Sir Toby remarks that he "could marry this wench [Maria] for this device. . . . And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest" (II.v.158–160). Maria then rejoins the men, and she, Sir Toby, and Fabian have a good laugh, anticipating what Malvolio is likely to do now. It turns out that Olivia actually hates the color yellow, can't stand to see crossed garters, and doesn't want anybody smiling around her right now, since she is still officially in mourning. In other words, Malvolio is destined to make a great fool of himself. They all head off together to watch the fun._

((We hope you enjoyed above interpretation.))

* * *

Whitney: Yeah, anyway. Hope you like it, and sorry for the long wait! I know, I'm horrible at updating. 

Erk: yeah, you are.

Whitney: I spent the past week or so wondering if I should keep writing this...

Erk: NO! NO! Stop it! Stop writing!

Whitney: But I decided to at least post THIS one. And I might as well keep going, huh?

Erk: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Whitney: But I'm still getting lazier. You'll notice that there are a few quotes that end with "(instert name her)". Sometimes I can't think of any reaction to put there to tell you who it is, so I'm just going to do that the next time I run into that problem.

Heath: What's up next?

Whitney: Yay! It's intermission number 2! So, rejoice! Karel's back (I'm not done with him yet!), but I need something else to take up the rest of the day. (Hint: it's a half day :P) If anybody has any ideas, well, feel free. That's why I'm mentioning it, right?

Hector: so you can ignore it later.

Whitney:... keep it up and I'll make Lyn break up with you.

Lyn: can't you do that anyway? We argue too much.

Serra: but arguing means true love!

Lyn: who told you that?

Serra: No one! But I told it to Sain!

Lyn: ....

Matthew: So review! If you do I'll slip you a few gold coins or so! wink


	11. Intermission 2: It's Raining Men

Whitney: #gasp# I LIVE

Priscilla: FINALLY!

Whitney: my excuse is soccer. Believe it if you want.

Erk: If you were smart, you wouldn't.

Whitney: **Disclaimer** I don't own FE, the movies, or anything else copyrighted in this.

Nino: we would like to also mention there is a slight spoiler in the middle of the movie scene. It's not too big though.

Karla: but don't say we didn't warn you.

Whitney: I would also like to warn people that the beginning might be kind of boring, if you aren't into description. I'm thinking about drawing the outfits I described - just to make it easier to understand what I mean - and if you think you'd like that, tell me and I'll draw them in time for my next update!

Erk: which means our next update will be three years from now.

Whitney:...Thanks EVER so much.

Erk: You're welcome

* * *

Mornings and afternoons always had a way of lingering on and on during the school week. First and second period – history and Spanish, respectively – seemed to go on for a day each. It didn't help things that both classes were exceedingly boring. 

"¿Dónde está la tienda?" the smiling teacher asked the class in a hard accent. She was a Hispanic – someone who spoke Spanish naturally – and it was hard to get what she was saying sometimes. These forced repetitions, however, were very easy. Especially since this was the fifth time she'd asked that question: "where is the store?" Seriously. Who would ask that?

"La tienda está junto al paseo, señora," the class intoned. Most of them were half asleep, and Hector couldn't really blame them. Spanish was boring. Math was worse, but he wouldn't think about that right now.

"¡Clase muy buena! Ahora –" the teacher began but what cut off as Nils went running by the open classroom door, deafening the people sitting near the hallway. The teacher sighed. "Bien, usted es despedido." She turned her back so she wouldn't have to see the gleeful looks on her students faces as they fled the classroom.

"¡Finalmente! ¡Yo lo pensé nunca terminaría!" Hector grinned as he put on the worst accent he could. His friends laughed at him.

"That's what you say about EVERY class!" Eliwood grinned at him. "But yeah, it's about time. I thought the bell was never going to ring!"

"He was late again," Lyn said, making a face. "Which means recess is going to be about three minutes today... again."

"Ninian, you're going to have to have a talk with that brother of yours," Matthew said as he walked up to them. "Do you realize he was seven minutes late with that bell of his?"

"Actually, we were just talking about that Matthew," Eliwood said calmly.

"Good. Are you going to do anything about it?"

"I'll see. Maybe he'll listen to me," Ninian shrugged slightly. "I can't make a promise though."

"Is there any way you could maybe convince him to ring the bell seven minutes late?" Lyn asked, looking hopeful. Ninian shook her head.

"No. There are two bell ringers – one of the beginning of class, and one for the end of class. Nils rings for the end, and I have no influence over the other kid."

"Haven't I seen Nils ringing to start class too, though?" Hector asked, frowning.

"Sometimes. When the other kid is sick. But he's here today." Ninian's comment was greeted with groans from the group.

"Well, that's that then, isn't it?" Matthew asked with a sigh. "Maybe the school will catch fire or something and we'll all get to go home."

"Do you still believe in the tooth fairy too, Matthew?" Lyn asked him, arching an eyebrow.

"If it gets me money," Matthew said with a grin. Lyn just rolled her eyes.

The bell just then chose to ring.

"You CAN'T be serious!" Lyn cried, her green eyes wide. "We've only been here for two minutes!" All over the hall people were swivelling to look at the nearest clock.

"I think it's a conspiracy," Hector grumbled looking at him own watch. "Anyone want to skip class with me?"

"You will not!" Lyn glared at him. "You do and I'll never talk to you again! Got it?"

Hector groaned. "Yes, 'dear'..." Lyn glared at him for a few more seconds then turned on her heel and stalked towards her locker, viciously tearing it open and grabbing the things she needed for English. "Great..." he sighed.

"Tough luck Hector," Eliwood grinned at him, his arm smugly around Ninian.

"Keep it up and I'll punch you're face in," Hector growled. "Things are already going downhill – I don't need you to help me."

"What else has gone wrong?" Ninian asked.

"Well, nothing yet... but we have Karel doing costumes. I'll let you draw your own conclusions." Ninian and Eliwood exchanged alarmed looks.

"I'd forgotten about that," Eliwood admitted.

"Seriously, that guy has it out for me," Hector groaned. "I think he hates me."

"GET TO CLASS!" One of the more short-tempered teachers was screeching down the hall, trying to round up his errant students. Hector sighed.

"Guess it's time to go, huh? You coming with us, Lyn?" Hector asked.

"...Fiiiiine," Lyn whined, joining up with them. Hector sighed. This wasn't going to be a good day.

The gym was already crowded with students when Hector and his group arrived. The girls were grinning, pretending they were already wearing their costumes with long skirts and veils. Most of the boys were lounging around with slightly pained looks on their faces. They weren't looking forward to it very much.

"Hurry and sit down Hector." Hector jumped as Ms. Spencer spoke from behind him. Shooting a look over his shoulder he saw a wickedly grinning Karel standing just behind Ms. Spencer. Oh, this was NOT going to be pretty. Nope. Not a bit.

"Alright class! Are we ready? It's time for costumes!" Hector gave Ms. Spencer a look. She was actually smiling! Was it possible she was enjoying watching her students go through the equivalent of the torture chamber? Karel was striding through the gym with Isadora and Raven staggering behind him, loaded with packages. Farina and Lucius were just behind them, each burdened with many small packages. It seems the grade 12s were working with costumes as well. That or they had just been recruited at the spur of the moment. Either way, it didn't look like they were enjoying it much. Isadora and Raven practically slammed their packages down at the front of the class with great gasps of breath while Lucius and Farina gently placed their packages down on top. When the grade 12s tottered off to one side, Ms. Spencer pulled out a list and gave the class an excited smile.

"We'll start with the cast list, going down in order, OK? First one... Heath!"

The first one called, Heath looked slightly apprehensive as he rose to receive his costume from the multitude of boxes. Karel handed one box to him and pointed him off to the storage closet that doubled as the change room for the play.

"While we wait for him, we'll use that covered corner – "Ms. Spencer pointed to a corner of the gym that had been covered with a curtain. "For someone else so this goes faster. Lyn, you're next!"

Lyn took a deep breath as she went up to get her outfit. Karel gave her hers without a word – in fact he looked almost kind. Hector wasn't pleased with that. Lyn gave him a half-frightened look as she disappeared behind the curtain. Hector glanced over his shoulder and shot Sain a withering look – it was obvious he was already starting to go sneak a peek of Lyn. "Hands of, Sain!" He growled. Sain shoot him an innocent smile, but sat down.

It didn't take very long before Heath stuck his head out of the storage closet. "Um, Ms. Spencer? Do we have to come out in costume, or do we change back?"

"We'll be doing the rest of the scenes in costume, Heath – keep it on. That way we can also see if it fits well."

Heath's face contorted a little and he stepped out. His costume was a white, high-collared shirt with a grey-green tunic that had a wide V down the front. His sleeves were a red-purple criss-crossed with the same grey-green as the rest of his tunic. The pants were black and tight fitting and a few girls giggled [very] girlishly when he came out. Karel was rummaging through the small boxes and handed him a small hat that had a feather in it. When Heath just stared at it Karel jammed it on his head.

"Hey! You'll mess up my hair!" Heath cried, slightly outraged. Hector saw Priscilla was almost as red as her hair, staring coyly at Heath while at the same time trying not too.

"Then take what I give you boy!" Karel shot back. Heath just glared.

The attention was soon diverted from Heath and Karel as Lyn stepped out. Her dress was all black, as in accordance with the "mourning" her character was going through. There was a black corset that was skin-tight at the top, covering a black skirt that flared wildly and dragged slightly on the ground. There was also a black petticoat with puffed-up shoulders and tight arms, and long white collar. Hector whistled softly and Lyn blushed. Karel handed her a pert black cap with a veil attached, and she quietly lowered it over her face. A sudden flash lit up the gym and Hector spun around in his chair to see Sain hastily trying to hide his camera.

"Sain!"

Sain then tried to run for his life as Hector pushed his chair – and Eliwood's – over in his dash to grab the camera. Ms. Spencer yelled at them to stop, but they still managed to complete two laps around the gym before either of them listened. Hector returned to his seat glowering, and Sain sat down red and out of breath.

"So?" Lyn asked him shyly as she sat down in her black costume. "What do you think?"

"You look... striking," He said, looking at her close up, noticing the lacy designs in the black cloth.

"Hector and... Eliwood. You two are next!" Ms. Spencer called them to the front of the class. Hector was first. Karel gave him a grin as he passed him his package. It was heavy for such a small-looking package. He headed for the storage closet and closed the door behind him.

He opened the box and looked at it dubiously. It was a rich blue colour, and most of the fabric – with the exception of the pants and the chest area of the vest – was crossed with diagonally square gold thread. The vest had a Chinese-style collar, and the vest was tight across his wide chest. The sleeves were loose until the cuffs, which closed to keep the sleeve from interfering with his hands. The pants were blue with one gold stripe down the sides, and they came with a pair of large, light brown boots. He felt like an ass in the costume, but there wasn't much he could do. With hesitation he eased the door open and stepped out.

"Marry me Hector!" Matthew laughed at him, and Hector glared at him before subtly flipping him the bird.

"Hmm... your hat is in here somewhere..." Karel muttered as he rummage through the umpteen million boxes. "Ah! Here it is..." He held up a large poofy hat. It was slightly uncomfortable, especially since Hector didn't really like hats.

Eliwood had emerged while Hector was being examined, and Hector got a look at him now. Eliwood's was almost the same as his, except it was red and gold, and his vest was a low V-neck with a white shirt that went underneath. He was handed a hat almost identical to Hector's and they both sat down as Nino and Rebecca went up.

"So?" Hector asked Lyn. "What do you think?" Lyn laughed at him.

"Can't you even think up a different way of asking?" She teased.

"I can, but I'm hoping for an identical answer."

"You look great Hector. Blue works for you."

"Thanks, Lyn." Hector smiled at his girlfriend.

"Hey, Eliwood, what do you – "Hector turned to ask his friend what he thought only to find him and his girlfriend in lip-lock. "O-oookay. Never mind." Lyn giggled. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing..." Lyn looked the other way until Hector leaned over and kissed her cheek. She started slightly but he only grinned impishly at her while she tried to pretend to be angry.

"Whoo! Rebecca!" Sain cried. "My eyes are blinded by you're beauty!"

Rebecca had come out ahead of Nino, who seemed to be having trouble with her costume. Since she was a serving girl, her costume was simple. She had an opened square collar, with a white shirt underneath that left her shoulders bare, but gave her arms half-sleeves. Her skirt was long but not as wide as Lyn's, with a white apron tucked in on one side. Her hair was pulled up under a white maids cap that hide everything but her bangs.

"Umm... can I have a little help, Ms. Spencer?" Nino asked, peeking out the storage room door. "I can't get the zipper up..."

"Certainly Nino, hang on..." Ms. Spencer answered. "Wil, you come get your costume now."

"Sure thing Ms. Spencer!" Wil said, bounding up and disappearing behind the screen.

Nino soon emerged from the storage room closet wearing a boy's costume. A blue-grey vest sat over long white sleeves, and a black half-cape hung off her shoulders. Her pants were white and loose, going only to three-quarters down her leg. She had grey-blue boots to match the vest.

"Hey! Where did my camera go?" Sain yelled. Hector turned and saw Jaffar quietly ripping the film out of Sain's now-missing camera and he grinned. Served Sain right.

Wil came out right about then. His costume was simple, since he was a more minor figure. A simple vest with large sleeves and tights with soft, small, slipper-like shoes, in a brown colour. Rath, who went in next, came out with a similar costume, only his was green, and the sleeves were criss-crossed with red and brown thread.

Sain got a few laughs with his costume. He wore a large green overcoat that covered everything. A large white shirt was buckled with an over-large black belt, and there were black pants with the same small shoes as Wil and Rath.

Erk was a bright red when he showed off his costume. His purple tunic went to his claves, and his pants were red, as well as his sleeves. He had a brown belt that hung down on one side, and a fake sword hung from it. He was also handed a cap with a huge feather in it ( A/N – think Will from Pirates of the Caribbean if you've seen it. Feather only.) that seemed to enjoy falling continually in his face.

When Jaffar came out there were a few hastily covered giggles. Jaffar, who preferred black and red, was decked out in a bright, ugly yellow cross-gartered stocking. A few girls whistled and Hector was pretty sure Matthew did too. Maybe he should check into Matthew's background and make sure he wasn't gay. Not that it would matter if he were, but still. The rest of his costume was black, a large tunic with sleeves sewn on. Even his shoes were black. Only the stockings were yellow.

Matthew was next, and several people cheered his energetic entrance. His vest was striped, coloured green, purple and yellow. His sleeves were large and red, and his pants were striped even as his vest was. He also had a hat, a simple cap without a feather. He was also handed a small guitar – maybe a lute? – by Karel, who was over-seeing everything.

Kent's costume was a stiff vest that somehow suit him perfectly, with edges that jutted over his shoulders. Beige sleeves, loose-fitting and slit at the sides, hung down from under the vest, and red pants were coupled with the same small shoes.

The rest of the costumes were more or less average. Guy wore a black and white suit ensemble with a lacy collar that looked slightly tattered, as if he had been in a shipwreck. Serra and Priscilla wore pink and green dresses that were a mix of Rebecca and Lyn: tight-fitting upper parts, with the same bare-shouldered sleeves as Rebecca, and wide flaring skirts. Florina's outfit as an attendant was a simple white two-piece vest and shirt, with light blue pants that covered most of her blue boots. Lowen and Karla wore identical brown and white (respectively) police-type uniforms, with the large hats of London police. Hector had to try not to laugh when he first saw the hats. They were worse than his. Last was Ninian, in a long white priests robe.

"Well, is that everyone?" Ms. Spencer looked around at the class that had suddenly been transported into the middle ages. "Good. Now, if the people in the first scene of act three could come up – "

She was interrupted by squeals coming from outside in the hall. Swearing from the school janitor could also be heard, albeit somewhat muffled. Several of the students laughed at the words he was using. He even seemed to be making up a few NEW swearwords to go along with the old ones.

"What in the WORLD is going on?" Ms. Spencer demanded, walking to the gym doors. As she opened them, Hector saw exactly what was going on. Water from the ceiling above and from the bathrooms was running down the hall, turning it into a man-made river. Several of the girls issued muffled shrieks and clambered up on top of their chairs.

"Er... Ms. Spencer!"

From down the hall Isadora was wading, and not looking like she was enjoying it much. The water wasn't very high, but high enough to cover half her sneakers, giving her a very uncomfortable soaker. She looked up at the water coming down through the ceiling and wisely chose to hug the wall trying to get around it.

"What's going on, Isadora?" Ms. Spencer demanded, also eyeing all the water.

"Well, some of the water," She pointed above her head, "is coming from a leak in the roof. This amazing rainstorm moved in, and one of the classrooms with a skylight sprung a leak. The other half of the water," she pointed up the hall towards the bathroom, "Is partially a prank and partially a plugged toilet."

"EEEW!" Serra almost shrieked, trying to climb higher on her chair. Hector rolled his eyes. There wasn't a drop of water near her, and she was acting like she was about to drown. He almost laughed, though, when she decided to sit on Erk's shoulder, almost causing him and fall over.

"In any case..." Isadora cast the ceiling another uneasy glance, "The Principal's ordered the school closed – no one's going to pay any attention today."

Ms. Spencer sighed. "Probably. Alright..." She turned towards the class. "You heard her. You're dismissed for the day."

"And I would suggest changing," Karel added in an icy voice. "I'm not fixing those costumes if you get them wet and ripped."

"Why would we want to wander through the halls with them on anyway?" Hector muttered. "It's not like it's something I want to show off." Karel glared at him.

* * *

Priscilla's POV

* * *

It took a long time for everyone to change their costumes, and it took even longer to find enough bags to store them all in. It was pouring outside, and no one wanted to risk getting their new costumes wet, especially the girls, all of whom were quite proud of their medieval costumes. All the girls, at the moment, were crowded into the storage closet, changing as best they could in the cramped room. Karla and Lyn had clambered on top of stacked mattresses and were doing their best, although Lyn had needed help to climb out of her huge dress. The rest of the girls were meshed together, laughing and giggling, trying to struggle out of elaborate dresses, or, in Nino's case, tunics. No one was sure why there was a zipper in the back of Nino's costume that she couldn't reach.

About 45 minutes later the girls drifted out. The gym was more or less empty except for Matthew, Hector, Eliwood and Erk, all of them talking together, looking bored.

"Sorry, did we keep you waiting?" Lyn asked sweetly to her boyfriend.

"Nope, not at all. By the way, while you were gone, I made a date with Farina. You don't have a problem with that, right?"

All the girls watched Lyn and Hector, wondering if it really was a joke. Finally Hector grinned and Lyn swung her bag, stuffed with the dress, at his head. The impromptu fight finally broke up and everyone drifted for the exit.

"Ew! They expect us to WALK through this?" Serra exclaimed, staring at the water on the floor.

"Well, y'know, if you'd been ready half an hour ago, when this all started, it might not be so bad," Hector told her pointedly. She glared at him, but he simply raised an eyebrow. She glared at him again, then turned and started complaining to Erk – very loudly. Everyone simply ignored her.

Lyn had a slightly disgusted look on her face as she led the group to the stairs. Priscilla sighed as she emptied most of her locker into her book bag. It was always depressing to her that she never had a boyfriend. She watched the other girls from the corner of her eye, envying them for their boyfriends. She was pretty sure that the reason she didn't have a boyfriend yet was because of Raven – wasn't it? Raven was very protective for an older brother. Nice, yes, but annoying too, because he frightened away every guy who had ever even looked in her direction. Erk early on, the Guy – and probably Heath, if she ever managed to get his eye. Which wasn't very likely, since he never really looked at anybody. There were rumors going around, too, that he was going out with a guy named Legault who was some ten years older. Priscilla liked Heath, and hoped it wasn't true.

"What are you doing this afternoon Priscilla?" Lyn asked her. Priscilla jumped a little, and hoped she didn't look too nervous.

"Oh... I don't know. There's really not a lot for me to do, you know?"

"Do you want to go to a movie or something?" Lyn asked, "we're going together – why don't you come?"

"What – go with you two while you're on a date?" Priscilla asked, surprised. Lyn made a face.

"Date? This isn't a date – it's a time killer. Hector won't take me to movies on dates."

"Why not?"

"Because I can think of better things to do with Lyn than sit in a movie for a date, that's why," Hector said, frowning over Lyn's shoulder. Lyn blushed a little bit, and Priscilla swallowed.

"Er..."

"Oh come ON," Serra pushed herself into the group, keeping a firm grip on Erk's arm. "We're all going – come with us!"

"Speak for yourself, Serra," Karla told her. "I'm going to work."

"And meeting that ape afterwards, I'll bet," Serra sniffed.

"Hey!" Karla looked very dangerous at that moment. It probably wasn't a good idea to have said that about her boyfriend. The danger apparently hadn't occurred to Serra, because she suddenly looked very nervous and pulled Erk in front of her to serve as a buffer between the two of them.

"Ah... sure, I guess I'll go with you," Priscilla said, trying to defuse the situation that had suddenly arisen between the two.

"Oh good!" Lyn grinned. "More of the guys will be meeting us there. In fact," she frowned a little, "It's almost like a class meeting. Who would have thought?"

"What are we seeing, and when?" Priscilla asked.

"Well... most of us want to change, so we're all going to meet there at... what time is it now?"

"It's almost 1:30," Hector told her.

"How about we meet at 2:30?" Nino suggested. "That will give me enough time to try and get Jaffar to come along!"

"Sounds good to me. I need a shower and it takes forEVER to dry my hair!" Serra exclaimed. Erk rolled his eyes.

"Alright, 2:30 at the theater. Anyone need a ride?" Eliwood asked.

"I do," Priscilla said.

"We do too," Erk said with a slightly pained expression, trying to pull away from Serra. "My cars on the fritz, and – "

"And my parents are out of town with my car, so we're stuck!" Serra said with indignation.

"Alright, Hector and Lyn can pick you guys up – "

"WHAT?" both Lyn and Hector exclaimed at the same time.

"Since they live closer to you two than I do. We'll pick up Priscilla, okay?"

"Sure," Lyn said with a slightly uneasy glance at Erk and Serra. Hector's mouth was moving soundlessly, and Priscilla had a feeling he was making up new words.

Everyone moved out at that point, and made a mad dash for their various modes of transportation. Priscilla was soaked to the bone by the time she reached the bus shelter, and her clothing was plastered to her body. The road looked like a miniature river with cars and buses serving as odd-looking fish. She sighed and looked at the sky. It was almost black, and the clouds were threateningly low. It was nighttime and noon, and thunder rumbled in the distance. It was a good thing she had plans – she didn't like the thought of being home alone with thunder and lightning dancing around outside.

The bus arrived some fifteen minutes later, and she gladly climbed on, getting soaked again the .2 seconds she had to dash from the shelter to the door. She sighed and pushed her wet hair out of her eyes. It seemed she was destined to be wet today. She would have to remember to bring an umbrella with her, or a coat with a hood. She didn't want her hair plastered to her head forever.

"Hey Priscilla!" she started as someone called her name. Looking down, she saw Heath seated with an older man near the back of the bus. With an empty seat beside him! Nodding slightly, she worked her way to the empty seat and sat down.

"Hi Heath," She greeted him – lamely, she thought.

"It's wet out there, isn't it?" Heath pointed out the window making a face. "I thought I was going to drown trying to get on the bus." She grinned.

"I don't think I'll ever be dry again," she complained making a wide gesture at her wet clothes and hair.

"Is that a bad thing?" the man beside Heath asked eyeing her. "Being wet doesn't look so bad on you." She blushed.

"Oh yeah, this is Legault, Priscilla," he said, introducing them. Legault offered Priscilla a hand that she shook tentatively, her face flaming.

"You look almost as red as your hair," Legault grinned. "Why's that?"

"Stop it, Legault!" Heath told him. Priscilla eyed the two of them nervously. Legault saw the look, and grinned harmlessly at her. She returned it weakly.

The rest of the trip passed by rather uneventfully except for the flash of lightening that scared her near to death. Legault had laughed at her for that and Heath had knocked him upside the head.

"By the way, Heath," she asked as they neared her stop. "Are you going to the "class" movie?"

"Class movie?" Heath frowned for a moment. "Oh, you mean the thing the guys were talking about. I dunno. When is it?"

"Ah... it's today... at 2:30."

"I dunno. What's the point in going?" Priscilla's face fell. "I don't really like going alone, even with friends..."

"Aw, you won't be alone," Legault grinned, putting his arm around Heath's shoulders. "I'll go with you. We can make out in the back row." Priscilla's eyes went as big as saucers, and Heath made a face.

"Get off me, Legault, or I'll hit you again."

"I'll let you hit me as much as you want if you give me one kiss!" Legault had a huge grin on his face now, and Priscilla knew he was kidding – at least, she hoped he was. He was defiantly odd.

"Ah... I'll see you later Heath. ...And... maybe I'll see you again, Legault?" She asked tentatively.

"Most likely," Legault grinned. Then he winked at her, and for some reason she felt better.

"See ya, Priscilla," Heath yelled as she pushed her way off the over-crowded bus.

The rain was coming down heavier now, and thunder was rumbling again. She ran through the streets, hoping to get home as quickly as possible.

Ten minutes later she arrived, gasping about out of breath. Glancing at her watch, she groaned. It was 2:00 – she wasn't going to have a lot of time. She needed to get her license soon, and get home earlier. The bus was not a good thing if you wanted to get somewhere fast.

The inside of her house was dark, since no one was home. She switched on as many lights as she could, since she didn't feel like being in the dark. It wasn't that she was afraid – there was just some feeling in her that didn't feel like being alone in the dark. Upstairs she had a quick shower of about five minutes – a new record for her. Usually she was in there for some 15-20 minutes. She changed as quickly as she could, putting on jeans and a t-shirt, covered by a thin fuzzy-seeming green sweater. Downstairs, she riffled through the coat closet looking for a jacket with a hood on it. It wasn't cold, per se, but she didn't feel like being drenched again. But even so, she wasn't about to wear a winter jacket, which was about all she could find. Giving up she grabbed a white windbreaker, and started searching for an umbrella. She was interrupted by a knock on the door, and opened it to find Eliwood there, waiting for her.

"Ready?" He asked.

"No... I can't find an umbrella," she fretted, looking over her shoulder and the mess in the hallway, comprised of jackets, shoes, overcoats and the odd hat and shoe.

"That's ok, I think we have an extra," he smiled. "We'd better hurry – they won't like it if we're late."

"OK, hang on while I grab my key," she said, already running for the kitchen where she'd dumped her bad. Hurriedly, she ripped open her bag, grabbing her wallet and key, before running back to the front door. "Alright... let's go!"

In the car Ninian was waiting patiently as Eliwood practically jumped in the car, Priscilla right behind him. He shook his head, which was wet from the moment in the rain.

"Eliwood! You're getting me wet!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry Ninian," Eliwood replied as he pulled out of the driveway and made his way towards the theater.

They arrived five minutes late and had to make a mad dash for the door just as the sky opened up another, harder, deluge that pounded down on them. Even with the extra umbrella she and Ninian shared – Eliwood was wearing his hood up – Priscilla was half-wet when the reached the doors. Inside the theater lobby it was packed with people milling around, buying tickets and popcorn, or playing games while they waited. The group was standing by the games room, examining the possibilities. Or rather, the girls were. With the exception of Jaffar and Erk, the guys were otherwise occupied playing games.

"Lyn!" Eliwood yelled as they moved in.

"There you are!" She yelled back, a slightly accusing tone in her voice. "We were beginning to wonder if you were ever going to show.

"Ninian got stuck in the shower," Eliwood said with a grin.

"I did not! You couldn't get the car to start!" Ninian shot back.

Lyn laughed. "Well, whatever. Now, what do we want to see?" She said, returning to the examination of the board above.

"What are our options?"

"Ah... Fahrenheit 9/11, Anchorman, The Notebook, Shrek 2, Spider-Man 2, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, The Village, The Manchurian Candidate, Little Black Book, Collateral, I, Robot, The Bourne Supremacy, and Catwoman. Any of those appeal to you? 'Cause the rest of the guys aren't paying much attention..." Lyn said with a scathing glance over her shoulder when most of the guys were watching Matthew beat Wil at air hockey.

"Why don't we all pick a movie the guys will hate?" Rebecca suggested. "That way they won't ignore us again."

"That's not a bad idea," Serra grinned.

"Is anyone else coming?" Lyn asked, looking around. "I called some of the grade 12's, but none of them could give me a definite answer."

"Who did you call?" Nino asked.

"Isadora, Farina, and Lucius. Isadora said she thought she had a date, Farina said she was didn't feel like spending the money, and Lucius said he was doing something with Raven, who I couldn't find."

"...Heath might be coming," Priscilla said quietly. "I saw him on the bus and told him."

"Ok, so that gives us between three and four people who are potentially coming. Great." Lyn said with a sigh. "We may as well pick now. They can expect it or not."

"The Notebook," Serra stated. Lyn shook her head.

"Saw it, don't want to see it again. Um...I want to see Fahrenheit 9/11."

"What IS it about people and 9/11?" Rebecca asked with a face. "I saw I, Robot."

"How about the Bourne Supremacy?" Eliwood suggested. "I want to see that."

"Not all of us saw the first one though," Rebecca pointed out. "I don't feel like getting lost. How about Shrek 2?"

"I like that idea!" Nino piped up. Jaffar got a pained look on his face, but didn't say anything.

"I think we should see Anchorman, or Harold and Kumar go to White Castle," Matthew said coming up to them, stuffing money into his back pocket as he did so.

"Sorry," Rebecca said stiffly, "But I don't feel in the mood for stupidity today."

"What movie's winning so far?" Hector asked. Apparently the boys had decided to re-join the girls when they saw they were starting to pick the movie.

"Shrek 2, I guess," Lyn said dubiously, "Since it has two votes to everyone else's one."

Hector shrugged. "It's a good all-around movie, isn't it?" He examined the board. "I did want to see The Manchurian Candidate though." Lyn rolled her eyes.

"Harold and Kumar go to White Castle?" Matthew suggested again.

"Stow it Matthew!" Lyn almost yelled.

"OK, OK, sheeee,"

"Hey, are we still in time?" Someone yelled. Priscilla looked over her shoulder and saw Isadora with Legault and Heath running through the lobby with Farina and someone else right behind them. Farina and the boy seemed to be arguing over something.

"Isadora! You made it!" Eliwood smiled. "Who's this, and who's that?" he asked, pointing first at Legault and then at Farina's arguing partner.

"This is Legault," Isadora said, pointing at her date, "and that's Dark, I think. Farina wasn't really specific."

"It's DART!" the boy growled at Isadora before diving into the argument with Farina again.

"What are they fighting about?" Nino asked, slightly wide-eyed. Heath rolled his eyes.

"They're fighting over who has to pay for the tickets and food."

"And they're being very, very, loud about it," Legault said casually.

"So I noticed," Rebecca frowned, plugging her ears.

"Did we pick a movie yet?" Isadora asked, trying to ignore the two screaming teens begin her.

"Not really, but I think we're narrowing in on Shrek 2," Lyn said with a shrug. "Everyone wants to see a different movie, it seems."

"Well, if it's going to be Shrek 2, we'd better go quick – it's getting in in, like, ten minutes," Isadora pointed out.

"We may as well go see it," Legault said. "It's the only movie that's really convenient, you know. All the others got in half and hour ago and aren't going to start again for almost two hours."

"With the exception of – "Matthew started.

"Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, we KNOW!" everyone yelled at him.

"Give it a REST Matthew!" Rebecca said.

"...Anchorman, then?" Matthew asked hope hopefully. Everyone groaned.

"...Does it really matter?" Jaffar asked darkly. "Let's just go." Several people stared at him, and Nino smiled brightly.

"Ah... OK, whatever," Lyn said, shaking her head. "Here, give me the money, and me 'n' Hector'll go buy the tickets while everyone else goes to get food and stuff."

Eight minutes later everyone stood buy the entrance of the movie, waiting as Hector and Lyn came running up with their last-minute popcorn and drinks.

"Well? Go in!" Lyn chided. "There's no point in waiting for us!"

"I guess there's no chance of going to see Anchorman now, is there?" Matthew sighed.

"God, Matthew, give it a REST!" Rebecca almost yelled. "Go see it yourself!"

"I already have. Four times or so." Everyone just groaned.

In the theater, Priscilla found herself sitting in the very back row with Heath, Isadora and Legault. Farina and Dart were in the row in front of them, still squabbling about something. It wasn't money anymore, and no one was sure what the new topic was. Legault shook his head.

"If I'd known they were going to fight like that, I wouldn't have brought them along," He sighed.

"They were like this the whole way down?" Priscilla gasped.

"No, they were pretty good for the first three seconds, until Dart mentioned that Farina would have to pay for herself," Legault said in a somewhat innocent tone.

"I wonder how much that fight started with the comment of "So which of you are going to pay for us", huh Legault?" Heath asked with a raised eyebrow. Legault simply smiled at him and put his arm around Isadora.

The trailers seemed to last forever to Priscilla, and she didn't mind one bit. She was sitting next to Heath – who seemed to be paying strict attention to the screen – and she had the best seat for watching everyone else. Eliwood and Ninian were already making out in the second-last row, Hector and Lyn with Matthew watching them from the row below. Nino was sitting as close to Jaffar as she possibly could, and was just short of sitting on his lap. Serra really was sitting in Erk's lap, but he was protesting, and appeared to be on the verge of shoving her off. Priscilla doubted he would though. Sain was sitting next to Rebecca, who was stubbornly staring at the screen. Wil and Kent were sitting by Sain, and Kent had just started speaking severely to Sain. Priscilla sighed. She was here with most of her class – heck, half the school, it seemed – and she still felt alone. Maybe it was because she was sitting NEXT to Heath, and he wasn't even aware she was there.

Throughout the movie, she kept bring distracted by her schoolmates. Dart and Farina had stopped arguing verbally, and were now doing something resembling a thumb war. Legault was holding a whispered conversation with Isadora that turned into an imitation of Eliwood and Ninian. Jaffar was glaring around the theater, as if daring – or asking – someone to hit on Nino so he could beat them up, and Nino was, of course, oblivious. Sain was trying to kiss Rebecca on the cheek, and she was ignoring him because she wanted to watch the movie. Kent, on the other had, wasn't ignoring it and had Sain by the ear. Finally, he and Rebecca switched seats, and Rebecca switched again with Wil. Matthew was busy trying to steal popcorn from the people on either side and in front of him. The people she was here with were almost as good as, if not better than, the movie they were watching. She cast Heath a glance or two, then finally gave up and watched Puss in Boots trying to claw Shrek's eyes out. She briefly saw Legault talk to Heath from the corner of her eye, but ignored it.

The movie ended and they all drifted out into the lobby. Or got dragged out in Farina and Dart's case. Kent was holding Farina, and Wil was talking animatedly to Dart.

"Do you need a ride home Priscilla?" Eliwood asked.

"Ye-"

"No, she doesn't," Legault interrupted. "We'll take her home." He winked at Eliwood, who nodded.

"'K. See you later."

"You ARE going to come with us, right?" Legault asked her.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not unless you want to take the bus," Legault said cheerfully. Priscilla sighed.

"So you are coming Priscilla?" Isadora smiled. "Good, good, you can give Heath a seatmate."

"What about Dart and Farina?" Priscilla and Heath asked at the same time. They glanced at each other then looked at the ground.

"Oh..." Legault said with a sly glance over his shoulder. "They found a new ride home."

Looking in the same direction Priscilla saw Farina getting into the front seat of Kent's car, Dart and Wil getting in the back. "...Oh..."

"I'm not sure if they'll get home in one piece, but at least Kent will keep the damage to a minimum," Legault seemed very pleased with himself. "Now, what shall we do now? It's only around four – we could go out for early dinner or late lunch or something. Lunner, anyone?"

"Um... I... I don't have any money," Priscilla stammered, slightly red.

"That's OK," Legault dismissed it, "Heath can pay for you."

"Hey!" Heath protested.

"You aren't?" Legault raised his eyebrows. Heath shifted for a moment, then sighed.

"Well! Now that that's all settled, let's go to Pizza Hut. That's not too far away."

"All that grease is going to go straight to the place were it is least flattering, you know that?" Isadora grumbled.

"Yes, dear. Let's go."

Isadora rolled her eyes with a sigh, and jerked her head in an indication of "let's go".

Dinner – or "Lunner" as Legault insisted on calling it – was far more entertaining than Priscilla had thought it would be. Legault was more than a little strange – more than a lot strange, even, but he was fun to be around once you got use to him. He told her stories about Isadora and Heath, and they spent then entire meal either trying to get him to shut up or adding to the embarrassing story of the other. Priscilla couldn't remember laughing that much in a long time. She didn't even notice how much time Heath spent looking at her.

It was almost seven before they finally got home. By the time they finally did pull up in front of her house, she was out of breath from laughing. Isadora twisted around to look at her.

"Say "hi" to Raven for me, will you? He's not a bad guy, but we don't get to talk to him much." Priscilla nodded.

"Thanks for the drive Legault," she said politely.

"I can think of ways for you to pay me back, if you want," he suggested, a wicked grin on his face. Priscilla laughed.

"I'll see you tomorrow Heath, Isadora," She said, jumping out of the car and slamming the door.

She glanced over her shoulder once, when she got to the front door, and waved as they pulled out. Then she opened the front door and went in, only to trip over the mess she had made in the hall.

"... I guess I'll have to put all of this away first."

An hour later, Priscilla heard the door slam.

"Priscilla?" Raven called from the front hall. With a smile she scraped her chair back and ran to the top of the stairs.

"Where were you all day?" She asked.

"I was out. With Lucius," he said simply. Priscilla rolled her eyes.

"I think there's some TV dinners in the fridge," she told him.

"Haven't you had dinner yet?" She nodded.

"Yeah. I went out with some friends."

Raven's eyes narrowed a bit. "Who?"

"Isadora, Legault and Heath. Why? Oh, and by the way, Isadora and Legault say hi."

Raven nodded. "Fine. I'm going to go have dinner now."

"I'll be up here doing homework if you need me," she called as he disappeared into the kitchen.

With a sigh she re-seated herself in front of her textbooks. It seemed so wrong to be going homework after everything that had happened today, but what could she do about it? With a sigh, she flipped her math book to the assigned pages. As she did so a folded piece of paper caught her eye. She flipped back to the page and pulled it out. Opening it she saw her name at the top of what seemed to be a hastily written note. But who would write to her?

_Priscilla,_

_Would you maybe like to go to a movie with me sometime? Like, maybe this weekend, or after the play or something? If you don't want to that's fine...  
__I'll talk to you tomorrow._

_Heath

* * *

_

Whitney: Bwahah! Weak attempt at a cliffhanger!

Erk: joyness?

Priscilla: this had better be followed up on!

Whitney: I think every pair I mention will have a part in the story. Every pair gets one intermission, or shares an intermission, depending on how many I have.

Nino: R&R, be nice, tell us what you think, who should be with who, if our author should be an artist for you, etc.

Whitney: we are eagerly anticipate your feedback!


	12. Act 3, Scene 2 and 3: Face to Face

Whitney: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Finally! As promised, I drew some pictures of my costumes, you can see them here:

Nino: It's also on in the bio.

Whitney: Two scenes today, neither of them are very long. I've finally decided to do Review Reponses, yay! Those will be at the end of the story. Apologies to people who reviewed in earlier chapters, I really do appreciate you!

Erk: suuuuuuure.

Whitney: Are you still around? I thought Serra or Jaffar might have finished you off by now.

Erk: Nope, still here.

Jaffar: #appears behind Erk#

Whitney: ... You sure?

Erk: ... #sweatdrop#

Whitney: On with the story! -

* * *

Whitney: - Right after this disclaimer thing. 

**Disclaimer:** I don't know Fire Emblem, or anything else in this fic. But I think we all knew that by now.

* * *

"You'd think they'd wait until next week at LEAST to fix the roof," Hector grumbled as he and his group made their way towards the gym. Again. 

"At least we got a day and a half off," Lyn smiled happily. "That was a lifesaver! I almost didn't have my math homework done in time!"

"Math homework?" Hector asked. "What math homework?"

"Ah... that huge project we got at the beginning of the week that's due today?" Lyn said with raised eyebrows. "Did you FORGET? Hector! I reminded you yesterday and you said you had it all done!"

"Oh. That one," Hector said absently. "I'll just pay Matthew and copy his answers or something."

"Hector!" Lyn growled, punching his arm.

"Ow! Quit it Lyn!" Hector yelled and the two took off sprinting down the hall.

"Lively, aren't they?" Eliwood remarked to his girlfriend, who laughed.

As usual, Ms. Spencer was around ten minutes late, and arrived in the gym to find it in absolute chaos. "CLASS!" She screamed over the confusion. Silence reigned almost immediately and she took a deep breath. "I'm glad to see you're all rested from you're day – days – off, but now it's time to get to work. We're almost at Open House, and we have to be ready. Ok, we're going to work on Act 3, Scene 1 today... Nino, Olivia, Sain, Erk, and Kent, you'll all be acting today, as well as you, Rebecca. Get changed as fast as possible, I want to get through two scenes today if it's possible."

About fifteen minutes later everyone was assembled onstage/ offstage as the script demanded, and they were ready to start.

"Finally..." Ms. Spencer muttered to herself. "Begin whenever ready!" she called to the people on/offstage.

* * *

Lyn's POV

* * *

Lyn stood in the narrow "doorway" between offstage and onstage, watching in a perfectly placed rip in the black cloth that hung from the ceiling and surrounded the stage, Rebecca, Sain, and Erk with her. Onstage, Nino and Matthew stood face-to-face amid the props of her "garden". 

"Save thee, friend, and thy music! dost thou live by thy tabor?" Nino asked Matthew, obviously annoyed by his constant jangling of the tambourine-like instrument.

"No, sir, I live by the church," Matthew answered off-handedly.

"Art thou a churchman?"

"No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church," Matthew answered with a sardonic little smile that suited him and his personality just perfectly.

"So thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar dwell near him; or the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the church," Nino pointed out in a serious comeback.

"You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is but a cheveril glove to a good wit; how quickly the wrong side may be turn'd outward!" Matthew said this with a perfectly straight face, but he hard to fight hard to keep it that way.

"Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with words may quickly make them wanton," Nino dismissed him rather coldly.

"Ha. Way to go Nino," Lyn whispered. Nino was younger than anyone there, but she was perfectly suited for her part.

"I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir."

Nino looked a little surprised at this apparent change in the subject. "Why, man?"

"Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that word might make my sister wanton. But, indeed, words are very rascals since bonds disgrac'd them," Matthew said with another grin, accompanied by the groans of the people who understood his pun.

"Thy reason, man?" Nino asked.

"Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and words are grown so false, I am loth to prove reason with them."

"I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and car'st for nothing," Nino noted.

"Not so, sir; I do care for something; but in my conscience, sir, I do not care for you: if that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible."

"Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool?" Nino looked momentarily confused, but Lyn wasn't sure if it was by the words of the play, or something else. She'd have to ask Nino later.

"No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings, the husband's the bigger. I am, indeed, not her fool, but her corrupter of words," Matthew said straight-faced, but with a hint of humour in his words. Nino started giggling at that moment, and it took her a few moments to get herself composed again. Lyn cast a quick glance into the "crowd" and saw Jaffar glaring dangerously at Matthew. She'd have to warn him about that.

"I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's," Nino said, as if suddenly remember the fact.

"Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun, it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress. I think I saw your wisdom there."

"Nay, and thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee. Hold, there's expenses for thee," Nino said, holding out her hand as if giving Matthew the "coins" from her pouch.

"Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!" Matthew grinned, making a show of putting the coins away in his "back pocket".

"By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for one;" Nino said, then turned slightly to face the crowd. "though I would not have it grow on my chin." She turned back to Matthew. "Is thy lady within?"

"Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?" Matthew asked.

"Yes, being kept together and put to use." (Nino)

"I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus." (Matthew)

"I understand you, sir; 't is well begg'd." (Nino)

"The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar. Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will construe to them whence you come; who you are and what you would are out of my welkin,—I might say 'element,' but the word is over-worn," Matthew smiled as he turned and walked offstage- almost right into Lyn who was "hiding" there.

"Ouch! Matthew! You stepped on my FOOT!" Lyn yelled. A little too loudly.

"What's going on back there?" Ms. Spencer yelled.

"Nothing, just Lyn having a clumsy moment. We're done. Keep going, Nino," Matthew responded as both he and Lyn moved farther back offstage into the waiting area. "What were you doing?"

"I was watching," Lyn glared at him, rubbing her aching foot. "For a thief, you sure have a heavy foot."

"Who says I didn't know you were there?" Matthew asked, grinning slyly.

"MATTHEW!"

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE KEEP IT DOWN BACK THERE?" Ms. Spencer roared.

"Yes Ms. Spencer," Lyn and Matthew chorused meekly.

"Yeah. Be quiet Matthew," Lyn said peevishly as she moved back to the curtain to watch.

"This fellow is wise enough to play the fool; And to do that well craves a kind of wit: He must observe their mood on whom he jests, The quality of persons, and the time; And, like the haggard, check at every feather That comes before his eye. This is a practice As full of labour as a wise man's art: For folly that he wisely shows is fit; But wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint their wit," Nino remarked, glancing uneasily offstage where Matthew had disappeared. Lyn resolved to apologize later – right after she kicked Matthew's ass. Or got Hector to kick his ass. It was all the same thing.

"Excuse me, fair lady, but my companion and I have to get by you," Lyn turned and looked at Sain's silly grin and groaned.

"Sure, sure. Don't screw up," she said, squeezing to one side.

"I could never do wrong in your presence, fair lady," Sain said as he made his way onstage. At the last minute, Lyn placed a well-aimed kick at his ass.

"Save you, gentleman!" Sain cried as he came onstage, rubbing his sore bottom.

"And you, sir," Nino responded with a slight bow.

"Dieu vous garde, monsieur," Erk said with a falsely bad accent. It had been a very good accent in the early runs of the scene, but Ms. Spencer had told him that Andrew was an idiot, and had asked him to make the accent at least SOUND phoney. He did it very well, but only under protest.

"Et vous aussi; votre serviteur," Nino responded in the same language with a much better accent. By contrast, her's hadn't been as good as Erk's, and she had practised a lot to make it work.

"I hope, sir, you are; and I am yours," Erk said.

No one quite got the meaning.

"Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her," Sain said with a slight slurring of his words. It had taken both boys a long time to embrace the idea that they had to act drunk when neither really wanted to. And since Toby and Andrew were almost always drunk, it didn't help either's case much.

"I am bound to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the list of my voyage," Nino assumed a chagrined expression, like she didn't really want to be there.

"Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion," Sain said boldly, gesturing.

"My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs," Nino said, somewhat severely.

"I mean, to go, sir, to enter," Sain said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ready to go, Lyn?" Rebecca asked, coming up behind her. Lyn grinned and nodded, and Rebecca gave her a thumbs-up.

"I will answer you with gait and entrance. But we are prevented." Nino said, before being "interrupted".

"There's our cue," Lyn said, and moved out onto the stage, Rebecca right behind her.

"Most excellent accomplish'd lady, the heavens rain odours on you!" she said with a deep bow and almost made her fall over.

"That youth's a rare courtier. 'Rain odours'; well," Erk gripped unpleasantly.

"My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear," Nino said, choosing to ignore Erk.

"'Odours,' 'pregnant,' and 'vouchsafed': I'll get 'em all three all ready," Erk pushed on.

"Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing," Lyn snapped peevishly.

"Right away, milady," Rebecca whispered slyly as she headed once again offstage.

"Give me your hand, sir," Lyn said, offering her own to "Cesario".

"My duty, madam, and most humble service." (Nino)

"What is your name?" Lyn asked.

"Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess," Nino answered with another bow.

"My servant, sir! 'T was never merry world Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment; You're servant to the Count Orsino, youth."

"And he is yours, and his must needs be yours; Your servant's servant is your servant, madam," Nino said earnestly.

". For him, I think not on him; for his thoughts, Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me!" Lyn snapped, pretending to dwell on Orsino.

"Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts On his behalf," Nino said, looking slightly concerned.

"O, by your leave, I pray you, I bade you never speak again of him; But, would you undertake another suit, I had rather hear you to solicit that Than music from the spheres," Lyn said, taking on a suddenly pleading tone.

"Dear lady,—" Nino tried again.

"Give me leave, beseech you. I did send, After the last enchantment you did here, A ring in chase of you; so did I abuse Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you. Under your hard construction must I sit, To force that on you, in a shameful cunning, Which you knew none of yours; what might you think? Have you not set mine honour at the stake, And baited it with all th' unmuzzled thoughts That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving Enough is shown. A cypress, not a bosom, Hides my heart. So, let me hear you speak!" Lyn gazed into Nino's eyes, wincing slightly as she imagined how Jaffar would react to THAT little movement.

"I pity you," Nino said seriously.

"That's a degree to love," Lyn said hopefully.

"No, not a grize; for 't is a vulgar proof, That very oft we pity enemies," Nino said, moving away slightly.

"Why, then methinks 't is time to smile again. O world, how apt the poor are to be proud! If one should be a prey, how much the better To fall before the lion than the wolf!" A sudden chiming made them both jump and look out towards the back of the gym where Farina and Lucius were trying to get the small alarm clock to shut off without much success. Finally Raven came over and threw the clock against the wall, where it smashed into pieces.

"Raven!" Lucius cried out in anguish. "Now we'll have to buy another one!"

"I don't care, so long as the next one WORKS. Got it?"

Lucius stuck his lower lip out, but didn't say anything.

"Uh - The clock upbraids me with the waste of time. Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you; And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest, Your wife is like to reap a proper man. There lies your way, due west."

"Then westward-ho! Grace and good disposition Attend your ladyship! You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?" Nino asked, moving farther away from her again.

"Stay: I prithee, tell me what thou think'st of me," Lyn pleaded again.

"That you do think you are not what you are," Nino told her evasively.

"If I think so, I think the same of you."

"Then think you right; I am not what I am," Nino said earnestly.

"I would you were as I would have you be!" Lyn exclaimed.

"Would it be better, madam, than I am? I wish it might, for now I am your fool."

"O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful In the contempt and anger of his lip! A murd'rous guilt shows not itself more soon Than love that would seem hid; love's night is noon. Cesario, by the roses of the spring, By maidhood, honour, truth, and every thing, I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride, Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide. Do not extort thy reasons from this clause, For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause; But rather reason thus with reason fetter, Love sought is good, but given unsought is better." Lyn wasn't pleading – not quite.

"By innocence I swear, and by my youth, I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth, And that no woman has; nor never none Shall mistress be of it, save I alone. And so adieu, good madam; never more Will I my master's tears to you deplore," Nino said.

"Yet come again; for thou perhaps mayst move That heart, which now abhors, to like his love," Lyn said, using her last tactic to "ensure that Cesario would return".

"Very good, girls!" Ms. Spencer applauded. "Very good!"

"Hey, Jaffar – Now you got some REAL competition – Lyn!"

"HEY!" Hector, Nino, and Lyn all yelled at the same time, all turning to glare at Matthew, who suddenly decided he had a pressing engagement elsewhere and fled the room. No one really noticed Jaffar slipping out the back door.

"Remind me to kill him later," Lyn frowned flopping down on her chair next to Hector.

"Better yet, let me do it for you."

"I think I can live with that," Lyn grinned.

"Good."

"Er..." Ms. Spencer checked her watch. "Ok, we have time for another scene. Erk, Sain and Kent, you're on the stage."

"Thank you GOD," Erk mumbled, almost running to the stage. He'd been sitting next to Serra, and apparently had been dreaming about escape.

* * *

Kent's POV

* * *

"No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer!" Erk exclaimed, beginning the scene. 

"Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason," Sain said in a very annoying patronizing tone. For some reason almost everything Sain said was annoying to Kent. Unless they were talking about Lyn.

"You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew," Kent said with a serious look.

"Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the count's serving-man than ever she bestow'd upon me; I saw 't i' th' orchard," Erk said with a pout.

"Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me that," Sain challenged.

"As plain as I see you now," Erk said, still pouting.

"This was a great argument of love in her toward you," Kent said seriously. He liked this part. He could act almost normal, and everyone would think he was acting.

"'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?" Sain demanded.

"I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason," Kent said with a slightly self-satisfied grin.

"And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was a sailor," Sain said, although no one was really sure what it meant.

"She did show favour to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. You should then have accosted her; and with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have bang'd the youth into dumbness. This was look'd for at your hand, and this was balk'd: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sail'd into the north of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle on Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valour or policy," Kent told Erk. In other words: Olivia (Lyn) was trying to get Andrew (Erk) angry enough to confront her, but he hadn't and now he was in disfavour. It wouldn't have mattered either way, Kent thought glumly. Not in the play with Erk, and not in real life with him. Damn unlucky luck.

"And't be any way, it must be with valour; for policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician." (Erk)

"Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall take note of it; and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's commendation with woman than report of valour," Sain said, doing a "SUPER-HERO!" pose as he said it.

"There is no way but this, Sir Andrew," Kent said with an inward sigh, supporting Sain's encouragement that Erk stay, and not leave.

"Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?" Erk asked, a little plaintively, Kent thought.

"Never trust me, then; and by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wain-ropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were open'd, and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of th' anatomy." (Sain)

"And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty," Kent said seriously.

"Look where the youngest wren of nine comes," Sain said, looking behind Kent where Rebecca was emerging. Kent turned and watched her also, keeping his face impassive.

"If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turn'd heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christian, that means to be sav'd by believing rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings!" Rebecca squealed, accenting the last two words.

"And cross-garter'd?" Sain demanded, eyes gleaming.

"Most villainously; like a pedant that keeps a school i' th' church. I have dogg'd him, like his murderer. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropp'd to betray him; he does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map, with the augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such a thing as 't is. I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him; if she do, he'll smile, and take 't for a great favour!" Rebecca's smile was threatening to explode off her face, her eyes alive with mischievous fire.

"Come, bring us, bring us where he is!" Sain said, and all three of them ran off the stage.

"Very good people! Another excellent scene!" Ms. Spencer beemed from the audience while the class applauded half-heartedly. "Alright, there might be enough time for a third scene-"

**CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!**

"...Or not. You're dismissed, but be here promptly tomorrow!"

"Yes Ms. Spencer," the class choroused as they drifted - or ran - out the door.

* * *

Heath: DO THE REVIEW RESPONSES! 

Whitney: eeek! What're you doing here?

Heath: I didn't get a part in this chapter, so I get the whip.

Whitney: Who started THAT tradition?

Heath: Me.

Whitney: Oh goody.

Heath: REVIEW RESPONSES! Now!

#--Review Responses - New!--#

MiraiEvo: Thanks for the age info - that's about what we figured too, but it's still up to debate. If Serra's 25, I'd hate to think of how many time's she's flunked school in the real world.

Serra: I've never flunked! I just like school so much that I went back again! ... And again... and again...

Yeah. You get it. Also, I think that there might be a few problems if Jaffar went on a killing spree. He might end up in jail or something, and that wouldn't be good for the story!

Lady Lyndis: The costumes are up, if you want to go see them! Go! Go! :) I love Legault, since no one's sure if he's straight or gay. I meant the "ways to pay me back" to be funny, since he wasn't really serious - I think. ...O.O

Legault: #hitting on random passersby#

Maybe not...

And I swear you'll see more development of the couples... just not in this particular chapter. #sweatdrop#

elven-girl10: Same as I said to Lady Lyndis, go look at the costumes! If you liked the descriptions, I'm hoping you'll love the pictures. I could be wrong, of course... Ah well. -

And in response to Chapter 10; I know. Isn't it so great? I had so much fun with that.

Angel Dust2: I provide inspiration? Really? Wow. I didn't think that was possible. Whee! I can't say I'm a worshipper of Shakespeare either, but it was the only thing I could think of at the time. That or Macbeth, and I can't really think of a lot of funny things for Macbeth. (A lot of this story is based on my life at school. But you didn't hear it from me. #whistles#)

katelynn: And now Priscilla has a potential boyfriend. I'm leaving people in suspense until I do a Heath scene, which I think is next.

Firelien: If you haven't noticed yet, I listen to everyone's suggestions for my story... unless they suggest that I get out of writing fanfics. I'm so glad you like my Farina/Dart thing. They aren't in it very much, so I stuck them in when I could. And there are ALWAYS people who want to see the stupid movies... I guess that's why movie industires keep making them.

#--End Review Responses--#

Whitney: And that's all for today Folks!


	13. Act 3, Scene 3: Look who's Finally Actin...

I'm baaaaack! Finally! Long time for an update, I know! I'm sorry!

In the gap between my last update and this one, I've been thinking, and I think I'm going to have to beg forgivness for a few things:

1) There is no way in ANY world that Hector and Nino could even be considered related, let alone TWINS. For those of you who know how the story ends... well... try to be open-minded, OK? That would make my job a lot easier.

2) This is a really short chapter, for two reasons: a) the next scene is REALLY long and everyone is going to skip it and b) I was already halfway through writting it, but left it at school. It's getting to the point where I'm thinking along the lines of "MUST UPDATE!", and figured I owed it to you to update. And since I was going to skip this scene because of the length of the other one, I figured I might as well just write a quickie. So this one is short, and new - longer - one will be up within the week. I promise!

3) And last, I have to ask everyone to keep an open mind. I know I have one. And I really hope you all remember - or can imagine - what high school was/is like. #sigh# such "pleasant" memories of the home away from home...

And that is my begging and groveling for the week. Thank you. Now, to continue! 

Oh, but before we do: Since Hector starts EVERY chapter, and I need to evolve this more or less behind-the-scenes romance, I thought I'd start with someone else's POV this "morning". :) Enjoy!

* * *

Disclaimer: Don't own FE. Duh.

* * *

**::CAST::**

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina O

fficers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

Heath slunk as low as he could in the seat, trying to be inconspicuous. It really wasn't working. 

"Honesty. Do you except the mob to jump up out of the street?" Legault asked him with that strange smile of his.

"No. I expect them to come up out of the manhole covers – why would they blow holes in the street when they can just climb up ladders?" Heath said sarcastically.

"Someone's in a good mood."

"Drop it, Mob-boy."

"Heath!" Isadora poked her head through the gap in the front seats. "Legault was nice enough to give you a ride – what's your problem?"

"Well – "Heath began when they pulled up to a red light. Casually he looked out the window, only to dive for his book bag.

"Heath?" Isadora asked him, "What – "

"Shut up Isadora," Heath's slightly muffled voice came from between the pages of a hastily opened binder.

Isadora and Legault exchanged bemused looks.

"I just hope you remember to pick up all those papers you dropped when you get out," Legault told him, eyeing the loose papers settling over Heath's knee and feet.

"Yeah, yeah," Heath said, his head still stuck in the binder.

"Heath, what ARE you doing?" Isadora demanded.

"Studying for a test, OK?" Heath answered testily.

Legault craned his neck and looked out Heath's window and smiled. "Would it be a chemistry test, by chance?"

"DROP IT LEGAULT!"

"Testy, testy. Well, whatever you want," Legault said, burning rubber as the light turned green.

As it was, Legault decided to take a long route to school, and the bell had already rung by the time they got there. Isadora, who was in 12 and had a free first period, was in no hurry, but Heath had English class – and his being late was NOT going to sit well with Ms. Spencer, the tyrant of the classroom. Where the school board had ever managed to find someone like her was well beyond him. It was also behind him why she would want to do ANYTHING like putting on a play, a project that was quickly running out of time.

He practically sprinted through the halls, skidding to a halt in front of the grade 11 lockers. One hasty locker visit, trip to the "changing rooms", and detention slip for running the halls later, Heath finally got to the gym. As quietly as he could, he slipped into the gym, wincing every time the door made any noise – which it did every time someone touched it. It seemed that Ms. Spencer hadn't heard it, however – but this was Ms. Spencer, and you could never be sure of ANYTHING when you were talking about her.

Eliwood and Hector were on the stage, acting out what was probably their first or second scene. Surreptitiously Heath slid into the nearest seat in the back row.

"Where were you?" the person beside him asked, and Heath winced. "I saw you in traffic this morning, did you get lost?" It was Priscilla.

* * *

Hector's POV

* * *

"I am not weary, and 't is long to night; I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes With the memorials and the things of fame That do renown this city," Hector was saying – without much enthusiasm – when Heath came in. 

"Would you'd pardon me; I do not without danger walk these streets. Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the count his galleys I did some service; of such note indeed, That, were I ta'en here, it would scarce be answer'd," Eliwood was going on passionately – he might as well, since this was, like, his first scene onstage – while Hector watched Heath from the corner of his eye. It seemed that Heath had picked a seat next to Priscilla, and from the way he was squirming, he wasn't too happy about it.

"Belike you slew great number of his people," Hector said hurriedly after Eliwood jammed him pointedly in the ribs. It seems Eliwood's character – Antonio – was a wanted man for something in whatever the name of the place they were was. Hector really needed to start paying attention, but that was too tiring.

"Th' offence is not of such a bloody nature; Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel Might well have given us bloody argument It might have since been answer'd in repaying What we took from them; which, for traffic's sake, Most of our city did: only myself stood out; For which, if I be lapsed in this place, I shall pay dear," Eliwood spoke mournfully, probably for Ninian's benefit, Hector thought. Eliwood had been bragging to her about "what a great actor he was," and now he had to put up, or shut up. Whatever the reason for the melodramicity, it was really starting to get on Hector's nerves.

_(A/N: "melodramicity" is a word I made up. It's from "melodrama")_

"Do not then walk too open," Hector said bluntly.

"It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse. In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, Is best to lodge. I will bespeak our diet, Whiles you beguile the time and feed your knowledge With viewing of the town; there shall you have me."

It seemed Heath and Priscilla were talking, or making up over something, or… something. They were definitely doing something. Hector just couldn't figure out WHAT.

"Hector! What are you DOING?" Eliwood hissed to him.

"Huh? Oh! Ah… shit. Why I your purse?" Hector asked, a bit sheepishly

"Haply your eye shall light upon some toy You have desire to purchase; and your store, I think, is not for idle markets, sir," Eliwood said, for all the world acting as if he were a parent giving his son an allowance. Hector sighed.

"I'll be your purse-bearer, then, and leave you for an hour," Hector shrugged.

"To th' Elephant," Eliwood told him, JUST to irritate him farther it seemed. In reality, it was probably to make sure he didn't forget it in the TWO SECONDS since the last time he'd mentioned it.

"I DO remember," He said acidly, adding "my memory's not THAT bad," in his head. Ms. Spencer would have his hide if he said that out loud.

"That was good boys," Ms. Spencer said, nodding. "But Hector, watch those pauses. We can't have you zoning out onstage during the final presentation, alright? Now, I want the two of you to run over the first part again."

"WHAT?" Hector made a face. "But we already did that part!"

"Yes, I know," Ms. Spencer said with a saintly smile. "However, I don't think you're doing it properly. It's… lacking something. So, let's do the beginning again. If it's up to my standards, I won't make you do the whole thing over again. Got that, Hector?" She asked, her final words enhanced with a steely tone.

"Yes, ma'am," Hector said, glowering. "Slave driver," he added under his breath.

* * *

Eliwood's POV

* * *

"Your lead," Eliwood said pleasantly to his best friend of forever. 

"Wow, really? I hadn't noticed. THANK you, Eliwood," Hector said acidly.

"Anytime," Eliwood smiled.

Hector made something akin to a strangled groan, but soon gave up. "I would not by my will have troubled you; But, since you make your pleasure of your pains, I will no further chide you," He said, trying very hard – but not very successfully – to keep the disgusted look off his face. It was no secret Hector hated this scene. Eliwood did too, but he kept it from showing – most of the time. The "lacking" on their parts was the desire not to appear homosexual. There was nothing wrong with it, Eliwood mused, but it wasn't something you wanted to set yourself up with during high school. High schoolers were vicious, and anything – or anybody – was ripe prey for the vultures of the "upper" classes.

"I could not stay behind you: my desire, More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth; And not all love to see you, though so much As might have drawn one to a longer voyage, But jealousy what might befall your travel, Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger, Unguided and unfriended, often prove Rough and unhospitable. My willing love, The rather by these arguments of fear, Set forth in your pursuit," Eliwood told him, batting his eyes at him in a ridiculous fashion. He didn't really care what people said behind his back or in front of it, but his actions would drive Hector wild – which was the whole fun behind it. Making Hector angry was the sport of everyone in the school.

"My kind Antonio," Hector said in a voice that was a mixture of condescending and acidity, "I can no other answer make but thanks, And thanks, and ever thanks; too oft good turns Are shuffl'd off with such uncurrent pay: But, were my worth as is my conscience firm, You should find better dealing. What's to do? Shall we go see the reliques of this town?" he didn't sound too enthusiastic about the sight-seeing tour his was proposing, Eliwood noticed.

"To-morrow, sir; best first go see your lodging," Eliwood told him, trying to seem fawning and caring. It wasn't too hard – he just tried to imagine that Hector was a girl he was trying to hit on – Ninian, for example. Although, Eliwood thought to himself, Hector and Ninian were nothing alike. Still, it helped him act, and that was the main thing. Well, that and driving Hector up the wall.

"Alright, Ms. Spencer," Hector turned to the teacher, his eyes a bit desperate. "Can we GO now? Please?"

Ms. Spencer looked from Hector to Eliwood, then made a face. "Fine, you two are done. Step down. But Hector, I don't want to hear you missing any more lines, OK? You and Heath are going to report to me tomorrow at lunch so we can go over what happens when you miss a cue," Ms. Spencer turned to face a slightly red-faced Heath, "-Of ANY kind."

"Yes Ms. Spencer," Heath replied quietly. Eliwood noticed his hand was twitching slightly, as if he wanted to hit someone. I wonder who? He thought. Hector, on the other hand, made no secret of who it was HE wanted to hit. His face was bright red, and under any other circumstance, smoke might well have been pouring out of his ears.

"Fine, class, you are dismissed. Tomorrow's scene is very long, and I want it to be PERFECT. Have I made myself clear?" the steely tone was back.

"Yes MA'AM!" The class answered in proper military-like fashion.

* * *

And that was my quickie for the day. Now for my wonderful reviewers! (who I seem to have scared off...) 

Wandering Cat: Personally, I love Rath/Lyn. They're one of my favorite pairings, and they WERE going to be together in my fic. If you haven't noticed, though, if someone "happens" to mention that they like Hector/Lyn? Well, then, I don't really care all that much, so I'll just be nice and accomodate them. I AM going to give someone though... feel free to give me ideas (other than Lyn) who you want him with. I already have one idea from another reader, so... Y'know the drill.

elven-girl10: I'm updating! And I will again soon! But, since you're physic (Is that the right way to spell it? Oo ah, well...) you already knew that, right? heh heh heh. I'm so glad you like it.

Firelien: Matthew rates in my "top ten FE guys" list. I really like him - that's why he got a major part. And believe me, he got a big part. One that has a minium of fun being poked at him. ...Maybe I should change that. Have Jaffar threaten him into playing Malvolio? I don't think Jaffar would make a very good Feste (or "Clown" as the script calls him), do you?

xZero84x: Glad you like the pairings. It's so hard to make everyone happy, but I DO try.

Nikoli: #pokes# Now I'm going to get tons of threats for all the Sain fans. Hm... I wonder if Fiora is avaliable? Sain isn't all THAT bad, you know!

MiraiEvo: OO wow. That was one REALLY long review. ...WHEE! Anyway, yes, the last chapter was... kinda... bad. But I really needed to update. So I more or less threw something together. Kinda like this one. I hope this one is better than the last one, but I doubt it (Maybe I'm wrong). This one (should it be as bad as the last one) is really only a... appetizer, if you want, to the one I left at school. And, since I was bitten by the writer's bug, I really needed/wanted to update, sooo... here ya go! Hopefully the humour factor hasn't started boring a hole to China. However, I AM glad you found SOMETHING good about the last chapter. #phew!#

Now, if you'd just learn to review MORE than a day in advance of my next update, we'd all be fine. On the other hand, getting a late review from you tells me I've probably let my "break" go on too long. ;)


	14. Act 3, Scene 4: Sunny Days and Sarcasm

* * *

Yaaaay! I'm back! With another update! That's better than the last one! And sixteen times longer!! 

#eye twitches# I almost killed myself writing this, and I hope everyone out there appreciates it! This was a really long scene, and I ended up cutting a little bit out of it to make it a little more managable for me. Plus, it saved me from having to do any more of Jaffar's scene. It was kind of boring anyway. Poor Jaffar. We make so much for of him. :) Hee hee hee. Terror is fun.

Anyway, today we have the first instance of mistaken identity between Sebastian and Viola. I beg forgiveness - I KNOW there is no way that Hector and Nino could be related, but just PRETEND. Please. So, read on, try not to die in the process, enjoy the humour I tried to stick in during the play, and review!

* * *

Disclaimer Junk: Guess what? I don't own it. Wish I did - I could probably make a lot of money off it - but I don't own it.

* * *

**::CAST::**

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina O

fficers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

"Look at that!" Eliwood said admiringly. "The sun's out, the birds are chirping, the sky's blue and cloudless; it's an absolutely PERFECT day!"

"To spend locked up inside this brick and steel cage, devoid of any sunlight, never to see the sky again," Hector grumbled, casting a long glance out the window. "Ever notice life's never fair?"

"Only to you Hector," Lyn said, rolling her eyes. "The sky always darkens just as you get up every morning."

"Thanks, Lyn," he said sourly. "I just KNEW I could count on you for support."

"Anytime, Hector, anytime," she said sweetly. "Now, come on: it's time for class, and we don't want to be late, do we?" she asked, batting her eyelashes. Hector's eye twitched, but he followed her anyway.

"We'll see you in a bit!" Lyn called cheerfully as she and Ninian peeled off and entered the girl's washroom to change. Eliwood, smiling brightly, pulled Hector off into the boy's washroom. "C'mon, sunshine, time to change!"

"You... are...SO... crusin'... for... a... brusin'..." Hector growled, even as he rifled through his over-stuffed backpack, looking for his now very crumpled costume.

"Ms. Spencer's gonna yell at you for treating your costume like that," Eliwood warned him.

"Screw off, Eliwood," Hector grumbled.

Half an hour – and two dozen funny looks and witty comments – later, Lyn and Ninian emerged to meet their boyfriends.

"What is it about being a girl that makes you take forever to do anything that has to do with clothing or makeup?" Hector whined.

"Stop whining," Lyn commanded as she hitched up her dress. "You should try putting this thing on – it takes forever! There's so much of it!" Just for good measure she held out a bunch at arms length. "This is insane," she grumbled.

"On that, I'll agree," Hector conceded. "Now c'mon – if I hear one more little person who thinks he's funny ask me how long I've been waiting for my class, or my girlfriend, or whatever, I'm gonna snap."

"Did they really do that?" Ninian asked Eliwood.

Eliwood nodded. "Yeah. I think every other person who went by had something funny to say."

"Something to say, but it wasn't funny – ever."

"Geez, Hector, you're in a bad mood today!" Ninian noticed.

"He's ALWAYS in a bad mood," Lyn rolled her eyes.

"Blame it on the weather," Hector told them.

"But it's beautiful outside!" Ninian exclaimed.

"That's the whole POINT," Hector glared out the window, then sighed as they reached the gym. Just then the annoying bell – courtesy of Nils once again – echoed through the halls.

"It doesn't even have windows," Hector noticed sourly as they entered the gym. "Why can't they have windows in here? It's like a box."

"Because two-legged animals, called 'humans', like to compete in this room with things called 'sports'. These 'sports' can be very rough, since some of these two-legged humanoid peoples can be quite strong. If there was a "hole" in this "box"," Lyn made little bunny ears in the air as Eliwood and Ninian laughed silently behind the steaming Hector's back, "then one of these strong humanoids just might put a hard, round object, called a 'ball' through one of the holes, which are also called 'windows'," Lyn smiled innocently. "And that would be why they don't have windows in the gym."

"Remind me why I ever hooked up with you?" Hector mumbled to himself as he slunk to the front of the class, Eliwood and Lyn following him; Eliwood laughing his head off, Lyn looking for infuriatingly superior. "I hate life."

"Good day class, so nice of you to actually be here early," Ms. Spencer beamed at them from the front of the room. "So, let's get started right away. Lyn and Rebecca, onstage please, and Kent, Sain, Jaffar - you be ready, OK?"

"Yes, Ms. Spencer," Kent and Sain replied in unison.

"Did you get that Jaffar?" Ms. Spencer asked to silence. "Jaffar?"

"He says yes!" Nino chirped happily, hanging off his arm. Ms. Spencer rolled her eyes skyward, asking silently for patience.

"Ok, fine, whatever. Let's get started."

* * *

Lyn's POV

* * *

"Why do they make these costumes so bloody heavy?!" Lyn complained from her place offstage.

"Because Karel made them," Rebecca answered. "Besides, a costume isn't a costume if it isn't heavy and miserable."

"Yours looks light."

"It is," Rebecca said with a cheerful smile. Lyn sighed and hung her head in despair.

"Come on girls!" Ms. Spencer's voice called from the front. "Let's get this thing going! It's a long scene, and we DON'T have all day, you know!"

"Come on, let's go... we might as well. The sooner this is over, the sooner I can get out of this black death trap."

Rebecca giggled as the two of them made their way out onto the stage.

"I have sent after him; he says he'll come. How shall I feast him? What bestow of him? For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd," Lyn said, seeming to stare off at an image only she could see. "I speak too loud," she continued, chastising herself. "Where's Malvolio? He is sad and civil, and suits well for a servant with my fortunes. Where is Malvolio?" She said the last sentence with certain heat.

"He's coming, madam, but in very strange manner," Rebecca said with wide eyes. "He is, sure, possess'd, madam!"

"Why, what's the matter?" Lyn said with alarm. "Does he rave?"

"No, madam," Rebecca said, feigning worry. "He does nothing but smile. Your ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if he come; for, sure, the man is tainted in's wits."

"Go! Call him hither," Lyn commanded, and Rebecca hurried off the stage, wearing a mischievous smile. With a small sigh she continued. "I am as mad as he, if sad and merry madness equal be."

There was then a long pause. Rebecca was supposed to come out with Jaffar, but there wasn't anyone there... Lyn began to fell very stupid standing there, on her cue, waiting to the other two to re-emerge. "Guyyyyys!" She called in a stage whisper. "Where are you?"

"Rebecca and Jaffar! What are you two doing??" Ms. Spencer called.

"We're... having... a... bit... of... trouble, Ms. Spencer!" Rebecca yelled, sounding as if she were having a hard time with something. Lyn turned to look offstage to see Rebecca pulling – or pushing – or rather TRYING to push or pull the very reluctant Jaffar onto the stage. He was wearing Malvolio's second costume, and didn't want to come onstage. For a very good reason, Lyn thought, trying very hard not to laugh as she watched the two of them warring for the upper hand. It was clearly Jaffar's right now, since he was bigger – and stronger – than the slight Rebecca.

"Rath! Hector! Get up there and fix whatever's going on! Jaffar! Get out onstage!"

Hector heaved a visible sigh, and pushed himself up, followed by the closed-mouthed Rath. The two boys were quick to break Jaffar's grip on the props, and Hector more or less puppet-walked Jaffar onto the stage, even as Nino protested from the audience.

"Thanks," Lyn heard a breathless Rebecca say to Rath, who simply nodded in return. Then Rebecca ran out to join Jaffar – who wasn't looking very happy – on stage, as Hector jumped off stage to return to his seat.

"Are we ready to go YET?" Ms. Spencer asked peevishly.

"Yes Ms. Spencer!" Rebecca and Lyn chorused.

"Then GO!"

"Uh..." Lyn quickly ran through the script in her mind. It was hard to do this play without the script, and this scene was the longest – if you didn't count Act 5. "Oh!" She turned to Jaffar. "How now Malvolio!"

"Sweet lady. Ho. Ho" Jaffar said stiffly.

"Jaffar!" Rebecca elbowed him. Jaffar glared him.

"Smil'st thou?" Lyn tried to sound indignant. "I sent for thee upon a sad occasion!"

"Sad, lady. I could be sad; this does make some obstruction in the blood –"

"JAFFAR!!" Ms. Spencer bellowed. "Enthusiasm! Enunciation! Bring the part to life!"

Jaffar sighed, but Lyn saw him throw and quick glance at Nino before rolling his eyes. "Sad, lady! I could be sad; this does make some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but what of that?" he said, gesturing to his legs. "If it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is, 'Please one, and please all.'"

Lyn stared in shock for a moment before re-gathering her wits. "Er... Why, how dost thou, man?" She said, half shocked, before finally demanding, "What is the matter with thee?"

"Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed; I think we do know the sweet Roman hand." Lyn thought she noted a slight twitch in Jaffar's eyebrow. He might be doing it with more life, but he wasn't doing it willingly, that was for sure.

"Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?" Lyn asked, eyeing him with distaste.

"..." Jaffar seemed to be struggling with the next line, but he finally blurted it out, "To bed! Ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee."

"God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and kiss thy hand so oft?" Lyn cried, jerking her body away.

"How do you, Malvolio?" Rebecca asked, eyeing him – trying not to smile all the while.

"At your request! Yes; nightingales answer daws." Whatever THAT meant. Why couldn't they have the scripts that told them what everything meant on the side??

"Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?" Rebecca demanded, obviously angry by the "insult" to her "lady".

"'Be not afraid of greatness'; 'twas well writ," Jaffar said, nodding slightly.

"What mean'st thou by that, Malvolio?" Lyn asked, growing angry.

"'Some are born great,'—" Jaffar continued stubbornly through Lyn's burst.

"Ha!"

"'Some achieve greatness,'—"

"What say'st thou?!?" Lyn almost yelled.

"'And some have greatness thrust upon them!'" Jaffar said, almost as loudly.

"Heaven restore thee!"

"'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'—"

"Thy yellow stockings!" Lyn said with obvious distaste.

"'And wish'd to see thee cross-garter'd.'"

"Cross-garter'd!" Lyn cried with horror.

"'Go to, thou art made, if thou desir'st to be so;'—" Jaffar was doing well, Lyn thought. He'd been speaking more than she'd ever heard him, AND he hadn't cracked yet. Not that that really meant anything.

"Am I made?"

"'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'"

"Why, this is very midsummer madness!" Lyn cried.

Then Florina came onstage. Lyn had almost forgotten Florina was in the play... much like everyone else, probably. Florina was trying to get to her mark, and stay as far away from Jaffar as she could, and it wasn't really working well. She was half-hidden behind the curtains when she started speaking, but for some reason Ms. Spencer let it go.

"M-madam," Florina stammered, not very loudly.

"Louder, Florina!" Ms. Spencer called from the back of the gym. We can't hear you!

Florina gulped and tried again, a little louder. "Madam – "

"LOUDER, Florina!"

"M-Madam, t-the young gentleman of the... of... of the..." Florina stumbled for her next line.

"Count Orsino, Florina!" Rebecca whispered in her ear.

"T-the young gentleman of... of the Count Orsino's is return'd; I-I could hardly e-entreat him back: he... he attends your ladyship's p-pleasure." Florina blushed hard at the last word.

"I'll come to him," Lyn said kindly, nodding to indicate Florina's "dismissal". Florina gave her a weak grin and almost fled the stage. "Good Maria, let this fellow," she gestured disdainfully at Jaffar and noted – with some anxiety – that his jaw tightened and a tick appeared, "be look'd to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry."

"Cut!" Ms. Spencer called from the audience. Everyone on the stage stopped and looked at her in surprise.

"Very good, very good. However, we're quickly running out of time. So," she paused, leafing through the script. "We're going to skip Malvolio's speech, and we're going to go to... the point were Sir Andrew joins Toby and Fabian... and maybe Maria. Let's get started, then!"

There was a bit of grumbling at this sudden shift, but Jaffar seemed just mildly relieved to be spared any more speaking. Lyn had noticed that his voice had been going a little hoarse – probably because of the fact that he'd never talked that much before.

When Erk, Sain and Kent were on the stage, Ms. Spencer nodded, and they started, with Erk coming onstage from the side.

* * *

Erk's POV

* * *

"More matter for a May morning," Kent was saying as Erk moved up to his cue, beside "Toby".

"Here 's the challenge, read it; I warrant there 's vinegar and pepper in 't," he said, thrusting a blank piece of lined paper at Sain.

"Is 't so saucy?" Kent asked, a little surprised-sounding.

"Ay, is 't, I warrant him; do but read," he said, "Eager" for "praise". He made very sure to add the little quotation marks in his head.

"Give me," Sain said rudely, finally grabbing the proffered piece of blank paper and pretending to peruse it. "'Youth,'" he said, reading what "Erk" had "wrote", "'whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.'"

"Good and valiant," Kent said in an approving tone.

"' Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for 't.'" Sain continued.

"A good note; that keeps you from the blow of the law." KENT, at least, seemed to like it.

"' Thou com'st to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the matter I challenge thee for.'"

"Very brief, and to exceeding good sense—less." Erk sighed. It seemed EVERYONE had some line that no one else could understand.

"'I will waylay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,—'"

"Good," Kent interrupted Sain again.

"' Thou kill 'st me like a rogue and a villain.'"

"Still you keep o' th' windy side of the law; good." At least, Erk thought, even if Kent would never participate in a trick like the one they plated on "Malvolio", he would keep his fixation with the law. What WAS it with Kent and manners and doing things right?

"'Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy, ANDREW AGUECHEEK.'" Sain paused for a minute. "If this letter move him not, his legs cannot; I'll give 't him," he said dubiously.

There was a pause among the three, then a cry from the audience, "What do you MEAN, I'm supposed to be on!" Rebecca cried, jumping up from her seat next to Rath and almost flying up the aisle. Panting, she joined them.

"Uh – Y-you may have very fit occasion f-for 't;" She paused trying to get her breathing back to normal. "He is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart." It took Erk a minute to realize Rebecca was talking about Nino being with Olivia.

"Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-baily. So soon as ever thou see'st him, draw; and as thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twang'd off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earn'd him," Sain said with great pomp and circumstance. "Away!" he almost roared, and Erk took an uneasy step back.

"Nay, let me alone for swearing," he said over his shoulder as he walked offstage. FINALLY! He thought, leaning against the wall. Quiet time.

"Now will not I deliver his letter; for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth; he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, as I know his youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices." Sain closed his mouth suddenly and looked to the offstage. Erk suddenly found his "little space" quite a bit more cramped then normal when Lyn and Nino pushed past him to get onstage. He looked after Nino, sighed, and headed back further offstage.

* * *

Nino's POV

* * *

"Here he comes with your niece; give them way till he take leave, and presently after him." Kent 'whispered' in Sain's ear. Of course, that whisper was so loud, Nino was sure that the people at the back of the room could hear him.

"I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge," Sain said, then proudly led the way out, Kent behind him, rolling his eyes, and Rebecca trying very hard not to laugh.

"I have said too much unto a heart of stone, And laid mine honour too unchary out. There 's something in me that reproves my fault; But such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof," Lyn was saying to Nino, yet again praying the "Viola" would fall in love with her. Although she didn't know it, Nino did the exact same thing Erk did, adding the quotation marks in her head.

"With the same haviour that your passion bears, Goes on my master's grief," she said, trying to turn the conversation 'round to talk of Orsino, or Heath, or ... whatever.

"Here, wear this jewel for me," Lyn said, giving Nino a brooch one of the grade twelve's had found – Isadora, she thought – jiggling it slightly to get Nino to take it. "'t is my picture: Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you: And I beseech you come again to-morrow. What shall you ask of me that I'll deny, That honour sav'd may upon asking give?"

"Nothing but this," Nino said, "—your true love for my master."

"How with mine honour may I give him that Which I have given to you?"

"I will acquit you,"

"Well, come again to-morrow; fare thee well. A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell." Lyn said, before turning and exiting to offstage – right after she stepped – very hard – on Sain's foot when he blocked her way. Nino winced slightly.

Limping slightly, Sain and Kent emerged onstage as soon as Lyn was past them. "Gentleman, God save thee!" Sain cried to Nino, who started to feel a little apprehensive.

"And you, sir," she answered politely.

"That defence thou hast, betake thee to 't. Of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end. Dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation; for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly," Sain went on, and on, and on, growing more and more forceful. It was making Nino feel a little intimidated – which, she supposed, was kind of the point.

"You mistake, sir;" Nino said, trying to be polite. "I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man."

"You'll find it otherwise, I assure you," Sain said gaily. "Therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath can furnish man withal."

"I pray you, sir, what is he?" she asked.

"He is knight, dubb'd with unhatch'd rapier and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorc'd three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word; give 't or take 't."

"I will return again into the house and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valour; belike this is a man of that quirk," Nino said, trying to find a way out of the fight Sain was happily proposing.

"Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury," Sain winked at Kent. "Therefore get you on and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me which with as much safety you might answer him. Therefore on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you."

"This is as uncivil as strange," Nino said. "I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose."

"I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return," Sain said, and with a flourish, left the stage. There was certainly a lot of coming on and going of the stage in this scene.

"Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?" Nino asked Kent when Sain had left.

"I know the knight is incens'd against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more," Kent said, adding to the terror Sain had started against Nino.

"I beseech you, what manner of man is he?"

"Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can." Kent offered.

"I shall be much bound to you for 't. I am one that had rather go with sir priest than sir knight; I care not who knows so much of my mettle," Nino assented and the two of them made their way offstage. Nino hastily apologized to Erk when she, quite by accident, followed Lyn's example and trod heavily on his foot.

"Why, man, he's a very devil;" Sain was saying loudly as he and Erk walked onto the stage. "I have not seen such a firago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion that it is inevitable; and, on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say he has been fencer to the Sophy."

"Pox on 't, I'll not meddle with him," Erk said, turning his back and trying to walk offstage. Sain hurriedly grabbed his arm.

"Ay, but he will not now be pacified; Fabian can scarce hold him yonder," Sain said, pulling him back to the middle of the stage.

"Plague on 't; and I thought he had been valiant and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damn'd ere I 'd have challeng'd him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, gray Capilet!" Erk said, struggling against Sain's grip to get away. Nino had the distinct impression that Erk was fighting the urge to scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooO!"

"I 'll make the motion. Stand here, make a good show on 't; this shall end without the perdition of souls," Sain said, pressing down "lightly" on Erk's shoulder – so lightly, in fact, that Erk almost screamed in pain. Then Sain turned his back to Erk and "whispered" loudly enough for people on the other side of the school to hear him, "Marry, I 'll ride your horse as well as I ride you!"

"Come on, Nino," Kent told her. "Let's get this over with."

"OK!" Nino said, and followed Kent out.

"I have his horse to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him the youth 's a devil," Sain said privately to Kent when the four of them were onstage.

"He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels." (Kent)

"There 's no remedy, sir:" Sain said to Nino with a smirk, "he will fight with you for 's oath sake. Marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not hurt you."

Nino stared at him, then turned to "aside" and said, "Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man!"

"Give ground, if you see him furious." (Kent)

"Come, Sir Andrew!" Sain said boisterously to Erk, "there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it; but he has promis'd me, as he is a gentleman and a avoid it; but he has promis'd me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to 't!"

"Pray God, he keep his oath!" (Erk)

"I do assure you 't is against my will," Nino said nervously as both she and Erk drew their prop swords, courtesy of the fencing club.

Just then a cry came from offstage, making Nino jump. That wasn't part of the play, but it worked well. She found out who it was as Eliwood rushed from offstage onstage and stood between her and Erk. Addressing Erk, Kent and Sain, he cried, "Put up your sword. If this young gentleman Have done offence, I take the fault on me; If you offend him, I for him defy you!"

"You, sir! why, what are you?" Sain yelled.

"One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will."

"Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you." Sain yelled at Eliwood, and the both of THEM drew THEIR swords. Again, courtesy of the fencing club. Just before they could start, Lowen and Karla darted from offstage, swinging little cudgels.

"O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers!" Kent cried. Nino personally thought that Kent would probably be a better officer than Fabian.

"I 'll be with you anon," Sain warned Nino.

"Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please." (Nino)

"Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promis'd you, I 'll be as good as my word; he will bear you easily, and reins well." (Erk)

"This is the man; do thy office," Lowen said, facing the wrong way because of his hair. Nino saw Ms. Spencer hang her head and sigh.

"Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of Count Orsino!" Karla said in a carefully rehearsed tone.

"You do mistake me, sir," Eliwood said with wide-eyed innocence.

"No, sir, no jot;" Lowen said, still facing the wrong way. Nino had to hide a smile as she watched Ms. Spencer bang her head against the back of a padded audience chair. "I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Take him away; he knows I know him well."

"I must obey," Eliwood said in a submissive tone that wasn't him at all. He then turned to Nino and continued, "This comes with seeking you But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. What will you do, now my necessity Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me Much more for what I cannot do for you Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz'd; But be of comfort."

"Come, sir, away," Karla barked at him.

"I must entreat of you some of that money," Eliwood tried again, a little more forceful this time.

"What money, sir?" Nino asked, surprised. "For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, And, part, being prompted by your present trouble, Out of my lean and low ability I 'll lend you something. My having is not much; I 'll make division of my present with you: Hold, there 's half my coffer."

"Will you deny me now?" Eliwood cried in anguish so real Nino was surprised. "Is 't possible that my deserts to you Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Lest that it make me so unsound a man As to upbraid you with those kindnesses That I have done for you!"

"I know of none; Nor know I you by voice or any feature. I hate ingratitude more in a man Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption Inhabits our frail blood," Nino said with some heat.

"O heavens themselves!" (Eliwood)

"Come, sir!" Karla said, getting annoyed. "I pray you, go."

"Let me speak a little," Eliwood said to Karla before turning back to Nino. "This youth that you see here I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death, Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love, And to his image, which methought did promise Most venerable worth, did I devotion."

"What 's that to us?" Lowen demanded to the wall. "The time goes by; away!"

"But O how vile an idol proves this god! Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame. In nature there 's no blemish but the mind; None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind. Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous evil Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil." (Eliwood)

"The man grows mad!" Lowen exclaimed. "Away with him! Come, come, sir."

"Lead me on," Eliwood sighed, as he and Karla moved offstage. Lowen, also following the cue to get offstage did just that - by walking OFF the stage and falling with a loud THUD to the laughter of his classmates. Ms. Spencer threw up her hands and groaned.

When the laughter had died down, Nino continued. "Methinks his words do from such passion fly That he believes himself; so do not I. Prove true, imagination, O, prove true, That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!"

"Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws." Sain said to his cohorts.

"He nam'd Sebastian," Nino continued, oblivious to Sain, Kent and Erk. "I my brother know Yet living in my glass; even such and so In favour was my brother; and he went Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, For him I imitate. O, if it prove, Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love!" Then, much pleased with her performance, she left.

"A very dishonest paltry boy," Sain said with distaste after Nino had hidden herself offstage, "And more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in necessity and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian."

"A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it," Kent agreed – for once – with Sain.

"'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him!" Erk declared.

"Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword," Sain cautioned.

"And I do not,—" Erk said, the last part of whatever he was going to say getting cut off. That is, if there WAS any more of what he was going to say. Shakespeare was very hard for Nino.

"Come, let's see the event," Kent said to Sain.

"I dare lay any money 't will be nothing yet," Sain answered – much to Nino's confusion, since it didn't really make sense – and they both headed offstage. Nino made a hasty retreat to avoid having any more stepped-on toes.

"Is that it?" Ms. Spencer called wearily. "Good. Perfect. You can go. No, wait – everyone but Heath and Hector can go. The rest of you dismissed. And Lowen..." Nino heard an audible sigh. "Please get a haircut before you kill yourself."

"It'll have to wait Ms. Spencer," Lowen said earnestly. "I have a driver's test tomorrow, so the haircut'll have to wait!" His announcement was met with another groan from Ms. Spencer, and nervous laughter from the drivers of the class.

Nino was the last of the backstage group to emerge, and looked around for Jaffar. He usually waited for her. To one side she saw Hector and Heath getting chewed out by Ms. Spencer about the importance of timing and being on time and not being distracted by things in the audience, etc. etc., and at the front of the gym by the doors, Priscilla and Lyn hanging around waiting for the two boys to be finished. Nino smiled to herself. Since Priscilla was waiting for Heath, did that mean the two of them were together? That would be nice. Heath was a good person, and so was Priscilla, and they both deserved girlfriends/boyfriends.

She made her way to the gym doors, her books in one arm. She greeted Lyn and Priscilla cheerfully as she past them, and entered the school hall.

It wasn't the prettiest school in the world. It was one of the older ones, and a few decades of wear and tear by boisterous students – and random vandals – had erased some of its glory. But to Nino, it was her home away from home, were she got to be with friends away from her disapproving mother. And Jaffar. There was always Jaffar. Sonia didn't approve of him – Sonia never approved of anything – but he was nice to have around.

She uttered a little squeal when she felt the doors she was carrying pulled out of her arm. She looked up, and saw Jaffar looking straight ahead – now carrying her books. She smiled happily. This was how things were supposed to be.

* * *

Aww! How sweet! I'm getting cavities. I stuck that in there for a friend who asked me if anything bad was going to happen to Nino-Jaffar. No. It's not. I like them too much. This friend also asked me if I was going to do another play - she requested a "Midsummer Night's Dream". Maybe. Readers can suggest plays (providing people WANT me to do another one) or you can tell me to bugger off and get away from Either one is fine. So long as you review.

**Review Responses**

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xZero84x: I'm forgetting someone? Er... oO that's not good. #ducks Hector's axe as he tries to chop her up for not letting him pound Eliwood# Help!

elven-girl10:

1) Glad you're happy I updated.

2)No, you are NOT mistaken! It just happened!

3)Thank you. I inked them, but I haven't put the new copies up yet. Must get around to that sometime. Next year or so! : )

Firelien: MINE! Heath is MINE! This is MY fic. #grabs Heath and runs off, thus starting a war of the Heath fangirls# Oops.

...eer... anyway! Glad you liked it! Hopefully this one was better than the last one. I hope.

Wandering Cat: With the possible exception of Heath, Rath is my favorite. I don't mind venting. Venting is good. You get to act like a steam valve. It's kinda cool. My sister does it all the time. She looks like Buu (DBZ) when she does.

#wanders into Cat's dreamworld# Hmm... not to bad. If it was ME, however, I'd rather it had more normal people. Chibies are cute, but cuteness only gets you so far ;)


	15. Intermission 3: Sleepover Heaven and Hel...

Oh Lookie! Another intermission! I know how much everyone just LOOOOVES my intermissions! We're getting really close to the end now. One more intermission (and an epilogue), and two more scenes. I hope you people really like long chapters, because my finale is one LOOONG act. : ) Break out those long attention spans!

And, since everyone seems to like my idea of doing "A Midsummer Night's Dream" as a... sequel, or maybe a seperate play altogether, I will now be taking casting calls from now until the second chapter of AMND. Start reviewing now, so I can make EVERYONE happy! (plus... I can't decide who should be who with the exception of Matthew (duh!))

* * *

Friday afternoon and the bell rang. Even as the last traces of the bell died away, it was replaced with the excited chatter of students as they moved from the classroom to their lockers, making weekend plans as they went. Rath moved with the main throng out to the hall, staying silent as he did. Silence was good. People talked too much anyway, so why did they need him adding to the confusion? 

"Rath! Hey, Rath!"

Rath turned silently, looking for the all-to-familiar voice that was calling out his name. It wasn't that he didn't like the person – it was just that Wil never seemed to shut up.

"Hey! Hey!" Wil greeted Rath when he finally caught up to him. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house this weekend? We're, like, having this, I dunno, sleep-over party-type thing for the people in the archery club, and I mean, you're, like, the best of us, so I mean you've just gotta come, y'know? I mean, it, like, wouldn't be the archery club without you, y'know what I mean?" Wil paused for a moment to breathe and watch Rath's expressionless face. "Well?"

Rath looked at Wil for several moments before arching one eyebrow. "Sure."

"YEAH! I knew you would!" Wil grinned. Did this boy... man... person, ever shut up? "Ok, so it's like, tonight, at my house, you know where that is, right? Right, and, uh, ok, it's like sleepover, and there's girls gonna be there too, just so ya know, and we're gonna watch a movie and play some games and all of that, ok? Just so you know, it starts at, like, 5, 'cause people all gotta go home and change and get ready and all that, y'know, and its all night, and you can come whenever you want to, 'cause there's no rush, and I'm home all day – well, y'know what I mean, it's my house, so DUH! I'm gonna be there, why else is the party sleep-over thingy at my house – "

"WIL!" one of the teachers called.

"Oh, oops, I guess that my mom's waiting for me or something, you know how parents are, huh? I mean, they just never go AWAY, and they just nag and nag and nag and talk and they NEVER shut up, y'know? So, yeah, I'll see you tonight, right? Right, yeah, I mean, we can ALWAYS count on you! You're solid, dependable Rath, right? Right! See you then eh – "

Rath stood, staring after Wil as his high voice was slowly drowned out in the general chatter of the other students. He sighed and turned back to his locker.

"Hey Rath!" Another high voice greeted him. He groaned inwardly and had to exercise extreme restraint to keep from adding a few more dents to his locker – with his head.

"Hello, Rebecca," he said evenly as he turned around.

"Hey, are you going to Wil's "party" tonight?" She asked, a little nervously he thought.

"Maybe."

She looked a little more nervous at his on-word answer. "I'm not sure if I'm going to go. I mean... I dunno." Her voice trailed off.

"...Why wouldn't you go?"

"Uh... well, I mean... it's just... ah... I have... homework, you know? And, if I go, I might... fall behind or something..."

"...Tell you what," Rath offered. "If you go, I'll help you catch up any homework you don't do."

"Really?" Rebecca's head snapped up and she smiled at him. "Oh..." She seemed at a bit of a loss for words, and stood there, looking for something to on," Rath said, picking up his backpack and heading for the exit. "I'll drive you home."

"What - ?" Rebecca stood, shocked for a second. "Hey! Wait! Rath! Wait up!" she called as she ran after him.

A few hours later Rath stood on the doorstep of Wil's house, wondering for the thousandth time why he was there. It wasn't like he was the sort of person to go to parties. And Lyn wasn't exactly available anymore, unfortunately. Wil was annoying; nice, but annoying. Bartre was... stupid. There was no other word for it. Unless you asked him to spell it: stew-pyd. And Rebecca... well, he wasn't quite sure what to make of her. She was young, and cute and... cheerful. Very much like Wil. Then again, they had almost grown up together, so that was understandable. People from nearby neighborhoods seemed to develop similar personalities. Rebecca was just a bit more practical than Wil. Probably something to do with being a girl.

He reached up, but before he could ring the bell it was thrown open, almost hitting him in the face. "Hey, Rath, I knew you would make it! You're a bit late, y'know, but who care, you're here - ...Rath? ... Why are you down there?" Rath glared up at the happy-go-lucky teen boy from where he lay sprawled on the sidewalk.

"Wil? Next time... WATCH how you open the door."

"Huh? Oh, right. I forgot the door opens outwards. Sorry about that! Well, come on in, you'll forgive me right? Yeah, of course you will!" Wil answered for him. Rath groaned. Didn't he get enough of this at school? Why was he wasting a Friday night going through intentional punishment?

"Why don't you, A) help Rath up off the pavement, and then B) invite him in, Wil?" Rebecca asked, peering around the doorframe.

"Oh! Right! Thanks Rebecca!" Wil grinned and bounced down to help Rath up. Rath scrambled up on his own, however ungracefully he had to do it. Hearing Wil was bad enough.

"Thanks," he said, not really meaning it. Why would he thank anyone who would whack him with a door? Maybe he should teach Wil a few things about archery... while filling him with holes. That could be fun.

"Hi, Rath," Rebecca greeted him as he – finally – got to the door. "You all right?"

"Yes," he nodded. Ok, so maybe he didn't HAVE to be so curt, but it was a hard habit to break.

"That's good," Rebecca smiled. Nothing kept her down for long, he noticed. "Come on! We're watching 'Indiana Jones'!" Sometimes Rebecca reminded him strongly of Wil.

Inside the archery club sat sprawled around Wil's living room. Lyn sat on the floor leaning against the couch. Bartre was sitting on an overstuffed chair, stuffing his face with something that could have been chips or popcorn – he was eating it so fast Rath couldn't tell. Wil bounced past Rath and Rebecca and scurried about, putting the movie on. Rebecca walked past Rath and sat down on the couch and indicated that Rath could sit next to her. Rath shrugged slightly and sat down.

"Are we all ready?" Wil asked, smiling cheerfully.

"Yes, Wil!" Lyn said, a little testily Rath thought. "Just start it, alright?"

"Yes, mi'lady," Wil said with a smile and started the movie.

Finally, after 10 minutes of previews – Wil refused to fast-forward through them – and Bartre having to re-fill his popcorn/chip bowl at least 4 times, they finally got to the movie.

Three hours or so later – although it felt a lot longer – the movie finally rolled to an end. Rath breathed a sigh of relief. Watching a movie about a guy with a girls name running around trying to find an ark – or whatever it was – wasn't his idea of fun.

"Wow, that was fun!" Wil grinned, then looked at his watch. "Well, it's almost 10 – what kind of pizza do you guys want?"

"Everything!" was Rebecca's vote.

"Pepperoni," Lyn said.

"Hawaiian!" Bartre yelled, spraying popcorn bits all over the room. Rath tried to ignore him.

Wil looked a little intimidated. "Er... can we... just decide on one? I don't think I can afford 3 or 4..."

"What kind do you want, Rath?" Rebecca asked him. Rath shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. Everything is fine."

"Oh... um, ok, one everything... a pepperoni, a Hawaiian... um..." Wil looked a little uneasy. Rath rolled his eyes.

"Wil," he said, "get one medium everything, and one large with one half Hawaiian and one half pepperoni."

Wil looked at him, surprised, for a few moments, before a smile spread across his face again. "Yeah... yeah! That's great! Good idea, Rath! Thanks!" he cried, before running out to the kitchen to put the order in.

Rebecca smiled at Rath. "How did you know all that?"

"... I worked for a pizza place. Last summer."

"Really?" Rebecca looked surprised. "I didn't know that."

"I didn't tell anyone."

"Why not, Rath?" Lyn asked, looking over at him. Sometime during the course of the movie the ground had gotten hard and she'd moved up to sit next to Rebecca on the couch.

He shrugged. "No one wanted to know."

"Aw, that's not true!" Rebecca declared.

Rath shrugged again. "Doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!" Rebecca was looking a little concerned, and the look she was giving him was a little odd. "We do care about you, Rath! You shouldn't just assume we don't care!" he raised an eyebrow at her, then decided giving in would just be easier than fighting.

"If you say so, Rebecca."

"I do!" she sounded a little upset, and when he looked at her, she blushed a little and the other way. He frowned, then sat back to wait for whatever punishment Wil had in plan next.

"So, what's next Wil?" Lyn asked when he finally returned.

"Shrek!" Wil said happily, ignoring Rath's – almost – silent groan. Rebecca heard it, and flashed him a quick glance.

The pizza came some twenty minutes later. Wil jumped up and ran to the door, tripping over Lyn in the process, who had moved back to her place on the floor. There was then a delightfully semi-quiet interlude while the pizza was divided up among the archers, and then it was back to the movie. Rath considered staying in the kitchen, just to get away from the stupidity of it all, but when Rebecca waited for him, he sighed and grudgingly followed her into the living room where the mindless torture continued.

It was past midnight when the movie ended. Rath liked the ending the best. Not because it was in any way funny or touching, but because it meant the end of the movie, and an end to the inane "humor".

"Wow!" Wil exclaimed. "That was fun! Let's do that again!"

Rath groaned.

"I'm willing to watch as long as you have more popcorn," Bartre grinned stupidly before placing the metal bowl on his head. What DID Karla see in him?

"Let's not," Lyn said. At least there was ONE other person in this place with SOME sense.

"Okay, then," Wil thought for a minute. "I know!" he cried. "Games! And the first one is – TWISTER!" Rath let his head fall back against the couch with a loud "thunk" that Wil didn't seem to hear. The girls did, though. Lyn grinned a little and Rebecca looked concerned. But they were all too soon immersed in a twisted game, and no one had any time to concentrate on anything but themselves and the ground in front of them.

It was almost 4:30 in the morning when the "partiers" finally got to bed. Or rather, got to get close to their beds. Rath didn't stay in his for long. He could hear the girls across the hall, giggling and whispering, and sometimes laughing uncontrollably – especially when Bartre snored extra loud. That was mainly the reason Rath was up. He couldn't sleep. Wil was asleep. Wil could talk and sleep through anything. For once in his life, Rath wished he could be Wil. Just so that he could get some sleep. Irritably he slunk into the hall, since anything was better than staying there listening to Bartre.

"Ok Rebecca," Lyn was saying. "Now it's your turn. Which guy do YOU like?"

Rath stopped to listen, but when – or if – Rebecca said the name, Bartre let out a really loud snore – one that seemed to shake the floor as well as the windows – and Rath missed the name.

"Are you serious?" Lyn cried. "Rebecca!" It didn't sound like she was displeased though, whoever Rebecca'd named.

"What? He's cute, he's cool, he's single... as far as I know, anyway..."

"What about Wil?"

"I refuse to marry a childhood friend, Lyn!"

"Raven?"

"He's too cold."

Bartre let out another loud snore and Rath missed Lyn's next question.

"I dunno..." Rebecca was responding. "He only really looks at you though. I don't think I've got a chance. But it's nice to dream, you know?"

"I know Sain's looking at you."

"Sain looks at EVERYONE, Lyn, and you know it!" Lyn laughed.

"That's true. But I don't think you should just lie back and say, 'Oh, that's it. He's never going to be mine.' Be positive! No one could resist you if you tried Rebecca!"

"You think so?"

"I know so. Sometimes you've just gotta give a little, y'know?"

"Is that how you got Hector?" Rebecca teased. Lyn coughed.

"Er, tell you what 'Becca. Let's go to sleep, huh? It's, like, 5 now, and we've got all weekend to get into trouble. OK?"

Rebecca was trying hard not to laugh at Lyn's diversionary tactics. "Whatever you say, Lyn." Bartre snored again. "If we can manage to sleep through that racket!" They both laughed and then settled down.

Rath stayed in the hall for a while longer, looking at the ceiling for lack of anything else. Everything was silent, and even Bartre's snoring seemed quieter. Then he smiled, took another look at the girl's room, and went back into the one he was sharing with Bartre and Wil, to get what sleep he could before the sun came up.

* * *

Lalala! Don't forget to do casting call for AMND! 

So that was my Rath-centered part. Depending on how people like it, I'll develop that relationship farthur, or kill it before it's born. Rath-lovers, act now or never! (this is the part in Shrek where "you talk now or forever hold you're peace". I really hope you're reading this!)

And now, on to my LOVELY Response Reviews for all the wonderful people who reviewed!

Review Responses.

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elven-girl10: I'm really glad everyone liked the Jaffar parts! I don't think Jaffar was too happy about them though, because he keeps on making mysterious gestures with his hand... kinda like he's reaching for a knife -.-;; help!

Bloody Mary: There shall be more Nino/Jaffar moments. I love them. They are the best. There will be more! I will write more, as I write more Jaffar/Nino moments! Just not in this chapter, since neither of them are mages and it's based around Rath anyway.

WildfireDreams: Hopefully, this chapter will have lived up to your expectations. I think everyone really likes the MND thing : )

Firelien: If I do do AMND, Matthew WILL be Puck. There is no other option. I think Lucuis as the girly-man in Bottom's posse would work too. : ) I skipped most of Jaffar's stuff becuase it's so hard to make him act. In fact, it's damn near well impossible. Why, to get the few moments he WAS onstage I had to promise him that Heath couldn't marry her at the end of the play! ... Which may present some problems, no?

::starts a tug-o-war over Rath::

Wandering Cat: It got to long (DBZ) for me to watch. I mean, you could skip 15 episodes, and NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN! But I'm glad you think all my characters (mine, they don't belong to me, but that's beside the point) are in character, I try as best I can. Also, I'm glad I can give people an excuse not to do their homework!

K-Girl: Poor, poor Lowen. I don't know what I'm going to do with him. But I'm glad everyone found this chapter so funny! : )

katelynn: Personally, I CAN'T see Jaffar wearing ANYTHING other than black... well, maybe red. And you... can have your pick of the three. Whichever one you want! However, I might want to keep an eye out for Farina, Serra, and a girl to be named later (possibly Leila?), because when they find out that you stole their boyfriends.... BOOM! ::cackles like Hanna the freak::

flamefirefox: Almost 3 in the morning?? O.O Eek! Go to bed! As for Rebecca... I dunno. As hinted at in this chapter, I don't really want to put her with one of the two - three? - people she can go with. Wil's too hyper, Lowen's too ugly, yadda yadda. So this might just be my one out-of-game pairing in the entire fic.

I'm allowed to live dangerously once, right? ; )

And I'm sure I could fight SOMETHING about Raven and Lucius in... an incident behind close curtains comes to mind.... 3

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Thanks to everyone who reviewed - and will review - and don't forget to leave me some ideas about who should be who in a midsummer night's dream! If you can't remember the cast list, check out sparknotes. com

Enjoy!


	16. Act 4, Scene 1: Rainy Day Blues

I'm back again! I've been updating a lot, I'm proud of myself! This is a quick update because I'm going away for the weekend, and wanted to get something up before I left. So, here it is! Enjoy!And review if you like, or even if you don't!

**

* * *

Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

Monday morning. It was dark, wet, dark, cold, dark, windy, dark, cloudy, dark, and looked like it was closer to midnight that noon.

The "elite" sat around in the cafeteria, eating lunch, more or less universally unenthusiastically. Hector stared broodingly out the window, the clouds reflecting the moods of the people at the table. None of them were having a good day, the weather outside having a direct impression on their moods.

"So..." Lyn started, more trying to start a conversation than anything else. "Everyone ready for that test?"

"Test?" Hector asked, looking stricken. "What test?"

"That Spanish test that even I know about!" Mathew told him. Matt didn't take Spanish, but knew about it anyway. Hector groaned and hung his head in his hands.

"I'm dead."

"You should have STUDIED!" Lyn chided him harshly.

"Shut up, Lyn."

"YOU shut up!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Eliwood yelled. It was more the fact that he was yelling, more than his words, that got everyone's attention. Eliwood sighed and shook his head. "But really, Hector, what are you going to do? You've only got lunch, and then, if you're lucky, you might be able to study through English..."

"No I can't," Hector shook his head. "I'm in the next scene."

"Sucks to be you, then," Lyn said snidely. Hector looked like he was about to respond, but then thought better of it.

"Um... I could help you... if you wanted..." a barely audible voice came from the end. Florina's eyes went wide and she stared at her lunch when everyone at the table looked towards her.

"Florina?" Lyn asked, sounding a bit shocked – not that anyone could blame her. "Are you sure?"

"Sure! I heard Florina's great in Spanish!" Matthew said, making Florina's face look like a ripe tomato.

"I didn't even know she was IN Spanish!" Hector said. Lyn punched him. "Ow!"

"I-I-I'm go-good with the w-writing part... I t-think I could help... i-if you want..." her voice trailed off. Hector stared at her then looked to the ceiling.

"Hallelujah!" He must have been really loud because everyone in the room turned to look at him, and Florina jumped so badly she ended up knocking her tray – and Matthew's, who happened to be sitting next to her – on the floor.

"Augh! Florina!" Matthew yelled jumping up. "You spilt my pop all over me!" Florina looked like she was about to cry.

"Get over it, Matthew," Hector told him, scraping his chair back. "If it does any sort of damage to your clothes – with those old rags I doubt it – send me a bill for dry cleaning. A REAL bill, not forge, OK?" He said over his shoulder as he pulled Florina out of the lunch room, Matthew's yells of protest far behind.

"Now... where to. How about the library?" Hector asked Florina.

"T-t-t-the l-libraries f-f-fi-fine."

"Good. Lemme grab my books and I'll meet you there, OK?" Hector let go of Florina's wrist and dashed off. Florina, still very wide-eye leaned against the wall, trying not to fall over, and to get her breath back. After some twenty minutes or so – maybe more – she ran to get her books and meet Hector in the library.

The Annoying Bell Kid – aka Nils – ran through the halls of the school at 1, running over two students who had to be sent to the nurse. Someone overheard the nurse saying it was a new record for Nils – 4 kids in one day, and he hadn't even done the end-of-school bell. The gym slowly filled with peevish students in medival costumes, most of whom didn't look too happy to be there. Lyn, Eliwood, Ninian and Matthew took their customary seats in the front row.

"Where ARE they?" Lyn burst out after 30 seconds of quiet sitting.

"Who?" Eliwood asked, looking up at Lyn.

"Hector and Florina!"

"Ah, they'll be here. Why? What are you worried about?" Matthew asked. Lyn glared at him, then fell silent.

"Good afternoon, class!" Ms. Spencer chirped as she came through the gym doors. "I hope you're all feeling well today!" Everyone rolled their eyes. If anything, everyone was universally having the worst day of their not-to-long lives. Not that that mattered to TEACHERS. "So, if we're all here, let's begin – " she was interrupted by the door slamming open and Hector rushing in, followed by a wide-eyed and breathless Florina.

"Sorry we're late, Ms. Spencer!" Hector gasped. "We got a little preoccupied and didn't notice the bell." Lyn's eyes narrowed dangerously at that point. Ms. Spencer eyes the two of them, then shrugged.

"Fine then. Alright, who's up?"

"I am," Hector said, raising one hand.

"Me!" Matthew jumped up from the front row knocking Ninian accidentally – or maybe not – into Eliwood.

"Erk, I, and Kent, shall also be!" Sain said, trying to look impressive. Several people rolled their eyes.

"I think I'm in it at the end," Lyn said, shrugging.

"Oh, good, good! Everyone knows their part! Alright, let's get started then!"

"It took a few minutes, but eventually Matthew and Hector stood on the stage, with Lyn, Erk, Kent and Sain standing offstage.

"Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?" Matthew declared, exasperated.

"Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee." Hector said, trying to wave Matthew off.

"Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither!" Matthew threw up his hands. "Nothing that is so is so."

"I prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else; Thou know'st not me," Hector put particular emphasis on each of the words, trying to get it across to Matthew that he didn't know who or what the fool was looking for.

"Vent my folly!" Matthew seemed outraged. "He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady; shall I vent to her that thou art coming?" He jerked his head and stared Hector down. Or tried to, anyway.

"I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me. There 's money for thee; if you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment," Hector said, flipping Matthew a "coin" with one hand, and waving his fist dangerously with the other.

"By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase," Matthew said mockingly.

Then the "Trio" came onstage.

"Now, sir, have I met you again? there 's for you," Erk said, his hand going for his sword, and trying to draw it. He wasn't very good at it though, and almost fell over. This got a lot of laughs from the people in the audience, and Erk turned almost as red as Florina. Hector fought not to laugh out loud.

"Why, there 's for thee, and there, and there. Are all the people mad?" Hector wondered aloud.

"Hold, sir," Sain said imperiously "or I 'll throw your dagger o'er the house."

"This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of your coats for twopence!" Matthew said then ducked offstage – right into Lyn. There was a pause in the play until the fighting, swearing, and general confusion was cleared. When it finally was, Sain cleared his throat.

"Come on, sir; hold."

"Nay, let him alone: I 'll go another way to work with him; I 'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it 's no matter for that." (Erk)

"Let go thy hand!" Hector exclaimed.

"Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well flesh'd; come on," Erk 'goaded' Hector.

"I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now? If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword." (Hector)

"What, what?" Sain cried, alarmed. "Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you."

Then Lyn moved in from offstage. She limped a little bit, but that was the only sign of her skirmish with Matthew.

"Hold, Toby!" She cried. "On thy life, I charge thee, hold!"

"Madam!" Sain looked quite surprised. Maybe there was some hope for him as an actor.

"Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd! Out of my sight!" She yelled at them. "Be not offended, dear Cesario," she said much softer, looking at Hector, then back to the Trio "Rudesby, be gone!"

The Trio fled.

"I prithee, gentle friend, Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway In this uncivil and unjust extent Against thy peace. Go with me to my house;And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou therebyMayst smile at this: thou shalt not choose but go; Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me, He started one poor heart of mine in thee," Lyn said with an imploring look, taking hold of Hector's hand. He did his best to act like Cesario might, confused and bewildered.

"What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream. Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep; If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!" Hector said, more to himself that Lyn.

"Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou'dst be rul'd by me!" Lyn said, asking, in some obscure way, for him to marry her. At least... that was what the Coles notes said. Hector thought about that for a minute. Marrying Lyn would be interesting, at least.

"Madam, I will," he said, bowing.

"O, say so, and so be!" Lyn said, and the two of them walked offstage.

"Good, good!" Ms. Spencer cried. "Wonderful job, the both of you. Now, I want the next group onstage, doing the next scene. NOW!" Everyone scrambled to agree.

"Well. That wasn't too bad," Hector said, sitting down next to Lyn.

"Where you expecting it to be bad?" Lyn demanded, anger flaring up.

"Not really, no," Hector said calmly. "What's your problem, Lyn?"

"Nothing!"

Hector shrugged, sat down, and pulled out his Spanish notes to study.

"Oh yeah, how was studying with Florina?" Ninian asked. Hector rolled his eyes.

"She's smart, she knows what she's talking about, but MAN!" He shook his head. "She stuttered so much, I had to ask her to repeat herself every other word! It took me forever to get ANYTHING!"

"Is that why you missed the bell?" Eliwood asked.

Hector nodded. "I was concentrating on trying to figure out what she was saying, and she was blushing and looking down – neither of us noticed the bell until the library found us," he paused, looking thoughtful. "I think the library thought we were kissing, or worse, from the look on her face." He laughed. "People!" He didn't notice Lyn was staring at him intently. She then leaned across and kissed him on the cheek. "Hey!" He said, turning to face her. "What was that for?" (he wasn't unhappy, just surprised).

"No reason," Lyn said cheerfully, leaving Hector to wonder just what had happened.

* * *

Bwahah, the end. Now, I'm sorry to everyone who reviewed last time: I don't have the time for responces, so I'll do EVERYONE next time. I promise!

Enjoy!


	17. Act 4, Scene 2: From Behind Closed Doors

Well, another quick update! Go me!

Thanks SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed, I love you! And since I ended up breaking my leg at a soccer tournament (just KIDDING! ... well, almost) I have a lot of time. We're nearing the end, people, so I guess I'd better hurry up and tie up all the end!

Guest appearance at the end! :)

* * *

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras:**

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

Tuesday morning began as it normally did. With Hector whining about something. 

"But it's THURSDAY! We don't have English on Tuesday!"

"Well today we do!" Lyn snapped at him. "I didn't arrange it, the fates are NOT conspiring against you, and you're lucky rabbit's foot is NOT broken! So get over it! Now get your ::BLEEP:: - ing costume on, and LET'S GO!"

Matthew stood to one side and snickered with Eliwood and Ninian as Hector walked towards the bathroom, costume in hand, looking at the floor, muttering as he went.

"Honestly," Lyn muttered, stalking over to the group. "Can't he be happy about ANYTHING?"

"He was happy about hooking up with you," Ninian pointed out. Lyn glared at her.

"Well, if you want MY opinion," Eliwood grinned, "the two of you are a perfect pair!"

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Lyn growled.

"Nothing," Eliwood smiled in that infuriatingly innocent manner and started whistling. Lyn glared at him.

"Concentrate on the good things Lyn," Matthew told her. "Nice weather, the beach, the fact we don't have anything but English today..."

"Yeah, yeah," Lyn cut him off. "I'm going to the gym to wait for class to start. Drag Hector down with you when you're done, OK?" and with that she stalked off.

Nils's daily track run around the school took longer than normal, so most of the kids were late when they finally drifted in to the gymnasium. Most of them weren't very happy about the all-day English class, but most of them had different reasons.

"I can't believe we're missing Chemistry today!" Erk nearly wailed. "We were having a LAB today!"

"That's ok, Erky," Serra smiled at him. "We get to spend the WHOLE DAY together! Won't that be FUN?" Erk stared at her in horror then buried his head in his hands and sobbed.

"This bites," Heath gripped. "I get to sit around, all day, as one of the main characters, and I'm only in, like, two scenes! This, really, BITES!"

"Thank GOD!" Guy stared at the ceiling. "We were supposed to have a chem. Lab today," he said as way of explanation to the startled Florina sitting to his right. She gulped a little, nodded her head, and edged away.

"Alright people, cut the chatter!" Ms. Spencer screeched from the doorway. Several people winced – she'd found the bullhorn from wherever Matthew'd hidden it. Hector glared at Matthew, who grinned, slightly shamefaced. "As you know, Open House is TWO DAYS AWAY," She yelled into the bullhorn as she stalked up the aisle. "We are going to have TWO FULL DAYS of rehearsal until EVERYONE IS READY! For every mistake, you will have to stay ONE HOUR, until you get EVERYTHING RIGHT! Any questions?" She glared over the top of the bullhorn. Several people were in shock and stared at her with their mouths open.

"To make sure nothing else goes wrong," She continued, "For someone who screws the same scene up twice, you will have to spend one hour of PRIVATE TUTOURING – "

"That doesn't sound so bad," Priscilla said.

"WITH KAREL!"

Priscilla's eyes went wide. "Ok," she said, "That's bad."

"Now, let's get this started!" Ms. Spencer said. Rebecca and Matthew you are UP HERE NOW! Sain, Jaffar, you will ALSO be in this scene. BE READY!" With the threat of Karel and extra practice hanging over their heads, Rebecca, Matthew and Sain walked up to the stage. Jaffar came behind them, but from the death glare he gave Ms. Spencer, he wasn't really worried about either of these things. "BEGIN!" Ms. Spencer screeched as Matthew and Rebecca took their places.

"Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard; make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate: do it quickly; I'll call Sir Toby the whilst!" She said, thrusting a package at him before hurrying away.

"Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown," Matthew said. "I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar. Ah," he looked up to the offstage. "The competitors enter."

"Jove bless thee, master Parson," Sain said, bowing to Matthew as if he were someone of importance.

"Bonos dies, Sir Toby:" Matthew greeted Sain, his Spanish accent horrible. "For, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, 'That that is is;' so I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for, what is 'that' but 'that,' and 'is' but 'is'?"

"To him, Sir Topas." (Sain)

"What, ho, I say! Peace in this prison!" (Matthew)

"The knave counterfeits well; a good knave," Sain said as they stood in front of a "cell" made of fabric and construction paper. Matthew couldn't help feeling a little apprehensive, since there was no way ANY cage or cell could hold Jaffar.

"Who calls there?" Jaffar's voice growled from inside the cell.

"Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic," Matthew said matter-of-factly in a slightly lower voice than his regular one.

"Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady," Jaffar's voice came after what seemed a very long and nervous silence.

"Out, hyperbolical fiend!" Matthew said in mock disgust. "How vexest thou this man! talkest thou nothing but of ladies?"

"Well said, master parson," Sain said with a silly grin. Rebecca rolled her eyes, since Sain was in no position to be talking.

"Sir Topas, never was man thus wrong'd; Sir Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in..." there was a pause. "...hideous... darkness." THIS from a man who lived and breathed darkness.

"Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Say'st thou that house is dark?"

"As hell, Sir Topas." It was eerie, since Jaffar almost sounded cheerful when he said that line.

"Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clerestories toward the south north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction?" Matthew tried to sound surprised.

"I am not mad, Sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark." (Jaffar)

"Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzl'd than the Egyptians in their fog."

"I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abus'd. I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question." (Jaffar)

"What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl?" Matthew asked, and was answers by a few giggles and snickers from the crowed. Those, in turn, were interrupted by Ms. Spencer screaming something into her bullhorn. There was a very long pause.

"...That the ..." there was another pause from the cell. "soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird."

"What think'st thou of his opinion?" Matthew asked, much like a physiatrist with a patient.

"I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion," Jaffar's voice was very harsh coming through the gate.

"Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness; thou shalt hold th' opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well." Matthew turned to leave.

"Sir Topas!" Jaffar's voice growled, but by then Matthew, Sain and Rebecca were "out of earshot."

"My most exquisite Sir Topas!" Sain beamed at Matthew.

"Nay," Matthew it off. "I am for all waters."

"Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown; he sees thee not," Rebecca noted, looking at "Malvolio's" "Cell".

"To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou find'st him; I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently deliver'd, I would he were, for I am now so far in offence with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber," Sain said, then both he and Rebecca left, walking to offstage.

"Hey, Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does." Matthew sang, once again within distance for "Malvolio" to hear him.

(A/N – unless indicated, everything Matthew says is singing.)

"Fool, - " Jaffar harsh voice began.

"My lady is unkind, perdy."

"Fool, - " Jaffar was cut off again.

"Alas, why is she so?"

"Fool, I say,—"

"She loves another—" Matthew stopped and looked around. "Who calls, ha?"

"Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't," Matthew was more than a little surprised. Jaffar's acting actually... sounded good! He gulped, hoping Jaffar really WAS acting, and not secretly plotting to kill him.

"Master Malvolio?" Matthew pretended to be surprised.

"Ay, good fool."

"Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?" Matthew asked, pretending to be concerned.

"Fool, there was never man so notoriously abus'd; I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art!"

"But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool." Matthew pointed out.

"They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses," there was a harsh accentuation on the last word. "and do all they can to face me out of my wits."

"Advise you what you say; the minister is here," Matthew said, then dropped his voice again. "Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble." He said in the voice of "Sir Topas".

"Sir Topas!"

"Maintain no words with him, good fellow," 'Sir Topas' said. "Who, I, sir?" Matthew feigned innocence – as much as he could, talking to himself. "Not I, sir. God be wi' you, good Sir Topas! Marry, amen. I will, sir, I will." Talking to oneself was a very confusing affair.

"Fool, fool, fool, I say!" Jaffar called.

"Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent for speaking to you."

"Good fool, help me to some light and some paper. I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria!"

"Well-a-day that you were, sir!" (Matthew)

"By this hand, I am," Jaffar protested. Matthew tried, but couldn't think of any time he had ever heard Jaffar talk so much. Well, away from Nino anyway. "Good fool, some ink, paper, and light; and convey what I will set down to my lady. It shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did."

"I will help you to 't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed, or do you but counterfeit?"

"Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true." (Jaffar)

"Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will fetch you light and paper and ink," Matthew said, turning to go.

"Fool, I 'll requite it in the highest degree; I prithee, be gone." (Jaffar)

Matthew grinned and started singing again.

"I am gone, sir,

And anon, sir,

I 'll be with you again,

In a trice,

Like to the old Vice,

Your need to sustain;

Who, with dagger of lath,

In his rage and his wrath,

Cries, ah, ha! to the devil:

Like a mad lad,

Pare thy nails, dad;

Adieu, goodman devil."

Then he skipped merrily offstage.

"Good job!" Ms. Spencer's bullhorn-enhanced voice yelled. "Alright, people, let's go! Next scene, GET UP THERE!" Matthew groaned. This was going to be one LOOOOOONG day.

At lunchtime they were allowed to get out of the gym. Jaffar was sulking in the corner, with Nino nearby, trying to cheer him up – not that it was working. Florina was being comforted by Karla after earning an afternoon with Karel, Lyn and Hector were arguing – each now had one hour with Karel for fighting during scenes – and Eliwood and Ninian were trying to be inconspicuous as they made out. Matthew grinned. All in all, it was a normal day.

"Hey, Matthew," Heath greeted him as he walked up.

"S'up?" Matthew nodded.

"Not too much. But dude, Legault just called me and said there's someone waiting for you down by the lobby," Heath shrugged. "He told me to pass it on. Later man," he said as he walked off.

"Later," Matthew called after him. He stood thinking for a moment, then headed down for the lobby.

"Hey there Matthew," someone greeted him from behind as he entered the lobby. He turned.

"Leila!"

"In flesh and blood," she grinned at him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Oh, y'know," she said evasivly. "The usual."

Matthew shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Well, you could come with me," she said slyly. "I've got the day off, y'know?"

"But I don't," Matthew pointed out. Leila grinned and held up a cell phone.

"Hello?" She said, acting like she was talking to someone - the cell phone was off. "Yes, this is Matthew's mother. We have a family emergecy - yes, his grandmother's sick. I'm very sorry, but can you let him out early? Yes? Oh, thank you SO MUCH! Just tell him his sister will be picking him up - yes, yes, don't worry. Thank you very, _very_ much!" she winked at him, and Matthew laughed.

"Alright sister dearest," he grinned, taking her arm, "let's go!"

* * *

And I am now officially out of ideas. If, by popular demand, people want to see more Leila, she and Matthew may be the focus of my next intermission - I have one more. So get your votes in - which couple do people want to see in the final intermission? And now, on to my Review Responses for the last two chapters. 

**Review Respons**

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Wandering Cat: Meh, doesn't really matter WHAT chapter you read first. Start at the back and work your way forward! : ) I'm glad SOMEONE likes the Rath-Rebecca idea... I won't pursue it too far in this story, but in the next on - AMND ;) - I might. But who cares, so long as I put Rath in?

Wandering Cat (again): I'm so glad you like it! Looks like Florina isn't as weak as we thought, hmm? And you wanna know something? I need speel checker be four aye can spell an knee thing right.

WildfireDreams: Yes, it DOES look that way doesn't it? : )

Nikoli Delphinki: I did. Are you really surprised? Go Rath! ::huggles::

Nikoli Delphinki (again): They are. ::glomps Jaffar:: --gets fried by Nino-- ouch...  
  
xZero84x: wow, Lyn's jealousy is a big hit! OO I'm gonna hafta do this more often! But doesn't interesting usually translate into "bad"?

flamefirefox: I know. I warned people that it was! Of course, if I'd known all the time I was gonna have... And yes, I'm sorry there was no translation. There won't be much in the way of translation for the rest of the play (the next two chapters)... but hopefully you won't mind TOO much. I have an idea for A Midsummer Nights Dream (which hopefully you'll read), that will fix that problem. I swear!

elven-girl10: I promist Ephidel will be in the play. Although... who could I pair HIM up with? Limstella? Hm... bad guys as the lead parts.. oO interesting idea...

Bloody Mary: Hector is indeed clueless. Even in the real game he's clueless. He's just like me. Maybe that's why I like him so much.

Bloody Mary (again): I'm glad SOME people like R and R. They probably won't get anywhere with each other, but... Jaffar and Nino... ::evil grin:: heh heh heh heh heh....

WildfireDreams: Usually I put pair people up so that I can get the most people paired off (wow that was a lot of "p"s). Usually it's Rath-Lyn, Hector-Florina, Kent-Farina (which I still might do), Sain-Fiora... etc. Glad you'll keep reading it though.

AND! Just for you! Leila!! : )

A fan of fire emblem: Meh. No one really said they wanted Sain/Rebecca or I woulda put 'em together. Maybe next story.

flamefirefox (again): Keep an eye on the my sequal. You might be surprised : ) I usually support those pairings, but I am by no means picky.

elven-girl10 (again : )): Glad you likes it. But don't worry... Jaffar's JUST FINE where he is right now. Moving him might get me killed. I promise to try and use Ephidel, one way or another.

xZero84x (again): Is Hearken stupid? I've never gotten him in the game. Well, actually, hold that thought. I have had him before. He just kept killing everyone though. Isadora, Marcus (WHOO HOOOOO!), Kent, Eliwood... yeah, I guess he IS stupid. But anyway, if you really DID miss the pairings (how's ja do that?) it's Rath/Rebecca. Not that I think it's going to go anywhere. I'm just playing : )

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**Ja ne!!!**


	18. Act 4, Scene 3: Fiasco!

Wow. I didn't think I would get such a big response to my story. Yay! People really like Leila. I guess I'll have to put more of her in : ) hee hee hee.

We're getting really close to the ending, so Ill give you a brief outline of what's going to come. First, after this chapter, there will be ONE MORE intermission. After that comes Act 5, with only one scene. That one scene will be divided into three parts: Part 1 is backstage, Part 2 is the actual play, then part 3 is the after-play chaos. There will also be a short epilogue at the very end. So, we're looking about 5 more chapters' people. Start buying tickets! ;)

* * *

**Main Characters:**

Orsino - Heath

Olivia - Lyn

Sebastian - Hector

Viola - Nino

Antonio - Eliwood

Maria - Rebecca

Valentine - Wil

Curio - Rath

Toby - Sain

Andrew - Erk

Malvolio - Jaffar

Feste - Matthew

Fabian – Kent

**Extras: **

Captain: Guy

Attendants: Serra, Priscilla

Servant: Florina

Officers: Lowen, Karla

Priest: Ninian

* * *

Friday morning was a blur. Hector sat with his head resting on the seat in front of him, trying to catch up on the sleep he'd missed the night before. 

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE, RUN THROUGH THAT SCENE AGAIN!" Ms. Spencer yelled, and the people onstage groaned. Hector did too. Seriously, the ultimate evil of the universe could NOT be worse than this. He was wrong, of course, but he didn't know that.

Lyn reclined next to him, stifling a yawn. Everyone involved in the play – backstage, lighting, musicians Hector didn't know they had, grade 12's, grade 11's – it was a mass of people and mistakes, and too tired people tripping over each other.

Hector and Nino were onstage, talking to each other, and Nino said a key part, where a spotlight was supposed to shine on her. It come on briefly, flared too bright – making Nino yell – and then died. There was a loud thud from backstage, and a mass of yelling. Ms. Spencer did NOT look happy as she stalked backstage.

"What is going on?" she demanded, glaring at Farina and Lucius, the two lighting people.

"He started it!" Farina said, pointing at Lucius. Ms. Spencer glared.

"What were you two DOING?"

"Lucius said we had to press THIS button," Farina pointed to a panel with thirteen billion buttons on it, "And I said it was THIS one."

"I was right, and she wasn't, but she wouldn't stop pushing the button!" Lucius wailed. "And then I BROKE A NAIL!" Ms. Spencer stared at him, then hung her head.

"I give up," she looked at the ceiling. "You two, work together, or I'll put someone else on lighting. Lucius, STOP CRYING! Farina, pick up that board, we've got work to do!" Ms. Spencer snapped, then walked back onstage to be greeted by the fiasco that had erupted there. Heath had gone to see if Nino was alright from the lighting malfunction, Jaffar had intervene and the two of them were now staring down, Hector, Lyn, Eliwood and Ninian looked on the verge of sleep, Erk was being terrorized by Serra – like normal – and Matthew was chatting it up with Isadora and some other girl that didn't go to their school.

"People!" She yelled. The general noise level died down, a little at least. Her eye twitched. "PEOPLE!" She screamed. THAT got their attention. Of course, the fact that she screamed into a bullhorn helped a bit. Several pairs of wide eyes stared up at her, until Erk – and Serra – fell to the floor with a thump that got everyone's attention. Ms. Spencer sighed. This was going to be a looooooong dress rehearsal.

The break the class got for "lunch" didn't come until almost 1:30 in the afternoon. Some people – the one's who didn't do anything – ran around, yelling and screaming and generally getting into trouble. Hector sat at the table with his friends, trying to concentrate on food. It was hard with almost all of his friends – exceptions of Florina, Matthew, Leila – who didn't really count – and Ninian – falling asleep around him. Lyn, in fact, WAS asleep, leaning on his arm and making it very hard for him to eat anything.

"Um... Lyn? Hey – Lyn. LYN!" he yelled. That woke her - and several more people who'd been sleeping nearby. "I can't really can't eat with you leaning on my arm," he said. She might've said something – it sounded more like a growl – but let it go, putting her head down on the table. Hector sighed. He hoped he be able to get some before midnight, or something close to that. His brother was going to kill him if he was any later.

"Ok, class!" Ms. Spencer yelled. "Back to the gym!" There were several groans, but everyone got up and moved obediently back to the gym.

They were in the middle of going over Act Five when the gym doors opened and a class of elementary students filed in, laughing and jabbing fingers, staring at the room around them – and taking seats in the front row. Ms. Spencer called all the cast together backstage and had an impromptu pow-wow.

"We're going to have a dress rehearsal," she told them, "for the grade 6 students. Think of this as you're final run-through, alright?" she looked around. "It's also to get you used to performing for someone other than your peers. Any questions?"

Florina raised her trembling hand. "D-d-d-do we ha-have to?"

"Yes," Ms. Spencer sighed. We have too. Now, look alive – we'll do this, run once more through some trouble spots, and then you can GO HOME!" There was some cheering from that, and everyone ran to their posts.

There were some minor interruptions during their dress rehearsal. Farina and Lucius got into another fight over lighting, Raven ended up smashing the second alarm clock and they had to substitute it with cymbal – stolen from the arts room by Matthew. Florina almost fainted when she had her three seconds onstage, and Rath had to drag her off. Sain and Rebecca got too close together during one of their scenes, and Sain kissed her. She slapped him, and there were several giggles from the audience. Near the end, things were going great. It was in Act 4, Scene 2 – with Jaffar "locked" in his cell, that one of the lights came on, almost blinding Matthew.

"Fo – HEEEY!" He yelled covering his eyes. "What's the idea?"

"CUT!" Ms. Spencer yelled, then stalked to the lighting section to see what was going on. She came back out muttering and shaking her head, followed by a moony-eyed Lucius, who told them that it was Farina and Kent in the back, and that Lucius had interrupted them, making Kent lean against the light switch. He didn't tell them exactly what Kent and Farina'd been doing, but there were a few giggles and sly glances thrown Kent and Farina's way, but finally things got back on schedule.

Finally, Scene 2 came to a close, and it was Act 3. Hector was a little nervous, and Lyn looked a little red – not that she would look at him – and Ninian was dancing around, very happy to FINALLY be wearing a priests dress. It had took them forever to get her hair hidden under the hat, and there was no way she'd ever pass as a boy, but all in all the effect wasn't bad. She got one – and probably more – kisses of "good luck" from Eliwood, then it was their turn. Without turning a hair, Hector walked out onto the stage.

"This is the air; that is the glorious sun;" he said, looking around as if in wonder for the little children in the audience – not that they knew ANYTHING of what was going on. "This pearl she gave me, I do feel 't and see 't; and though 't is wonder that enwraps me thus, yet 't is not madness. Where 's Antonio, then?" He wondered, looking up and looking around, as if searching for someone. "I could not find him at the Elephant: Yet there he was; and there I found this credit, that he did range the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service; For though my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed all instance, all discourse, That I am ready to distrust mine eyes And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me To any other trust but that I am mad, Or else the lady 's mad; yet if 't were so, She could not sway her house, command her followers, Take and give back affairs and their dispatch With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing As I perceive she does. There 's something in 't that is deceivable. But here," he looked offstage and smiled at Lyn, who he could just see offstage. "The lady comes."

"Blame not this haste of mine," she said, as if apologizing. "If you mean well, now go with me and with this holy man," she gestured at Ninian, and Hector struggled to stop a grin. "Holy Man"? NINIAN? Pppheh. "Into the chantry by. There, before him, And underneath that consecrated roof, Plight me the full assurance of your faith; that my most jealous and too doubtful soul May live at peace. He shall conceal it Whiles you are willing it shall come to note, what time we will our celebration keep According to my birth. What do you say?" Well now, Hector still tried not to grin. Lyn asking him to marry her. Hmm... that had possibilities.

"I 'll follow this good man, and go with you; and, having sworn truth, ever will be true," he said, bowing to her to hide his smile. Some of the grade 6's must have caught it, however, because some of them were giggling and pointing.

"Then lead the way, good father," Lyn said to Ninian, "And heavens so shine that they may fairly note this act of mine!" Hector took Lyn's arm and they walked off, following Ninian backstage.

"Good job Ninian!" Eliwood greeted them enthusiastically backstage, kissing Ninian. Hector rolled his eyes. Ninian hadn't even SAID anything – she'd just stood there. However, whatever Eliwood wanted. He wasn't going to say anything. "Oh – and to you too, guys." Well, at least Eliwood remember he had friends in this world. Although maybe not for much longer.

The rest of the play passed more or less smoothly. The final scene –the ONLY scene in Act 5 – was VERY long, to annoying to most people. They wanted shorter scenes, so they could pack up and go home. The only major hitch in Act 5 was the school bell ringing to let everyone out, then it was back to the play. A couple of times the lighting flickered brighter or dimmed, but it was kept to a minimum, so no one really noticed it. Too much, anyway. Hector moved aside as Ms. Spencer began almost frothing at the mouth at the antics of the lighting people – whatever the heck they were doing. Hector didn't really want to find out. He had his hunches, but didn't really want to find out.

After Act 5 finished, an all the little kids were sent on their way, they got down to business again. It took all of them two hours to go over various rough spots – Florina's in particular – but eventually it was done, and everyone could go home.

It was getting dark when Hector left the school building. With the setting sun, long shadows and nearly empty parking lot, the school grounds looked like something of a wild western town, where a bunch of toughs were getting ready for a showdown. He grinned to himself. That wasn't likely to happen, but it was nice to imagine it might.

He watched the various couples go by, friends and "close" friends heading to their cars or carpooling. Raven, Lucius, Heath and Priscilla were first. There was some argument over something until Guy came running out, asking to get a ride. Hector snickered as he watched them go – Raven driving with Lucius in the front seat being girly, Heath, Guy, and Priscilla in the back seat, wedged fairly tightly together.

Next to go were Karla and her brother Karel, and were met with an impromptu drag race out of the parking lot with Legault (the one driving), Isadora, Matthew and his girl Leila. It was a close race – by close, it meant Legault almost flipped the car – but it looked to Hector that Karla and her brother won, simply from their head start.

Wil, Rath, Rebecca and Lowen all piled into one car, none of them looking happy that it was Lowen driving. Hector laughed to see Rath clinging to his seat, Wil wild-eyed and Rebecca covering her own eyes as Lowen swerved out of the lot.

Eliwood and Ninian waved goodbye as they left, not stopping to chat. Apparently in a hurry to get somewhere, Hector reasoned. Lyn came out behind him, but they waited to one side to see everyone else leave.

They were joined by Kent and Farina for a while, and they all laughed – with the exception of Kent – as Serra walked by dragging Erk along. He didn't look very happy, but followed her anyway. The group was interrupted by Dart peeling into the parking lot. Hector noticed that there seemed to be a bit of an argument as the three of them left school grounds.

"Well, I think that's almost everyone," Hector noted. "Shall we go?"

"Sure. I should get home soon anyway. My grandfather gets nervous when I'm not home on time," Lyn smiled and they started off for his car.

"Wait!" an uncharacteristically loud voice yelled at them. They both turned to see a bright red Florina running towards them. "Um, um," she looked nervous – not that that was anything new. "D-do, um, do you t-t-think you co-could give me a d-drive?" she stammered. "Um, my sister's are..." she trailed off.

"Sure Florina!" Lyn said cheerfully, giving Hector a death glare. "We'd be happy to take you home. RIGHT?"

"Sure, I don't mind," Hector shrugged. "Let's go."

"Th-thank you!" Florina said, casting a nervous glance over her shoulder. It wasn't long before the three of them left the parking lot behind.

"Honestly, Sain! Hands off!" Fiora kept her nose in the air as she and Sain left the school.

"But fair beauty – " Sain tried.

"I SAID HANDS OFF!" She yelled.

"Really, Sain, you should keep your hands to yourself," Ms. Spencer chided as she came out behind them and headed for her car. "Have a nice night you too, and play nice. Don't forget to be here at 11 tomorrow!"

"Yes Ms. Spencer," Fiora sighed, then slapped Sain. "I SAID HANDS OFF!" The two of them headed for the car, arguing all the way. At last their car pulled out, leaving the parking lot deserted except for the janitor's car, parked at the far end of the lot. Specks of light drifted through the steel doors' windows, casting long rectangles of light that merged with the now almost set sun. The loud noise of the door being pulled open and then slamming shut seemed very loud in the empty air, as if it were out of place.

"You took a long time."

"I know... I'm sorry. It's just that I can't reach the back of my costume, and everyone was gone when I got there, so there was no one to help me..."

Jaffar put one arm around Nino's shoulders. "I wasn't blaming you."

She huggled into him. "Thanks."

The janitor smiled as he paused in cleaning the window, watching to the odd-matched pair slowly make their way out of the lot, and make the journey home.

* * *

And so, another "Jaffar and Nino Moment" for whoever wanted it. I guess Leila was in the story again, even if she wasn't supposed to be. :) Hopefully this chapter will seem a little less rushed than the last one. Now! Review Responses! 

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elven-girl10: Well, I'm glad you liked Leila's appearance. She seems very popular. I'd never really realized that. As for Ephidel, I'm working on it... but still. I really want to hook him up with someone, and I don't have any ideas, except for Limstella... who I've never looked on to be his sister. As for SONIA and SERRA? ::twitch:: can't say I've ever thought of THEM as pairings... ::twitch::

Oooh! YAY! **PLUSHIES**!! wheeeeeeeeeeee! ::runs around in circles::

xZero84x: o.O o.O wow. That was... long. And... random. ::Stares:: well, it was entertaining, at least! : ) heh heh heh "only TEA!"

flamefirefox: hahahah! Don't like Priscilla/Heath, huh? Well, regardless of who I put, I'd DEFINATELY not done with Legault. He'll be back. Juuuuust you wait! And Leila too. I'm gonna try and do something with her... so long as she doesn't get hit by a bus or something in the next four chapters.

Firelien: No, it doesn't seem out of place for them, doesn't it? Weird. Wish I could skip school like that. Oops, I forgot to give Matthew a detention... ah well, doesn't matter, we all love him too much to put him in dentention. Besides, he'd just escape. It began on a Thursday, I think, 'cause this chapter's Friday. I hate labs, and I hate lab REPORTS. That's why I'm an english student. :)

Bloody Mary: My there's a lot of fanatics out there, huh? I can't say I've ever seen so many people saying how much they like this couple, or DON'T like that couple... :) Ah, fanatics. What would we do without them? I hope you won't mind TOO much if I just stick little bits of Hector/Lyn & Nino/Jaffar in every so often. You wouldn't, right? Right. There will be more of them. I promise.

WildfireDreams: Another Leila fan. Wow. personally, I was happy when she died - that left Matthew open for me :P j/k. I was sad. I swear!

Erk: they why are you smiling?

Hitnwey: ... death affects me that way.

Erk: I think you were just happy Leila died.

Hitnwey: BE QUIET! ... eh-heh . ;;

For Nino and Jaffar, my friends and I have determined they're between 4 and 10 years apart. Since Jaffar doesn't have a fixed age... we think he's anywhere from 18-24. That's only a six-year range, not too bad. ::sweatdrop::

And you have siblings with the same name as the archer pair? oO wow... do they play FE too? That would be funny. I remember playing Pokémon and being totally surprised when one of the Leaders had the same name as me :)

More Leila and Matthew on the way. Just gimmie... three days, or so. Maybe longer, depending on schoolwork. Of course, we're coming up to the weekend, so I should be able to update soon.

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Now I have to go study for a test. Enjoy the newest chapter, and be on the watch for more LxM!


	19. Author's Note

Look at all the reviews! We broke 100! Whee! Thanks everyone!

**::pops confetti:: **Wheeee!!

**::Calms down::**

Anyway, since Leila x Matthew seems to have such a big following, and everyone wants to give their advice ANYWAY...

I thought everyone might want to help write this next (and last) intermission.

So! Everyone who supports Leila x Matthew (and even those who don't) should leave a review/e-mail/whatever, telling me what they would like to see in the last intermission. It would really make me happy to be able to use everyone's ideas and make you guys a part of this last chapter.

So leave me your ideas (or don't. It's your choice,) and I'll try to write the best chapter ever!

Thanks again to EVERYONE who's read (and reviewed) this fic!

Oh - and don't forget to buy your show tickets! So far... only one person's bought 'em! Get them before they're gone!! Oo


	20. Intermission 3: Night at the Fair!

Well, look at that. I finally updated! That's my longest vacation in a while. :D Here's the Leila x Matthew (and Legault x Isadora) chapter. This might be a little random, and I might still be suffering a little from writers block, but hopefully it'll be ok! :)

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"So where exactly did you two want me to drop you off?" Legault asked as they sped along.

"The fair!" Leila repeated. "God, Legault, is your hearing going? You're turning into an old man!" Matthew laughed.

"Humph," Legault grumbled, running his hand through his almost white hair. "Just because my hair is light..."

"It's almost WHITE, Legault!"

"It's purple!" Isadora said, coming to his defense.

"He dyes it," Matthew said with a grin. "Every morning, like that girl in Final Fantasy. It's actually white, like Marcus'. Remember him?"

"Yes," Leila said, rolling her eyes. "He was annoying. He couldn't do anything, and he wouldn't let anyone else do anything." Isadora didn't say anything.

"Is he still alive?" Legault asked, turning out of town.

"Last time I checked," Leila said making a face.

"I could change that, if you'd like," Matthew joked.

"Don't you dare!" Isadora glared at him.

"Whoa! You like him Isadora?" Leila asked.

"How about respect him, then?" Legault asked, trying to help her.

"Fine. I respect him. He IS stronger than anyone else."

"And a hog," Leila said, rolling her eyes. Isadora glared.

"So, how long 'til we get there?" Matthew asked, sensing the tension between the girls.

"With these two in the car?" Legault grinned. "Not soon enough."

After what seemed like a long time, the car pulled up to the Exhibition Fair.

"I never understand why they put all the way out here, in the middle of nowhere," Leila grumbled as she climbed out of the car and stretched.

Matthew pointed to a gas station. "It's because that gas station is part of the fair, and after driving all the way out here, you gotta but gas at inflated prices before you're able to get back into town."

"You're probably right," Legault admitted as he eyed the fuel gage. "It wouldn't make any sense to go back into town without going on some rides – feel up to it, Isadora?"

Isadora eyed the park. "Well..." she sighed. "Sure, why not? So long as we're out of here at a decent hour?"

"Don't worry Isadora!" Leila smiled. "They close at midnight!" Isadora looked almost stricken.

They bought their all-inclusive tickets and stood for a moment by the booth. The fair grounds weren't quiet – there was music from all sides as the different rides moved, and there were still bands of high school and college students wandering around, or kissing on the top of the Ferris wheel. Leila seemed to be eyeing that.

"So, should we split up, or stick together?" Legault asked.

"I think splitting up should be good," Matthew shrugged. "We could meet back here at...? What time?"

"Hm. 11, I think. Or 11:30. Not too late, I've got someone to drive to a play tomorrow morning at a wonderful hour of 7 in the morning."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. We'll see you in a while!" Matthew waved as Leila dragged him off towards the gigantic spinning wheel. Legault sighed, then the two of them headed for the brightly lit roller coaster of doom.

Matthew sat on the railing as the two of them waited for the line in front of them to thin. It was kind of stupid, Matthew thought, since every other ride was free. But Leila wanted to go on this one, and although he wanted to go on some of the faster rides, the fringe benefits of this one appealed to him. It took forever – forever being fifteen minutes – before the iron railing, which seemed pretty skinny and not at all safe to Matthew slammed shut and they were finally on a ride. It wasn't going very fast, and Matthew found himself very bored before they were even halfway up their first pass.

"Oh, lighten up Matthew, and see if you can help me spot Legault and Isadora!" Leila said, scanning the sparse crowd.

Matthew sighed and looked longingly towards the roller coasters. "They're over there, I think. In line for the Mine Buster."

"Mine buster?" Leila asked, looking over.

"A wooden roller coaster. Creepy as hell, because you think it's going to collapse on you when you get on it."

"Cool! Let's go on that next," Leila grinned as they reached the top.

"Yeah, let's," Matthew said, resting his head on his hands, which he had folded on the iron bar. It wasn't very comfortable, but he was bored. They were starting to go down the back – or whatever terminology was used for the Ferris wheel – when Leila leaned over and kissed him. Matthew gave her a sideways glance and soon the two of them were in stitches laughing. Even he wasn't sure why it was funny, but hell, who the hell cared?

By the time they were on their third pass, they were getting calls from the people in line to "get a room", but Matthew didn't think they really meant it, from the laughter of the people watching. So they ignored them. They were forced apart by several people when their turn can to an end, and they walked off with several people trying not to laugh as they passed. One guy made an inappropriate comment to Leila, and found himself eating dirt after Matthew clobbered him.

"So. Where was it we were going to go?" Matthew asked, brushing his hands off, leaving the guy behind in the bushes.

"I think it was one of the roller coasters." Leila said, pointing to the Mine Buster.

"Oh right!" Matthew grinned. "C'mon, let's go."

"Whoa!" Leila yelled as her arm was almost jerked out of the socket by Matthew.

They were both out of breath when they got there, but it was a lot faster to get on than it had been for the wheel, and they sat in the low seats of the coaster gasping for air. There was a sudden jerk as the coaster started moving forward, and the train started up the steep initial hill.

"I – hate – this – part!" Leila said as they were jerked into position and started the long journey up the rise.

"Why? What's the worst that can happen?" Matthew asked. His question was rewarded by the roller coaster coming to an abrupt halt. There were muttering and a mother with two children started going into hysterics after about .3 seconds. Matthew sighed. "Never mind."

Leila laughed a little and snuggled under his arm. "Well, at least we're not going backwards. That's what I hate," she paused and looked at the woman in front of them. "That, and hysterical mothers who can't shut up."

"I hear ya babe," Matthew said, kissing her. They didn't notice the people behind them snickering, or pay any attention when the mother and her children were led off by a worker. They broke apart only when, with a jerk, the train started moving again.

"Dammit," Leila muttered. "How long was that thing stuck for?"

"Hmm..." Matthew looked at his watch. "Apparently, 10 minutes."

"Really? It didn't seem that lOOONG!!" Leila's voice went up as the train suddenly dropped and the ride began.

Leila's body slammed into Matthew's as they went around a corner, and Matthew ended up getting a mouthful – or several – of Leila's hair. They kept their hands in the air when they went down long hills, screaming as loudly as they could with the people behind and in front of them. It was almost disappointing when the coaster jerked them to a stop. Matthew rose to get out but found he could. "Hey, what the - ?"

"For the inconvenience of the riders," a loud, metallic voice came through the speakers, "on the breakdown of the last ride, we will be sending you through again, courtesy of the Fair."

"Oh good," Leila said with a bright smile. "Another chance to get stuck."

They didn't get stuck this time, but Matthew's sides hurt a little bit after Leila get thrown into him three more times. Normally he would have loved it, but there wasn't a lot he could do on a roller coaster.

"So, where do we go now?" Leila asked brightly when they – finally – got off.

"How about the games?" Matthew suggested. "I like conning the conners out of prizes."

"Sure. Race ya!" Leila said sprinting away.

"Huh? What? Hey! Leila!" Matthew yelled, running after her. He finally caught up to her outside the gaming area, where she was clutching a table, laughing. He grumbled a bit, then started to explore for a good game.

"Hey Matthew – bet I can beat you on this one!" Leila said, pointing to a shooting gallery.

"Really? What are you betting?"

"The usual."

"Fine then," Matthew said, hading the expectant merchant across the counter the money. "Let's go!"

The first time went to Matthew, the second time to Leila, and the last time went to Leila too, because Leila decided to play dirty and knocked his legs out from under him. He glared up at her – jokingly, of course – from where he was sprawled on the ground.

"This means WAR, Leila!"

The next game they picked was a little booth where you had to cover a circle with a whole bunch of little ones. Matthew and Leila walked away smiling while the man tried to figure out where the extra disc had come from – and where it had gone. After that they visited the arcade, located inside a long, dark tent. Leila and Matthew competed to rack up as many points as possible, and then spent about 45 minutes trying to pick the stupidest gift they could with all their points. The people behind the desk looked a little nervous when they approached, since the two of them were carrying almost a box load between the two of them. A very large box.

They ran into Legault and Isadora once, and the four of them – although Matthew wasn't sure that Isadora really knew what was going on – scammed the guy behind the counter for some 100 dollars each. Isadora couldn't believe how much money they'd won gambling on the wheel. Matthew and Leila decided – for Legault's sake, of course – not to mention how they'd fixed the wheel. Legault let Matthew and Leila dump their stuff off in the car, and then the four of them headed for the fun houses.

"Hahahah! Matthew!" Leila gasped for air. "You look hilarious!" Matthew glared at her in the mirror as the wavy lines of the plastic glass skewered his image.

"Ha, ha, ha, veeeeery funny Leila." He said dryly.

Next to them, Isadora was killing herself laughing, as Legault flexed in front of a mirror that made him look like a fat pig. Leila then took her turn and posed in front of a mirror that cut her image in half, leaving only her legs and head.

"Hey, Legault," Matthew called. "Do you want to go in the maze next?"

"The maze? What do you think, Isa?" Legault asked Isadora.

"Why not?" She shrugged. "So long as Matthew and Leila promise to finish."

"What do you mean?" Leila asked.

"I notice the two of you seem to forget what you're doing when you start making out. And from the people I've heard, that's all you two have been doing all night." Matthew and Legault laughed as Leila turned a little red.

The group made their way towards the maze, then sat through a 15-minute film telling them what to do. Afterwards they were handed maps and a little card.

"Didn't you two LISTEN?" Isadora demanded when Leila asked her what the card was for. Leila and Matthew shook their heads. "Fine. Listen. You take the cards and go into the maze. The maze is divided into parts, and in each part there are four devices that you can swipe the card through. These slots record where you are, and how fast you're going. The point is to get as many swipes on the card as quickly as you can."

"Oh," Leila said with a shrug. "Is that all?"

"Yes."

"Well then, let's go!" Leila and Matthew took off, leaving a laughing Legault and fuming Isadora behind.

The first part of the maze was simply row on row of dividers. Leila and Matthew teamed up rolling under the dividers to swipe their cards and run. The second arena was pirate-themed, with people above with water guns firing on them as they ran. When they got to the end, Matthew took a few seconds to bribe one of the men to shoot Isadora as often as he could, then they ran on to the "garden" area. This one took a little longer, since it was hard to know what was on the other side of the hedges they jumped over. They ended up missing a card swipe on this run, and had to double back.

"I wonder where Isadora and Legault are?" Leila said as they ran.

"No idea. Hopefully not close." Leila laughed.

"Race you through the next area!" Leila challenged him.

"You're on!" Matthew grinned, and they sped into the – very appropriately named – race car area. Matthew zipped through the area, and just beat Leila to the gate. "Gotcha!"

"Jerk!" Leila said, swatting his arm.

"C'mon, one more to go, right?"

"I sure hope so, because I can't keep running too much longer!"

The last area was easy, because it was just the reverse of the first one, which they had doubled back on. They finally reached the glass door that would lead them out and almost fell through it, laughing and panting, handing their cards over. 5 minutes later Legault and Isadora came through, both of them panting as well.

"Well, well. Nice to see you guys again," Matthew greeted them with a grin.

"Why, Isadora, you look kind of wet!" Leila noticed, shooting Matthew a grin.

"Yeah, I know," Isadora said, shaking herself a bit. "The guys in the pirate area wouldn't stop shooting at me."

"That's horrible!" Matthew said, feigning innocence.

"They should be fired," Leila agreed, trying not to laugh.

"We'll deal with that later," Legault said, checking his watch. "Ohps, it's 10:58. Time to go, guys. Let's go."

Leila and Matthew grumbled, but the four of them headed for the car. It took a bit of squabbling, but everyone finally got in, and the car peeled out with a squeal, spraying the gravel of the parking lot behind it. A pair of dark eyes watched them go, then turned and started walking towards the parking lot, hands dug deep it his pockets.

* * *

::gasp:: stalker! Duh nuh duh nuh DUUH! heh, just kidding. Try and guess who it is, **if you can**!! Bwahahahahah!

Anyway, time for tons of _**Review Responces!**_

Bloody Mary: ::gobbles cookies:: No, I don't think I'd want to be Sain's "victim" either. Not that she has any choice though. Bwahah!

WildfireDreams: Yes, Dart was in this a long time ago. He was with Farina during one of the movie sceens, arguing the whole time. :) You should get your sister to play.

Nikoli Delphinki : They are. Very cute :)

xZero84x: I'm not even going to ask, lol. Hey! Maybe I should put THIS up as my next chapter. I'd get more reviews than ever!

elven-girl10: ::grabs money and runs:: I like all pairings. Even Marcus x Merlinius ones. I wonder if there are any fics on them.. not that I'd read them, but hey...

Firelien: Someone actually LIKES that thing? Oo I didn't know that. Ok, I'll put it back in :) ::sniff:: someone likes the way I do things... ::sniff:: yay!

flamefirefox : I'll try to clarify them all for you by the end.

Wandering Cat: I won't ask about the Teletubbies dream. Nope. And yes, there is an ass-guy, but I was planning on making him Sain. Just for fun. And because Sain is an ass.

Winteress: Yes Nino, you are special. Now go away, I have fics to write :)

flamefirefox: Price of a Ticket: one review. You're in! :) And yes, there will be more Leila.

elven-girl10: Was there enough romance for you? I got writers block, soo....

Firelien: A cast party... hmm... I'll have to think about that. That's actually a good idea. I think I'll use that! :D

katelynn: :D Here's one thing I can tell you: Leila doesn't die. Not in this fic, anyway.I thought about it, but... she's just too good for my ratings.

The Winged Wolf: You can come in Wolfie form, I'm used to animals. My sister's dating one :P I'm so glad I'm getting new fans who like my story!

Winteress: Just review for a ticket. Did you spot the Jaffar moment? Bwahah!

xZero84x: That would be a good idea... heh hehe hehe... hang on to your valuables Zero84... :D

Wandering Cat: Thanks!

what's Thracia 776?

xZero84x: Not to late, you can still buy one. Buy one! Quickly!

Bloody Mary: One ticket coming up!

WildfireDreams: In the fic? Um... I HAD a reason, but I can't remember . If I do, I'll tell you. And that's ok, no one really gave me ideas. Until about an hour ago, anyway. :D


	21. Finale, Part 1: So begins the End

::maniacle laughter:: I'm BACK!!!

Erk: ::coughs through layers of dust:: so are we!

Nino: why were we in hiding again?

Erk: Because SHE'S insane

Hitnwey: I am not!

Erk: You are.

Hitnwey: anyway. So begins the FINALE! ::lightning, thunder:: We're almost through. Thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed! If you bought a ticket (hint, hint) there's a treat (or maybe not) for you near the end. So let us begin -

THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END!!! ::crack, DOOOM!::

* * *

And now, just to be wildly awkward, I am going to insert my Disclaimer here.

**Disclaimer thingy:** don't own it. I can pretend, but other than that...

* * *

The morning began in chaos. 

Ms. Spencer had a spazz attack when over half the cast was an hour late – or more – for morning rehearsal. She almost went into cardiac arrest when Florina and Kent forgot their lines, Lowen walked off the stage for the 16th time, and Lucius almost killed Nino when a light came loose (they weren't sure how it was Lucius' fault, but Jaffar needed a scapegoat). Jaffar then killed Lucius, followed by Raven "The King's" attempt to kill Jaffar, and all hell broke out. Ms. Spencer's screams could be heard echoing around the school in the distant years to come.

(A/N - Lucius is not really dead. As becomes apparent.)

Finally – _FINALLY_, Hector thought – the front doors opened and the first act started at 11 in the morning, the audience comprised of mostly distant relatives, caffeine addicts, and people with no lives – namely Legault, who stayed for all three performances... mostly to get a good laugh.

Hector let his head fall back and groaned. Florina was stammering so badly, no one could understand her – even if she DID remember her line – which she didn't. This was the fifteenth forgotten line so far! What was going on?

Ms. Spencer, who was watching from the sides, trying to help people who forgot their lines, marched abruptly past Hector. He watched her go, puzzled, but understood as he heard her smashing her books against the wall. Apparently there was a lot of stress going around.

He stood at the edge of the curtain, watching the scene. It was not a pretty sight. He shook his head and decided to retreat for the time being. Hiding with the lighting people sounded like a good idea. Not even Lucius – or even Lucius and Farina arguing – could be more nerve-destroying than watching his class act like morons.

"Hey, guys, what's –" Hector froze, question half out of his mouth, and stared. Farina was nowhere to be seen, but Hector could understand that. Watching Raven and Lucius making out could be pretty distracting after a while. He seemed to have interrupted them, however, because they – by they he meant Raven – gave him pretty cold looks when they realized someone was watching.

"What?" Raven growled at him, looking very threatening. Hector wasn't scared of Raven – not really – but sticking around at that point didn't seem like a very good idea.

"Oh... nothing. See ya," he said, ducking out of the lighting room as fast as he could. "Ok... that... was creepy..." his eye twitched. "And knowing my luck it'll be stuck in my head all day..."

"What will be?" Matthew asked, popping up beside Hector.

"The picture of Lucius and Raven making out."

"Raven and Luicus were making out?" Matthew's eyes suddenly turned into dollar signs.

"Yeah, back there in the lighting room –"

"Well, yeah, that's cool, gottagobye!"

Hector stared after his friend as Matthew ran out like he was chased by the devil.

"What the hell...?"

The rest of the morning play passed with only minimal accidents. No more of the lights fell down, but they did go out a couple of times. Ms. Spencer went back once to talk with the lighting people, then came back out without saying a word. Hector figured Lucius and Raven hadn't stopped – not for long, anyway – and were probably further along than he wanted to see. He stood in the backstage, somewhere between the stage and the lighting room, wishing he were somewhere were he couldn't see people making out of screwing up. But, since Eliwood and Ninian seemed to insist on trading spit every time they were both offstage, it was pretty much impossible.

When the morning play finally –_**FINALLY**_!!! – finished, they were all treated to Ms. Spencer's screaming lecture. The only exceptions were Nino and Jaffar – Nino because she was Jaffar's girlfriend, and Jaffar because several people suspected he might go on a killing spree if Ms. Spencer started screaming at him and/or Nino – and it was long and painful. Florina looked like a beet red tomato, and several times burst into tears, even though she'd had only one line. When Ms. Spencer finally finished, they got to break for lunch, before staring the second play at 2 in the afternoon – the matinee act.

The second play was slightly better than the morning one. Lowen only fell off the stage once – Karla afterwards kept her hand on his neck, so it was hard for him to wander off, but he still managed to walk into the wall on his way offstage – and Florina almost fainted when it was her turn to speak. Serra, halfway through the play, decided to start chasing Erk, and several odd noises came from backstage. Several times Hector was run over as Erk ran into him trying to get away from Serra. Hector privately suspected that Erk didn't really mind Serra, he was only doing it for habit, which, in a way, made it even more annoying.

Near the end of the play, the lights started dimming and brightening at odd intervals. Ms. Spencer had separated Raven and Lucius after the morning fiasco, and stalked towards the lighting room with murder on her face. She disappeared briefly, then walked out again throwing her hands in the air. Hector, curious, looked into the room after Ms. Spencer left, and was surprised – if not shocked – to find Kent and Farina in a dark corner, filling up the void Lucius and Raven had left when Ms. Spencer threw them out. Now Hector knew what had happened to Farina during the first play. There was also a minor crisis when Jaffar suddenly cracked in the middle of the jail scene, and it took Hector, Matthew and Nino to calm him down while Legault ran for his life, much to the amusement of Matthew, who almost lost his hold on Jaffar.

It was with much relief that the second play ended. It was about 4 in the afternoon, and the last play of the day didn't start until 6. A defeated Ms. Spencer told them to do whatever they wanted, so long as they were back half and hour before 6.

"Are we allowed to change?" Hector asked.

"Sure, whatever," Ms. Spencer said, not really noticing the question. This announcement was followed by a mad rush to the bathrooms where people struggled to get out of their costumes.

"Oh, man, it feels so good to be out of that monkey outfit!" Hector grinned, flexing his arms.

"You said it," Eliwood agreed, his arm around Ninian.

"Is there any point of going anywhere?" Lyn asked.

"Let's get out of the school, at least," Hector said making a face. "I don't think I could stand another two hours in there."

The parking lot outside the school looked lonely with only a few student cars parked here and there. Legault's car was closest to the door, and was being used as a hang-out point by Legault, Isadora, Matthew and Leila.

"Who's the girl?" Ninian asked as they walked by.

"Leila," Hector answered, waving to the person in question. She smiled and waved back before returning to whatever conversation she and Matthew had been having.

"Who's she?" Lyn asked, eyeing him.

"As far as I know, she's Matthew's girlfriend. She goes to the high school across town."

"How'd you met her?" Eliwood asked.

"We used to live in the same neighbourhood when were kids?" Hector said evasively. Lyn glared at him, but didn't say anything.

* * *

Legault's POV

* * *

The first two versions of the play had almost sent him to the hospital. First, because he laughed at Jaffar, and second because he couldn't breath. He was met at his car by Isadora and Matthew, and Leila came by not to much later.

"How were they, Legault?" Leila asked when she joined him. Isadora looked a little embarrassed, and both Legault and Matthew started laughing. "Eh... that bad?" she asked. Isadora nodded her head.

"It was an unmitigated disaster," Isadora said, shaking her head.

"But worthwhile!" Matthew said with a wide grin.

"What happened, Matthew?" Leila asked.

"Well –" Matthew began.

"Leila!" Hector called to her as his group made their way across the parking lot. Leila waved back to him with a grin before turning back to Matthew.

"You were saying?" She asked, the picture of innocence.

Matthew didn't say anything, but triumphantly pulled several pictures out of his pocket.

"What's this?" Legault asked as the three helped themselves to various pictures.

"Oh, my, GAWD!" Leila almost screamed, her face breaking into a huge grin. "Where the hell did you GET these?" Isadora looked shocked, and Legault had his mysterious smile on.

"Hector," Matthew grinned. "He walked in on them. Lucius and Raven, anyway. I got Kent and Farina first, though, when I saw them running to get the camera. I think Hector walked in on them, too, during the second play."

"Would that have been when the light's started going screwy the fourteenth time?" Legault asked calmly.

"Probably," Matthew said offhandedly. Leila shook her head.

"How did you GET these? They're great!" Leila asked, shuffling through the pictures.

"Well, Raven almost killed me after the first three, so I had to be a little more careful, but Kent and Farina didn't seem to notice. Well... I'd thought they didn't notice, but Farina did, because she came up to me later and told me that I owed her ten dollars per picture. She can keep dreaming."

"Yeah, when do YOU ever pay ANYTHING?" Leila asked, punching Matthew in the arm.

"Never, unless it comes to you," Matthew said innocently.

"And not even when it comes to me," Leila said with a smile, then checked out her watch. "What time is the next showing?"

"Six."

"So we've got an hour and a half. What should we do?"

They stood around for a moment before Matthew's face split into a grin.

"Stay right here," he said.

"What?" Leila demanded, looking at him.

"Stay right, here," Matthew said, pointing to the ground. "I hope you brought a camcorder, Legault, because the last showing is going to be the best thing you ever saw!"

The three stared after the high-wired thief as he bolted off in the direction of the gym.

"I wonder what he's doing?" Isadora worried. "I hope it's not illegal..."

"Ah, don't worry about Matthew," Legault said, getting into his car. "You two want to go for a drive? I need to go get my camera, like Matthew said. Want to come?" Legault asked, looking at the two. The girls looked at each other, shrugged, then got into the car.

"You'd better make sure we're back in time, Legault!" Leila warned him as she slammed the door and they sped off.

* * *

Ms. Spencer's -WOW! a Teacher's - POV

* * *

The world was ending.

She was so totally, utterly, screwed beyond belief. The first two attempts at the play were total disasters. Lowen kept falling off the stage, Florina kept fainting, Sain kept winking at the girls in the audience. Why, oh WHY was life so cruel.

At around 5:45 people began to drift back, just behind most of the audience. Serra, Erk, Priscilla, Guy, Heath and Rebecca had hung around all break, lacking a ride anywhere and not willing to ride with Lowen, and were now in charge of the door. The trickle of people coming through the door had turned into a stream for a while, but now most of the people were in, waiting for the play to start. Ms. Spencer paced around the backstage, fuming. Where was her cast?

"Ms. Spencer?"

And what was with her lighting people? Lucius and Raven, ok, people had know about them for a while. But KENT and FARINA? Where had THAT come from? The images of the make-out scene's she had witnessed made her twitch with jealousy.

"MS. SPENCER!!!!!" Serra's loud voice cut across her thoughts and she jumped.

"What? WHAT?" she asked, looking around wildly for the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Instead she saw a dog, and screamed, her over-active imagination thinking it really WAS a horse. Serra and Rebecca stared at her as she recovered her composure. "Oh! Eh... eh-heh. Yes? What's wrong?"

"Well..." Rebecca looked at the animal, but didn't seem to know how to begin.

"This dog just kinda wandered in, and, like, wants to buy a ticket. Is she, like, allowed?" Serra asked, loudly as normal.

I think I'm getting a migraine, Ms. Spencer thought. "Oh course not. Just kick her out."

"I've got money!" The dog protested. "And I'm NOT a dog! I'm a WOLF!"

Ms. Spencer stared at the dog – Err, wolf. "Did it just talk?"

"Yes I did."

"Tell me it didn't just answer me.

"She/I did," the three said at the same time. Ms. Spencer stared at them, then blinked.

"Oh my god... ok, whatever, let her in," she said, waving her hand. "Where's my aspirin?" she wondered, begining to wander off.

"Uh... Ms. Spencer?" Priscilla asked.

"What?"

"Um... there's kinda... this girl who wants 64 tickets... and she kinda, um, like, has this army of ninjas, pheonixes, assassins, samurais, theives, swordmasters..."

"And a dragon or two!" Serra added.

"Yeah, and she, like, um... wants to know if there's room?"

Ms. Spencer stared at them.

"This is a nightmare..."

* * *

Leila's POV

* * *

They'd gotten back just as the doors opened. The tree of them had hung around with the door greeters for a while before parting with Isadora. She and Legault walked through the short hall to the gym and took the seats closest to the middle in the front. Things seemed quite boring for a while, until more and more people started coming in, all at once. Leila and Legault relaxed, watching all the people come in, sometimes laughing at the people they saw. They DIDN'T laugh, however, when the dog walked down the aisle and sat next to them. They both stared, and their mouths dropped open when the dog – who calmly informed them she was NOT a dog, but a wolf – turned into a human.

"Well THAT'S not something you see every day!" Legault said, and Leila nodded in mute agreement.

It was 10 past 6, and still nothing of note had happened. Sometimes the curtain would part and someone would stick they're nose out to look into the audience. Legault pointed out Nino, Florina, and Guy. Matthew stuck his head out too, waving at them with a cheery smile, before popping back behind the curtains. Bored, Leila got up and started wandering around the gymnasium, looking at the various people.

Two people were talking near the aisle as Leila walked by.

"I hope she robs the audience!" One girl was chattering away randomly, squeezing to familiar-looking plushies around the neck. Leila raised an eyebrow, noticing the plushies looked like Hector and Lyn. When the girl looked away, Leila leaned over and stole her wallet.

'xZero84x?'" Leila said, looking at the random pen scribbles on the wallet. "What kind of name is THAT?" Leila wondered before looking at the second girl. She was sitting, quite still, holding something small and white between her hands, muttering under her breath.

"I got a ticket, I got a ticket, I got a ticket..." Leila raised her eyebrows very high, stole the girls necklace, and walked away whistling.

Leila wandered around the gym a bit more, running into a few odd people – named, she believed, Flamefirefox and Firelein, who were sitting together arguing who was the best pairing. Winteress was sitting next to some poor bugger beating his ass in because he didn't believe two people (Matthew and Leila, or something) were the best couple ever. When she finally got back to her seat, she was smiling and whistling, her pockets full of the various things she'd stolen from the people in the audience. Next to a curious-looking Legault was wolf-boy and another person – Wandering Cat, or something. They were calmly discussing the best pairing ever, both deciding that Lyn was PART of the best pairing ever, but neither giving ground on who she should be paired with, Hector or Rath? Leila retook her seat, wondering where the couples all these people seemed to be debating about came from.

There was a sudden commotion from backstage, and the room went dark.

"Well, it's about time!"

* * *

Hector's POV

* * *

"Where have you BEEN?" Ms. Spencer screeched at the renegades as they finally made their way backstage.

"Would you even begin to believe us if we told you the bus broke down?" Lyn asked wearily.

"Why the hell were you on the bus?"

"Because my car broke down," Eliwood admitted.

Ms. Spencer stood, looking at them, her eye twitching in a very disturbing manner.

"Fine. Whatever. Hurry up and get dressed, we're half an hour behind!"

"Yes'm," they all muttered, running to get dressed.

"Where were you?" Matthew caught Hector and Eliwood in the bathroom.

"Don't go there," Hector said with a dangerous look.

"Err... Yeah, ok. Oh, incidentally, this is what we're going to do for Act 5..." Matthew said, going into hasty conference with Hector and Eliwood. The two friends glanced at each other with wide grins on their faces.

"Well, it's about TIME!"

* * *

And there's the first chapter of the Finale! I know there's no script in it - ::pauses while everyone stares either a) throwing tomatoes at her or, b) throwing parties:: - but you've had so much script in the past chapters, and when I DO do script I tend to get lazy, I decided to do a... prelude to the finale. The script will come next chapter. Plus, there were some things I wanted to put in - like Lucius and Raven - that I couldn't do otherwise.

Hopefully the people in the audience didn't mind (too much) the larceny of Leila. Stuff may be returned... for a price.

For people who still wish, I will grant last-minute tickets. These will be avaliable ONLY in this chapter. :)

and now....

**Review Responses**:

Bloody Mary: I like Legault and Isadora. In the game, I like putting as many people as possible together - but only if they give me a double ending. I like putting Legault & Isadora, and Hearken & Vaida together. Plus, I think they're so cute.

Winteress: well, I did think about it. Thought about it, then realized how much trouble I would be in with 16,000,000 people coming after me with stones. There will be no death of Leila in this fic. Unless some of the people who had stuff stolen by her decide to hire out Jaffar as a head-hunter.

Lady Lyndis: when the chapter is long, my grammar dies very, very quickly. You will find tons if you go looking for them.

The Winged Wolf: Bwahaha, you're going to want to watch out for the next chapter.

Erk: be afraid. Be very, VERY afraid!

katelynn: I think you're one of the only people who's guessed at the person I wanted the "dark figure" to be... although it was really just a cheap way to end the chapter because of writer's block. I meant for it to be Jaffar, but really, anyone works.

flamefirefox: NERGAL? Oo errrr... sure. BTW, if you know - do Legault and Isadora get a joined ending? If they do, do you know what it is? Honestly, I'm such a sucker for spoilers, and I got stuck on the Ursula chapter... Jaffar keeps dying on me, Dammit!

elven-girl10: Well, it wasn't soon, but it is an update....

xZero84x: well, that was random. But then... you appear to be a random person. And, apparently, you didn't look after your money...

Hector: hahahahah!

::takes money (and Jaffar) and runs:: bwahahahah!

Xelion: This is a comedy. if you want dark stuff... I'll try and add some in the sequel. I'm glad you like it, I swear! :) And, there's going to be a "surprise ending"... if you keep reading... fufufufufu...

Wandering Cat: Is the game cool? There's no where to get forgien games where I live - I like in the backwoods of Canada. Well, actually, it's not QUITE that bad, but it feels like it sometimes.

And someone strict for the donkey WOULD be funny. Well, I have to do a little bit of planning, and I AM taking nominations... for parts as well as pairings... (HINT! HINT!)

WildfireDreams: here's more! :)


	22. Finale: Classical Twitsts

Whitney: I'm back! I'm back! I live!!

Heath: FINALLY!

Whitney: I wanted to put a new spin on this one, since it's almost ALL play!

Erk: joyness.

Whitney: I was GOING to do ALL the audience participation in the last chapter, but that didn't really happen. So. Yeah. I added some more. :P I hope everyone likes it.

Nino: Bloody Mary, make sure you read review responces!

Karla: BTW, to anyone playing FE: Does anyone know if LegaultxIsadora gets a special ending? She (points to Whitney) would love to know for sure

* * *

REVIEW RESPONCES!

K-Girl: Yes, there is time to buy a ticket. Feel lucky, you got the last one! Er, two. Er, whatever

Wandering Cat: Yes, as a matter of fact, I wonder about that all the time. Not that I can do anything about it... even Nino wears short skirts! Whoever drew for this game must have been male :)

Xelion: the play started a long time ago :P

Nikoli: Why do you want two tickets? Who's the second one for?

katelynn: yes, Serra is very good for mindless chatter... as Erk knows very well....

Theoneknownasme: TOO MANY PEOPLE! GAAH!

K-Girl: haven't I seen you already?

flamefirefox: well, after what I did/am going to do, I sure HOPE the two of them have a special ending... and even if they can't, they will in my mind!

TrisRika: No money, no entry!

Pant Burner: You weren't the only one. I don't think ANYONE noticed the "BUY TICKETS NOW!" Sign, since they're all in THIS chapter.

Regulus: Now's a good time to find out what Matt's up too...

Fury: Do you have a key?

WildfireDreams: Well, since you've reviewed so faithfully... and even if you haven't...

The Winged Wolf: For a good reason my friend, for a good reason.

Bloody Mary: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You WERE in there, but when I went back to edit something, I accidentally cut out you're name! TT tell you what, who are/is your fave character(s)? (this offer avaliable only until final chapter is published)

Firelien: Wow, I'm having a great time with spelling and remembering people's names. Not. Sorry :P As for Farina and Dart... I'm not sure. I just wanted to have a Kent scene that was totally OOC. If you want, I can put Farina and Dart back together again.

Winteress: You want to bring a PONY into the same room as a WOLF? Oo

elven-girl10: NO ENTRY WITHOUT TICKET! Oh, fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine...

MiraiEvo: when you weren't watching. Looks like you've got a lot of reading to do :)

xZero84x: God-moder! Aaaah! Flee!

* * *

Disclaimer: blah blah blah. Don't know it.

Now, onto the play!

* * *

Hector yawned from his place backstage. Doing so many plays in one day was a drain on his energy and time, and he was thankful he would never, EVER have to do this again.

Matthew and Kent were onstage at the moment, arguing about something – Hector couldn't really remember what. Not that it mattered. Something about a letter… oh, right, the letter "Malvolio" wrote. Hector grinned viciously. This was going to be SO much fun. He cast a sideways glance at Ms. Spencer, who looked on the verge of a breakdown. Well, it WOULD be fun if she didn't catch wind of it. And if she didn't have a breakdown. She looked like the kind of person who would react that way. Oh well, Hector thought, turning away. They had healers around, right?

Nino, Heath, and Wil rushed past Hector as their cue was called. Hector watched them from Lyn's normal hiding space. They were a good group, he thought. Too bad Nino was going to miss out… oh well. Someone must be taping this, he thought. They always show tapes at cast parties.

Cast parties?

Hector grinned viciously at the idea. Now who was the best person? He thought as he wandered off to look.

* * *

Lloyd POV

* * *

Lloyd sat in his chair, stone bored. Idly he drummed a chew-up pencil against the makeshift "ticket counter" that had been set up just for tonight. The play had already started, and no one else was coming, and Linus was asleep in his chair, and his snoring was really loud and annoying, and Lloyd wanted to get out of here ASAP.

A loud banging interrupted his thoughts.

"LET US IN!" Fury yelled. "LET US IN!"

"Huh?" Linus asked, sitting up his chair, still half asleep. "Wassat?"

Lloyd rolled his eyes, since the door was OPEN. Then all of a sudden the door gave way, exposing 3 billion people who had forgotten that tonight was play night. Lloyd's eyes bulged.

"Eeek," Linus squeaked, eyes wide as the mob pressed in against them, all trying to buy tickets. Lloyd grabbed Linus' jacket as he tried to run.

"Sit down and HELP me!" He hissed. Linus didn't look very happy about it, but did as he was told.

Fury was in the process of buying his ticket when a smallish pixie-like thing with very long, pointed ears started to sneak by. "I already have a ticket!" She chirped and started to make her way down the hall before Lloyd grabbed her by the scruff of her shirt and dragged her back.

"Let's see it then," He demanded.

"Um…"

"Thought so," Lloyd said, crossing his arms. "Pay up!"

"Why?" Elven-girl10 cried. "No one else did!"

"Huh?" Lloyd asked, turning around. The hallway was empty except for him and Elven-girl10 as Fury ran past him. "LINUS!" He yelled. He yelled again when Elven-Girl10 got away from him and ran for the hall.

When he finally reached the gym he stared with his mouth hanging open.

It was utter chaos. There were people on the stage, but no one seemed to notice them. Not that they were saying anything. In fact, one of them looked like he was laughing. The audience was doing everything from talking to yelling to falling asleep, depending on the person. Elven-girl10 had run to "her" seat in the front row and was now in a fight with the man who HAD been sitting there. He finally came in second and retreated to the seat in second row, and was now complaining – loudly – about her long, pointy ears and how they were SO out of fashion. Drama Queen – King, Lloyd thought.

"Lloyd!" Linus called, coming up to him. "Hey, what are you doing here? I thought we were supposed to be minding the tickets?" Lloyd's eye twitched.

"Listen you – " He was interrupted by a pair of VERY high pitched screams coming from two of the seats in the last row.

"LLOYD! LINUS!" The Reed Brothers half-turned to see K-Girl and A-Sis throwing themselves at them. Turning the other way, the Reed brothers beat a hasty retreat for the door, pursued by screaming purple and green blurs.

WildfireDreams stood by the ticket booth, looking around for the ticket managers. When Lloyd and Linus came running down the hall, she smiled. "Hey, is there still time to buy a – " Lloyd and Linus ran past her screaming, leaving her talking to nothing. " – Ticket?" She turned to look at the Reed brothers and was almost run over by their streaking shadows. WildfireDreams watched the odd procession, then grinned evilly at headed down for the gym.

"Hey, hey," Someone whispered to her. She turned to see Xelion, dressed in a very suspicious, large, spy-type trench coat. "You wanna buy some bubblegum?" He asked, opening the coat to reveal row on row of gum.

"Hmm…" WildfireDreams pondered, examining the different types.

* * *

Totally Random POV

* * *

"I TELL you! If she's so shy around guys – by guys I really mean Sain – WHY does she wear that itty bitty skirt? LOOK at it!! There MUST be one that's longer that, or tights, or SOMETHING!" Wandering Cat glared at the stage, which was now devoid of people, waiting for the impromptu "intermission" to die down.

Nikoli, who took up two seats for no apparent reason, edged away to the far side of the second one, trying to put as much "distance" between herself and the ranter.

TOKAM settled himself into his seat, flanked by the exasperated looking Xylon and Arc, all of whom were enjoying – or maybe not – Arctura's lovely pyrotechnics display. PantBurner didn't seem to be liking it though – especially since he was the one being set on fire. Xylon groaned.

"Hey! My laptop!" Flamefirefox yelled as her computer started to go static JUST as she was about to read the spoiler of the last scene of Twelfth Night. "You ruined my e-mail!" She screamed at Arctura and chucked the laptop at her head, thus starting the first girl-on-girl catfight of the fiction.

Oblivious to the fight, Trislika searched on hands and knees around her chair. "What are you looking for?" Katelynn asked.

"Wallet… wallet… I can't find my wallet!" Trislika wailed.

"…I thought you said you never had one." Katelynn pointed out.

"…"

Beside them Regulus was fidgeting in his seat, eyes darting everywhere. "What's he PLANNING!??" He finally yelled. Several people turned to look at him, then calmly pretended he simply didn't exist.

Wintress was having fun with Miss Daisy. The only problem seemed to be that the talking white pony was seated right next to the Winged Wolf. "Who arranged these seats?" Miss Daisy complained, and sat in her owners lap for extra security.

Bloody Mary, the invisible one, stood to one side, watching everyone. Then, very quietly, she slipped up the cast stair and snuck into the backstage.

* * *

Hector POV

* * *

"All right boys and girls, it looks like they've calmed down," Ms. Spencer said, peering through the curtains to the audience, the low buzz of chatter rising and falling in sporadic bursts. "Who was on when this all started? Matthew, Heath, Wil, Kent and Nino, right? Get out there!" The named people clustered around the entrance and were about to go in when Hector cleared his throat – loudly. "What?" Ms. Spencer demanded, turning to give him a smoldering look.

"Well, Ms. Spencer…" Hector did his best to look innocent, but Matthew's grin was very contagious and he was almost 100 certain that most of the people behind him were wearing similar looks. "It's just that, well – Nino's not there."

"WHAT???" Ms. Spencer screeched at whirled around. True to his word, Nino was not among the group. A quick roll call revealed that Jaffar was gone too.

"Aaargh!" Ms. Spencer screamed. In the audience almost all conversation fell silent. Flamefirefox and Arctura ceased their catfight and looked up.

"I wonder if that's part of the surprise?" Flamefirefox asked, only to be tossed out of the gym by Arctura, who then proclaimed herself ultimate victor of the Catfight.

"Alright, EVERYONE! Search EVERYTHING, do you hear me?" Ms. Spencer yelled, trying to get people to join in the hunt for Nino and Jaffar.

"But Ms. Spencer," Lyn said, looking pained. "It's been so long already… if we wait any more, the audience – we'll be too late to finish the play! And Jaffar's probably with her, right?"

Ms. Spencer looked like she might blow up at Lyn's suggestion, but finally sagged. "But Nino's part? Who's going to play Viola?"

"I think Priscilla's Nino's understudy," Eliwood said innocently. "Right Priscilla?" Priscilla looked slightly green but nodded. Heath looked slightly happy that Priscilla was going to be his "wife", and nodded. Raven looked slightly murderous and nodded his head, marking Heath as his next punching bag.

"Alright, alright..." Ms. Spencer sighed. "And Jaffar?"

"Jaffar had an understudy?" Guy asked.

"Yes, Guy," Matthew said, rolling his eyes. "Last time I checked, it was you."

"OO" Guy gulped. "Oh... right…"

"Alright, fine, whatever…" A defeated Ms. Spencer shook her head. "Let's get going and see if we can finish this with SOME semblance of order…" Matthew and Hector made eye contact and nodded. Slipping behind Ms. Spencer, Hector walked out onto the stage.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Hector began as the crowd went very quiet. "We apologize for the delay in Act 5. Because of you patience, and because you are such a WONDERFUL audience," he paused as some people laughed or giggled – there even seemed to be a crazy Goth cackling down there – the started again, "We are going to be doing a little bit of… reorganizing… with the cast. We ask only for your co-operation." He finished, bowed to the crowd, and walked offstage. He winked at Matthew, who winked back, before walking over to stand with Lyn. Matthew, Kent, Wil, Priscilla, Heath, Eliwood, Karla and Lowen stood together conversing for a moment before the eight of them trooped onstage. Lyn and Hector grinned at each other, then rushed to the edge of the exit to watch the forthcoming chaos.

Heath, Wil, Matthew, Priscilla and Kent took up the normal positions, then turned to "see" Lowen and Karla dragging Eliwood onstage by his feet, his hands dragging on the floor behind his head. Eliwood seemed to be having a hard time of it, since Lowen kept veering off towards to edge of the stage, making Eliwood pull a painful split that his body wasn't ready to handle. Hector wasn't sure if he would rather wince or laugh.

"Hey!" Heath said, pointing at the officers and Eliwood. "I know him! He's that nasty bastard who cheated me and my house out of a lot of money that time!"

In the brief silence that followed Heath's line, a chirping cricket could be heard from the general area of the audience.

"Yeah, I think you do," Karla said, giving the leg she held a shake. "This is the captain dude that blew up some of your ships. I think he also but the leg off one of your relatives, but I don't really remember which one. Stop shaking!" She yelled at Eliwood, giving his leg another shake.

"Are you going to hurt him?" Priscilla asked. "He was nice to me, but if he hurt someone related to you," she clung to Heath's arm and gazed up at him through her lashes. "Then we should just hang him and be done with it."

"Hmm…" Heath "thought".

"Hey! Don't I get any say in this?" Eliwood demanded, trying to sit up.

"No," everyone onstage chorused.

"That's not fair!" Eliwood gripped. "I gave her my wallet! It had lots of gold in it, and I never got it back!"

"So?" Heath asked.

"I want my gold back!" Eliwood wailed.

"I've never seen this guy before in my life," Priscilla said. "I bet he's some moocher!"

There was a chorus of "boo!!" from the audience.

"My cue," Lyn grinned to Hector and swept out onto the stage, Serra all alone in following her, since Priscilla was now Viola. Hector tried not to laugh at the looks of the people in the audience. Instead of her long, hot, irritating black gown, Lyn was wearing a tight-fitting dress that barely cleared her calf. There were feathery sleeves of light fabric that drifted down the back, giving it the appearance of a cloak, and slightly raised boots commanded everyone to look at Lyn as she moved. Hector fought the urge to laugh, but a glimpse at the looks of the faces of the people in the audience caused him to run from the spot so no one could hear him as he laughed so hard he cried.

* * *

Nino's POV

* * *

It was only Jaffar's joy and the possibility of getting out of the play that caused Nino to go along. Besides, being with Jaffar was more fun than the play. Right?

When all the extra people had come streaming in and Ms. Spencer started going ballistic – again – Nino and Jaffar had slipped out the back door. They had almost been run over by Linus and Lloyd and the two girls who chased them, but they made it off of school property in relative safety. As the walked, Jaffar put his hand around her shoulders and Nino snuggled closer to him. This was DEFINITELY better than the play. She didn't get to cuddle Jaffar there – partially because Jaffar didn't want anyone to see him "weak", although everyone knew how he felt about Nino.

She'd overheard him having a conversation with Uncle Legault – well, it was a slight one-sided conversation, but still. Legault had asked Jaffar if he planned to marry Nino. She hadn't heard the answer, but she hoped the answer was yes. She really liked Jaffar – Erk just wasn't the same.

The streetlights gave way to their shadows as they walked quietly along the streets. A small park, built for the children of the area, interrupted the row of townhouses. At this time it was empty, and Nino skipped ahead of Jaffar as he followed along behind her. He sat silently on a still swing as Nino hopped on the one beside him.

"…Nino."

"Yeah, Jaffar?" Nino set her wide green eyes on him.

"…I have something to ask you…"

* * *

Lyn's POV

* * *

Lyn relished the shock from the audience. If they were going to mess with this play, well DAMN IT, let's mess with it! She thought with a grin. She stopped to watch the goings-on between the two parties, her feet planted solidly, her hands on her hips, glaring at the people assembled in front of her.

"Ah! Olivia!" Heath greeted her. "What perfect timing! There's this great bar down-town – you want to, we could go together and, y'know, buy a couple of wedding rings and a night at a downtown hotel – " he shut up when both Lyn and Priscilla gave him hard whacks across the head.

"Oh, hush up. I've no use for you. Now, Cesario, darling, come along."

"WHAT?" Priscilla gasped.

"Hey, that's my servant you're hitting on!" Heath glared at her. "Besides, I'M the one who loves you – why should I suffer? Tell me that!"

"And then tell me why I should put with being hit on!" Priscilla added. Lyn raised an elegant eyebrow.

"Well –"

"Besides," Priscilla pressed on, "I love him! I want to be with him forever and ever and ever – " Priscilla gazed up at Heath with her big eyes, and the look that passed between the two of them was so sweet Lyn thought she might be sick. A sight noise from backstage caused her to look over her shoulder briefly. Hector stood in the doorway, making gagging motions. Lyn had to suppress a giggle.

"Hey!" Matthew elbowed the two. "You're not supposed to be in love yet!"

"Oh. Right." Heath blushed and the two of them looked at the ground. Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Ah! You WENCH!" Lyn glared at Priscilla. "You traitorous, lying, sneaky, – "

we will break here as Lyn goes on a swearing rant. In place of this vulgar language, we treat you to scenes from the Caribbean, Hawaii, and Bay of Freezing Cold Fundy. Aren't those ice floes pretty? We thought so too. We now return you to regular broadcasting

"You SAID you loved ME!"

"I did NOT!" Priscilla shot back at Lyn.

"Then why did you marry me? Huh?" Lyn taunted. "Gotcha!"

"Say WHAT?" Heath exclaimed, looking shocked. "Pris – er… Cesario! Is this TRUE?"

"No! No, I swear!"

"I sense a bitch-fight coming on…" Kent muttered to Wil who nodded in agreement.

"It IS! And just to prove it, I have the priest who married us!" Lyn said triumphantly. Ninian emerged from offstage, wearing priest's robes and trying to look as much like a guy as possible. Lyn tried not to laugh.

"Before the painted windows of my cardboard church did I marry them, in the name of Roland, Sacae, and that old fart Athos." Ninian said with all the conviction of a real church minister. There was laughter at her slight towards Athos.

"Noooo! Pris – Cesario! Why did you lead me on! We could have been so HAPPY together! Creating a little place for just the two of us, somewhere out of the way, and – "

"I did **NOT** MARRY HER!" Priscilla yelled.

"Yes you did! I have the proof RIGHT ON MY FINGER!" Lyn said, waving the wrong finger in Priscilla's direction.

"Why, you – "

"Hey! All fights are supposed to start with ME!" Erk said, stomping until he joined them onstage. He'd changed his clothes – probably traded with Hector, since they were so big – and looked every inch the snobby kid playing the punk, right down to the purple hair. "Oh yeah, Toby needs a doctor, since they haven't invented ambulances yet!"

"AAAAAAH! IT'S EEEEEEERK!" Someone from the audience yelled, diving for cover under his front row seat. Several eyebrows were raised, but they continued on.

"Why, for the love of the now-of-godlike St. Elimine, does S- TOBY need a doctor?"

"Because Raven got mad that Sain was hitting on Lucius and decided to pound him into fish carp." Erk said matter-of-factly.

"And this man must be rewarded – er, punished!" Lyn said. "Who was it?"

"I already told you, it was Raven." Several throats cleared at the same time alerted him to his error. "Oh, right. Uh… it was him! Wait – Priscilla? I thought it was supposed to be Nin - oof!" Erk winced as Serra elbowed him.

"He told me!" She cried, several people covering their ears from her high-pitched voice. "Andrew told me it was HIM!" She pointed her finger dramatically at Priscilla.

"Awesome, Cesario!"

"But HE tried to beat up ME!" Priscilla protested.

Just then Sain staggered out onstage with the help of Matthew. The make-up crew had done a good job with him, Lyn thought. He really looked as if someone had beaten him up.

"See!" Erk said, pointing his finger at Sain, who just groaned.

"Hiya Tob! How's' it going?" Heath asked, trying very hard not to laugh outright.

Sain might've tried to answer – Lyn wasn't sure – then fell over onto the stage, facedown. There were a few cried from some of Sain's conquests who were watching, but no one really seemed to care.

Lyn rolled her eyes. "Get him out of here!" Matthew and Kent carried Sain off, evil grins on their faces, as Erk followed. Moments after they left Hector ducked through the opening and came onstage.

"Hiya, babe!" Hector greeted Lyn with a hug and a kiss. From the audience Lyn thought she heard a few sighs, and a couple of grumbles – she ignored them. This was too much fun. "Sorry about him," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "But he was getting all aggressive, trying to fight me and stuff…"

"That's QUITE alright," Lyn said empathetically. "We don't really like him anyway."

"Oh good," Hector said and kissed her again, then looked over to where Eliwood was still on the floor, Ninian hovering anxiously over him, and trying not to look like she was doing so. "Hey, there you are Antonio! I was looking for you! I kinda lost the purse – all that money you lent me? But since I'm married to this super-hot babe, I don't really care, so – yeah. Toodles."

"Hey!" Eliwood glared at Hector from the floor. "I'm going to hold you responsible for all that gold!"

Lyn did her best to looked shocked as she looked back and forth from "Sebastian" to "Cesario". "…I think there's a problem here…"

"Problem?" Hector lifted his head to look at Lyn. "What problem?"

"Well, the fact that you two look the same might be one of the contributing factors…" Heath offered.

"Who two?" Hector asked, then looked at Priscilla. "Hey, don't I know you?"

Priscilla glared at him. "YES, you know my, you asshole! I'm P – Viola!"

"Sister!" Hector cried with enthusiasm, sweeping her up in a bone-crushing hug. Faint "aaaack!" sounds could be heard.

"Sister!" Heath exclaimed, "Well… that clears up a lot."

"I… was hitting… on a WOMAN!?" Lyn twitched.

"You're gay?" Hector asked, still 'hugging' crushing Priscilla. Lyn slapped him across the face.

"If I WAS, WHY am I married to YOU then?"

"No idea," Hector said innocently. Lyn rolled her eyes to the ceiling as if praying for patience.

"OK, so let me get this straight," Heath said, frowning. "I took … her… in as my attendant," he pointed to Priscilla. "Olivia, the light of my life, fell in love with my servant – "

"Who was in love with you," Hector put in.

"Thanks, I think. So I was in love with Olivia, Olivia was in love with Cesario, and Cesario was in love with me. I did get that right?"

"Well, first off, her name's Viola, and secondly you forget that he's really a she, and that Olivia, thinking I was my sister, married me. So, I think we have a problem," Hector turned to Lyn. "Still want to marry me, or should we just get the… Father…" Hector turned his head slightly to look at Ninian who was on her knees next to Eliwood, kissing as far as he could see. His mouth twitched. "To divorce us."

Lyn looked him over and grinned. Hector met her and smiled as well. "Naaaah!" They chorused moving together in such a way that there were several catcalls from the audience and not a few cries of "Get a room!"

* * *

Legault's POV

* * *

As the group onstage had struggled to work out who was in love with who, who was what gender and who was married to who, Legault and Matthew stood in one corner, talking together in low tones. Finally they broke up, Matthew heading backstage as Legault returned to his seat. He grinned as he looked onstage to see Lyn and Hector literally all over each other, with quite a few cast members gawking from the sides.

"Get a room!" He yelled, and other members of the audience took up the call.

"Where were you?" Isadora asked as Legault sat down next to her.

"Oh, I just went to the bathroom and met up with Matthew on the way back," he said. Isadora raised an eyebrow, but shrugged and went back to watching the cast try and break up Lyn and Hector. They finally succeeded, and the play resumed.

* * *

Matthew POV

* * *

Matthew rolled his eyes as they FINALLY put themselves back on track. Serra was doing her best to place herself square between Lyn and Hector, but Matthew had a feeling that if either Hector or Lyn cared to, they could just shove her out of the way and jump all over each other again. He shuddered at the thought, then checked the signed he was carrying again. This was going to be fun.

"Viola," Heath was saying, holding one of Priscilla's hands in his own. "You said before you loved me… do you still?" The look the two were exchanging was sickening and Matthew could hear a mix of sighs (from the girls) and gags (from the guys).

"Of course!" Priscilla said enthusiastically. Heath looked thrilled at her response.

"Lemme through, jackass," a voice growled from behind Matthew. "I'll kill him."

"Oh, give it up, Raven," Matthew rolled his eyes.

"I SAID, lemme THROUGH!" as Raven started to bull his way past, Matthew stuck his foot out, tripping him. The thud shook the stage, but only Serra, Lyn and Hector noticed. Matthew waved cheerfully at them as he sat cross-legged on Raven's back.

"I would like to see you again… dressed as a girl," Heath said, slightly nervous looking.

"Of course!" Priscilla agreed. "But… I think Malvolio has the address of the dry cleaner who took them… they were all wet and STUNK of salt – "

"Ack!" Lyn exclaimed. "Malvolio! I forgot! He was acting crazy, so I looked him up…"

"High five, Lyn!" Hector grinned as Lyn blushed scarlet. Matthew gagged before remember it was his cue. Taking care to step on the back of Raven's head, he walked out onstage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, nobles all born," He greeted them with a bow. "I have a message for you from Malvolio, but first," he turned to the audience, "I have a message to a member of the audience."

There was a sudden, electric hum that went around the gym as people looked up and then at each other as they tried to figure out who was the "lucky" one. With a grin, Matthew unrolled the sign, letting it hang down in front of him. His face split into a wide grin when a startled shriek told him she'd seen it.

"Does that sign say what I think it does, Matthew?" Hector asked him.

"If what you think it says is "Will you marry me, Isadora?" then you are totally correct, my friend."

"Who told you to do THAT?" Lyn demanded.

"The person who wants to marry her?"

"And who's THAT?"

"Well, since he was just down on his knees in the aisle, and since she's all over him now, I'd say it was Legault," Hector told her calmly.

"You think that was a yes?" Heath asked.

"Yeah, I'd say so. Why?" Matthew asked, turning to look at his friend.

"Just checking," Heath said, before cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling, "SHE SAID YES!"

A roar of pure noise went up around the audience as Isadora, bright red, and Legault kissed in front of everyone who could see them.

* * *

Hector's POV

* * *

"Ok, where are we now?" Lyn asked as the noise started to die down and Legault and Isadora sat back down.

"Um, I think Matthew was about to hand us the letter from Malvolio, or something," Kent said.

"Oh right. Matt, you got the letter?"

"Of course," Matthew said. "Are we ready to start again?"

"Yep," Hector nodded. "Take it away Matt."

"My lords and ladies, I bring a letter from Malvolio," Matthew said loudly, getting everyone's attention. He bowed with a flourish and handed the "letter" to Lyn.

"Eh, I don't feel like reading right now… Hect – Sebastian, you read it for me."

"Meh," Hector grunted and passed it on to Heath.

"He's not my servant," Heath said and passed it to Kent. Kent looked like he was about to pass it on to Priscilla, but a warning glare from Heath caused him to open the letter with a sigh and start reading.

"By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it; though you have put me into darkness and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induc'd me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of my injury. THE MADLY-US'D MALVOLIO."

There was a pause as Kent finished reading and everyone looked at each other.

"He sounds mad to me," Lyn said.

"Ditto." Hector agreed.

"Can we leave him there? He was mean to me!" Priscilla grinned.

"Certainly, my dear." Lyn said with a bow. "Kent, go and tell Malvolio that he'll be incarcerated until further notice."

"As my lady commands," Kent said, tripping over Raven as he left.

"Shoot," Lyn said quietly. "We were supposed to tell bring Malvolio here so he could tell everyone Toby married Maria…"

"Meh, who cares?" Hector shrugged.

"We could tell them that Erk married Serra," Matthew suggested.

"YES, YES, PLEASE, PLEASE!" Serra's piercing voice shattered Hector's eardrum. "EEEEERRKKKYYYYY-POOO!" She screeched, running offstage.

"Um... ow." Hector winced. "I think that was our cue to exit. Let's go," He grinned, hooking an arm around Lyn's shoulder and leading her offstage.

Heath turned to Priscilla and smiled, offering her his arm. She took it quickly, as if afraid it might disappear and the two of them moved offstage, a muffled squawk coming from the passage as they, too, tripped over Raven.

* * *

Matthew's POV

* * *

After all the noise had died down, Matthew stood alone on the stage, grinning slightly as he strummed idly at a guitar.

An electric guitar.

The sudden, blazing lights, might have started a few people, but then so did seeing Raven, Hector, and Kent, dressed as punk rockers; and Lyn, Serra (who was clutching Erk by the neck) and Erk (who was being clutched by his throat by Serra) dressed as backup singers.

The fever pitch of a rock concert was quickly achieved, aided by Linus and Lloyd who came tearing through, pursued by two screaming fans. Then Matthew nodded and they were off.

"When that I was and a little boy, with hey, ho, the wind and the rain, a foolish thing was but a toy, for the rain, it come every day!"

Raven grabbed the lone mike, several girls screaming in appropriate fangirl appreciation. "But when I came to man's estate, With hey, ho, ! Against knaves, ing thieves men shut their gate, For the rain come every ing day!"

"But when I came, finally, I arrive, with hey, ho, hell! By swaggering could I never thrive, For the rain, come e'ery day!" Kent did his best, but, for some reason, the excitement seemed to die until Hector took his turn.

"But when I came too my bed, with hey, ho, hell! With -pots still drunk and runnin' for the head, For the rain, it come every day!"

Then Matthew took the mike back again.

"A great while ago the world begun, With hey, ho, hell! But that was all one, and our play is done, thank you all, it's been fun!"


	23. Epilogue: Cast Party

Whitney: So you thought you could get rid of me, did you?

Erk: NO! LET ME DIE!

Whitney: Bwahahaha! This is my last (I promise) installment of Twelfth Night.

Nino/Serra: ::crying::

Erk: YES!

Whitney: -Before starting a Midsummer Night's Dream.

Nino/Serra: YES!

Erk: ::crying::

* * *

**Review Replies** (or whatever) 

Wandering Cat: I'm so glad you liked it! I was hoping people might. Even better, it surprised you! w00t! Yes, they really have supports, but apparently (I've been informed), they don't get married. But thrydid in my fic. And everyone mocks poor Shakespear.

And since you've been around so long... ::hands over one of Rath's bandana::

nightwaler: ...

Regulus: Well, I might, but it's kinda over... :P

firefan: ::salutes:: Yes ma'am!

flamefirefox: Well, er um... I would love to respond to that, but I'm not sure how So I'll jsut respond by saying "thank you for reading my story!"

K-Girl: Looks like you're still around... (read below). I am planning on a sequel (see above). But I don't think I'm going to do the one you asked for because A) I haven't read it, and B) My friends tell me it's not a good story. Plus, it might be too long...? Thank you for reviewing!

K-Girl (again): Too late to buy a ticket, I've already put you in! (but you don't get to see the show, sorry :P)

katelynn: Yes, Legault and Isadora get married in my fic. Or rather, they get engaged. Maybe I'll have the wedding in the next story. I'm glad you liked it

TrisRika: ::runs around with wallet:: Bwahahah! See, I did write more. But this is the (final) end of this play. For now. bwaha

Bloody Mary: I hope very much that you are a Goth or like them. And I hope you Guy and Rath even more. Precioussss...

Aeros Fujita: That's my secret that shall never be revealed! ... ok, I was going to get him to ask her to marry him, but I'd already had one proposal scene and didn't want overload. So chances are it won't come up until the next play or something.

Thank you for following my story : )

bobby joe: thank you.

Nikoli: ... thanks. I think : P

Pant Burner: Why do you think I switched it around? I'm evil! And being evil is such fun! Bwahah

And while I glad you liked it, I'm not sure why you wanted it to be over... which is why I've done an epilogue! BWAHAHAHA

Fury: Here you go. Cast party just for you.

elven-girl10: Oops about the ticket thing, oh well, you got in for free! (_"...it's like a free ride when you've already paid..."_) Thank you for being such a long-standing reviewer, and I shall return in sequel! woo-hoo! (_ain't nobody gonna stoppa my stride..._) ignore my cheesy song implants

WildfireDreams: Thanky!

TOKAM: LOL, I'm glad you found it that way. It's always nice to be found entertaining, especially when you're entertainment-challenged : P I'm glad I got your characters personality right - she seems like someone I'd be very good at writing about. We're so alike : P Be afraid... : )

chaosrougerabbit: keep reading...

The Winged Wolf: Look! An epilogue before the sequel! Yaay!

I'm still debating if it's a good thing or a bad thing the play was so messed up from your review... :S oh well ;)

Firelien: LOL, I'm so glad it makes up for the long delay. I hope this makes up for the even longer delay.eh-heh. Unfortunately, you were not one of the one's chasing Lloyd and Linus, you were too busy oogling the hotness onstage, something I'm pretty sure you wouldn't object too :P

Ha, that's great that Fury's your brother. Maybe I should have had him break down the door with his head...? Or is that not mean enough ;) (j/k)

And here's the cast party, just for you! (sort of). I'm glad I've got a PxH supporter, and I'm glad I've helped you expand your borders to include LxI. Too bad they don't get a good ending, but thank you for telling me. I just love spoilers :D

And if you're REALLY good, and ask me too, I'll work on drawing you some pictures of those two scenes you mentioned... I'm not that bad an artist. At least, I think I'm good :P

And yeah, I worked harder on this chapter because I realized there was a decline and I was like "I can do better..." I hope this holds up to the former level. Booyah, next chapter: BRING IT ON!

* * *

Stan loved his job at the Pizza Place. He was determined to be the best, brightest, most-loved Pizza guy ever! He had only one more delivery to complete before his shift was over, a large order for the nearby high school. If he got this over with quickly, he would be free to go early, and could spend the rest of the night as he wanted. Maybe he could take his girlfriend to the movies… well, if he HAD a girlfriend, maybe. 

The school parking lot was now almost empty, with a few dejected-looking teachers cars near the doors and the new, prettier cars of the students interspaced all over the lot. Pulling perfectly into the space right outside the back door, he opened the gleaming white car door and smoothed his ever-so-slightly creased blue-and-white uniform. Bending as little as possible he opened the back door and removed the thirty-odd pizza boxes and six-packs of pop, performing a dazzling balancing act as he marched to the back door. He was about to knock when he heard a distance screaming noise that was quickly growing louder. Turning to see who – or what – it was, Stan the immaculate pizza man was run over by the fleeing Lloyd and Linus and the pursuing K-Girl and A-Sis.

After lying in a trampled heap for a few moments, Stan twitched a few limbs and finally got to his feet again. After making everything perfect once more – except for the wrinkles he couldn't smooth out of his peaked cap and the few footprints and gum stains now embedded on his shirt – he rapped on the door again. "Pizza!" he yelled, hoping someone would hear him. Someone had, apparently, as the backdoor creaked open.

"P-p-pizzaaa…" The door opened to reveal a terribly rumpled and gaunt women with scraggly brown hair that fell into wide-open blue eyes that had bags under them that wouldn't qualify as carry-on luggage at the airport.

"SHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEK!" Stan the random pizza man screamed like a girl. "A GHOST!" And with that Stan dropped the pizza and pop – a few of which exploded on impact – fled back to his car and pulled out of that cursed school, never to return again.

Ms. Spencer stared at the pizza on the ground, and the space where the pizza man had been. She then shrugged her shoulders and walked back into the building, leaving the pizzas where they had fallen, their half-open cardboard lids fluttering dejectedly in the wind.

* * *

Disclaimer (which I always forget): I don't own FE. Obvious, right? Good.

* * *

Backstage was pandemonium. Everyone – with a few exceptions – was there celebrating the end of the project from hell.

"You know," Hector remarked with a tragic sigh, "Now that it's over, I almost miss it."

Eliwood looked at the floor gloomily, his arm around Ninian. "All my parts got cut out of the final production. No one will ever know what kind of hero I am!"

Hector and Lyn exchanged eye glances that meant "fruitcake" then shook their heads as Ninian tried to cheer up her boyfriend.

"Oh, come on Eliwood – I heard there were summer programme plays, so you can try and get into one this summer!"

"Really?" Eliwood's head came up, his blue eyes almost overflowing with tears. Hector got a very uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Yay! Maybe they'll be doing Hamlet – I'd make a great tragic Prince, I know it!"

"No, I really don't think you would Eliwood," Lyn said, looking across the room. "Heath, though – he might."

"Why Heath?" Eliwood asked.

"Because Raven just caught him kissing with Priscilla and is now beating the crap out of him," Lyn reported. "Everyone knows you can't be tragic until you've suffered enough."

"Oh. I guess you're right." Eliwood sighed and slumped his shoulders again. Hector and Lyn sighed and rolled their eyes upward as once again Ninian was left to the task of trying to cheer up her easily depressed lover.

"This is getting boring," Matthew grumbled as he joined the group. "I thought someone ordered pizza?"

"Sain was, I think," Lyn told him. "But knowing Sain, it never got ordered."

"SAIN!" Hector bellowed, spotting the man (?) in question.

"Ah, my good lord!" Sain greeted them as he wandered over. "And what wonder of beauty and delight do we have here? My lady, please allow me the pleasure of gazing upon your face, of comparing you to the moon – "

"Sain?" Lyn interrupted in a pleasant voice.

"Yes my lady?"

"Shut up."

"You wound me, my lady!" Sain exclaimed, overly dramatic, clutching both hands over his heart – if his heart was located on the right side of his body. Lyn groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Sain," Hector asked, pulling the mega-flirt's attention away from Lyn, "Did you order the pizzas?"

"Of course!" Sain said, the very picture of innocence. "I called them 45 minutes ago, before the play even ended!"

"Then where ARE they?" Matthew complained. "I'm hungry!"

"I thought I heard something by the back door earlier," Rebecca said, joining them. "It sounded like someone shrieking."

"Ms. Spencer's been doing that all night," Hector shrugged.

"W-ell, that is true," Rebecca conceded. "But you never know, right?"

Hector was about to protest when Lyn gave him the evil eye. With a sigh he turned and trudged for the back door, to see if someone had been there. He was surprised to see it open, and dozens of pizza boxes lying on the ground.

"Well, at least she was right," he said, then yelled over his shoulder, "PIZZAS HERE!"

The ensuing stampede was immediate.

After around twenty minutes of squabbling, arguing, and downright fighting over the pizzas and who got to eat what, the pizza was set out along the tables. The tables were quickly swarmed by the guys, and Serra, who stood behind Erk screeching at him to get her the biggest piece of pizza possible, and then beat him up when he lost the slice to Legault.

"Poor Erk," Hector commented as he happily munched away at his very own pizza. Lyn didn't answer, just glared at him, "What?" He asked her. She glared at him for a few more seconds, the growled and flounced away towards the tables where Fiora had gotten into a fight with Sain and was beating him senseless with an empty pizza box.

Legault and Isadora – who by now was wearing the pretty engagement ring Legault had bought her – were sitting on chairs together in the corner, surrounded by people who were happily chatting away.

Rebecca was having a hard time trying to get the guys to leave her alone, for as soon as she chased Wil away, Lowen would walk, literally, into her – probably totally by accident – and then try to strike up a conversation. Rebecca ended up spending half the night hiding in the darkest corner she could find, all to keep the guys away.

The noise level rose significatly as Lucius brought out the portable television set.

"What's that for?" Priscilla called.

"DUH!!" Lowen said, and was promptly set upon by Raven and Heath. The result was not pretty.

"We're going to watch the play!" Lucius said happily. "Someone was nice enough to tape it for us, so we get to watch it at our cast party!"

There was sudden silence as the reality of what Lucius has just said set in,

"I think my mother wants me home at 9," Erk said nervously. "We'd better be going then," he told Serra and tried to drag her out the door.

"Aw, Erky, I'd wanted to watch the play!" Serra pouted.

"Too bad, we're leaving NOW –"

"**I WANT TO STAY AND WATCH IT!"** Serra shrieked at the top of her lungs. Erk glared at her, but grumpily stopped and allowed her to skip back into the throng, dragging him with her. The expression on his face clearly read "why me?"

"Poor Erk," Leila said slipping under Matthew's arm. "He's going to be scarred for life."

"Regardless of if he ever gets out of her clutches or not," Matthew added.

Hector shuddered at the thought of someone having to go through life attached to Erk's side. "At least she's dropped the marriage thing for the time being."

"Yeah, but only until they both get out of high school," Matthew said, the others nodding into sympathetic agreement.

"Ok, I think that's got it," Lucius said, finishing setting up the TV. With a flourish he popped the tape in and turned on the television.

* * *

Red faced, Lucius almost ripped the tape out of the VCR, replacing it with the CORRECT tape to the laughter of others. 

"I wonder how he got a porn tape," Hector said, casting a sideways glance at Matthew and Leila. Matthew whistled while Leila looked as innocent as she could. Hector's face split into a grin and he turned to watch the TV, which was now playing the last version of the play they had done that night. Slowly everyone settled down to watch, whether they wanted to or not.

"Hey, has anyone seen Rath or Guy?" Karla asked suddenly, looking around. There was silence, followed by a couple of hesitant "no…"s

"Yeah, I saw 'em," Matthew said. "They were with this creepy Goth girl, Bloody Mary or something. She kept hanging onto Guy's arm and going "my precccioussssss…" and Rath was just kinda dragged along on a leash. Why?"

Everyone relaxed as they realized there was nothing at all wrong with a crazed fan kidnapping two of their friends. People settled back down to watch the movie as Karla shrugged. "No reason."

"Hey, pass the popcorn," Hector called as everyone laughed at Lowen, once again, walking off the stage.

* * *

The temperature outside had dropped sharply from the earlier warmth offered by the sun. Lyn stretched and yawned. "What time is it?" 

Matthew and Hector both moved to check their watches. "12:01," Matthew answered for her. Hector looked at his wrist quizzically.

"Where did my watch go?" Hector asked, searching the ground around him. Matthew and Leila traded guilty-looking glances, but said nothing, putting on innocent faces when Hector glared at them.

"Anyway, I think it's time for us to go home," Leila said, tugging lightly on Matthew's arm. "We're going to have to bum a ride from Legault or Erk."

"Let's go see if Legault can give us a ride," Matthew said, guiding her off. "It's a lot easier to deal with those two flirting than it is to put up with Serra shrieking Erk's ear off."

Hector rolled his eyes – something he seemed to do a lot of – as a car driving by him honked it's horn. Hector grinned and waved good-bye to Eliwood as he and Ninian left the parking lot, only to almost collide head-on with Lowen's car. Lyn, standing beside Hector, shook her head. "You'd think Eliwood would be able to drive better than Lowen, for goodness' sake."

Hector grinned. "This is Eliwood we're talking about. He doesn't think, let alone do anything else."

"Be nice, Hector!" Lyn chided, trying to hide a grin. "He's your friend!"

"Which gives me automatic license to mock him," Hector said, unlocking his car and opening the driver's door. "I think we'll go out the back way to try and avoid the idiots who don't know how to drive."

"I think that sounds like a very good idea," Lyn said, looking a little pale as she watched Legault's car pull out with a loud squeal.

* * *

Not far from the school was a hill that overlooked the city. At night, with all the buildings lit up from the inside, it was a wonderful view; a city of lights that stretched on forever, untouchable and beautiful. Wind blew across the hill, caressing the long grass and weaving between the two bodies that sat at the top of the hill watching the city lights below. 

Jaffar kept very still as Nino lay against him. He was pretty sure she was asleep, but was unwilling to move from the hilltop with the risk of waking her. Gently, without too much movement, he draped his jacket over her to keep the worst of the chill off. She moved a little bit, then snuggled closer to him. He looked down at the top of her head for a while, a gentle look on his face. Tenderly he kissed the top of her head then looked back over the bright lights of the city.

_Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me  
__And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free  
__I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you  
__And at sweet night, you are my own_

_Take my hand  
We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning's light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where love is more than just your name_

_

* * *

_

**Thank you to everyone who has read my story and/or reviewed. You are the reason I am still writing, and I cannot tell you what you're opinion has meant to me. ::bows:: Thank you once again, and see you next show!**

_:: Song: Anywhere by Evanescence::_


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